It hasn't always been this way. When she was very young, three, I think, she loved reading. She wanted me to sit down and read with her all the time. My aunt sent her a book once and she proudly picked it up declaring One, Two Three! I was surprised when she shoved the book in my face to see that, sure enough, One, Two, Three!
was the title of the book. She was always that way with her books. I'd pick up a book she was familiar with and as I would follow along what I was reading with my finger, she would break in with the word, reading it for me because she knew what it said. It made reading with her a lot of fun. We'd spend a good deal of time reading together until I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to do something else. After about twenty or so books, I needed a break. My voice was worn and I was starting to feel like I had no time to do anything I wanted to. I was just an audio book library for my daughter. By the end of it I wanted to make that ping sound that those read-along tapes I used to have when I was younger.Somewhere along the line, things changed. Reading became "too hard". Actually, everything was "too hard" if it required any effort on her part at all, even using the toilet. I'm sure part of it had to do with her father deploying and having a new baby brother in the house, so suddenly all eyes weren't on her. Though I tried to do special "big girl" things with her, or things her brother couldn't enjoy but was stuck tagging along for the ride, it wasn't good enough. She's been daddy's little girl since the day she was born, and having me as a replacement for nearly fifteen months simply wasn't enough. I would try and teach her the alphabet and she wanted nothing to do with it because I wasn't her aunt and she wanted to see her aunt. Her aunt was the one that did the best "letters" stuff with her and I couldn't compare. No matter what I tried to do, she always had some reason to be unhappy with it. She wanted to move out of Texas and go back to "the snow place". She wanted Daddy to come home right that second. If that couldn't happen, I had to have her friends over every day. This was followed by constant string of "I hate you, Mommy!" Where she learned that, I'll never know, but there it was. I have to admit, I hated Texas. I hated the Army. I wanted nothing more than to go back home to Massachusetts so my little girl could have her family back, even if I couldn't bring her father home. She seemed better about not having him around when we at least had other family there to keep her mind off of everything.
When Daddy came home things got worse and things slowly went down hill from there. Separation followed his first year back. He deployed again and never called to speak to his kids. We tried co-habitation for everyone's sake, with Chesh and the littlest one when my soon-to-be-ex-husband got back from his deployment, but things got far worse, and Daddy trying to step in and help her with her reading only turned into more of a disaster. They just weren't a good personality match when it came to learning and she was just too far frustrated with the whole idea.
So with all of this, it shouldn't be surprising that reading isn't something I've had an easy time bringing her around to. It seems to carry a lot of negative baggage for her for some reason. However, we've been finding creative ways to get her to read. She wants to play some of her favorite games, she's got to learn to read. If she wants to learn about stuff she's interested in, the best thing to do is be able to read about it. Most of what she wants to do requires reading. It hasn't been an easy path.
Thankfully, Chesh just jumped on board with the reading. Bunny Boo loves Pokemon. She's been wanting to do everything with Pokemon since we got her the DS game she loved so much. The other day Chesh decided he would teach her to play a card game. Seeing as we didn't have any Pokemon cards on hand, Chesh asked her if she wanted to learn how to play Magic the Gathering
.Now, to give you a little bit of background, when we have adults over to play cards, we're not playing conventional card games. More often than not, Chesh is having friends over to play Magic. When Marrok stayed with us, he played Magic too. Bunny Boo would often see Chesh sitting over his cards trying to figure out how to improve one of his decks or organizing his cards to put away new cards he got through purchase, Christmas presents, or trade. He spent a good long time looking up the cards he needed to complete his collections and how much he could expect to look at in purchase cost or trade value. He's not just a player. He's also a collector. On a few occasions I would sit down with Chesh and help him build a deck, or would out and out build a deck for him that he would test and modify as needed, with or without my help. She'd seen that we both would invest a lot of time on what someone else might find a silly card game. She'd asked about it several times, but we kept telling her she had to learn to read if she wanted to learn how to play. Reading is a large part of the game. True, we also played games like Munchkin
, and she's seen a few rousing games of rummy, but Magic was the bulk of the card playing action among adults.Because of this, when Chesh told her to come out to the dining room and sit down, she was curious. She knew Chesh had his cards spread across the table for days, having to clean them up every night for dinner. She couldn't imagine why he would want her out there while he was working with his cards. I almost expected her snappy, much too early teen attitude response of, "What do you want now?" It had been a long day and exasperation isn't something I'll ever deny her when she's been dealing with two brothers that want nothing to annoy her all day. Thankfully, she refrained.
When she walked into the dining room, the cards were still all laid out. Chesh helped her build her first deck. Then, once they'd done that, he sat her down and taught her to play Magic. They played one hand before she had to run off and do something else, but she did really well and almost won! She read all the cards on her own, with a little bit of help, of course, and he taught her how to use all of the spells and creatures to her best advantage. She really enjoyed it and hasn't stopped bugging Chesh to play again.
The other day when we went to the library we realized that if Bunny Boo wanted to keep her own library card, she would need a wallet to keep it in. I had told her we would look for one she liked. We went to Target, but I didn't realize they didn't have wallets for kids. We should have probably gone to the mall. However, she selected one that was just perfect for her. It's square a square hard case with one of those button latches that you push to open it. It's decorated with a brightly colored peacock. I have to admit that I thought she would choose that one. It was so her. It's just the right size. It's got a zip pocket for change, a nice little spot to tuck any money she may carry on her for whatever reason, and a couple slots for cards. She decided to use the clear ID pocket to put her library card in. She's so proud of it, but again, I digress. I'm pretty good at that, aren't I?
While we were looking at wallets, Chesh decided to go look at the Magic cards. This is a regular routine for us. Every time we stop at a store with cards or video games he wants to check out the selection. I didn't think anything of it until he came back with the littlest in the cart and told me to have the kids wait a few feet away because he had to ask me something. He pointed into the cart and said, "I wanted to ask you first, since I know money is tight and we're trying to save, but I wanted to get that for Bunny Boo." I looked down and there was a two player starter set for thePokemon Trading Card Game
. He was right. We were supposed to be saving money. We probably shouldn't have spent the money on her wallet, but it was something I could justify. She would feel much more comfortable knowing I didn't have to carry her library card everywhere for her and this way she wouldn't lose it. Besides, it wasn't expensive. Neither were the cards, and if it gave her something to encourage her to read, it was worth it. I know I should have said no to both expenses, but I gave in. We would find a way to make it work, and it had been quite a while since I'd last splurged on the kids. My daughter felt pretty left out not that long ago because we had to buy new underwear for her brother and she didn't get anything, and the baby, of course, always gets new things, even if it's just second hand clothes from friends. She knows it's just because he's growing so fast and needs clothes to wear, but it's still hard for her. It might do her good to see her singled out for something special.Wouldn't you know it? When we got home she kept begging to play her game! When she was first told we were playing a game tonight she was thinking we could sit down and play Mousetrap or something. She hadn't thought about her game or Magic. All she knew was the family was going to sit down and play a game. Instead, after sitting through reading, she was offered to play Pokemon. Of course, reading was a stealthy, sly trick to let Chesh figure out the rules of the game before they played! They played through once to learn how the game was played, and then it was time for bed. You could tell. At first she was reading the cards eagerly, but towards the end she was dropping off and getting frustrated. Still, she was so disappointed that she couldn't play again. We had to promise her she could play again in the morning.
As it turns out, Chesh was torn between getting her the two player starter for Magic or Pokemon, but Pokemon won out. He figured it's more age appropriate for her and it would be something special that was just for her. Once her brothers were old enough, if she still wanted to play, she could teach them to play too. Given a lot of adults play Pokemon, I wouldn't be surprised if she did still play. Now she wants to learn to read even more so she can get really good at playing. It will be easier to win when she doesn't have to ask for help with reading her cards!
Since she started playing, she secretly announced to me that she really liked learning to read for card games. Playing those games makes her actually want to read! It looks like we have a success! Now I've just got to come up with other things that will be interesting and engaging enough to encourage her to read. If she'll read for things that are truly fun and engaging with someone else, maybe that's our foot in the door. Maybe that's all she needed to turn her focus to reading!
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