It's Only Been, I Don't Know, Forever?

We're back!  We're moving!  And it's about time to start school again.  No, I'm not kidding, we start school tomorrow.  I already have the stack of books sitting beside my chair for the first two weeks and everything.  All we need now is the schedule to be tacked to the wall and we'll be good to go.

So what's coming up for us this year?  Well, I'm glad you asked.  This year we're going to be starting a whole bunch of things on the homeschool front.  We've kind of scrapped our old unschooling ways in favor of more involved pursuits.  However, it's going to be a really fun year and I think the kids are going to absolutely love it!

But before we get to that, I'm going to talk about Pinkie.  This year is going to be Pinkie's sophomore year in high school.  Yes, high school!  She's studying landscaping at our local vocational school, and she's in love with it.  Part of that was being able to drive a tractor, but most of it is her love of working outdoors and being involved with plants.  It's always been a thing of hers, ever since she was pretty little.  She's always been into plants and animals.

But what about the homeschooling crew?  We're checking out a new program (well, new to us) called Build Your Library.  It's a secular literature-based curriculum, so basically everything we need.  I found it through a group called Secular, Eclectic, Academic.  I don't remember how I encountered them, but I used them to vet out other literature-based programs available.  While I have to say I wasn't worried about "truly secular" curriculum by their definition, I think I definitely found my home with Build Your Library.

So, why did I choose this one?  I'll be honest, I loved some of the book selections and I got excited that the creator chose things like The Hobbit and some other more modern titles.  It also helps that it wasn't a small fortune to purchase the books (though my aunt did do us a huge favor and got most of them for us used!)  As I explored the curriculum and learned more about the creator, I got more and more excited.  The woman who put it all together is really my kind of person.  She loves to read, but she's also into fantasy and science fiction, and we even watch some of the same shows.  She reads comic books, too, and goes to the local Comic Con.  There's definitely something appealing about a curriculum written by someone that's my kind of people.

Truth be told, I wasn't even looking for a curriculum when I started finding them.  People just started referencing them and I got curious.  This resulted in me checking them out, and then finally starting to really get drawn into the idea that these kinds of curricula even exist!  Next thing you know I was trying to figure out in the budget how I was going to afford to provide one for my kids, and then the whole idea of unschooling went right out the window.

Against what everyone recommends, I've decided to do a different level for each of the kids.  This is in part because of my own personal discomfort at the idea of having them work off "grade level" and instead having to modify the whole thing to make it appropriate for all of their skill levels.  On top of that, there's something nice about being able to give them each the individualized attention of their own plan and assignments.  Yes, it's more work, but I think it will result in each one of them getting a little bit more individualized attention.

So this year Bear is going to be in level 1.  That means we're going to be studying the ancients in history.  This is paired with some great literature, including a couple books that actually tie into the history, something that must have been challenging to find.  It's hard to find a book that appeals to that age level and matching that period of history.  There isn't a ton of lit written in that period.  This is all put together with a nature study, which seems like a really good "introduction to science" kind of thing.  Finally, we'll be adding our own math and phonics, sticking with what we're already doing, since it works so well for us.

Creeper gets to study the middle ages, though we're going to be including a little bit of a gloss-over for the ancients.  We've done it before, but it's been a little while, so this will be a review.  More than anything I wanted to get the timeline figures up there for him so he can have a full timeline when he's finished.  He's also got a great lit selection, which I've really been enjoying.  Science for him will be broken up into Earth science and space.  It should be a fun year.  Also, he'll be doing the same math and phonics, just like Bear.

Finally, there's Link.  He's doing the first level of American history.  I could have had him work on grade level, but as one of the things they learn is the 50 states, half in each year of American history, I thought we should start at the beginning.  His books are pretty good too, and they provide the link between his history and science.  For science he's doing biology, and it seems like there's a little bit of emphasis on diseases, which should be fun because I'm highly interested in infectious disease.  It all just packages together so neatly!  This is also going to be his last year in the elementary math books, as next year he's going to be doing pre-algebra.  We're also going to be working on finishing out his phonics curriculum, so that should be one thing to mark off the list.  I still can't believe he's already in middle school!  They grow up so fast!

And we're not homeschooling in isolation during the day either!  My aunt is getting some time in with the kids via Skype this year, which is huge.  Now, I'm not excited about this because it means I have a little less to worry about every day.  Yeah, she's taking some of the burden on history and poetry and almost all of lit.  However, this is a chance for her to build a strong relationship with the kids!  When they grow up and think back about their family, they're going to remember all those times working on the computer with their aunt.  She's a great, engaging reader.  She's always ready with funny comments to keep things lively.  The help with homescooling is just an added bonus.  It's also great to be able to have a resource who used to work in education and knows tips and tricks that I'd never even thought of before.  I don't know what we'd do without her insight.

Okay, time for a little nostalgia...  Thinking back about my aunt helping me out, I keep going back to the same thought over and over again.  Years back, when I was still pretty young, she made me a collection of poems.  She illustrated the book and everything.  I had that thing for years, and my parents might even still have it in their basement somewhere.  It was my favorite thing to pull out to read, and I still have one of the poems, a very short one, memorized.  It's one of those things that stuck with me for years.  Having my kids work with my aunt, it feels like it's that kind of thing, only less physical and tangible.  They may not have had a book to pull out and look at, but they get to see and talk to their aunt daily, which is great.  When they grow up they may not have memories of a collection of poems she made, but they'll remember reciting the poems they memorized to her.  They'll have memories of the books they read together and all the conversations they had.  They're going to be close, and that's wonderful.

But that's basically it for our planning this year.  I'm sure I'll have more to write after we've kicked off the year, which is tomorrow!  I still have things to do to get ready, like writing up narration cards and getting all of that sorted out, but we're almost there.  It's down to the finer details now, and anything that doesn't come along perfectly smoothly will be sorted out as we get rolling.  These first couple of weeks are going to be a challenge, but we'll get there, and it's all going to be so much fun!

Winter Break

What is winter break for?  In this house it's not for a break.  I decided to take some time out of our leisurely boring schedule of lazily doing nothing of any consequence to work on some stuff with the kids.

Creeper has really been struggling with school.  He does really well with the math, but the reading and writing is a little more trying for him.  Instead of having a carefree winter break, we've been working on some school stuff.

Of course, this really makes me think about the whole situation with school.  If I'm having the kids do all of this work at home, would it be possible to just homeschool them again?  Would this be the best option?  It's something that's been really tugging at the back of my mind.

Since it's winter break, I'm not worrying about that too much right now.  My main goal is to get Creeper back on track, which seems like a productive use of this break from school.  I'm glad he's able to get some work done, even though winter break is half over.  It's good to feel like we're accomplishing something for all this time off.

Then there's Bear.  We've been doing some work together outside of the computer.  I've got to admit, Bear has been trying my patience on the peaceful parenting thing.  I'm trying to get away from using tactics like time out, but it's not easy when Bear is so worked up over the past week.  It's been pretty crazy around here.  It makes it hard for Bear to concentrate and focus.

Still, Bear has managed to get some good work in.  We've started working with the workbooks Bear got for Christmas.  This has been trying with the lack of focus and the suddenly hyper behavior.  We've had to work hard to keep focus and stay on task.  Overall, I'd say we're making some pretty good progress.

Today we worked with some tracing lines, drawing lines along a path, and (as you can see here) tracing letters.  Bear seems really eager to learn these skills.  If Bear could keep a little more chill and focused, I think we'd be making some pretty good progress, but that wouldn't be Bear, now would it.  Instead we've been plugging away, trying to work on focus and attention span along with getting the work done.  I think that's maybe the hardest part of this whole thing, the attention span aspect of it all.

This whole thing has me considering the homeschooling thing with Bear too.  So far we've been doing pretty well.  Most of what we've been doing has been on the computer with Time 4 Learning.  I'm also considering Starfall, which Bear loves the free version of, and it can be played on all of our devices.  Now we're adding in more workbooks.  The whole thing is coming together pretty well.

All of this has my mind set to homeschooling.  There are a lot of reasons for this, many of which I don't feel belong in this blog, but the root of it all is that it doesn't seem to be working out for my family.  The long and the short of it is wondering if perhaps this is where our lives are taking us again.  It's a lot to consider, and definitely not a path I'm ready to jump onto now.  For now I'll be happy with doing our vacation work and calling it a day.

Getting It Done!

There are so many things that need to get done in this house.  Most of them involve some sort of struggle or fighting.  No one wants to do chores.  No one wants to help cook.  No one wants to take out the trash and recycling.  Most of all, no one wants to do homework.

It's been a constant struggle since school was started to get the kids to do their homework, even the good students when it came to homeschooling.  Once the kids got home from school, they wanted to do fun stuff.  They've been doing school all day.  The last thing they want is to do more school work, especially Creeper.  He gets home latest of the kids (4 pm) and still has to do homework.

As I'm sure you can imagine, the last thing he wants to do is homework, so we try to work someplace fun to work.  The other day it was on the bed in my room, which seems to be his favorite place to work.  This gives him a great chance to have a little more control over his working environment, so as much as he has to do his work, he can at least have some say in how.

How long it takes him to do his work varies.  He's pretty good with math, so that takes him almost no time at all.  It's the writing that ends up being rather time consuming.  He takes a full half hour to do his work on a good day, an hour on a bad day.  It time for me to make dinner by the time he's done with his work.

Still, in spite of it all he manages to get all of his work done most days.  When I'm in charge of his homework he does every page.  When he's left to do it on his own he makes some excuse about how he was told he didn't need to do it.  Then he leaves his homework at home instead of putting it in his bag.  It's been a struggle to get the assignments complete and in school on the day they're due.  It seems like he'd rather not have to do the assignment at all if he could at all help it, and I don't blame him.  It takes him so long to get it done, then has to do his reading on top of it, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes either.

Today was also another great adventure.  We went out to meet a friend at the train station today.  That led to an interesting walk home, and a wonderful snack of donuts and fritters.  Pinkie was with us after a trip to the ER yesterday.  She wasn't hurting too bad so she opted for the walk.  It reminded me of what things were like when we used to homeschool.  We always used to go on the grandest adventures.

I miss the days I went out with all the kids to the library or just out for a walk.  We used to have all sorts of adventures, or moments like this tree hugging one here.  It was fun having them all along, and it actually meant getting out of the house more.  We had so much more to do all the time, which helped.

I'm looking forward to more days when we can get out of the house, especially when the weather gets nicer.  It's going to mean we have more freedom to go out, though that's a long ways off.  I really miss having the freedom to do that any day, but I think we'll just have to make more of our weekends.

That's one thing I miss about homeschooling.  The name was so misleading.  We were almost never home.  We were out having adventures, hiking in the woods.  We had so much more to do.  I miss that.  It was so much better than being stuck in the house all the time, waiting for this bus or that one.  True, I was able to go back to school easier once the kids were in school, but my class availability is extremely restricted because I can't even leave my house until almost 9 and have to be home by 2.  That means cramming all my classes into the morning.  It's been a good week, but it's been frustrating too.  I really miss homeschooling and the kids do too.

Family Traditions, Or Lack There Of

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  We're not doing the usual big thing everyone else does.  Instead we plan on having a Thanskgiving/Christmas season change.  We're going to be setting up all of our Christmas decorations while eating turkey and enjoying other holiday foods.  This is new for us.  Usually we end up going somewhere or hosting our own Thanksgiving, but this year is different.  We're spending it at home with lots of food to anticipate having.

I'm actually kind of looking forward to this.  It's kind of fun to break tradition.  We had very strict "no Christmas before Thanksgiving" rules in our family growing up, so it's fun to be able to buck tradition and do something so different.

It's not just that tradition that's been shifted.  We have a tradition of setting the house up for Christmas on Black Friday instead of shopping.  This year we've got a birthday party to go to, and Pinkie and Link are going to be staying overnight.  We're not going to be able to do it that night and include everything, and we don't want to push it too far into the weekend.  We're definitely ready for Christmas around here.

Of course, it's not hard to be ready for Christmas.  We've already gotten so many offers to help with Christmas for the kids.  It's hard not to be ready for Christmas when we're already talking about what the kids want.

So what do the kids want for Christmas?  Pinkie is really craving some new art supplies.  She's always been the artist in the family.  She's also dying for Pokemon Sun.  I know she's not going to be reading this, so saying she'll be getting the game for Christmas is safe, for now.  Link wants anything Minecraft, as does Creeper (no surprise there).  Bear want's everything DC Superhero Girls.  All three of them are going to be getting Animal Crossing A New Leaf, that way they can play together.  Aside from the games, you'll just have to wait and see what they get for Christmas until then!

On top of it all, we found out that Kiwi Crate offers four different crate products.  Technically they've got five because there was a thing about a newborn box.  Obviously I don't need to worry about a newborn box.  We're thinking of getting the Koala Box for Bear, since it's for ages 3-4, even though it'll be for kids younger than Bear halfway through the year.  I don't think six months of the wrong craft will really be a problem.  The Kiwi Box is for kids 5-8, and that would be perfect for Creeper.  Then there's a Doodle Box of art supplies which would be perfect for Pinkie, and a Tinker Box, which would be fantastic for Link.  Both are for 9+, so that suits their ages too.  We really want to do a year's subscription.  While it's a decent amount of money, I have a feeling they'll get more attention than a magazine subscription.  If it works out we may decide to do it again every year until they kids are grown.  At that point we'll probably go back to more conventional gifts.

As you can see, I'm already ready for Christmas this year.  If it wasn't for Thanksgiving being tomorrow, I'd already be dragging out the decorations and setting up the tree.  Clearly I'm going to be ready to jump on this first thing tomorrow!

Even The Most Mundane Things.

Today was just one of those errand days, you know the kind, the ones where you've got to do something seemingly boring.  Today's mission was a trip to the pharmacy.  It's about a 3 mile walk, round trip, so right about normal for what the kids are used to.  Pinkie was at an overnight, so we just had Bear, Creeper, and Link.  They love having the opportunity to go for walks, even if it's something that promises to be boring.  I suppose I should have learned by now, even walks are never boring with these kids.  They end up being the source of crazy made up games and wild stories.  This trip was certainly no exception to that rule.  They had quite the time chatting away.  Bear in particular had all kinds of stories to tell.

The weather was beautiful out.  While we started with jackets on, it quickly got warm enough that we didn't need to wear them anymore.  Considering it's November, we're all glad we've still got the warm weather.  It's only a matter of time before it's too cold and snowy to enjoy being outside for a walk.  We're going to try and enjoy every moment of it we can.  I can foresee a number of walks like this in our future, at least until the weather starts to turn.

Getting out always means Bear has to be in top style.  Out of all the kids, Bear's the only one that cares at all about looks.  Today's look was complete with a hat I made, something that's become a constant accessory every time we leave the house.  The Frozen sunglasses matched with the shoes.  It was quite the look.

This has been something we've had to get used to with Bear.  All of the other kids have had their own quirky senses of style, generally sending the message of "don't care what I wear."  Bear, on the other hand, is a total fashionista.  This has been quite the experience, and sometimes means it takes a bit to get moving out the door.

The tiger you see here has been with us for some time now.  That was gotten for Creeper when he was still little.  Today he decided to come along for the ride.  It was fun to hear the kids all enjoy our little tag-along.  The big tragedy of the day was the tiger, named Ra-Ra, falling from Bear's lap in the stroller and getting run over.  Thankfully it was only the tail, and Bear was able to "poof" it back to healthy again.  This meant for a story about the tiger's adventures, which was particularly funny.

No trip out is complete without hungry kids commenting that they wanted lunch.  We joked about how the only way they'd get to have lunch out is if they worked in the kitchen to earn the money to pay for it.  We were going to barter them in exchange for pizza.  They all seemed to find this a funny concept and were arguing over who got sold to the pizza parlor so the rest of us could eat.  I was really surprised they didn't volunteer the dog to work as a dish washer!  She'd do such a good job.  Instead we ended up doing the traditional thing and actually paying for the pizza, of course.

Still, this gave the kids an opportunity to think about what it actually takes to get food.  You don't just walk in and order a pizza.  The money has to come from somewhere, so how do you earn your money.  What is labor really worth?  We didn't get into a serious conversation about it or anything, but they did talk about how much pizza costs and whether or not we'd have enough money.  A part of me really wants to shield them from the idea of their parents needing money and how much things cost.  I don't want them to worry.  At the same time, they may value what they have more if they actually have to think about how expensive everything really is.

We all really enjoyed our time at the pizza parlor.  We went to a little local joint, because those are always the best.  The kids each got to pick out a soda.  While it's cheaper to just get a 2 liter, it's a hassle to pick something everyone likes.  Since this was a special treat, why not make it more special.  It's not like we get soda every day.  Even I splurged and had some, breaking my almost two week streak of having no soda, but we were all getting spoiled, so I figured why not?  I can always go right back to having no soda again.  If we keep this up we might end up a soda free house, and then it will really be a special treat.

The kids got their own pepperoni pizza, with more than enough left over for dinner.  They probably would have eaten more, but we got a huge batch of french fries to go with it, which were happily devoured.  There's something special about pizza parlor french fries.  They always tend to be the best.  The kids commented on how incredibly good my salad looked, but none of them wanted to try any.  I know if Pinkie were there she would have devoured my tomatoes and olives.  Overall, it was a fantastic little adventure for our family.

Sick Kids Are No Fun...But Sick Mama?

I don't know how these things work out, but they always do.  The whole family just can't seem to get sick all at once and get it over with, or one at a time.  It's all got to happen in these weird phases that just make everything all the more complicated.

Generally the kids are the first to come down with something.  Link's had a weak immune system all his life and gets sick at the drop of a hat.  He's already had his first trip to the hospital, IV and everything, all in time for his third birthday, what a way to celebrate?  Happy birthday, you have strep throat!  Since birth if someone around him is carrying a cold or the flu, we'll know pretty soon, Link will come down with it, though he's gotten better these days.

Typically that's how it goes.  First he comes down with it, and most times it's only been him.  Thankfully he's been a lot better lately.  He doesn't get everything that everyone else gets.  I guess his body is finally catching up on resistances, something that's made me much happier because he was once sick almost all the time.  I was inspired to put him in a bubble to protect him from all the nastiness in the outside world, but if I'd done that his immune system never would have gotten stronger.  It just meant suffering through one kid that got sick at the drop of a hat with things none of the rest of us would ever catch.

More recently it's been both the older two that get sick first.  They catch the flu or a cold, probably because they're exposed to so many other kids.  I don't like sounding like kids are breeding grounds for disease, but let's face it, kids hang out with a lot of other kids, and often a big variety of them.  Adults, on the other hand, generally only see the same groups of people.  Kids also pick things up at the park or playground, and everyone knows the way diseases travel in school.  Adults don't really have those kinds of factors in our lives for the most part.  On top of that, kids immune systems aren't as strong as adults in most cases, which means they're much more likely to come down with something.  Kids also do crazy things like share snacks and drinks, pick their noses, and forget to cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze.  No one can really blame them.  That's just kids being kids.

So the kids bring home something and are sick and miserable.  This generally ends up with the kids up all night and miserable, and fighting all day because they didn't want to get the rest they needed.  I should be used to it by now, but what parent truly is?  It's never fun to have sick kids.

However, I've got to admit that when we're all sick at once, it's so much easier.  It's almost like we get to get it done and over with.  Granted, Chesh rarely gets sick, so there's always someone to take care of the sick people in the house, but even when he's sick too, we generally end up putting on something entertaining to watch while the whole family mostly ignores it and sleeps the day away, for once getting the rest we all truly need.  It's just too bad that never happens.

Instead two or three days after the kids get sick, that's when it hits me.  Maybe it's because I spend so much time trying to handle the kids when they're sick, but it always kicks me in the butt every time.  What's a small case of the sniffles for the kids turns into a major head cold for me.  They get a cough that lasts a day or two.  I get a persistent, wracking cough that lingers for weeks and doesn't seem to want to quit.  They get the flu and a little stomach upset and I end up in bed with a stomach ache for days.  Somehow it doesn't seem fair that I take care of them so they recover quickly, yet in return I end up being kept down for much longer.  What's worse is they seem to take the whole mentality of "when the cat's away" and go crazy, or worse, start arguing, whining, and causing trouble so I have to get involved when really I'd rather just lock myself in my room, buried in blankets with a perpetually hot tea by my side so I can sleep until I'm well.

It's just so frustrating that every single time this happens, I end up sick a couple days later.  What's worse is most times it ends up interfering with what the kids want to do.  I end up sick on the day that they have a play date, or I end up sick when the kids have their co-op.  It just doesn't seem fair to them that they have to miss these things because I'm sick.

If only the world were different, so that moms never got sick.  Then moms could be at home to take care of their children when they were sick without having to worry about their kids missing out on things.  It'd be nice if moms didn't have to take a sick day from work to care for their sick child only to have to take another a few days later because things turned around and now they're the one not feeling well.  It's just too bad the world doesn't work differently.

They're All Getting So Grown Up

Last night Chesh and I were hit with a striking point.  What are we going to do when the kids are grown up and out of the house?  It's something I guess most parents don't think about until their kids are older and likely to be moving out, but it just hit me.  It may be years off, but there's so much evidence that no matter how much we enjoy the moment, it's still going to happen sooner than we realize.

Thinking about that made me realize just how grown up all of my kids have gotten.  I'm not going to say that it seems like yesterday that Bunny Boo was just a baby.  Thankfully, it doesn't!  But it seems like not that long ago that she was my curly-headed girl that would bounce around with all the sass that her brother has.  She was so much shorter then!

Bunny Boo has proven how brilliant she really can be.  She's pretty good at problem solving, when she chooses to be.  She's got a wild temper and a selfish nature, but she's also got the capacity to be incredibly protective of her brothers and her friends.  Sometimes she's really too smart for her own good!  Often that ends with her making smart alec comments that make everyone roll their eyes.  She loves math and has a logical mind for science.  While she's not very good at art (which is normal for her age) she has a passion for it.  She enjoys learning about everything, as long as she doesn't have to read about it.  Even then she's starting to come around and is actually enjoying magazines.  She loves the Kids Discover Magazine and we're getting her a subscription to National Geographic Kids as well.  I kind of wish we had more to spend each year because I think we'd probably load up on magazine subscriptions!  Thankfully, the Kids Discover magazines were a gift from her aunt.

Bunny Boo also loves history and we're finding out day by day it doesn't matter much what kind of history it is, as long as it helps to explain why things are the way they are today.  The American Revolution is interesting because it's how our country became a country.  Women's suffrage is interesting because she sees it as the start of the feminist movement, and she's decided she's a modern feminist.  Her newest historic interest is inventors.  She loves hearing how science was discovered and who it was discovered by.  She also likes to know about things like who made the first car, who made the first vacuum cleaner, or who made the first cell phones.  It's amazing the things that interest her now.

Link has turned into such a comedian.  He's always looking for ways to make everyone laugh.  He loves to run around the house pretending he's a pirate, or Link (hence the reason he asked me to call him that on this blog!) from Legend of Zelda.  He's decided he likes to clean his own bowl for cereal and gets upset if anyone else wants to pour him milk or get his juice.  He's very determined to do everything he can without help, aside from writing.  He's got a serious love for music and is slowly learning how to play guitar, though it's not easy when dealing with the attention span of an energetic four year old.  It's not easy with his tiny fingers either.  It's going to take some time, but maybe we can get him some lessons before long.  He's decided he wants to grow up to be a mechanic, but he wants to work on robots, preferably transformers.  He's even decided he wants to have a car that's like a transformer when he gets older.  Of course, you know kids and how their opinions change.  While Bunny Boo is very interested in history and art above all (though science is cool too), Link is all about science and engineering.  He loves to build things.  He's becoming more and more my little scientist and engineer with every day that goes by.

It's not just taking control of his life that Link's been up to.  He's also decided he likes reading.  He's still barely reading, and it's only a few words he recognizes here and there, but he's learning.  For the most part he's been teaching himself how to read.  I'm really impressed with how far he's come!  Before long he'll be on to whole books without help, mostly because he doesn't want any help.  He just wants to do it all on his own.  He's a very independent child.

Of course, we all know with kids that what they are now may not be what they are ten years from now.  Bunny Boo may want nothing more than to be an artist now, but she may some day be a doctor.  Link might show all the signs of a budding engineer, but he may go on to be a great musician or an archaeologist.  I'm certainly not going to limit my kids to what they become in the future, but it will definitely be exciting to see how their interests evolve over the years.

Even the littlest one has really grown a lot, possibly the most.  He's talking up a storm, though sometimes he's not the easiest to understand.  "Boo" can mean just what it sounds like, "Boo!"  It can also mean broke, book, boat, and boot.  "Moo" generally means milk, but can also mean move.  "Go" is pretty clear, but sometimes also means "grow".  Even "Mama" can have an alternate meaning.  Typically he's talking to me, but sometimes he's really saying, "My, my" or "mine, mine".  We haven't quite figured out which it is.  "Ow" can mean he's hurt, but he also says it to tell us when something is hot or cold.  It's also become the way he says "out", which sometimes, confusingly, actually means in or uo.  He's decided "poo" means poop as well as pee.  "Ha" means hat and have.  "Cu" means cup, which is the only word that seems to have a single function in his vocabulary at this point.  He also likes "uh-oh", "no", and "pleesh!"  He's also decided to say "Eww..." when it comes to anything he might find icky.  He says it any time he hears someone fart or burp.  He says it when he sees something that looks icky, even if it's not.  He says it when he finds a piece of old food that he's hidden from us, or trash.  It may not be a flawless system, but at least he communicates better than he did a few short months ago!  It's a start.

I know it won't be long before all of them are moving on to even greater things.  Bunny Boo will be reading without challenges.  She'll probably be pretty good at art by then.  She might even find she likes a kind of art that isn't drawing or painting.  Link will be working on crazy inventions of his own, this time ones that aren't imaginary.  The little man will be talking like a pro and reading before we know it.  It will be hard to believe that it wasn't so long ago that they were all right where they are now.  We'll look back and think it was forever ago, but at the same time, all to little time.  It's amazing how fast they're all growing.  It just seems to be passing by all too quickly.

It's Project Time, Automotive Style!

For those of you who know us well, you know that we've been in the market for a new car.  We've been looking for something we can pick up for a very inexpensive price, knowing full well that we'd have to put some work into it.  If you've planned to spend $1,000 or less on a car, you're going to have to plan on doing some serious work to it if you want it to last out the test of time.  Otherwise it ends up being just a beater car that you plan on running into the ground.

We ended up with this car, something others might consider a hunk of junk, given how torn up it is.  She needs a paint job.  She needs some serious loving.  We're going to need to replace a lot of parts in it over time, but it's something we can do a little at a time.  Chances are we're going to put some serious money into it in March and April, possibly even May in order to make it really what we need it to be right now, but it's definitely worth it.  Chesh gets to have a project car and though it's not the greatest thing in the world, we managed a car that fits within both our timeline and our budget requirements.

This poor car has been abused.  It's been sitting in a back yard collecting dirt and dog scratches.  She needs some serious love.  She went from being well loved, babied even, to being cast off and neglected.  Now she's getting a new chance at life.  She's going to be loved and put back together.

Now, I know a lot of people would consider buying a car like this to be a waste of money.  Cars are bad for the environment and aren't all that sustainable.  However, in Texas, even if you never take the kids anywhere in the car, a car is necessary.  You need a car to do the simplest of things, from grocery shopping to working.  True, we probably don't need to put the kind of work into it that Chesh wants to put into it, but what's the point in having a car if it's not going to be something you love, right?

All in all, Chesh is looking to put at least $15,000 into this car, including the purchase price.  I know you could buy a new or nicer used car for that price, but that's not even thinking about all the other benefits you can get from an older car.  This isn't just going to be a car, but also a learning experience for the kids.  With all the money he's looking to put into the car, we're looking at effectively gutting the whole thing over the next ten years or so and replacing it all.  He's been looking at body kits, performance parts, and even what it will take to rebuild the engine entirely.  He's even planning out the perfect paint job for the car when it's complete.  By the time he's through, this won't just be a nice car, this is going to be a performance car.

You might be wondering what this has to do with homeschooling, or anything else on this blog.  At first we didn't put much thought into this car as a project car for anyone but Chesh.  With the amount of time Chesh plans to spend on this car alone, just in simple care and maintenance, this is a cheap source of entertainment that's also very practical.  However, it's evolved into something so much greater.  He and I have talked about what we're going to do with the car when it's finished.  It's going to have a lot of hard work and love in it.  Now, a lot of people will turn their project car into their son's first car, but when all is said and done, "first car" is definitely what this will be for anyone.  Performance cars are a dangerous first car to put on the road, especially if the driver doesn't know how to respect the power behind it.  Performance cars are fast and handle well, but they can also be deadly for an inexperienced driver that wants to push the car to it's furthest limits.  Driving a street-legal performance vehicle requires a sense of discipline, self control, and a great respect for the vehicle you're driving.

After a long discussion, Chesh and I have toyed with the idea of offering the car to Bunny Boo as a graduation gift from college.  If she doesn't go to college, then perhaps for landing her first job in a career field she's interested in.  We've also talked about other great accomplishments where the car might make an excellent gift, however we haven't set anything in stone.  Bunny Boo is still much too young to think about having a car any time soon.  She's not even nine yet!  However, this offer comes with a very big catch!  If she wants to have the car when she's older, she needs to earn it!  As for the cost, since Oz is going to be driving it as his car as his daily driver until it's time to hand it over, we're not going to ask her to earn a cent for parts and everything else.  We may have to reassess that when it comes down to time to get project cars for each of the boys.

Part of the whole discussion of a project car in general included the kids.  We've been talking about a project car for Chesh since he and I got together three years ago.  One of the benefits he's always listed with a project car was the potential to teach the kids about vehicle maintenance by working on the car.  Knowing how to work on cars is a valuable life skill, even if you're not going to be a mechanic.  It's nice to know how to do minor repairs when something goes wrong, and when it's something bigger, it's nice to have some idea of what the mechanic is talking about, especially as a woman.  Most mechanics will try and get as much over on a woman as they can, just because most women don't know what their mechanic is talking about.  Instead of telling them exactly where the problem is, they go through the laundry list of repairs that can be made, not all of them even necessary at that point, and try and convince the woman to do them all, not just the ones she really needs at the time.  Knowing about cars and car care is a vital life skill for anyone.

When we picked up this car, we knew that's exactly what we were getting, Chesh's project car.  One of the first things he suggested was to have Bunny Boo help him out because she's old enough.  Car care is a vital life skill, like I've already stated, and she's been begging to spend more time with Chesh.  Since she's decided official or not, he's her step-dad, she's wanted to do more stuff with him.  They have their Pokemon league, but that's not enough for her.  He thought this would be the perfect thing to give them something else to do together, even if it's just washing the car every weekend to keep it in as pristine condition as they can.  The boys will likely get involved and help where they can too, but they're a bit on the younger side and won't be able to do near as much as she will.

Bunny Boo is already hitting the point where she's really loving her time working on the car.  She's decided she likes Mazdas, so she's happy to know that it's a Mazda Mx6.  She's even named the car.  Her name is Tasha.  She's more excited about this car than she has been about many of the other projects we've started, games we've played, and things we've done.  It's a chance to learn.  It's a chance to get dirty and fix things.  It's also a chance for her to do things that boys usually do and girls are usually left out of, though she may not know that.  We haven't talked much about gender roles in our family.  Most of all, it's a chance to share something with someone she cares about a lot, but isn't quite sure how to connect with.  She's been looking for things they can have in common, things they can share, and she's very excited having just found one more.  This car could mean so much more for her than something she can drive when she's older.  This car could mean standing up in the face of gender stereotypes, learning vital life skills, and special time to share with someone very important in her life.

There are so many other lessons this car could create that it's more than just a car.  It's more than just a project that they can work on together.  This car is a life lesson, on friendship, teamwork, planning ahead, financial planning, design, mechanics, and so much more.  While we picked it up as just a cheap car to get us to the things we absolutely need to do, she's proving to be so much more!

Rebuilding Bridges with my Mother

It's been years since my mom and I talked with any kind of regularity.  She and I have grown apart over the years.  For a while I thought having a child might bring us closer together, and I guess it kind of did, but then I moved halfway across the country and it seemed like the distance between us was just as physical as it was anything else.  It was like a shocking reality of just how far apart we'd grown.

I think it was a couple of years ago that I really got upset about this and wrote in an old live journal about how I'd blamed my mom for the distance, but I think it was both of us, really.  I used to say that she just gave up because I was no longer nearby, convenient, and making all the effort.  Maybe that really was part of it.  I'm sure it probably was, but at the same time, I was going through a lot and wanted to blame everyone for my problems but me.  I didn't want to admit that I could have made a bigger effort with my family too.

For the past nearly five years I've been in Texas.  This is our fourth Christmas living in Texas and our third one actually staying in state.  I didn't think this year would be any different.  My aunt would send us a ton of cool stuff for the kids.  My grandmother would send some stuff too.  Maybe the older two would get something from their dad, but I'd never know for sure until it arrived on my doorstep.  I'd do what I could for the kids, but I never planned to get anything crazy, wild, or fancy.  That would pretty much be it.  Sander's birthday would be filled with loving gifts from my aunt and my grandmother, as well as some gifts from Chesh and I, but we wouldn't be able to do much.  That's pretty much how it goes every year.  Our gingerbread party usually only has a couple people ending in a pretty small gathering which has been really nice.  It's a small, quiet holiday.

This year I was a little surprised to see an e-mail in my inbox from my mother asking me what the kids wanted for Christmas.  She said she'd really like to get something specific for Bunny Boo, but she wanted to make sure the boys weren't left out.  She wanted to know what kinds of things they liked so she could shop for them.  She had some ideas of her own, of course, and let me tell you, after seeing all the boxes come in from my mom, I was completely shocked!  There was a lot of stuff there.

Now, let me tell you a thing or two about my mom.  Boy can that woman shop!  It's not so much that she likes to buy stuff, but the things she likes to buy.  My mom always picks out the best toys, and I think it's because she put so much time and consideration into the things she bought for my sister and I when we were younger.  She just seems to have a knack for picking out wonderful toys.  I've noticed cost doesn't seem to be much of a concern for my mother.  It's not so much that the sky's the limit for spending.  It's more that she'd rather focus on quality over cost.

For years I wondered how she managed.  We were never a family that had much money, so it was always a shock to see the piles of presents under the tree.  I suppose she had it easier, in a way, only having two children instead of three like my family has, or five like some of the families I know.  Even so, I always thought it was a Christmas miracle.  I couldn't imagine she would be able to hide all of that stuff without my sister and I noticing, not in the small apartment we lived in.  The whole idea just seemed impossible.

As I contacted my mom to let her know of each delivery and arrival, my mom and I would talk with every message.  She told me how she'd find the toys when they were on sale and hide them away no matter what time of year it was.  Then when it got close to Christmas time she only had the fun stuff to worry about.  She saved a lot of money and broke up the cost throughout the year, so the burden of Christmas shopping was much less of a problem.  Sure, she spent a lot of money on Christmas, but breaking it up throughout the year was what made it possible, and finding good sales only helped.

We've talked about a lot more than just Christmas shopping.  My mom said she hoped that we'd make cookies this year, since she loved doing it so much when we were kids.  I remember making cookies with my mom every year.  I haven't told her this yet, but we have a pancake breakfast every year to try and keep the family tradition.  It's not quite the same as what my mom used to do.  She'd go all out with eggs, bacon, sausage, and waffles.  We don't do the bacon because of the pork and turkey bacon just isn't the same.  Sausage sometimes ends up on the menu because there are so many varieties other than pork.  Eggs are a must on Christmas morning, even if I can't eat them anymore.  We top it all off with pancakes as a poor substitute for waffles.  The absence of a waffle iron makes a waffle breakfast difficult.  Some day we'll have a waffle iron and be able to keep to the tradition.  For several years we'd make fudge every year, just like my mom always did, but it's hard to get motivated without the right ingredients.  I'd meant to order some Marshmallow Fluff, but it was forgotten on the list of Christmas shopping and it's so much more expensive to order online.  The alternatives down here just aren't the same.  It's just one more thing that makes me think of my mom.

As we got to talking, she and I touched upon the idea of image.  It's hard when your friends all have their own houses and have husbands with decent jobs.  It seems like in the homeschool community there's a lot of people with money.  I'm almost embarrassed to admit we're a poor family.  It's not easy to tell people we're on WIC and food stamps when they own their own house and have two nice cars.  It's not easy to explain that we just can't afford to fly home for Christmas when they talk about taking all these trips and about their adventures in foreign countries.  I'm intimidated to have these families over to the little trailer we call home.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with our place, but it's not easy to have people look down on you, and it's hard to accept that not everyone will.

Talking with my mom reminded me of something.  She said that one of the kids we knew said we could have a nicer place if she bought us less toys.  Well, I suppose if she spent less money on my sister and I we could have had a nicer place, that's true.  How much nicer of a place is questionable, but nicer.  We would have had a less cluttered house too.  However, looking back at my childhood I don't see an apartment that must have been pretty run down by all the splinters I remember.  I see moments.  I think of my sister and I coming in from playing in the snow while my dad shoveled the stairs and the driveway, stuffing our boots and gloves on and under the radiator, and being met with fresh popcorn and hot chocolate.  I remember my dad making snow animals at the end of the stairs, and saying the neighbor complained because it made the snow harder to shovel.  I remember making cookies with my mom and from what I remember, it seemed like we did it a lot.  I remember dressing up in my school uniform and having french toast for breakfast because my mom always made us breakfast before school.  I remember learning how to use the old rotary phone.  I remember all our girl scout projects and trips.  I remember swimming with my dad at the local reservoir, and my mom taking us there almost every day in the summer and sitting there for hours, working on embroidery, while my sister and I played.  I always loved watching her with her cross stitch.  Every time we'd come back to take a peek there was something new to discover.  We'd run around like crazy kids in he forsythia bushes in our tiny front yard, pretending they were wild rabbit dens and all sorts of crazy thing.  I also remember helping my mom with our tiny garden that always seemed to grow so perfect, no matter what was going on.

I guess what I'm saying is it shouldn't matter how much money a family has, but how happy they are.  Looking back at my life, sure, I would have loved my own room or a big back yard, but not if it replaced the moments in my life.  Because of the way we were raised, my sister and I were very creative and inventive.  We were always making up our own crazy adventures.  We even decided that our American Girl dolls had a time machine and could travel to visit each other because it didn't make sense that kids from two time periods would play together.  They would have to dress up in each other's clothes and come up with some crazy story about why they were visiting.  Their families knew, of course!  How could you not know you owned a time machine?  But the contemporaries at the time couldn't know about it.  We were raised to be respectful too, and to honor the people around us.  I know at times we've shown the standard lack of respect of kids our generation, but I remember always trying to be as polite and courteous as possible.

The sacrifices my family made in lifestyle were certainly made up for on other fronts.  My sister and I learned to truly enjoy life.  I can imagine it would have been much different if my mother put all her efforts into making sure we had the nicest apartment we could afford.  I'd like to think my kids are going to go through much the same sort of thing.

There are also so many people I doubt I would have looked at twice had I been used to "higher standards". Because of the way I was raised, I realized that I wasn't like my friends with more money in many ways, but at the same rate, I was no different.  I didn't think in terms of class or money.  If I did, I surely would have passed up Chesh, who says his family is trailer trash, but that's what he came from.  He doesn't focus on having all the luxuries we may want, but he lives to see the kids brighten up and smile.  Much like my mom, he seems to take delight in seeing the kids light up when they get the perfect gift, or when they find out he's been planning a surprise for them.  He believes they should live for the moments, which is why we've gone on field trips and to events that we probably shouldn't have spent the money on.  He'd rather be poor as a pauper and in debt up to his eyeballs than deny the kids a wonderful experience they're going to remember straight into adulthood.  That really sounds like my mom, but if I'd been raised like a lot of the people I once knew, I can't help but think I'd look down on him because he grew up in a trailer park, no matter how nice he cleans up.  His bad habit of being poor because he'd rather provide a good time his family will remember now than save money for later would be highly frowned upon.  In many ways, he's just different.  I think in many ways my mom is too.

It's taken years to open up the lines of communication between us and I really hope it doesn't stop once Christmas has passed.  I know it's all too easy to get lax in communication when the holidays pass or there isn't some event to encourage talking.  I don't want to see things go that way again.

This year has been strange.  There's been a lot of good coming out of unexpected places.  There's a lot of battered and broken bridges that are finally being repaired.  It just seems like my life is being rebuilt.  It gives me a lot of hope for the new year.  It gives me hope that even with all the hard times my kids have seen, we'll make it through okay.  Some day they'll grow up and realize I did the best I could, and in reality, it really wasn't all that bad.

Theme for the Year, Useful Gifts

It's that Christmas time of year again.  Everyone is out shopping.  In our family we don't really do much of a gift exchange with the adults.  I usually exchange gifts with my partner, but that's about it.  However, kids are a very different story.

This year we've decided to go for a break from traditional.  I was originally going to hand-make all of my gifts this year, but that ambitious goal turned out to be too ambitious for me.  I figured that would cut down on consumerism, but the truth is I'll still end up buying things to make the present.  It's not like I have a sheep to sheer, then wash the fleece, card it, spin it, knit with the yarn, and some time in the process, dye it with home-made dyes that I grow at my own home.  The consumer process does happen in there, and while home-made gifts are typically the best, I honestly think there should be a some value placed on time.  Right now, it's something I just don't have enough of.

That being said, I wanted our Christmas present theme to be useful items.  Now, I know I'm going to be expecting some toys for family.  No matter what you say, nor how much you beg people not to, there are always going to be people who insist on giving toys to kids.  I've decided I'm not going to fight it.  More importantly, it's good for kids to receive toys for holidays and birthdays.  How else will they end up with new toys as they outgrow the old?

Every year my aunt has always been fantastic with flooding our house with useful things.  She sends us crayons, markers, and pencils.  There's been drawing paper, workbooks, and coloring books.  There's been crafts to decorate with and lots of other stuff to inspire creativity.  She sends books, which are always good to have.  There's so much variety, but I noticed that most of it has been useful, at least for the older two, even with a good number of toys sprinkled throughout.

Because of my aunt's inspiration and looking at my children's insane number of toys, I decided this year it's time for something different.  Last year Santa was a huge hit for bringing games to the whole family.  This year he's planning the same.  They encourage family time, togetherness, and fun.  However, this year our family is focusing on things that can inspire outside interests, and we're going to carry that through birthdays and everything.  It means knowing a lot more about my kids than what a kid of their gender and age would like.  However, it's totally worth it.  This is what makes gifts that wow.

Taking my daughter as an example, we can see what appeals to her quite easily.  Archery would be a good direction to choose.  She loves it.  She's been begging me for her own bow and arrows ever since she shot her first arrow.  She's all about art, always wanting to draw, paint, color, or otherwise create masterpieces.  I want to pick something that will appeal to those interests of hers.

My older son is really into art and music.  He likes to sing and make music on anything he can make noise on.  He loves to draw and paint too.  I want to encourage him in those fields because he needs to have interest in something other than toys.  He's got to start developing his own tastes.  He also loves science, but finding science stuff for his age isn't something I'm particularly good at.

The littlest one is really only into making messes right now, so it's hard to pick things he'd like.  He's good with coloring and seems to like the idea of painting.  Anything he can squish in his fingers is also good, so soft clays may not be a bad choice either.

I'm starting to realize that my kids have very limited interests.  They haven't experienced life as much as I might wish.  They don't really have much of an idea of what they might like to be when they grow up because they haven't experienced enough to know.  My daughter wants to be an artist and my older son wants to be a rock star, but how do they know for sure?  They haven't really had a chance to dabble in other areas of life.  Maybe my older son will always want to be a rock star, or a musician of some kind.  Maybe my daughter will always want to be an artist, but at least I hope I can open up some other options for them so they know for sure.  More importantly, if they do decide to keep those career choices, at the least maybe they'll know what direction within those careers.  Maybe my daughter will decide she wants to be a painter, an illustrator, or a potter.  Perhaps my son will want to grow up to be a classical guitarist or a musician with the orchestra.  We won't know until they get there.  All I can do is take this time to give them as many opportunities to explore as possible, and Christmas is just as good of a chance as anything else.

I feel pretty good about this Christmas.  I feel like I'm finally doing something better than just getting toys and leaving it at that.  I'm hoping that they find it as wonderful of a Christmas as I'm planning it to be.  After all, if I can't get away from consumerism, I might as well use the holiday season as a time to help my kids advance their own goals or find new areas of exploration in life.  There are plenty of people to make sure they have toys.  I know them better than anyone else, so it really should be my job to pick out the things that will inspire them this year.

Taking the Back Seat

It's that time of year again, Christmas.  It's the season of consumerism and the competition to get the best gifts every year.  I'm not that kind of person.  My children are what's important this holiday season.  There's something about seeing their smiles on Christmas day that makes it worth it to make sacrifices, even when I feel like maybe I should just step up and be the one to take credit for what I do.

For the past three years I've tried to make sure my older two get something incredibly awesome from their dad.  Often times it's meant a good deal of hurting on my part.  These were things I'd intended on getting for my own kids.  I wanted to be the ones to light up their faces the way they do.  Sometimes it kind of hurts to know that, while it was my brilliant idea, I can't take any of the credit.  I have to stand in the background and let someone else stand in the spotlight, someone who wouldn't have even come up with such a brilliant idea if I'd never brought it up.

Of course, isn't that kind of what Christmas is about?  It's about seeing the joy on the faces of the people you love.  In this case, it's knowing my kids are happy, not about my own personal pride at being the one to make them happy.  I know in my heart it's my doing that made them happy and that should matter far more than my kids knowing I was the one behind all of it.  Isn't that kind of the idea of Santa too?  It's not so important that someone knows you were the one to do something for them.  That's all a matter of pride.  It's the joy that's important, so not taking credit for something my kids get from "Santa" is worth it.

In a way, I'm also trying to do something good for the kids' father as well.  True, he's getting the credit for my brilliant idea and all he has to do is physically get the stuff with his own money, but it means something to the kids.  With how frustrated they've been at the absence of their father in their life, it makes them feel good and cared about to have their dad get them something so incredibly special.  It helps their feeling of connection with their father, even if it's not the same as if he'd made the effort himself.

I know I could be like so many other moms out there.  I could tell their father if he really cared about what the kids were into or what they wanted, he should talk to them about it.  I could just give him a vague overview.  I could just tell him something simple and vague, or to buy them things they need, like clothes.  I know a lot of moms that expect their ex to figure it out on their own or take the time with the kids to figure it out, but I don't really want to do that.  I know exactly what the gift of the year would be for my kids, and I know a part of what makes those gifts so special is who they got it from.  I don't want them to be disappointed by their father.  They've got enough disappointment in their lives.

Even so, it's really hard.  I feel like I'm shielding my kids from the harsh reality of what's going on in their relationship with their father.  I'm sure at some point they'll both realize that their dad relies on me to tell him what they're into and what to get.  I don't know if they'll appreciate it more or think less of me for letting him take all the credit.  I guess the truth of the matter is I want them to feel like they matter, even if that means letting their dad give them the things I know in my heart will truly make them happy.

The Only Way She Wants to Read

If you've been following along thus far, you already know my Bunny Boo hates to read.  Reading is like a prison sentence to her.  It's the most cruel torture a parent could come up with.  If I ever want to punish my daughter, all I would need to do is sit her down with a book to work on reading.

It hasn't always been this way.  When she was very young, three, I think, she loved reading.  She wanted me to sit down and read with her all the time.  My aunt sent her a book once and she proudly picked it up declaring One, Two Three!  I was surprised when she shoved the book in my face to see that, sure enough, One, Two, Three! was the title of the book.  She was always that way with her books.  I'd pick up a book she was familiar with and as I would follow along what I was reading with my finger, she would break in with the word, reading it for me because she knew what it said.  It made reading with her a lot of fun.  We'd spend a good deal of time reading together until I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to do something else.  After about twenty or so books, I needed a break.  My voice was worn and I was starting to feel like I had no time to do anything I wanted to.  I was just an audio book library for my daughter.  By the end of it I wanted to make that ping sound that those read-along tapes I used to have when I was younger.

Somewhere along the line, things changed.  Reading became "too hard".  Actually, everything was "too hard" if it required any effort on her part at all, even using the toilet.  I'm sure part of it had to do with her father deploying and having a new baby brother in the house, so suddenly all eyes weren't on her.  Though I tried to do special "big girl" things with her, or things her brother couldn't enjoy but was stuck tagging along for the ride, it wasn't good enough.  She's been daddy's little girl since the day she was born, and having me as a replacement for nearly fifteen months simply wasn't enough.  I would try and teach her the alphabet and she wanted nothing to do with it because I wasn't her aunt and she wanted to see her aunt.  Her aunt was the one that did the best "letters" stuff with her and I couldn't compare.  No matter what I tried to do, she always had some reason to be unhappy with it.  She wanted to move out of Texas and go back to "the snow place".  She wanted Daddy to come home right that second.  If that couldn't happen, I had to have her friends over every day.  This was followed by constant string of "I hate you, Mommy!"  Where she learned that, I'll never know, but there it was.  I have to admit, I hated Texas.  I hated the Army.  I wanted nothing more than to go back home to Massachusetts so my little girl could have her family back, even if I couldn't bring her father home.  She seemed better about not having him around when we at least had other family there to keep her mind off of everything.

When Daddy came home things got worse and things slowly went down hill from there.  Separation followed his first year back.  He deployed again and never called to speak to his kids.  We tried co-habitation for everyone's sake, with Chesh and the littlest one when my soon-to-be-ex-husband got back from his deployment, but things got far worse, and Daddy trying to step in and help her with her reading only turned into more of a disaster.  They just weren't a good personality match when it came to learning and she was just too far frustrated with the whole idea.

So with all of this, it shouldn't be surprising that reading isn't something I've had an easy time bringing her around to.  It seems to carry a lot of negative baggage for her for some reason.  However, we've been finding creative ways to get her to read.  She wants to play some of her favorite games, she's got to learn to read.  If she wants to learn about stuff she's interested in, the best thing to do is be able to read about it.  Most of what she wants to do requires reading.  It hasn't been an easy path.

Thankfully, Chesh just jumped on board with the reading.  Bunny Boo loves Pokemon.  She's been wanting to do everything with Pokemon since we got her the DS game she loved so much.  The other day Chesh decided he would teach her to play a card game.  Seeing as we didn't have any Pokemon cards on hand, Chesh asked her if she wanted to learn how to play Magic the Gathering.

Now, to give you a little bit of background, when we have adults over to play cards, we're not playing conventional card games.  More often than not, Chesh is having friends over to play Magic.  When Marrok stayed with us, he played Magic too.  Bunny Boo would often see Chesh sitting over his cards trying to figure out how to improve one of his decks or organizing his cards to put away new cards he got through purchase, Christmas presents, or trade.  He spent a good long time looking up the cards he needed to complete his collections and how much he could expect to look at in purchase cost or trade value.  He's not just a player.  He's also a collector.  On a few occasions I would sit down with Chesh and help him build a deck, or would out and out build a deck for him that he would test and modify as needed, with or without my help.  She'd seen that we both would invest a lot of time on what someone else might find a silly card game.  She'd asked about it several times, but we kept telling her she had to learn to read if she wanted to learn how to play.  Reading is a large part of the game.  True, we also played games like Munchkin, and she's seen a few rousing games of rummy, but Magic was the bulk of the card playing action among adults.

Because of this, when Chesh told her to come out to the dining room and sit down, she was curious.  She knew Chesh had his cards spread across the table for days, having to clean them up every night for dinner.  She couldn't imagine why he would want her out there while he was working with his cards.  I almost expected her snappy, much too early teen attitude response of, "What do you want now?"  It had been a long day and exasperation isn't something I'll ever deny her when she's been dealing with two brothers that want nothing to annoy her all day.  Thankfully, she refrained.

When she walked into the dining room, the cards were still all laid out.  Chesh helped her build her first deck.  Then, once they'd done that, he sat her down and taught her to play Magic.  They played one hand before she had to run off and do something else, but she did really well and almost won!  She read all the cards on her own, with a little bit of help, of course, and he taught her how to use all of the spells and creatures to her best advantage.  She really enjoyed it and hasn't stopped bugging Chesh to play again.

The other day when we went to the library we realized that if Bunny Boo wanted to keep her own library card, she would need a wallet to keep it in.  I had told her we would look for one she liked.  We went to Target, but I didn't realize they didn't have wallets for kids.  We should have probably gone to the mall.  However, she selected one that was just perfect for her.  It's square a square hard case with one of those button latches that you push to open it.  It's decorated with a brightly colored peacock.  I have to admit that I thought she would choose that one.  It was so her.  It's just the right size.  It's got a zip pocket for change, a nice little spot to tuck any money she may carry on her for whatever reason, and a couple slots for cards.  She decided to use the clear ID pocket to put her library card in.  She's so proud of it, but again, I digress.  I'm pretty good at that, aren't I?

While we were looking at wallets, Chesh decided to go look at the Magic cards.  This is a regular routine for us.  Every time we stop at a store with cards or video games he wants to check out the selection.  I didn't think anything of it until he came back with the littlest in the cart and told me to have the kids wait a few feet away because he had to ask me something.  He pointed into the cart and said, "I wanted to ask you first, since I know money is tight and we're trying to save, but I wanted to get that for Bunny Boo."  I looked down and there was a two player starter set for thePokemon Trading Card Game.  He was right.  We were supposed to be saving money.  We probably shouldn't have spent the money on her wallet, but it was something I could justify.  She would feel much more comfortable knowing I didn't have to carry her library card everywhere for her and this way she wouldn't lose it.  Besides, it wasn't expensive.  Neither were the cards, and if it gave her something to encourage her to read, it was worth it.  I know I should have said no to both expenses, but I gave in.  We would find a way to make it work, and it had been quite a while since I'd last splurged on the kids.  My daughter felt pretty left out not that long ago because we had to buy new underwear for her brother and she didn't get anything, and the baby, of course, always gets new things, even if it's just second hand clothes from friends.  She knows it's just because he's growing so fast and needs clothes to wear, but it's still hard for her.  It might do her good to see her singled out for something special.

Wouldn't you know it?  When we got home she kept begging to play her game!  When she was first told we were playing a game tonight she was thinking we could sit down and play Mousetrap or something.  She hadn't thought about her game or Magic.  All she knew was the family was going to sit down and play a game.  Instead, after sitting through reading, she was offered to play Pokemon.  Of course, reading was a stealthy, sly trick to let Chesh figure out the rules of the game before they played!  They played through once to learn how the game was played, and then it was time for bed.  You could tell.  At first she was reading the cards eagerly, but towards the end she was dropping off and getting frustrated.  Still, she was so disappointed that she couldn't play again.  We had to promise her she could play again in the morning.

As it turns out, Chesh was torn between getting her the two player starter for Magic or Pokemon, but Pokemon won out.  He figured it's more age appropriate for her and it would be something special that was just for her.  Once her brothers were old enough, if she still wanted to play, she could teach them to play too.  Given a lot of adults play Pokemon, I wouldn't be surprised if she did still play.  Now she wants to learn to read even more so she can get really good at playing.  It will be easier to win when she doesn't have to ask for help with reading her cards!

Since she started playing, she secretly announced to me that she really liked learning to read for card games. Playing those games makes her actually want to read!  It looks like we have a success!  Now I've just got to come up with other things that will be interesting and engaging enough to encourage her to read.  If she'll read for things that are truly fun and engaging with someone else, maybe that's our foot in the door.  Maybe that's all she needed to turn her focus to reading!

Our Second Library Visit (or the Things You Learn about Your Kids at the Library)

We went to the library again today.  Our books were due, so we didn't really have much of a choice.  I (of course) hadn't finished reading any of my books, and Bunny Boo (that's what she asked me to call her on my blog) hadn't either.  She'd finished two of her books, but not the third, so she requested we hang on to it a little longer so we can finish it.  We've got ten books to read together between now and November 16th.  I'm sure we can do it!  We already got through two today!

The whole family went to the library today.  Chesh decided he wanted to get his own library card.  We went to the children's library, but he enjoys books written for teens and they're short enough that he actually has the time to read through them with his busy schedule.  We actually stopped in between his interviews and errands.  We've all gotten a lot done this week!  We thought it would be a fun break from all the crazy running around to kick back and take the family to the library, all of us, as a family.

As I said, Chesh actually picked out some books!  I'm glad he did because I think I would have had my hands too full to enjoy the library without him!  My littlest decided he wanted to run around crazy.  There were so many books that he didn't know which one to pull down and look at first!  He mostly just wanted to turn the pages like the older two were doing.  I think he was a little overwhelmed by the shelves and shelves of books.  He found a chair to sit on that spun around (he's never sat on an office chair that he remembers).  He discovered they had a whole table and chair set that was just his size!  He even yelled at Chesh when he went to see what the little one was up to.  He held his hand out and screamed as if to say, "No, Dad!  You can't sit in this chair!  It's just for kids!"  He even learned that sitting at a desk can be pretty cool, especially when they have a little keyboard drawer to pull out, even if there's no computer or keyboard at it.  Leave it to him to come up with a million and one ways to enjoy exploring the library!

My older son was very interested that they had a whole library book all about "his birthday".  He knows April Fool's Day isn't a holiday just about him, but he's convinced he's special because no one else in the family has their birthday on a holiday every year.  He says he's a fool because he's an April Fool, and that means it's his job to make everyone happy all the time.  Thankfully, he does that by being very silly and rarely serious (unless he needs to be) so he doesn't even have to work too hard for that, and when he can't cheer someone up, he doesn't feel bad about it.  He knows he tried and that's good enough for him.  As he puts it, "People just need a sad day sometimes."  What wisdom for a four-year-old!  He also wanted to get out every book on Halloween and a book about Native American fables.  I really wanted to tell him he could take out the book on my card, but I know he's not ready for the responsibility of a library book, so I'd have to watch it like a hawk for him.  With everything else we have going on right now, I just wasn't ready for that added responsibility.  I told him if it's still there next time we visit (which may be sooner rather than later!) we'll get it out for him.  He's already excited for his birthday.  I promised him that as soon as he turns five, we can take him to get his own library card.  He's already putting together a list of things he wants to get books about!

However, it was Bunny Boo that surprised me today!  Originally she said she wanted to renew one book and pick out seven more, since she can have ten books out at a time now.  She decided she would keep two slots on her card open for movies.  Then, when we were counting her books so we could leave it turned out she had eleven books!  She decided to put one back (it was about voting in America) and we'd get it next time.  Since she was so thrilled about her book selection, I decided to get a movie out on my card for her.  She was thrilled!

What surprised me more than her ambitious selection to take out so many books (that I would have to read with her because she's getting good at reading, but still prefers I read the long books to her), were the books she selected.  The book she wanted on Halloween wasn't there, not surprising since Halloween is just around the corner, but she did pick out Halloween by Dennis Brindell Fradin and Halloween: Why We Celebrate It the Way We Do by Martin Hintz and Kate Hintz.  I know my daughter and her love of holidays, so that didn't surprise me.  Given Thanksgiving is not that far after Halloween, she decided to pick up Thanksgiving Day: A Time to Be Thankful as a part of the Finding Out About The Holidays series and The True Story of the First Thanksgiving from the What Really Happened series.  She also thought P Is for Pilgrim: A Thanksgiving Alphabet would be fun since she enjoys M Is For Mayflower: A Massachusetts Alphabet so much.  Both of my older kids seem to love the Alphabet Books Series.  It combines a holiday with Pilgrims!  What could be cooler?  None of these selections really surprised me, not knowing my daughter the way I do.

What I didn't expect my daughter to select were a couple books from two different parts of history that we haven't talked about.  One was only a little surprising. The other was a huge shock, given we'd talked about the subject before several times and she thought it was the most boring thing in the world every time we tried to bring it up, even recently. The first two books that weren't such as surprise were Let Women Vote from the Spotlight on American History series and You Wouldn't Want to Be a Suffragist!: A Protest Movement That's Rougher Than You Expected from the series of books bearing similar names.  The kids have all been watching Mary Poppins (almost to death) and Mrs. Banks just so happens to be a Suffragette.  I have to admit, I kind of expected her to find interest in the Women's Suffrage movement eventually, what with her mother being a feminist and all.  We read You Wouldn't Want to Be a Suffragist already and she had a lot of opinions about it.  We talked about the feminist movement, how some people to this day think women aren't as good as men.  She asked about why I changed my name when I got married, then we talked about how in some states, such as Texas, a baby born when a woman is married is required by law to take the husband's last name, whether the wife wants the child to have her husband's last name or not.  For example, if my last name was hyphenated, like...say...Smith-Adams, and my husband's last name was Adams and was never hyphenated, all of my children's names would have to be Adams unless I went through a legal name change to have it changed to Smith, or Smith-Adams.  We also talked about the way some people think jobs, like being a scientist, doctor, or engineer, aren't women's jobs, and sometimes women have to work twice as hard to prove they're just as good, if not better than the men.  I had personal experience with that in my robotics class in high school.  Several times the teacher asked one of the boys to help me because "they were stronger" or  he "didn't want me getting hurt".  The boys didn't want to work with me because no one wanted to be put on a build team with a girl.  It was frustrating.  She didn't think that was very fair at all.  We talked about how the Women's Suffrage Movement actually paved the way for a lot of the progress more modern feminists have made.  It was a wonderful conversation and I can't wait until we can sit down with that other book.  I'm even learning something too!

Now that I've gotten way off track, the subject my daughter was never interested in before, no matter how much we tried to get her interested?  Mummies.  Bunny Boo isn't really interested in much about Ancient Egypt, but mummies are a sudden fascination of hers.  Perhaps it's because there are mummies in so many cultures from all over the world, even modern mummies.  Of course, it's also Halloween, and that might have something to do with it.  The first book she picked out before we even got to the section where the Halloween books would be (since she said that was the first place she wanted to look) was Mummies: Truth and Rumors from the Truth and Rumors series.  Shortly after she picked out the holiday books she wanted, she saw a binding with a word she definitely knew how to read Mummy from the Eyewitness Books series.  I could have sworn we had that book at home, but she swears we didn't.  Only thing I can think is maybe I'd seen it before, either when I was in school or when I was working as a nanny.  We haven't read through the Eyewitness book yet, but she loved the Truth and Rumors book.  She had a good time trying to guess if each story was true or a rumor.  It contained some really fun facts and some fancy new words that she'd never heard before, like cholera, cryonic freezing, cremate, asphalt, embalmer, and resin.  She was thrilled to know that the oldest mummy known in existence was actually a dinosaur, not a person, and that there was a mummified baby mammoth too.  She's decided that mummies are now the new cool and interesting thing to know anything about, as well as archaeologists.  She thinks the most fascinating thing about archaeologists is trying to put together ideas about what people they've never met are doing from clues like the things they used, the pictures they drew, and the monuments and buildings they left behind.  I think her interest in mummies is going to take us far beyond the realm of mummies and into a whole new realm of discovery about history, learning about things that happened because there's some great mystery to solve.  You don't know anything about the people.  You can't talk to them.  You just have to solve the mystery.  Now that I think about it, a friend of hers did have a live action/role play mystery birthday party, so maybe that's where she picked up her new love of mysteries.

While my daughter isn't a strong reader, I really do hope that reading to her about subjects that interest her will show her all she can learn from books and will encourage her to read more.  She's got the skills, and she's got the ability, now all she has to do is find a reason to apply herself.  We've had both good days and bad days, so I'm hoping that it won't be long before she's realized that books and the library are her passport to anywhere she might want to go.  If she learns to read on her own, she won't need to wait for me to sit down and read to her.  She'll be able to read anything she wants whenever she wants, whether it's a fun story, or something she can learn from.  I can only hope that she'll learn to love books just as much as I do!  Thankfully, I don't think her brothers will have near as much of a problem.  They both love books and can't seem to keep their hands off of them.  Both of them already love the idea of reading, so maybe I'll be lucky.