Goodbye, Baxty Bunny

I got some sad news for our family today. Our rabbit had been under the care of friends of ours for a while now until we could pay the pet deposit for our apartment. We were assured that if there were any changes, we would be sure to be notified. I felt bad leaving our dear, sweet, beloved pet in the care of another person, but it was what we had to do. We wanted to be able to do what was best for our pets, so we did what we had to. We had already considered releasing him back to the wild. He'd gotten pretty big and he'd do well on his own. However, he was happy with us, so we weren't quite ready to do that. We were taking our time to make our decision.

The first friend we left him in the care of was allergic to rabbits. She wanted to give it a try for us, see if she could keep him, but her allergies got too bad. I completely understand that! We found another home for him as quickly as possible. I'm incredibly grateful that our friend was able to take him for so long! It allowed us a chance to find another friend who was happy to take him for as long as we needed. I was thrilled about that! The kids loved it too because he'd be close by. It wouldn't be long before we moved him back. It was all going to work out before terribly long. Our tax return would be in. The pet deposit would be paid. We'd move everyone in before long.

Unfortunately, that's not how things turned out. The friend we'd given care of our rabbit too went away for training. We weren't able to really visit or anything. He'd given the care of all of his animals and our rabbit to his roommate. Unknown to any of us, his roommate decided to release the rabbit to the wild again. None of us had so much as a chance to say goodbye. I was given the hard situation of having to explain to the kids that their friend was gone.

Of course, they were upset. It wasn't fair that their rabbit was just taken from them like that. It was coming down to that anyway. We had found a home for him. He could be released to the wild where there were plenty of other rabbits of his kind around. It would be a happy place for him, a place where he could feel like he was home. Given that we'd heard there were tons of other bunnies, I'd like to think he'd be safe there. It would be a great space for him. My daughter and I had talked about this the same day we found out and she decided she'd be okay with that, as long as she could be there to see him off and he chose to go on his own. It was pretty well decided, but now she's angry and blames me. She thinks I knew all along, which was why I had asked her if we could release him to the wild again.

This isn't the first time she's had to deal with animals she didn't get a chance to say goodbye to, but this was perhaps one of the worst. Her dog ran away from home and disappeared. My dog was let out by the neighbors and was never tracked down. He was a beautiful dog, so it wouldn't be surprising if someone decided to keep him if he'd managed to slip his collar again. We had one cat mysteriously get out and disappeared, though I think my ex had something to do with that one and my daughter's dog as well. Our snake was stolen by a friend we'd given care to at the end of my last pregnancy, the same friend we'd given two of our cats to only to find out she got rid of them a week later. She wanted those cats so badly and I thought they'd be happier; otherwise I'd never have given them to her. However, none were as crushing as my daughter's cat, Pookah. She loved that cat more than anything else. Her father decided the cat was too crazy for his liking, though I don't see what was so extreme about her behavior. One morning, without any of us knowing, he took the cat and let her go in the wild, far away from the house. He and I had talked about getting rid of her, but putting her out where the coyotes would get her and she wouldn't likely find food was a bit extreme. My daughter was heartbroken. It was hard to have to give her this news again.

I have to say, I'm really frustrated with all of this. At the very least it would have been nice if we would have known what happened before it did. It would have been nice for the kids to get a chance to say goodbye. It would have been nice to have had the chance to take the bunny and release him ourselves. Unfortunately, we didn't get the chance. I'm going to have to make it up to the kids somehow. I'm just not sure how I feel about getting them another pet.

Homeschool and Socialization

There was a discussion started in the local homeschool e-mail group that really got me thinking. One of the parents put their child in school because of a worry the child wouldn't get a lot of socialization. The results were less than satisfactory, so they wanted to get some advice from other homeschool parents. It really got me thinking. What about my kids and their socialization?

Back this past fall we were making a good start. We went to a homeschool field trip. Then we made plans to join the co-op. We made connections with other homeschool families. I was really feeling good about this whole homeschool thing. My kids would get so much socialization they would be glad to spend a quiet day at home.

Of course, that's not what happened. We stopped having the money to go on trips. We didn't have the money to register for the co-op. Financial times have been hard on everyone. I staryed to wonder if I wad failing my kids. They needed to get out and socialize more!

This, as always, got me thinking about socialization in homeschool families. I keep hearing about these homeschool families that are never home. Their kids are involved in so many activities that they never really have any down time. That could never be my family. Not only do I have more to do than shuttle my kids around from one activity to the next, but, let's face it, my family doesn't have that kind of money. We live below the poverty line. We don't have the money for sports, classes and all kinds of field trips. That kind of homeschooling is for people with money. We're just not that kind of family.

I'm not saying my kids don't get out and don't have friends. They do go out. They do have friends. They just don't get to see them every day like kids in school do. We try and plan one play date every week, but that can be tough when everyone has such busy lives and when their friends don't always live close by. It should be easier now that the weather is nicer and it getd dark a little later. There's more of a chance of making friends at the park. It's especially hard when some of their friends go to school and just don't have the time to hang out with other friends. They see their school friends at school and that's about it. It's been challenging.

Of course, when you think about it, most socialization in the real world happens with the people you work with or the people you live with. Before marriage and kids, it's a lot easier. You have more freedom to pick up and go. After kids it gets more challenging, especially with a stay at home parent involved. For that at home parent a majority of socialization happens at home. They expand that to include the parents they have play dates with and things like that. For many moms, that means only the family and the occasional night out with the friends. Isn't it normal and healthy for kids to learn to socialize well with their families? More importantly, homeschool families tend to spend more quality time with their families than families with children in school. There's nothing wrong with my kids spending a lot of time as a family. In truth, I think it's healthier for them in many ways.

As for the time my kids spend with their friends, they all get a lot more quality out of their time together than the kids in school do. School, as I was told numerous times by my teachers when I was in school, is not for socializing. Looking back, my quality time with friends in school was little more than thirty minutes at lunch and however long we could carve out before school. There were hang outs after school, but I'm noticing less and less kids hang out after school due to increasing homework. As a result, my kids actually spend more time with their friends than most kids in school do. Yes, some of them are kids they only see once or twice at the park, but they're learning social skills from it. Most of the kids they get to spend time with are regulars in their lives. The regular cast sometimes changes, but over all, they're still the same general crew.

On top of that, my kids spend a lot of time together. It means they have to find ways to get along. It means they're learning to handle people they see a good deal of. It should be a good for their future relationships. After all, they have to learn to get along with people they see a lot of and can't easily get away from. They have to learn to stick with it and work it out.

I really am doing a service to my kids. I'm helping them learn to socialize like adults. After all, when do adults socialize in the false setting of public schools. It's a chance for my kids to see the way things work in the adult world. They get to socialize like adults do. They see their friends on a basis that isn't perfectly regular. They socialize with kids older and younger than them, both boys and girls. Of course, you get mixed genders in school, but with such a big selection of kids their age it's easy to keep with your own gender. It's just more realistic that way.

All of this has actually gotten me feeling better about the way my kids socialize. I'm feeling pretty confident. Funny how one little question can get you thinking!

When Left to Their Own Devices

The other day I just let the kids do their own things. I just wanted to see what they would do if I let them make all the choices. It would be an interesting experiment.

Left to do his own thing, my older son decided he didn't need to get get dresses. He just wanted to be in his pull-up all day. He was pretty good about using the toilet, but he thought dressing like a big boy was too much effort. He took a nap on his own. The thing he wanted to do more than anything else was make another of his mosaics.

My daughter decided to clean the house. She swept the floors. She wiped down the table. She even asked if she could do the dishes. I had no idea what got into her! She mentioned hearing it was on my to do list, and she wanted to help. She's getting so grown up and responsible. At the end of the day we started her sewing project. We didn't get far, but it was nice to start it.

Of course, the littlest one always does his own thing. His favorite things right now are pillows. He likes to dive into them and toss them around the room. Next to that it's talking on his toy phone. He's also a fan of climbing on and off the new couches, since they're just the right height for him. He might just start putting himself down for naps on the couch!

I think we may try this more often. It was a pretty relaxed day. The kids were happier than they've been in a while. It was kind of fun to see them make their own choices without an ounce of guidance! I think we might just have to take one day every week a day where the kids make the plans. As long as they're reasonable, it could be fun!

Arts and Crafts: Sticker Mosaics

Once again we're back to the arts and crafts.  Yesterday's project was something fun, something that was really picked up with my middle child in mind.  Being that he's almost four, it's hard to figure out what kinds of crafts will be fun for him, but not so incredibly messy that I'll have a headache from all the clean up.  Thankfully, the craft store came in handy, and not even something planned, just something my daughter and I happened to stumble upon.

My son had his first real craft project of his own.  It was a sticker mosaic kit for kids just his age.  Each of the mosaic cards had pictures of animals.  I let him pick out his first one and we were off.  These kits are fairly simple.  They have foam stickers in different colors and shapes.  All my son had to do was match up the shape and color outline and place the right sticker on it.  It seems easy enough, right?  But it came with it's own moments of frustration until he got it.  My son's got this great habit of saying "I can't know it" when you ask him something he doesn't feel like telling you.  It meant the early on portion was a little frustrating.

Soon enough he got it and we were off.  He was telling me all the colors and all the shapes like a pro!  Of course, with only three shapes (circle, square, and triangle) it wasn't too much of a challenge, but with all the shapes and colors combined with the ability to put the shape in the right orientation on the right spot, he had a lot going on.  It took him a while to do the first one, but for a kid his age, he virtually sped through it!  It seemed like we were done in no time!  Of course, I know my daughter would have gotten through it faster, but he did pretty good for his age!

Much to my surprise, he turned out to have much more patience than I expected!  As soon as he was done with the first one (he chose the bird), he wanted to jump right in and do the second!  Who am I to resist a kid who's on a roll?  Of course, we got right to it!

Now, I have to admit, jumping right into another one was a bad idea.  Even though he's almost four, he doesn't have infinite patience.  He tends to get bored and a little chaotic.  He doesn't pay the most attention to what he's doing.  As a result, I got a bit frustrated by the time we were a third of the way through and I voted we take a break.  Besides, it was after dinner and getting late.  I figured there was every chance he wasn't going to finish it, but he was rather insistent.  He wanted to do it!  He went and played again and then came back refreshed!  I was a little afraid he'd want to finish them all in one night!  Of course, by the time he was done he needed to get ready for bed, so I managed to luck out on that one.  He had to wait and finish them another day!  Hopefully he'll give it a couple days before he picks it up again because I don't want to run out of things to do!  Those craft kits aren't super expensive, but they can add up quickly when you're blowing through them so fast!  Maybe tomorrow we'll be on to some play-doh or something.

So my daughter wouldn't get left out, I got her one as well, though I'm not so much of a fan of the ones for older kids.  I'd rather get the stuff to make a real mosaic.  Even so, she found the one she considered perfect, a sticker mosaic of a mermaid.  If you feel you may die of shock at the price on Amazon, they were actually much cheaper at the craft store, less than half the price.  The ones they have for the older kids use numbers matched to an image of the stickers on the box.  It's actually a pretty good set-up, so it wasn't too bad.  Most importantly, my daughter loved doing it.  She sat and worked on it with my partner, which she liked even better because he's not often able to be involved in our homeschooling efforts.  She's really big on having everyone involved when we're doing homeschooling, whether it's family, friends, house-mates, guests, or even a friend crashing on our couch for a few days.  It doesn't matter who they are, if they're a part of her life and happen to be around when we're working on something she wants them to be involved.  She particularly likes sitting down and coloring in her coloring book with my partner.  While I was pregnant with the littlest, she and my partner colored pictures for me from her book that they put up on either side of the bed, talk about one loved mama!

Once all the mosaics were finished they each got to put them up in the house.  Since all the kits come with little stick-on hangers, we were able to put them up with no more than a tack.  Originally the plan was that they were going to put them up in their rooms, but that plan went out the window when my son finished his and the baby was sleeping in his room.  He was very determined that his mosaic would go up right away, just like his sister's.  He was so determined that when he finished the bird he found just the right place for it, in our living room next to the door.

I have to admit, I felt a little bad when my daughter saw us hanging up my older son's mosaic.  She poked her head out of her room, where here mosaic was put up prominently in the entry way.  She then asked, "Is his mosaic in the living room and mine's not because his is more awesome than mine?"  We explained to her the situation and why we couldn't put her brother's in his room and she seemed pretty satisfied.  She was extra proud of herself when my partner told her that her brother has a whole bunch of them to put around all over, but she's only got one, which makes it extra special.  Hers was also glittery and has a whole lot more stickers, which makes it extra awesome.  On top of that, it's in just the right spot that everyone who comes in the room can see it just as they walk in.  What better way could she have to show off to all of her friends?  Honestly, what I didn't tell her was that I loved where hers is hanging because I think the beautiful girlish style to it is a perfect accent to her room and maybe we need to think about getting her some more really feminine stuff for her room.  We're not going to paint or anything, so we might as well give her a really pretty decorations in her room to make it feminine in there.  She's growing up fast too, so letting her have a little bit of style to her room, some of her own artwork, and maybe a nice lamp or something will help her room have less of a barren look and prevent it from looking too much like a little kid's room.    As much as I don't want to embrace the idea of her growing up, it's nice to see her growing up and developing her own sense of style.

I have to say, looking at the pictures it almost looks like no one has any fun during craft time at our house!  You always see pictures of families smiling and laughing while doing crafts together.  I've come to realize that's not true, but I understand why they like to portray it that way.  I can't imagine pictures of kids and adults paying rapt attention to what they're doing inspires people to buy their products, even though it's definitely incentive for me!  Something about seeing kids sitting quietly and concentrating seems like an inspiration in itself!  At least they're quiet, busy, and working their whole brain to come up with an end result!  I have to admit, I like seeing that look of attention and concentration on my kids' faces more than I like see them smile, not because I don't like seeing them happy.  I do!  I guess I just can't explain how much joy it brings me to see them doing something they can be so thoroughly involved in.  Their smiles are beautiful, but I find a whole different beauty in seeing them so focused and intent on what they're doing.


So, they now all have their mosaics up, decorating the home.  There's a mermaid in my daughter's room, a kitty in the kitchen, and a bird welcoming our guests to our living room.  It's nice to have their artwork displayed.  It's nice to be able to show off some of what they've done.  I never imagined enjoying that kind of art up on my walls, but here I am!  I can't wait to have more all over the house!  My son has three more mosaics to do.  Then we've got a set of magnets for them to paint.  Those will likely go up on the refrigerator.  The link isn't for the exact product, but we got a generic craft store brand  I got some stained glass window hanging projects for them to do and put up in the windows.  This isn't the same set, but they're the same kind of fill and bake kind of set, same brand too.  Ours are just singles as supposed to sets and were exceedingly cheap at the craft store.  We ended up picking up one of each.  It's going to be a challenge with an almost four-year-old in the mix, but I think we can handle it!  My windows need decorating!  I'm really looking forward to all the various arts and crafts projects I can get going around here.  There are so many options!  I think once we're a bit more settled and my daughter has some privacy in her room we might have to work on some things she can make to decorate her room!  I'm getting excited already!

Arts and Crafts: Painting a Water Bottle

I know, I know.  It's been a while since I've updated anything.  Shame on me...  Our family has been pretty busy.  Trying to keep busy has meant running out of time to do anything else, like updating my blogs.  However, I've got more to write about!

I've been meaning to write about my daughter's most recent art project.  We went shopping to find some fun projects, since we haven't been including a lot of arts with our homeschooling.  Crayola has a whole bunch of arts and crafts stuff on the market, which has really inspired my daughter to focus on some art projects!

Now talking my daughter into art is like trying to talk a two-year-old into eating candy.  She keeps telling me she wants to grow up to be an artist, but she hasn't done much with arts.  I'd love to get her into art classes, but they're a bit out of our price range right now.  Instead, we've started looking at projects we could do at home, and the current trend in her interests happens to be painting.

Our first big project was painting a water bottle.  It's one of the Crayola Pop Art Pixies projects.  While normally I don't buy into trendy things, I do like some of the projects they've got.  The particular character this was designed for is an environmentalist.  She's also got another project that's little herb planters.  They have a huge variety of projects, which I think is wonderful!  There's really some good ideas started.

Not having any newspaper to put down, we used one of the shopping bags we haven't yet taken to recycle.  Before we put down the bottle on the bag, my daughter picked out all of her favorite stencils from the bunch and sticking them on just the way she wanted them.  She needed some help getting the first couple of them on smoothly, but I have to admit, getting stickers on without bubbles isn't exactly the easiest of things.  It was nice.  It turned into a project we could work on together.

Watching her with the paint was an exercise in releasing my own sense of perfection.  She'd get too much paint on the brush and it would start to run a bit making some of the colors blend a little.  She wouldn't get enough paint on the brush or wouldn't get the water out enough, so the paint would come out thin and runny another time.  I spent my whole time looking at it and having to remind myself that this project didn't have to be perfect in my eyes.  That's the beauty of art.  I could think the end project looked horrible, but the truth is, if she thought it was beautiful, then it was.  It really opened my eyes to view it with a lack of perfectionism, something I wasn't even able to do as a child.  That's why I never really got much into painting.  I couldn't paint the way I envisioned it, so I gave up.

When all was said and done there were all kinds of crazy blended shapes and the whole thing was painted beautifully.  She added some squiggly waves down a the bottom and continued to work away until there wasn't much more room left to paint.  We decided to set the bottle aside and let it dry.  My daughter wanted to sit there and watch it dry because she was so excited, but we decided to find something else for her to do.  Thankfully it didn't take long at all to dry!

Once it was dry we peeled off the stencils.  I'd advise for anyone who gets these kits to peel the stencils off while the paint is still wet, but I didn't even think of that.  We lost some of the detail when the stencils came off because the paint wanted to peel off all as one.  The two of us worked together to fix some of the stuff that peeled off and then I painted her name and the date on the bottle, that way she would be certain to remember when she did her first big painting project.  We waited again for it to dry.

That bottle has become a total environment saver!  She's used that bottle for every drink she's had since she's made it.  Because it's designed for travel she'll be able to bring it with her as well.  She's able to use it both at the house and on the road.  It's even more perfect because she's able to bring around something she's proud of, an incredible piece of art!

The one thing about this that is disappointing is the lack of art projects for boys!  It seems many of the arts and crafts projects on the market are designed for girls.  This has me frustrated over that whole gender issue again.  Why is it that girls are supposed to be interested in arts and crafts, but boys aren't?  With the number of art programs remaining in public schools, I have to wonder how many boys aren't getting any exposure to art at all!  It's a little disappointing to think of all the boys that might be missing out because they don't market these projects for boys as well.