There was a discussion started in the local homeschool e-mail group that really got me thinking. One of the parents put their child in school because of a worry the child wouldn't get a lot of socialization. The results were less than satisfactory, so they wanted to get some advice from other homeschool parents. It really got me thinking. What about my kids and their socialization?
Back this past fall we were making a good start. We went to a homeschool field trip. Then we made plans to join the co-op. We made connections with other homeschool families. I was really feeling good about this whole homeschool thing. My kids would get so much socialization they would be glad to spend a quiet day at home.
Of course, that's not what happened. We stopped having the money to go on trips. We didn't have the money to register for the co-op. Financial times have been hard on everyone. I staryed to wonder if I wad failing my kids. They needed to get out and socialize more!
This, as always, got me thinking about socialization in homeschool families. I keep hearing about these homeschool families that are never home. Their kids are involved in so many activities that they never really have any down time. That could never be my family. Not only do I have more to do than shuttle my kids around from one activity to the next, but, let's face it, my family doesn't have that kind of money. We live below the poverty line. We don't have the money for sports, classes and all kinds of field trips. That kind of homeschooling is for people with money. We're just not that kind of family.
I'm not saying my kids don't get out and don't have friends. They do go out. They do have friends. They just don't get to see them every day like kids in school do. We try and plan one play date every week, but that can be tough when everyone has such busy lives and when their friends don't always live close by. It should be easier now that the weather is nicer and it getd dark a little later. There's more of a chance of making friends at the park. It's especially hard when some of their friends go to school and just don't have the time to hang out with other friends. They see their school friends at school and that's about it. It's been challenging.
Of course, when you think about it, most socialization in the real world happens with the people you work with or the people you live with. Before marriage and kids, it's a lot easier. You have more freedom to pick up and go. After kids it gets more challenging, especially with a stay at home parent involved. For that at home parent a majority of socialization happens at home. They expand that to include the parents they have play dates with and things like that. For many moms, that means only the family and the occasional night out with the friends. Isn't it normal and healthy for kids to learn to socialize well with their families? More importantly, homeschool families tend to spend more quality time with their families than families with children in school. There's nothing wrong with my kids spending a lot of time as a family. In truth, I think it's healthier for them in many ways.
As for the time my kids spend with their friends, they all get a lot more quality out of their time together than the kids in school do. School, as I was told numerous times by my teachers when I was in school, is not for socializing. Looking back, my quality time with friends in school was little more than thirty minutes at lunch and however long we could carve out before school. There were hang outs after school, but I'm noticing less and less kids hang out after school due to increasing homework. As a result, my kids actually spend more time with their friends than most kids in school do. Yes, some of them are kids they only see once or twice at the park, but they're learning social skills from it. Most of the kids they get to spend time with are regulars in their lives. The regular cast sometimes changes, but over all, they're still the same general crew.
On top of that, my kids spend a lot of time together. It means they have to find ways to get along. It means they're learning to handle people they see a good deal of. It should be a good for their future relationships. After all, they have to learn to get along with people they see a lot of and can't easily get away from. They have to learn to stick with it and work it out.
I really am doing a service to my kids. I'm helping them learn to socialize like adults. After all, when do adults socialize in the false setting of public schools. It's a chance for my kids to see the way things work in the adult world. They get to socialize like adults do. They see their friends on a basis that isn't perfectly regular. They socialize with kids older and younger than them, both boys and girls. Of course, you get mixed genders in school, but with such a big selection of kids their age it's easy to keep with your own gender. It's just more realistic that way.
All of this has actually gotten me feeling better about the way my kids socialize. I'm feeling pretty confident. Funny how one little question can get you thinking!
No comments:
Post a Comment