They Joys of a Local Meat Market

Just the other day a friend of mine finally dragged me to the local meat market.  She insisted that the meat packets you could buy there were far less expensive than buying the meat at the local grocery store.  The cuts of meat would be better and local meat markets are known for having meat from local suppliers.  That appealed to my desire to buy local in the first place.

For various reasons, getting down to the meat market just didn't work out.  We kept meaning to go, but all the good intentions in the world got us nowhere.  It's nice to mean to do something, but until you actually do it, it's just out there in space.  Strange how living closer actually meant doing less of what we said we were going to do.  I guess things were just meant to work out that way.

Finally arriving at the meat market I was overwhelmed by their selection.  I'd never bought my meat at a meat market before so the idea was kind of shocking to me.  There were lists and lists of meat packages offered and a whole window full of meat available to order.  There were so many possible selections it was dizzying!

Looking over the lists I saw one problem right away.  Every single option on the list included a good share of pork.  I can understand this as pork is cheap.  Putting a lot of cheap meat in the package deals means allowing for a larger quantity at a lower cost.  Let's face it, beef is expensive, and the only chicken they really seem to do there is quarters and whole, so that doesn't leave a lot of options.  Many Americans I know have a very pork-heavy diet.  Ham, sausage, and hot dogs make up a large component of many families' diets that I know of.  Bacon and pork chops are also pretty popular.

Now, I know there are a lot of reasons not to eat pork out there.  For me it all just started because I didn't like it all that much.  As I got older and started studying medieval history more I decided I didn't want to eat an animal that had been used by so many cultures as a garbage disposal.  When my littlest was born he made all sorts of little grunting pig sounds instead of crying, so I kept calling him my little piggy.  This, of course, made it that much harder to eat pork.  We've done a lot of work with the Native American concept of totem animals in this house.  We discovered my daughter has rabbit on her totem, so no rabbit stew for us!  I wasn't surprised because she used to kick like a rabbit before she was born and when she was very small.  She had some serious leg strength!  My younger son has some kind of cat, though I forget which.  I believe it was a lynx, but I might be wrong.  I never put much thought into it because we don't exactly eat cat in this house.  My littlest was determined to be boar, so that's a close relative to pig.  In Native American tradition it is considered in poor taste to eat your totem animal, so we've planned our diet accordingly.  Chesh breaks the rules on pork a good deal because he loves it, and we're not terribly strict, but we try to keep the pork down so the little one won't eat it, at least not until he's old enough to make that decision on his own.  For all we know he may grow up to decide he doesn't really care about the whole totem idea, or maybe he thinks it's not disrespectful to eat his totem animal.  No matter how you look at it, we have a long list of reasons for keeping the pork in this house pretty minimal.  Of course the older kids do like to have ham sandwiches now and again!

So, going to the meat market meant some careful figuring out so we wouldn't end up with pork that wouldn't be eaten.  We're considering our options for the future, both in splitting our arrangement with another family so we can trade for things we'll actually use or buying our meat by the item versus by the pack.

Going to the meat market actually saved us a good deal of money, in some ways.  The truth is we spent the same amount as we normally would on meat every month.  The difference is we got a whole lot more meat, and we got a better selection for each of the meats we've gotten.  It's nice to know we've got a local place to pick up good quality beef, save ourselves some money, and buy locally.  There's nothing like stretching our food budget even farther!

I think the best part of shopping at a meat market is having the ability to get what I want and not rely on what I've got the availability to get.  I don't have to worry about a store's selection.  I can go in and tell them exactly what I want.  If I feel like cooking a roast, I know I'll have several options instead of the three or four cuts of meat of one or two varieties.  Often times that ends with more meat than we can use, or not enough to feed the family.  True, chicken doesn't come with many choices, but we don't tend to eat a lot of chicken.  We tend to be more of a turkey family when it comes to poultry.  It's nice to go in with my shopping list and tell them what kinds of meat I need for my weekly or monthly shopping instead of having to look and hope they have something that works with what I want to make, or to plan my bigger roasts and things on the fly based on what they have available.

I have a feeling this local meat market is really going to do well for us.  I'm glad we've got one available.  Now I just need to start planning to take advantage of that!

Energy Saver: Plastic Window Insulation

Our current home is drafty.  From what I've heard, most trailers are.  We don't have a central heater or anything, so we're kind of reliant on electric heaters.  From what we've seen, everyone pretty much is.  I suppose in some ways we're doing better for the environment because our energy provider uses 100% green energy, but we'd still like to conserve a bit more.  There's no point in taking up resources we don't need, even if it is green energy.

To combat the draft, I remembered my aunt using some plastic window insulation stuff on her windows.  I don't know if she still bothers with it now since she owns her own home and may have some pretty decent windows, but I'd still remembered it.  When our houses here in Texas have been so incredibly drafty I'd often thought about looking it up, but I never did.  It never got cold enough to make a difference in the house, so I figured a bit of a cool draft wouldn't hurt anyone.

Things changed when we moved into this little trailer.  We originally ordered two heaters for our house. Our Lasko heater was just fine. It really cooks even the largest room in our house. The Lasko Stanley wasn't as helpful. It arrived with a broken fan so we had to replace it (which wonderfully came pretty quick!)  Thankfully that one cooks too, so we've got the advantage of keeping warm.  Unfortunately, the drafts can make things challenging.  The heaters have been constantly running since we got them to keep the place a tolerable temperature.  In hopes of saving electricity, we decided to look into that plastic stuff.

We decided on the Duck Brand Window Insulation Kit.  It was inexpensive and functional.  I was a little worried about using such a thin plastic with kids in the house, but I thought it would be worth a shot.  We ordered enough kits to deal with all our windows and hoped for the best.

When the kits arrived we went to work.  We started in the kid's room.  The double sided tape was a great idea, but we worried since there was supposed to be an inch left on each edge around the perimeter of the window.  However, the stuff was great.  Just insulating one window made a huge difference.  Given there are four windows in the kids' room, we could only imagine how great it would be when we got them all done!  We decided to put tape down on the outside edge of the windows as well.  The plastic was getting pulled up by the kids as we expected, so it wasn't going to be much help.  We also found that the littlest one likes to puncture it with pens, pencils, his fingers.  One of them pretty quickly got a pretty decent sized rip.  It's obviously not an ideal solution with kids and something sturdier would probably have been a better option, but they were inexpensive, so it's not like we wasted a lot of money.  That and repairing the one spot that needs repair isn't going to be that big of a deal.  There was some extra plastic from the edge so we're figuring we'll fashion a patch and that will be good enough.  They look pretty clear, so it's almost as though there's nothing over the window at all, or would look that way if we weren't going to need to patch the one.  I think this would be great for anyone who wants a subtle window insulation that's pretty clear.  Once you hit it with the hair dryer to "shrink wrap" it, it looks pretty sharp!

Next year we might start looking into more expensive solutions, like thermal curtains.  We'll have to save up for them since they are so expensive, but they keep in cool air in the summer and warm air in the winter, so they're a year-round benefit.  They should save us enough money to be worth it, and there's nothing like curtains to make a place feel more like home!  Combine that with these simple window kits and we should be able to minimize the use of our little electric heaters!  Now all we need is a place we can throw some solar panels up on the roof and we'll have incredible efficiency!  Of course, that's not really an option until we own our own place.

Simple things, like sweaters, warm blankets, slippers, and insulation can make a huge difference in energy usage through the winter months.  Common problems such as drafts aren't such a big deal when you've got an option to dress a little warmer.  Slippers keep feet from feeling the effects of drafts and from cold tile and wood floors.  Blankets can be pulled over a lap while sitting in front of the television or working with a project.  Sweaters can always be thrown on if there's a chill in the house.  As much as I prefer the ability to have my house so warm I can sit around in a short sleeved shirt and barefoot all winter, it's not practical unless you have the luxury of sitting by a fire all winter long or don't mind spending a fortune to heat your home.  It's better to dress like it's winter outside!

It may not seem like much to keep temperatures low in the winter, better insulate the house, and dress a little warmer, but these little things can make a huge impact on your energy bill.  Just remember, the more you have to work to heat your house, the more energy you expend.  This is both costly for your wallet, and the environment (unless you use 100% green energy like we're privileged to do...)

How I Miss Nice Weather and How Fast They Grow

This week we had some pretty nice weather.  It got down to the 80's, which meant we were able to open the windows and let in some fresh air.  It was nice not to need the air conditioning running all day.  Hopefully that will save us some money.  It's not easy living in a state where air conditioning is required in order to live or you'll get sick from the heat.  This week it's going to be back up to the 90's, which is better than it was through most of the summer.  Yes, the weather is finally turning towards something nicer.

As the weather changed we decided it was time to sort through old clothes.  The boys will probably both need a new winter wardrobe.  My older boy has pretty much outgrown all of his clothes.  It's not that he's too wide in the middle.  Actually, clothes that fit him around the middle are too short on him.  It's that everything is too short.  My younger one will probably be set for another few months, but he's starting to not fit his pants around the middle and his shirts don't want to go over his head.  Since he's been born that's been a sign that he's about to shoot up like a weed, and if he does that he probably isn't going to fit anything in length much longer either.  Thankfully we can still manage on shorts and t-shirts for a while longer.  I guess that's the good thing about Texas!  The warm weather means summer clothes really last.

The whole thing has me thinking about the weather.  I love the weather back home.  This time of year we would soon have lessons on why the fall leaves change and all of that.  Things would be getting cooler and we would have to start planning to bundle everyone up for the cold.  This time of year is filled with shopping for winter jackets and snow boots and knitting mittens, scarves, and hats.  We might even be in the weather for long pants, sweaters, and light jackets.  My daughter would probably want tights with some of her skirts.  My littlest and I would be starting the fight over whether or not he has to wear a hat.  He doesn't seem to think there's a need.  I, on the other hand, would realize that his ultra-fine baby hair isn't going to do much to keep his head warm and he needs something to make up for that.

It was a little sad going through the boy's things.  I'd forgotten how much of the clothes I had in a 2T I'd already given away to a friend of mine whose son grew into them sooner than mine did.  We're going to have to start carving out a little bit of money every month to start getting him some new clothes a little at a time.  Thankfully there are plenty of places with low cost clothing for a toddler his size.  I hate thinking about the new size he'll be in.  2T typically fits a toddler at age two.  That means he's no longer my baby and is now considered a toddler.  He's almost two, which seems nearly impossible!  It doesn't seem like it's been so long since he was born.  How incredibly fast time has flown this year.

My older son is going to be jumping into boys clothes this year.  Things sized at x-small are just the right length.  I know I could still shop for him in the toddler section and look for things that are 5T, but the only reason to truly hold on to that is to attempt to hold on to his youth.  I keep wanting to think that he's still a toddler, but he's a preschooler.  He's taking an interest in reading.  He loves super heroes and dinosaurs.  Pokemon and Transformers are favorites of his.  He's even starting to get interested in sports.  He's no longer happy with the simple things that used to please him.  He's growing up before I know it!  He's growing to match in size too!  He's jumped from a 3T being perfect in size to a 4T being a little too short in all of a year!  It's good to see him growing.  Maybe he won't be the shortest boy in his classes at the co-op this year after all!

Then there's my daughter.  I can't call her my little girl anymore.  She's much too big for that.  Thankfully, she's got enough in hand-me-downs and in clothing from Marrok's mom to last her through the year.  My only problem is going to be in keeping her in shorts and pants for the homeschool co-op.  She's got PE first thing when we get there, so she'll need to be wearing something suitable.  You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get her to dress warm when it's cold out!  She'd prefer to wear skirts and dresses all the time, even better if they're sleeveless.  She's really starting to develop her own sense of style, and it's a lot more feminine and girly than I could ever imagine any child of mine being!  Every day it seems like she's just more and more adult, and she's only eight!  I can't help but think she'll be all grown up before I know it.

In all of this, I don't think I would have taken the time to reflect if the weather hadn't started to turn already, even though it's turning back before we know it.  I'm really homesick already.  I wish I could be looking forward fall leaves and snow this year, but I know that's not going to happen.  I don't have very many options for that in Texas.  Even so, as the weather turns cool, I know I'll at least be able to enjoy taking my children to the park.  The kids and I can enjoy going for walks.  It will be nice to get outside.  I can't wait until we can throw open the windows and let the cool air in instead of spending a fortune in electricity to keep the house a bearable temperature.  I can't wait until things start feeling a little bit nicer.  Now if only that could speed up and my kids could slow down on growing for a little while!

Changing Schedules

Over the summer most school kids go through the change.  Lack of school means later nights and sleeping in.  They go from a regular routine of school every day to a chaotic time of freedom.  Some kids go to summer camp, but for most, it's just lazy days of summer where they can play, rest, and do whatever they want.

For homeschool kids it's a little different.  There isn't necessarily a rigid school schedule, so summer creates less of a break.  Some parents even continue homeschooling straight through the summer, something I'd thought about time and time again.  In Texas summer is too hot to enjoy, so we might as well just take our break during cooler weather.  It would only make sense.  However, the spring, summer, and fall season transitions in and out of the school year don't have much impact on our family most years.

This year things are different.  We've got someone new living in our house.  His work schedule and my partner's work schedule conflict just a little, and since he doesn't drive, that leaves me to play taxi.  It's only going to get more complicated when the kids start the homeschool co-op in the fall.  I feel like my lie is falling into a predictable schedule, something I'm not used to with my chaotic, free life.  I'm used to coming and going as I please and not holding to any real routine.  This is a huge change for us, especially as it means changing nap times and bed times.

First thing in the morning my partner gets up with our friend and drives him to work.  When he comes home he falls back into bed and sleeps for a while longer.  I sneak out of bed, get up with the kids and somewhat supervise breakfast while checking my e-mail for any work-related information.  I generally hop on Facebook, the evil that it is, chat with a friend for a while, post some kind of update about what's going on that morning, and get to work on something or another.  Lately I've been trying to read as much as I can about homeschooling, pick books I want to read once I get a steady income coming in, and things of that nature.  It's summer time, so I can get away with that.  Otherwise it will be sitting, knitting in lap, while I go over lessons with the kids, have arts and crafts time, whatever is on the schedule for the day.  Lunch time hits and we eat, if I can wrangle the kids to the table to sit down that long, and my partner plays video games for a while before getting ready for work.  Halo Reach is a particular favorite of his right now.  After lunch we try and relax for a bit before it's time to get on the move.  This is when the baby gets his nap in for the day.  About 2pm we start the process of getting everyone on the move.  There's a baby to change, kids to get dressed, and my older son needs to hit the potty before we hit the road.  Normally my kids don't bother to get dressed before noon.  I try to encourage it, but they enjoy being able to go through the morning in their pajamas.  I see no reason to force them into something different. Then we hit the road around 3pm so I can take my partner to work and pick up my dear friend from his job.  The rest of the afternoon is play time for the kids while I try to get something done.  Over the summer, this is the ideal time for me to sit, relax and knit, or work on my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo.  Once we start up with homeschooling again, this is probably going to be the only time of day I have to write my articles for work, blog, and do whatever else comes to mind.  I've got an idea percolating for NaNoWriMo in November, and that will probably take up most of my afternoon relaxation time for the month.  Of course, I'll only have a couple hours since dinner needs to be on the table by 7pm, kids in bed by 9, which is about the time my darling friend watches the kids for me so I can pick up my partner from work at 10.  This schedule, of course, changes.  I have dance classes on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Rehearsals and events on weekends mix things up too.  However, we're falling into a routine, which is unusual for me.

I know time will be even more at a premium when fall comes around.  All three of my children are taking part in the homeschool co-op this year.  There's a wonderful local group called Open Minds.  I've been looking into them for nearly a year now, and finally I've gotten off my tail to make the enrollment deadline.  They'll be in classes from 9am to noon every Tuesday and Thursday.  It will be a wonderful way for the kids to connect with children their own age and learn while they're at it.  I have a feeling this will make our lives a whole lot happier.  It's hard being a homeschooling kid when all your friends go to school!

With our new routine we've learned a few things.  First, my kids need to get to bed earlier.  They spend too much of their time looking like zombies with an unpleasant attitude to match.  The older too need to stop taking regular naps during the day, no matter how much they need it, because they don't sleep at night, and, honestly, once the homeschool co-op starts up, they won't have time for a nap between getting home and driving everyone to and from work.  At least the baby will get his nap, but he cheats.  He sleeps in the car.  I need to start planning good hearty breakfasts, and lunches that can be made on the fly.  I'm going to need to come up with good options for dinner too.  We're going to have to work on getting an easy to work with routine going, that also includes plenty of time to keep after my house, something we're all slacking off on.

Of course, in order to do that we're really going to have to look into our options for storage.  We don't have much storage space.  No matter how much we take to Goodwill, we're still going to have stuff that needs to be stored.  I'm going to have to save up for dressers for the adults.  I need to pick up some toy storage units for the kids.  We need to make this house look more like, well, a home and not just a storage place that people live in.  Eventually I'd even like to get some of my own posters for the wall!

It's Summer Time!

So, we've been away for a while!  It's summer, and that happens.  We're doing all kinds of crazy things and life is being kind of chaotic.  We've had a lot happen!

So, I don't know where I was at when I last wrote (and I'm feeling a bit too lazy to look!) but a lot has happened.  It's been quite the adventure for the whole family.  There's been some good, some bad, and some just plain crazy.  We're making the best of it all, and it's made for some interesting times.

On May 1st we had a fire at the house.  We're still not aware of how it started, but the porch lit up and though we tried to put it out, it ended up getting out of control and the fire department had to be called.  The kids got to watch the front porch get hacked up with axes and a chain saw as they tried to get under the cement to get at the flames.  Thankfully the damage wasn't so bad, so we're still able to live in our apartment.

This is when we found out we had the landlords from...well...somewhere not nice.  Our front doorknob started falling off every time we tried to use the front door.  They tried to look for a way to put the fire damages on our renter's insurance, which was illegal.  When we caught on they tried to tell us the fire was our fault and we had to pay out of pocket for the damages.  They refused to let us see the fire marshal's report, which told us something shady was going on.  It took them over a month to fix our door knob.  The damages from the fire still aren't fixed.  In all of this, they decided they were going to sell the building.

Just after all of this went on our air conditioner went out.  Now, in other areas of the world, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but in a house that was in the high nineties all day long, that's kind of a big deal.  The baby had a horrible heat rash that was starting to consume his whole body, so we had to seek refuge at friends' houses so we wouldn't all be sick from the heat.  The most they could offer us was to move into the apartment next door, but for all that work we were going to get no compensation and needed to waste a lot of time and effort that we really couldn't expend at the time.  It would mean transferring our utilities and everything as well.   It would just be a lot of hassle and we opted to wait until they could fix it.

So, after all of that, the building was sold.  Wouldn't you know it?  The door knob was fixed the day it was sold.  The air conditioner was fixed in the next couple of days.  It's been nearly a month and the fire damage is getting fixed now too.  It's all going to look even better because we're getting a new coat of paint too.  I'm actually pleased with this new landlord.

That's kind of been our early summer, and part of the reason we've been so busy.  Hopefully we'll be back on track before summer is out!

The Saga of the Shiny Sink

As I mentioned before, it was my friend The Artsy Eclectic over at Otherwise Quite Good that first told me about FlyLady.  I have to admit, when I first heard the name I couldn't think past the bugs.  Why would anyone chose a name like that?  I thought clean homes weren't supposed to get flies!

It took me a good long while to look into it.  I'd taken the general concept, but threw 90% of it out the window.  Wouldn't it figure that it was the important 90%?  All I could figure was that the goal was to keep on top of everything at all times and get organized.  I didn't take in all of the stuff that makes the system actually work.

Not surprisingly, I completely failed.  I almost wrote the whole system off, but I just decided to walk away from it for a while.  The other circumstances in my life made truly feeling comfortable with taking control of the chaos in my house seem completely unreasonable.  I needed to wait until I found a sense of stability.

When I finally went back to looking at the system again, I gave it a fair shot this time.  I thought the idea of a "control journal" was kind of hoaky, to be honest, but I would do everything else.  I could always leave off the things I didn't like, right?  I mean, seriously, did I need to get dressed down to lace-up shoes?  I hardly ever wear shoes if I can avoid it, even when leaving the house!  Besides, my feet sweating in socks makes them itchy after a while.  I don't need to do that, right?

Looking at the whole system, it did make a lot of sense.  At first I did find it completely ridiculous to shine your sink.  It's just a sink!  Nobody cares!  However, I do understand what she's getting at here.  I tried it, straight down to bleach and everything as directed, even though I'm allergic to bleach.  The sink was clean, sterile, and as shiny as it was going to get!  It would never be great because that sink leaked and water constantly was running down it.  However, it was so nice to go out into the kitchen and see one small place of cleanliness.  It was a little patch of heaven to get up in the morning and not look at a sink full of dishes everyone was too lazy to do the night before.

I have to admit, I never got much beyond the kitchen when living with room mates.  Again, it's hard to feel in control of your space when you're not the one with the final say.  When it came to dishes, I could insist all I wanted that there would be no dirty dishes left in the sink, but sure enough, there always were.  It was a great recipe for giving up time and time again.

I used to joke with my partner that I was off to "FlyLady the kitchen".  He would always get a kick out of it, but secretly, I think it made him happy.  He knew that meant we would have a clean kitchen, which was always something he found important.  As much as he never wanted to have to work at having a clean home, the cleaner his living space, the happier he is.

Now that we're in our own place we're doing the FlyLady thing again.  I'm really trying to adhere to the major points of the system without getting too hung up on details I know aren't going to flawlessly fit my family.  I can always work on that later.  One step at a time, right?

Looking at some of this, I have to say, I really do understand a lot of where she's coming from, even if I thought it was silly before.  There's a purpose behind all of it, and I think that she's really doing a service for families everywhere by her advice, "FlyRules" and everything else.  There are some things I really have grown to love about her system.

• Shiny sinks do actually mean something.  I have to admit, shining the sink doesn't necessarily make sense to me at this point, but I can see the benefits of a clutter-free, clean, empty, and dry sink.  On top of that, it encourages prompt action on my part.  When I walk into the kitchen and see a dish in the sink thinking, "Oh no!  A dish!  Not in my newly shined sink!" instead of getting angry at the person who put it there, or worse, ignoring it entirely and moving on, I wash the dish, wipe down the sink, and make it clean and shiny again!  At the end of it all, the dish is in the dishwasher, the sink is clean, dry, and empty again, and I now have a reason to smile.
• Cleaning really is a great way to bless your home.  It's more than cleaning out the negative energy for all you Pagan folk out there.  Everyone feels better in a cleaner home.  Everyone feels better when they can find things.  Better still, everyone feels much happier in a home where their stuff doesn't own them!
• Conquering Mt Washmore one load at a time is completely something I can do.  Of course, right now it's not easy because we don't have a washer and dryer, but when I could simply throw in a load of laundry every day and call it good, I found that I never got buried under a pile of laundry bigger than I am!  It also makes folding, sorting, and putting away the laundry that much more likely to happen.  Folding and putting away one single load every day takes no time at all.  When you've got a whole bunch of loads, it's way too easy to get behind and buried under your clean laundry, only to have it never go away, get on the floor and dirty, and then need to be washed again.
• Calendars are key to organization.  If I want something to happen, I really need to write it down.  The control journal concept is the same thing, just another way to stay organized and on top of things.
• While I may not feel the need to be dressed down to the lace-up shoes, I do believe that when you look good, you feel good, and that carries over to everything you do.  That means getting up in the morning, getting dressed, doing my hair, and maybe even throwing on a bit of make-up one of these days will help keep me in good spirits.  When you look good, you feel good.  When you feel good, you get stuff done.
• I love her concept of FLYing, Finally Loving Yourself.  That's what it really is, isn't it?  The whole idea is to have a clean home because it makes you feel happy.  More importantly, people with messy, cluttered homes are usually expressing a very big idea about themselves, that they just don't care about themselves.  They don't care enough to keep their environment comfortable.  As a result, cleaning your home is an act of loving yourself (and your whole family)!
• Taking on all of this 15 minutes at a time is much less intimidating than taking it on all at once.
• "You're not behind.  You don't need to catch up.  Just jump in where you are."  The whole idea is great!  It's easy to feel overwhelmed and like you'll never get anything done.  That reminder is incredibly helpful every time I think about it.
• Getting rid of everything you don't love, haven't used in the past six months, and won't likely use again in the next six months is a brilliant strategy.  I've built myself into the mentality that I can't get rid of anything because I might need it for something and I just won't have it.  That's the trials of living in such a fluctuating situation as I have.  When you have no stability, it's easier to cling to stuff figuring that stuff will somehow give you stability.  The reality is if I can go a year without using it, I probably will never actually need it again.  Someone else could make better use out of it.  The same goes for things I don't love.  If they bring back sad or painful memories, why am I keeping them?
• She always adds helpful reminders for healthy habits, like menu planning and getting a home cooked meal on the table, something that many families never get.  That's a perfect example of a healthy practice that seems too much for most people.  She's also always on her reminders to drink water (I think she even put it into her routines!) which is good for people like me who let themselves get dehydrated.  Another good one is reminders for anti-procrastination day, cleaning out the refrigerator, and using things before they go bad.  Let's not forget the importance of good sleeping habits and taking time out for yourself!
• There's no such thing as perfect.  I just need to do my best every day and stop letting my perfectionism eat away at me.  Just because my house won't be perfectly clean, organized, and clutter-free in a day doesn't mean I'm doing a bad job.  It just means I've got a lot of work ahead of me!

The list goes on and on.  I know some people find her a little out there.  She's definitely more geared towards homemakers than towards career women (though she does include a lot geared towards them as well).  I have to say, her women oriented feel to everything is a little overwhelming, to a point, as though women are the ones who are supposed to be cooking, cleaning, and everything else, but the reality is that very few men are actually homemakers.  Very few men do all the cooking and the cleaning, and even fewer men are willing to jump on board with this idea at first.  I guess in my experience, women are more naturally inclined to have a clean home that's inviting to their family and any company they might have.  I guess that's also the reason for the stereotypical bachelor pad and the need for "a woman's touch".

One of these days I'll actually pick up a copy of Flylady's book, Sink Reflections.  I have to admit, I'm rather curious about it.  After reading everything on her site, I'm very interested to read it!  She also has Body Clutter: Love Your Body, Love Yourself, but I don't think that one would be near as useful for me.

I know there's a lot out there about FlyLady being some God driven crazy lady that needs to hold everyone's hand because there are people who need to be told every moment of the day, but in truth, it's not about that.  Yes, there are some people out there who hold on to the most ridiculous stuff (see the show Hoarders...) but the reality is most people aren't like that.  Also a true thing, most people who are looking for books on storage solutions, organization, and are considering buying a bigger home just to house their stuff probably could use a system like this.  It seems these are the people who claim the system to be the least useful of all.

Honestly, FlyLady has given me the tools needed to pull things together and start getting my house in order.  It's not about hand-holding.  I don't need someone to tell me what I need to throw away or give away.  However, it's nice to have reminders that this needs to get done, and if I'm dedicated enough, I can stay on top of this.  Without FlyLady, I'd probably find a way to make it work, but until then, I'd still be buried under all this stuff!

Chores, Children, and Responsibility

It seems everyone has an opinion when it comes to chores and children.  Some people feel that kids should enjoy their childhood and chores are completely inappropriate.  Others feel that children should do all the chores since their parents spend all their time and energy working to keep a roof over their head and food in their bellies or actually staying at home and parenting.  There are, of course, tons of people who fall somewhere in between.

Where do I fit in all of this?  Well, I'm certainly not an extremist by any means, but I do have my opinions on the matter.  Some of them come from my own upbringing.  Some of them come from my own experiences.  Also have taken the time to understand the wide range of varying opinions on the matter.

Thinking back to when I was a child, my sister and I had no chores.  We didn't have any responsibility around the house, and therefore, didn't have any respect for my house.  I didn't need to worry about doing my dishes because someone would always be there to do them for me.  I didn't need to worry about cleaning up my room because my mother would eventually get fed up, come in, and do it for me.  I didn't have to do anything but go to school, do my homework, and play.  It wasn't until I got older and my mom stopped doing everything for us, and seemed to stop caring all together, that I finally picked up and started doing my own chores and cleaning.  It got to the point where doing a dish meant washing one to use, and everyone really stopped caring.

I've known plenty of kids who have grown up not having to lift a finger around the house.  In many cases these same children have grown up to have challenges in cleaning their own homes as adults.  I've even known a few who, as adults, have their mother come over and clean their home for them.  It seems there's a correlation between having no responsibilities or chores and learning to keep house later.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are the kids that have all the responsibility for the chores in their house.  I've known a few like that.  When the kids do all the chores and get the feeling that their parents sit by and do nothing all day, it can often end up with adults who feel that, now that they are adults, they shouldn't have to do any cleaning either.  It leads to challenges with keeping their own house clean, and the added hatred and frustration of having no choice but to do it.  They may want a clean home, but hatred of the task leads them to despise the work involved.

For those of you who know, I've been working a lot with the whole FlyLady system of house cleaning.  The Artsy Eclectic over at Otherwise Quite Good introduced me to FlyLady about two years ago now.  The idea is that a clean home is a blessing to your whole family.  The emphasis is on decluttering, doing everything fifteen minutes at a time, and organization.  Everything for the next morning should be ready to go on the "launch pad" the night before to reduce the craziness of finding things to get out the door and get stuff done the next day.  When going through items in your home to reduce clutter, if you don't use it and don't love it, it's gone.  There's no reason to be carrying around things you don't love and don't need, especially if you're not going to be able to display them so they can be enjoyed.  She believes that if you have a problem with something, rather than getting upset about it and taking actions that lead to negativity and don't get things done, leading to more negativity.  The final thing she encourages is for children to get involved in the process with the Riley Challenges she puts out.  If children learn that keeping a clean house isn't about doing work (work is a four letter word in my book!) and instead it's about loving themselves, respecting their home, and respecting their family, then they'll be more likely to carry that on into their adulthood, bringing forth another generation of organized people with clean, clutter-free homes!

Well, more on FlyLady later.  Right now my topic is about kids and chores.  For the longest time I believed that children shouldn't have chores.  Children shouldn't even have to clean their room if they don't want to because it's their space and they'll keep it the way they like it.  I somehow had this vision of my son's room always being tidy (because that's the way he likes it) and my daughter happily surrounded by scattered toys everywhere.  Once I was finally out on my own and away from my ex I became very aware of exactly how unrealistic that was.  Letting my daughter's room stay a mess often ended up in toys being scattered all throughout the house that she didn't want to pick up.  She would always demand, "Why do I have to put them away?  I don't have to clean my room.  Why should I have to clean anywhere else?"  Then the two children were forced into sharing a room for a while and things got worse.  My normally organized son didn't want to clean up any of his sister's toys, and refused to clean up when she was anywhere to be found.  He wanted to do it on his schedule, before a nap (if he took one) and before bed.

That very day that my daughter complained to me was the one I started putting my foot down.  My children couldn't live chore-free anymore.  They had to learn to keep after themselves, if nothing else, because I just didn't have the energy to keep after them anymore.  I started to feel under-appreciated, like I was expected to be a maid in my own home, and worse still, no one cared if the house was clean or dirty.  Something had to be done about it!  I started instituting room cleaning as a chore.

Just this past fall I found Chore Wars.  I started setting it up and assigned points to each of the chores.  I started with simple things for the kids that they could really handle themselves and really should have been doing anyway, cleaning their rooms and putting the dishes next to the sink when they were done eating so the table was clear and the dishes could be washed.  I told my daughter that they could earn rewards for things like that, and the gold was going to be directly exchangeable for money.  This wasn't something that we were just doing for the kids.  This would allow my partner and I to have an allowance for our own fun spending.  This would mean I could earn my yarn budget from my partner's paycheck without having to dip into child support (unless it was to make something the kids needed) or my business.  It would mean I could pay for a date night to the movies, dinner out now and again, and everything else without feeling too guilty about spending my partner's hard earned cash.  It would also give me a great way to keep track of exactly how much each family member got done each day.  Since my partner was often under the misunderstanding that I did nothing around the house all day.  Let's be honest here, if I do my job well enough, no one will notice that I've done anything, just that things (at the very least) don't get any more messy and cluttered than they were before.  More importantly, it's easy not to notice that the house is cleaner and less cluttered when it doesn't suddenly happen all at once.  The small changes are the hardest ones to notice.

So how does this really tie in with my kids?  My daughter has been asking what else she can do around the house.  She's asked me if she can have doing the dishes as a chore.  She's informed me (didn't know she was in a position to tell me how it is!) that she was doing the sweeping and I'm no longer allowed since it's her chore.  Part of this is the whole Chore Wars thing and the ability to earn a bit of money to buy things she wants, but part of it is the whole feeling of helping.  She's seen how incredibly happy the whole family is when the house is cleaner, so she wants to take part in that.  I have no problems with it.

Since my daughter's started doing chores around the house, she's become more aware of how much of a mess she and her brothers really make.  She and her older brother use team work to manage the dustpan and broom, since we don't have a regular dust pan and brush.  She has decided that making the table before dinner is going to be one of her jobs.  Now that we're in our own home, washing dishes is going to be her responsibility too.  She's not going to be washing sharp knives or incredibly dirty cooking pots, but the difference in her behavior and her outlook on everything has drastically changed.  She cleans up after her own messes more often.  She even keeps after her room more regularly!

I'm not saying I'm going to pay my children with allowance to clean the house.  However, I don't believe in giving children money just for being kids.  In the real world, you don't get paid to do nothing.  I don't believe in my children being my maids either.  However, I do believe in including my children in keeping after the house to teach them the valuable lesson that a clean home is truly a blessing to your family, and cleaning is just one of the many gifts you can give your family.  Helping with house cleaning will create positive patterns for their future, something they can take with them through their whole life, and encourages responsibility.

Children having chores is a benefit to the whole family.  It makes keeping the home a process that the whole family is a part of, so it truly feels like every member of the family is contributing to the home.  Most importantly, children learn important life skills from having the responsibility of doing chores in their own home.  As much as I would like my kids to do nothing all day but be kids, these valuable lessons will help make their own futures brighter.  Not only are my children learning to "bless their home" as FlyLady puts it, they're learning to create a positive, healthy, happy home in their adulthood long before they even get there!

New Year, New Home!

It's the first day of 2011!  We've just spent our first night in our new home.  Many of our possessions were already here from moving throughout the week, but yesterday we got some of the big stuff done.  If all goes well, all of our stuff will be moved, taken care of, and done in no time.

In this new year we will be moving our beloved pets to a friend's house.  She'll be watching them for us for a while until we can put down our pet deposit here, something we won't be able to do until we're a little more situated.  As much as it's sad to know our pets won't be coming with us for a while, I know this will only be temporary and our whole family will be here before we know it.

Already we're settling in to our new home.  Books are put away on the shelves, food was stocked in the pantry.  I'm honestly happy to have a pantry!  With as may cabinets as we have, I wasn't expecting one!  I was also worried about having to spend a good deal of money for starter foods in a new house.  Apparently I hadn't thought about my own spending habits.  I'll admit it, I learned to shop like my family always did.  You always buy more food before you need it and make sure plenty of it is non-perishable.  I've lived that way my whole adult life.  I have to say, it's wonderful to know you have no money for food, then look into the refrigerator to find it empty, only to be pleasantly surprised by a stock of mac and cheese, pasta, and plenty of canned veggies.  As a result, we may still be largely all boxed up, but it's really starting to feel like home!

Yesterday we packed up the kids and waited at the new house.  They sat and played with Play-Doh while the adults took care of moving, unpacking, and everything else.  I got all the chapter books I found put up on the shelves.  I sorted out the toys to be put into separate rooms.  My daughter was thrilled to have her baby doll and her Springfield doll back.  She's only disappointed that her doll clothes aren't here.  I'm sure those will be moved some time today.  We all sat around the house and ate Taco Bell (an indulgence we really couldn't afford, but it will be the last for a long time and we had no pots with which to cook!) while drinking soda.  When the kids started to get tired (but couldn't sleep thanks to the fireworks crazy locals), my daughter and I played card games and on the computer.  I have to confess, it was secretly a moment of homeschooling, but it was fun and kept her busy.  It also kept her brothers out of her hair for a while!

After everyone went to bed, I went and made the house my own.  We still need to spend a good deal of money in making this house an actual home with all the preparations necessary, but that will come in time.  For the time being I threw cleaning rags under each of the bathroom sinks, the kitchen sink, and draped across the center divider of the sink for a dish rag.  I've got them color coded for each area they get used on, just so we can keep track of what belongs where.  We had to get new cookie sheets, casserole dishes, and utensils.  It's amazing how much stuff you lose along the way when you move so much and don't need it.  They all got put away neatly, and I expect them to stay that way!  We picked up a broom, dishwasher detergent, and blue dawn.  At least we know we'll have clean dishes!

Today we have a sad need for more shopping.  Shower curtains are a necessity.  We need cleaners for the house to wipe up the stove, counters, and table.  We need some thumb tacks for hanging things on the walls.  While nails are definitely better for pictures and things, tacks are much easier and hold up pretty much everything we could want on the walls fairly securely.  Besides, there are some things, like artwork from the kids and posters, that tacks are ideal for.  As I'm unpacking, pictures and posters will start going up.  Artwork will start to appear on the walls too, I'm sure.  That's a part of having a real home, not just a place to dump your stuff and fall asleep at night.  I hate to say it, but I've never had that before.  In most of my homes the walls have been these pristine surfaces of white.  Rarely did we put up even a single picture.  I know that was a largely a factor of my ex-husband.  After living with him I was shocked when my partner finally started staying in my room and put his band posters up on the wall.  I wanted to cry.  He just couldn't do that!  The walls had to be bare!  Posters and things were just tacky!  Of course, now I really love it.  I think it really brings out an element of personality in a home.  He tacked up pictures that he and my daughter sat together and colored for me one day.  I still have them.  Now I'm starting to think about the kinds of arts and crafts projects I can make with the kids and hang up on the walls to decorate for every holiday.  We could be in for a lot of fun.

Again, I'm getting side-tracked, but the point is, for the first time in a very long time I look around my house and think, "I'm home."  It's a new year in a new place.  I'm leaving behind a lot of my old friends (though some are definitely going to continue to be a part of my life!) and I'm starting over fresh.  From the looks of it, 2011 is going to be a great year, and it's already starting off on the right foot!

Moving is Right Around the Corner

With moving coming upon us so quickly, I have to say, I'm really excited.  Yes, there are some things I'm dreading about moving again.  It's always kind of stressful, isn't it?  Watching all of your life disappear into boxes only to be opened and put away in somewhere that doesn't feel at all like home.  It's not something that inspires a warm and fuzzy feeling.

I have to admit, I've been pretty optimistic about moving since I've started writing this blog.  In some cases I haven't always felt so optimistic.  In this case, I've got to admit that I'm really kind of done with moving.  With each move we've sworn it would be our last move for a long time, and each time something has happened to change that promise to ourselves.  It's been pretty frustrating.

This time I have to admit that I really am feeling more optimistic about it.  Yes, there are going to be some challenges with this move.  We're going to have to settle in to a whole new place with not nearly enough stuff.  I'm going to have to find a way to decorate to my satisfaction, which will be pretty hard with not enough furniture or things to decorate with.  However, we're going to make the best of it.  It's going to be our own home and we'll have at least a year before we have to worry about moving again!

As much as I've been a bit skeptical about moving in the past, I really am feeling pretty good about this one.  We're going to have our own home again, and I can really step up to be mistress of the house.  I know for many that doesn't seem like something I'd really want.  I'm too much of the kind of person to sit back and watch life drift by merrily.  However, I've come to realize that I need to have power in my own domain.  I need to be able to take charge and deal with something when there's a problem.  After all, if I'm the one with the problem, I'm the one that needs to do something about it.  That's not something that can be done when you share a house with room mates, especially when you feel you aren't all equals in the house.  It was made very clear shortly after we moved in that one person's say was very much ranked higher than everyone else.  However, instead of stepping up and taking action herself when something bothered her, she just let it get to her.  I'm not criticizing her.  It's not my place to do so.  However, that made things challenging.  I didn't feel like I had the right to step up and deal with things I felt needed to be handled because on several occasions, doing so meant stepping on toes.  As much as not doing so caused upset on her part, it was far easier to tolerate her upsets than constantly having to live under her specific rule set.  I'll be honest, I've felt that way with many of the people I've lived with unless everyone moved in at the same time with agreements on how everything would be handled.

I'm looking forward to having my own kitchen again, where I can set everything up the way I like it.  This is a big thing for me since I've always been the one to do the most cooking in every room mate situation we've had, yet I haven't been able to arrange the kitchen in a way that works for me in any of them.  I'm going to have my own private bathroom again, well, my partner and I will.  This may not seem like a big deal, but it's nice to be able to take a shower without having to clear tub toys out of the way first or having children banging down my door because someone has to use the bathroom right that very second and cannot wait!  I'll be able to set up homeschooling supplies without having to worry about any of it being in the way for room mates, or trying to find somewhere to put it all in a home that's already so well established.  I can have the heat and air conditioner set at a temperature I'm comfortable with, and not have to worry about being too cold all the time or unbearably hot.  In truth, I'm just looking forward to living the way I want to live without a whole bunch of rules being imposed upon me.  It's too much the idea of living with my parents, yet I'm a parent myself.  It's a good reminder of why I never could live with my parents again.

I'm honestly just looking forward to getting back to normal again, or as normal as our family ever has.  I just want a chance to be myself without having to be suffocated by oppression, whether these friends believed or intended to be oppressive or not.  In the case of the last person I lived with, I know she and her family had no intentions of ever being the oppressive sort.  It was more that the situation and my lifestyle and habits didn't mesh in the least.  Something had to change, and it did.  I think she and I can be better friends when all is said and done.  In all honesty, I don't know that it's worked out so well for all of the people I've left behind.

Most importantly, I'm finally gaining my sense of stability back again.  I chose to give up that stability last April for some very overpowering reasons.  I was honestly left with little choice.  While that's not something I want to put much emphasis on right now, I'm happy to finally be getting that sense of stability back again!

We Have a New Home!

We've signed the lease!  We have the key!  Now all we need to do is move in!  It's so exciting about finally making this step in our lives, a step back to some sense of normal life.  I really can't wait!  Now if only we had the money to get the electricity and water turned on today!  Oh well, things will happen when they happen, and the first isn't so incredibly far away.

Actually, it's funny how it happened.  We were looking to have a place and move on the first or shortly after.  We didn't truly want to move before Christmas.  We weren't looking for somewhere that would be available now.  As much as we were ready to move and wanted to move, our finances just weren't lined up to allow us to move as soon as we wanted to.  We were going to have to do this the smart way, which meant doing it on the first instead of right this minute.  We had figured exactly how much time it was going to take us to move everything and what kind of time line we were working on.

Last night we went to see the apartment.  It's not in a great section of town, but it's not a bad section of town either.  Even though it was dinner time when we arrived, there were kids out and playing.  The street seems quiet enough.  Actually, the whole neighborhood doesn't seem that busy!  There are a good deal of families.  It doesn't look like it will be that much different than when we were living on post, aside from living upstairs in an apartment instead of a duplex.  We even go to meet our downstairs neighbors, who are pretty nice people.  They've got two beautiful dogs too.  They were honest about the neighborhood.  They hate it.  However, they said that the landlord has always been good to them and they've got to be honest, they've never exactly tried to get to know any of the neighbors, so they don't really know much about what the neighborhood is like.  They just know that outside on a Friday or Saturday you can hear the noise from the string of clubs two blocks away.

The apartment is much smaller than I've gotten used to.  I have to admit, I've been spoiled between living on post and my friend's homes.  I'm used to having more space than I could possibly need.  Looking at this apartment my first thought was, "Where are we going to put everything?"  Then I remembered that after all of our downsizing, we really don't have all that much stuff anymore!  We'll have no problems fitting it all in to our new place!  I'm actually starting to think of the smaller space in a very positive light.  I'm getting excited about having a place that's perfectly sized for our family!

As you enter in there's a small living room.  I'm honestly not sure what we're going to do with the space.  We don't have a couch and even if we did, the area is kind of small.  I'm not quite sure how we'd set it up in a way that would allow us to use the couch and have a television set up.  Of course, that's something we can figure out in the future.  Just beyond the living room is the kitchen.  On the left there are two bedrooms and the bathroom.  One of the bedrooms has an absolutely massive closet!  I think that's going to be the boys room, mostly because it's more practical.  We can fit two beds in there and put the dressers and toy boxes in the closet.  I was actually joking about putting one of the boys in the closet so he can use it as his bedroom!  That's how big the closet is!  My daughter doesn't exactly have a small closet either!  It should be big enough for everything she'll need to fit.  The main bathroom is decently large with plenty of room for teeth brushing and everything else.  We even have a linen closet conveniently close to the bathroom!  The kitchen is surprisingly big for a place that has a kitchen, dining room, and living room.  In my experience, those kitchens tend to be tiny.  There looks to be plenty of cabinet space.  There's a pantry too!  On the other side of the kitchen is a very small dining room.  To be honest, I think we're probably going to want to get a smaller table in time, but for now ours will do.  Being in the back of the house, away from the living room and bedrooms makes this space ideal for homeschooling and crafts too!  The laundry room is just off the dining room. and so is the master bedroom.  The master bathroom isn't anything stunning, but I'm excited to have my own bathroom again that can be a no-kid zone!

Some features I've been spoiled with back home definitely aren't here.  We have no back yard, which is pretty standard in apartments, however, there's also only one door.  It would have been nice to have a back porch or back door.  Then again, I'm also finding that one way in or out is pretty typical of Texas apartments, especially on the second floor.  It's very strange, but even when they do have two doors, I'm finding that on many occasions, the doors lead out of the same room!

However, this place doesn't look bad.  The way I look at it, we'll be here for a year.  A year's time is definitely enough to make an opinion on the place.  If we like it, we'll stay.  If we hate it, well, we've got plenty of time to start saving for another place, and getting our deposit back will definitely help fund moving into a new place.  In all honesty, I don't see us really wanting to move anyway.

This whole thing is very exciting.  I can't wait to get settled in.  I've got a lot of incentive to get everything settled in and in order.  I want to have a house warming party.  I don't know if it's inappropriate to throw your own house warming party or if a friend is supposed to arrange it for you.  I guess it's sort of like the bridal shower I never had, and the baby showers I never had.  However, it's not about the gifts or anything like that.  It's not about showing off our beautiful new home (especially since most of my friends will be living in nicer homes than I am!), but it will be about celebrating getting all settled in to our own place with no room mates to worry about!  It will be about enjoying the fact that once again we have a home.  In truth, we'll probably just end up sitting around and playing cards or something!

So, moving day is looming ever nearer, but I'm not worried about it anymore.  We get all our utilities set up on the first.  We're going to have much of the stuff we're not using moved in before then.  After that, we won't have far to go to get everything into the new place and be completely done!  This is shaping up to be the most stress-free move I've ever made!

Moving Again?

That's right, we're moving again.  I know it seems like I just can't put my feet down for more than a minute before I'm off and running again.  That's kind of how I feel.  It seems like we're in a constant state of change, jumping from one place to the next with reckless abandon.

In truth, it all started with a decision to do what was best for my family.  Had things gone differently, we never would have had a reason to leave the last apartment that would have just been my family.  We would have had some sense of stability, something my whole family really needs.  Unfortunately, for reasons that really aren't necessary to revisit at this stage in my life, that didn't happen.  We moved in with a friend as it would be a temporary situation, at least until we could get our feet on the ground.

As things would have it, that didn't work, and a better opportunity came up.  Then that opportunity didn't work out for it's own reasons, in part because of the great number of people under one roof.  We moved again to a situation that should have been an improvement, but again we're finding this isn't the situation for us.  I'm not going to point fingers or place blame.  No good ever comes of that.  However, we've all just come to realize that we can't live together, for a variety of reasons.  I have to admit, it would be so incredibly easy to go into it all, but the time has come to put the past behind us and look forward to everything coming our way.

Given our situation, there are certain realities we're going to have to face.  We can't afford a beautiful home in a really nice neighborhood.  In truth, we're looking at some of the less desirable neighborhoods, but not necessarily somewhere bad, just less classy.  We're likely going to have to make use of the local laundry facilities as we won't have a washer and dryer.  However, the boys will be able to share a room and my daughter will have her own room again, something that I'm thrilled about.  There should be fewer arguments that way.  I would love to have a place with a big back yard and a garage, but the reality is that's just not in the cards.  Right now what we're able to get is a stable roof over our heads for the next year so we can work on getting our lives in order.  Perhaps in a year's time we can start looking at somewhere nicer that's closer to my partner's work.  If it turns out not to be a terribly bad location, we might even decide to stay and save up until we can move back home or at least into our own house.  Of course, that will mean a lot of repairing damaged credit before then.

In truth, I'm looking forward to this.  I like the idea of it being my family and my home again.  I like knowing I have a place to invite everyone over to play cards.  I don't need to worry about conflicting with something the house mates are doing.  I don't have to worry about anyone but my own family.  If the dishes don't get done, I know they're my family's dishes and I'm the one responsible for them.  It now becomes my choice to do them or not, so if they didn't get done, it's my own fault.  If the floor doesn't get swept, there's no one to complain about it or do something about it but me.  Even better, there's no cat to pee all over everything in the house!  There will just be my family, our rabbit, our snake, and our rat.  Yes, the pets will need to be kept after still, but at least being caged animals restricts their ability to make a mess and damage the place in comparison to a cat or a dog.  I can once again go back to my house and my rules without having to worry about stepping on toes.  There will be no toes to step on aside from my own!

While the idea of moving for yet a fifth time this year makes me want to scream, I'm really happy about it.  I know this will be the last time for a while, possibly for the next couple of years.  This means we're looking at stability, which is something I really feel we need right now.  We'll be in a good solid position to start making a dent in my bad credit and start saving for our future.  Our family needs this right now.  So, while the timing stinks and I'm not looking forward to the work involved, I'm really happy about this change!

Setting up the Home Office

You wouldn't believe how good it feels to know that my "office" space is all set up and complete.  I've just cleared away all the non-essential things and I'm ready to take on whatever I might need to take on!  This whole little burst of cleaning has done wonders for my mood!

It's funny how one object in a room can spread the cleanliness bug to the rest of the house.  In the kitchen, a sink full of dishes can be the excuse to let the rest of it go.  Right now in my room, my desk is the one excuse to let the rest of it go, getting piled up with clutter and chaos.  That's the last thing I need in my life right now!  It's time to fight back!

This whole cleaning thing has been a dance for me, stepping forward and back in an intricate pattern, sometimes better, sometimes worse.  In truth, I'm making a slow and steady progress, but some days I slip further behind than others and there are some days where I lose track of all the progress I've made completely.  Still, today is one of those progress days.  I hope the trend keeps up!

Sustainability Tip: Home Made Cleaner

Over the past few years I've been hearing a good deal about the chemicals we've been exposing our bodies to on a daily basis.  It seems everywhere we turn there are more chemicals.  Some chemicals aren't so harsh on our bodies, like soaps, shampoos, and the like.  Others, like many cleaning products, are far more harsh.  There are a million recipes out there for cleaners to do any household chore, most of them very green and much safer for the family than the store-bought heavy chemicals.

After a visit to the ER for my poor, sweet baby boy today I decided we needed to do something about our laundry soap.  I know the boys and I have all had reactions to different perfumed laundry soaps in the past, but never as severe of a problem as my baby boy was having.  We can't positively identify the source of the problem, but the chicken pox turned into a bad rash which proceeded to get infected.  It's entirely possible that the rash was simply a bad combination of the open chicken pox sores and the bad reaction we had been observing with the laundry soap.  Because that skin was already raw and sore, it made the reaction go crazy, where as before it was causing a little minor redness at best.  The doctor recommended we not use cloth diapers until the infection clears up, bleach the diapers well to remove any chance of infection, and from that point on, change our laundry soap, just to be on the safe side.  If he breaks out real bad when we go to cloth again, obviously the problem is bigger than the laundry soap or some lingering contamination, and we'll have to either replace all our diapers or simply change to disposables, something I dread doing.  With luck, we'll be able to salvage the diapers and continue to use them.  As our diapers still had a residual smell after cleaning the last couple of times I washed them, I'm hoping a real deep clean is all that's necessary.

A few weeks back I was talking to some girls on an online forum about dreadlocks.  They had talked about deep cleaning solutions they have used for their hair.  Their deep cleaning process reminded me of the combination I was suggested for hand washing my diapers.  I decided after bleaching the diapers, I'm going to try out this combination and see if it does us some good.

Typically done in measurements, this cleaner can be used for hair, diapers, and I've heard of it being used for clothing as well, though I would definitely test it out on any kind of delicate fabric before you use it on anything with special washing instructions.  For my diapers, I've always kind of eyeballed it.  When hand washing, I usually mix it together in a tub or bucket full of water.  In a washing machine, I typically just add it as the water starts running, or after the water has already filled.  There are two very simple ingredients, baking soda, and typically apple cider vinegar.  Of course, some people substitute white vinegar as per preference for any number of reasons.  For use on the skin, apple cider vinegar may be a bit too strong.  Just be certain that it's all well washed out of whatever you use it on, be it clothes (check before they hit the dryer) or hair.  For those of you who prefer measurements, I've found information that suggests anywhere between 1/4-3/4 of a cup of baking soda combined with a cap full of vinegar.  I know a cap full is not a standardized measurement, but it's pretty easy to estimate.  I've found a couple resources that suggest 8 or so drops of tea tree oil and a couple of references listing lemon juice both with the vinegar and as a replacement for vinegar (an average of one to two tablespoons).  Keep in mind for mixing this to use in hair, you want to mix it well before you add it to your hair.  Obviously for dreads you will need to soak to penetrate all the way through each dread, but if you have normal hair, simply adding it to your hair and letting it do it's job for a while should do the trick too.  I've used it before and didn't even need to scrub my hair.  I just let it do it's job.  Unfortunately, with vinegar, it has a very strong smell, and rinsing it out all the way doesn't necessarily get rid of the smell as quickly as you might like.

So there you have it, a quick and easy cleaner for your hair or clothing that can be thrown together with simple ingredients from your grocery store.  I do apologize for the lack of formal measurement, but I've found that experimenting is really the best way to find what works best as all washers seem to be a little different.  I also find I need to use more baking soda on diapers than I would with regular clothes.  Personally, I'm not a huge fan of using it on my hair as my hair doesn't feel as soft as I'd like afterward, but some people do swear by it.  For me, I'm glad I remember mixing all of this to wash diapers.  It saves all the chemicals that are even found in free and clear products.  Better still, it saves money!

Green Alternative to Black Friday Shopping

What is it about Black Friday that gets everyone up and shopping?  I know it has some of the best sales in the country, but are we really that much of a consumer culture?  I've been dragged shopping on Black Friday with a friend of mine and the sales may have been good, but the crowds were horrible.  I didn't really see the point.

Shopping on Black Friday also isn't great for the world around us.  Think of all the fumes expelled from vehicles as shoppers race from store to store.  Think of all those pollutants!  Then there's all the extra electricity use so stores can be open longer hours, earlier in the morning and later at night, if not all night.  All of that energy adds up.  What about all the people who eat out rather than eating a nice home-cooked meal because they're already out and it's convenient?  All in all, it's not the greatest concept for the world around us.

This year instead of hitting up the Black Friday sales, I'm looking for alternatives.  I've already decided many of my gifts this year have to be hand-made.  I guess a Black Friday sale at the yarn shop would be quite dangerous for my budget, but that's about it.

Making gifts has a seriously positive impact on the world around us.  Not only are the gifts made from the heart, and therefore have personal value, they're also higher quality than many store-bought items.  These items frequently come at a lower cost and require less energy to make.  Aside from making the materials themselves, the only energy expended is that of making it yourself, which leaves a much smaller impact on the environment.  After all, at most you'll eat more.  Hand-made gifts require more thought, since you're not going to spend all that time to make something the recipient will hate.  They're also generally more useful than many store-bought items.  Hand-made items come in such a variety too that there's always something for everyone.

This year while everyone else is running around doing their Black Friday sale shopping, I'm going to be taking some time to truly enjoy the start of the holiday season, kicking back and spending some time with my family.  Yes, I might miss the sales that so many other shoppers are hitting, but at least I'll know I can spend some quality time with my family and my room mates, possibly even making up some Christmas gifts while we're at it.  I think that's more than worth it.

Turning Over a New Leaf

Today starts another chapter in my family's lives.  It wasn't all that long ago that I set out with all these goals, to live caffeine free, with a respect for the world around us, to recycle when possible, to be active and healthy, and to truly live our lives as an example to others.  More often than not, I'm finding I fail at these tasks.  No matter what I do, it seems there's always more work to be done, and I'm dropping something else I intend to do.  I'm really dropping the ball on everything because every time I move on to step two, I forget to keep going with step one, and so I have to start all over again.

However, today marks a very special day in my family.  Not only is it the last Friday before the insanity of official Christmas starts, but this is the first day of a new life for us.  We're not moving.  There's no additions or removals of family members.  There's nothing overly dramatic that's causing a major shift in our family.  We're not even facing something negative we need to cope with.  Instead, we've just taken one more step towards having a normal family, or as close to one as we'll ever get.

Today my wonderful partner started training for a new job.  He was formerly employed as a delivery driver.  He still plans to keep that job for part time work, but he no longer needs it as a primary source of income.  Instead, he's working a normal desk job, working regular hours with predictable days off, and better still, a steady forty hours every week.  That means we'll have regular and predictable paychecks coming in, something we never had with his previous job.  This means our family has just gained a huge sense of stability.

How is this causing our whole family to turn over a new leaf?  Doesn't that just mean we've got an easier schedule to work around and we no longer need to try so hard to make our routine work?  Isn't this just one small step for making our lives easier?  I wouldn't think any of that would warrant the beginning of something new in our lives, or something so dramatic as to be considered starting a new chapter in our lives, so how is it I'm qualifying this as such a dramatic change?  I guess it's just that our lives are about to become a whole lot better, and I mean that far beyond my partner's new job.

Just knowing that my partner will be working a more regular job has already changed my whole outlook on life.  I no longer have to worry about whether or not he's eaten at work or is even hungry when he gets home.  I'll know about when he has his lunch, and I'll know he'll be hungry when he gets home.  Most nights I can have dinner on the table by the time he walks in the door, even if it means I'll have to heat some up for myself when I get home from dance class.  I know the kids will have an easier time holding to their bed times because we won't be running such crazy and unpredictable hours since we'll all know when dinner time is and on most nights can sit down to it together, or as much as you can when you don't have enough chairs at your table.  From then, bed time and all of that can flow on schedule because everything else will be on time.  We'll be able to work our homeschooling schedule in the mornings again, and not have to worry about my partner interrupting because he wants to spend time with us all before he leaves for work.  I can even have his lunch packed and ready for him the night before.  If I get really good at this, perhaps we can even manage to have breakfasts together in the morning too!  I'll have access to our car during the day, so that means I can take the kids to the homeschool co-op, kick ball days, and everything else without having to worry about my partner's schedule.  I may even look into getting my daughter enrolled in soccer!  I think my older son is too young to register this year.  In other words, this one small change has caused a huge cascade of other changes in my family, so we're all going to see a lot of difference for the better!

Best of all, the biggest effect in this chain reaction is the food we're eating.  I know I've been in the bad habit of eating out a lot and all of that.  It's kind of been a standard in my life.  It's so much easier to eat out or grab a meal that comes in a box and only needs some love from the microwave to make it ready.  While these meals can be quite good, I mean that in the use I've heard "quite" means in Great Brittan, not America, "slightly better than mediocre."  They're decent, edible, tolerable, but certainly have nothing on a home cooked meal.  I miss making home cooked meals.  I miss going all out with an entree, a couple side dishes, and some bread or rolls to go with it.  I miss having serving plates full of stuff to choose from.  I miss that feeling when I'm done eating that I could easily just pop with how incredibly full I am, and then there's still leftovers for the next day!  I miss knowing my partner will never have to worry about what he's going to take with him for lunch in the morning because there's always something good.  On top of that, I'm sure the whole family will start feeling a whole lot healthier when we're eating not just enough, but enough food that's really good for us!

My partner sent me a message today saying he thinks this new job was definitely a good change for him.  What I don't think he sees yet is this job was definitely a good idea for all of us!  Our whole quality of life is already starting to change, and it really didn't take all that much.

Rising Bright and Early

Since we've gotten to this new place, I haven't been much of a morning person.  To be honest, I've been getting up as late as I can possibly manage, enjoying my ability to sleep in.  Teaching dance classes makes it hard to get home, wind down, and get to bed at a reasonable time.  When I'm leaving my class at 9pm, it's not like I can just hop on home and into bed.  I'm far too wired.  It's meant my schedule is all mixed up.

Today I'm feeling like I'm made of lead.  I had to get up this morning to go to an appointment.  The cold morning air was a blessing.  Without it, I think I might have been asleep at the wheel!  I felt groggy, and still do.  A part of me doesn't think I can function through the rest of the day and just wants to take a nap!  But I'm up and awake, so I'm going to run with it.

I'm really going to have to be a morning person soon.  My partner just got a new job with more regular hours, which means getting up early to drive him to work so I can have the car during the day.  It's not like I'll need the car every day, but I can actually get something done while he's at work.  I can do all the grocery shopping, errand running, and all of that.  I can get the kids involved in the homeschool co-op, which I think would be wonderful for them.  It would give them a chance to get to know some other kids their age as well as learn some really fun new things.  I'm almost looking forward to that.

In the grand scheme of things, I'd forgotten how much my life is better when I'm up and functioning in the morning.  Being an early riser has always been a struggle for me, but I find I'm more productive and functional than when I allow myself to sleep in.  Perhaps this will be a change for the better!

Getting It All Done

It's not easy living with a family of five.  There's a lot to be done around the house.  It seems like there is a never ending stream of laundry.  Food goes somewhat quickly, and everything else.  Then there's all the dishes and everything else...  The work of a mother is never ending!

Today I decided something needed to be done.  While there is so much that I can't touch because my room mates don't want it messed with, there's plenty of other stuff that can be done.  I know some of it will have to wait.  I simply don't have the time or anything to do it properly right now.  Well, it's not so much the time to do that one task, but the time to do every layer that goes with that task to do it the right way.  In my opinion, there's no point in doing a task unless you're going to do it the proper way.  After all, if you leave something with "good enough", it's all to easy to settle for "good enough" all the time, and then it never actually gets done to it's fullest completion.  I'm tired of settling for "good enough".

I'm thinking in all of this, I need to stop considering things "not my responsibility".  I am reminded on a near daily basis that my family is not my room mate's responsibility and they will not clean up after us.  I guess I can't complain.  I haven't really been cleaning up after them either, though, that's probably in part because they spend all their time in their room.  I wash their dishes without too much of a complaint, and when I complain, it's just to my partner.  Still, there are other things that need to be taken care of that simply aren't getting done.  The cat box needs to be cleaned.  The rat doesn't get the attention she really needs.  Making the rest of the house safe for children simply isn't happening.  I'm not complaining, not really, but in some ways, these things are getting in the way of getting the house clean the way I feel it should be.

What can I say?  I'm finding that I'm getting picky about my home in my old age.  I like things to be a particular way.  Actually, I should be fair.   It's not that I like things to be a certain way.  I just like them to be neat, organized, and practical.  I can work around someone else's organization system, just as long as I understand it enough to find what I need and put things back when I'm done.  I like to look around my home and see clear surfaces!  I blame the FlyLady on this one, but I do.  I like to know that a coffee table can be used as a coffee table, with no more than a currently used glass and maybe a couple decorative books or a centerpiece.  Anything else is really just clutter.

Another thing I learned from FlyLady as this whole "not my responsibility" stuff.  I'm sick of hearing "I shouldn't have to" and "it's not my responsibility."  I know I've done it too.  Casting things off with "it's not my responsibility" and "I shouldn't have to" lays the blame on someone else.  In reality, is that getting the problem solved?  Is that getting the task done?  It really isn't.  All it's doing is passing the buck to someone else while complaining that it's not done to your satisfaction.  I mean, I can complain that the dishes aren't done all I want, but that's not getting them done.  Declaring loudly and to anyone who will listen that "they're not my dishes" and the person who dirtied them needs to go wash them isn't getting them done.  It's bothering me.  It's causing a problem.  Obviously complaining isn't making the situation any better, so I should just do it, right?  It's like that whole thing from Pixar's Robots, "If you see a need, fill a need."  In other words, if there's a task that needs to be done, find a way to get it done, whether it's doing it yourself or, in the case of the movie, inventing something to do it for you.

So from now on, if I see something that needs to be done, it's going to get done.  Why?  Because it needs to.  Because if I don't do it, no one else will, or it would have been taken care of already.  Because I want to get into good habits for when I no longer have room mates.  Most importantly, I'm going to do it because it's not fair for my family or anyone else who didn't cause the problem to be the one to suffer for it.  For sanity's sake, I'm only going to do do much on any given day, but progress must be made.  After all, if I wait for everyone to do their part, nothing will get done.  If I get into the mindset of not doing my part because no one else does theirs, nothing will get done.  The time has come to put away the blame and take action!