Things I'm Thankful For, Week Four

Okay, it's a little delayed.  I forgot to do it on Sunday, so I figured I'd just wait dramatically for the last day of the month.  Actually, I'm not sure if dramatic is so much the word for it, but this date just kind of works, so here we go!

1. I'm thankful for electric heaters.  You never realize how important heat is in your home until you don't have any.  Thanks to a friend (and soon Amazon) we're going to have plenty of warmth in our house this winter, even with all the troubles this place has to make it prone to being cold.
2. I'm thankful for Amazon.  Thanks to Amazon, I was able to get the heaters we ordered at a deep discount.  Our Christmas tree was nearly half off.  I'm also able to do all of my Christmas shopping for the kids in one stop, and it's all a lot more affordable than if I'd had to go out to each individual store.
3. I'm thankful for the post office.  So many people take things like mail for granted.  More often than not, it just delivers bills and junk mail, things no one wants to see.  For my family, we're able to send and receive things from friends and family we're no longer close enough to visit with.  It's definitely made staying in touch with friends and family that much better.
4. I'm thankful for honest children, no matter who's children they are.  Thanks to the honesty of one of the neighborhood children, our broken window is now becoming the problem of the parents of the children that broke it and we're off the hook for being responsible.
5. I'm thankful for all the people (real and fictional) that inspire my family and I.  My daughter has been inspired to take up archery.  My son is inspired to play baseball and play music.  I'm inspired to start dancing again, and maybe take up music again.  I'm also inspired to make another costume.  It's given all of us something to look forward to, and it's so much better to look forward to something than to just fill our days with idol time.  May the inspiration keep on coming!
6. I'm thankful for activities rather than just toys, video games, and diversions.  Again, I'm going to mention archery and baseball here.  Sports provide something active that involves the body, no matter what the sport.  Dance keeps me fit.  Arts allow my children to express their creativity.  Activities do something toys, video games, and other diversions will never be able to do.  Activities, such as arts and crafts, sports, and science experiments are fulfilling for body, mind, and soul.  On top of that, they're always learning experiences.  You've always got room to improve with sports.  Artistic vision can always come closer to matching what you envision in your mind's eye.  Science doesn't need to be explained as a learning experience!  There are just so many benefits to activities that these other diversions could never fill.  This is why I'm thankful for all the activities we have in our lives.
7. Most importantly, I'm thankful for life, both my own and the lives of those I love.  No one is going to live forever, so I'm so happy I'm able to share every moment with the people and things I love.  Yes, my life in particular may be hard and challenging at times, but each moment I see my children smiles, that makes it completely worth it.

The Broken Window, or Kids Being Kids

So, for those of you who are my Facebook friends, you probably already know about this.  The window in the kids' room was broken today by some kid throwing rocks.  Of course, four kids fled the scene almost immediately, and we all know how that looks.  We tried to get to the bottom of it all, and they did what you expect kids to do, covered for each other.  I've got a pretty good idea who did it, not that it matters, and from the sounds of it, he was already punished for his behavior.  I was more worried about getting a bit of honesty out of it all than I was about having some kid punished for it, but it really made me think.

When you're in a neighborhood with a lot of kids, things break.  That's just how it goes.  Kids throw rocks.  Kids play ball.  In general, kids are kids.  Narrow streets aren't really the place for kids to do much of what they do, but when they don't really have many other places to go, there really isn't much option.  Kids will be kids, and that's pretty much the way of it.

Of course, going outside, everyone saw the kids take off.  We had one of the kids that took off come to the window and point the finger on another of his friends.  He was trying to be helpful out of nowhere.  We tracked down the parents of the kids who ran, just to see if we could get a straight story.  Of course, they were all (aside from one of them) decently away from it and conveniently pinned it on a kid who was nowhere to be found after that.  This is after they said they didn't see it.  They were talking about how they didn't want to get one of their friends in trouble, but I got the idea that he was already in trouble.  There's not much I can do about the way other people raise their kids, but I was very frustrated that it came down to questioning all the neighborhood kids.

This brought a few questions to mind, the first of which being, "Where are all these kids' parents?"  Now, I know I was a bit on the sheltered side as a kid, but my mom was always within earshot.  One would think with all the kids on the street one of the parents would have seen something.  One mom (who was very nice) said she'd told the group that ran down the street to take their ball game down to the end of the street where there were fewer houses, so likely nothing would get broken.  She was upset because they kept hitting her car with their football.  She was really nice about the whole thing too.  She'd said flat out that she didn't know who it was, only that she saw them playing ball and apparently they went the opposite way than what she told her, which is worth noting because even if they didn't break the window, the least they can do is take their ball game down to the other end of the street next time so if a window breaks, they don't get the blame for it.

The next question in my mind was why kids have to be so afraid of breaking things.  I remember my friends and I breaking a window playing kick ball, and we were all terrified we were going to get in trouble.  Why should it have to be that way?  Why can't kids be rewarded or their honesty when stuff like that happens instead of thinking it's better to run away?

Perhaps it's the adults that start the whole reputation.  "You broke my window, now I'll have your hide!"  They make a whole big deal about it, when, in truth, if you live around kids, there's always the risk of something getting broken when they play.  That's just what happens.  It's different if they intentionally break or damage something, but if it's an honest accident, sure most people will be mad, but I know I'm not the only kid who's been around when a window got broken.  I know I won't be the last.  Why can't adults just take a deep breath and say, "I understand it was an accident, but you need to be more careful.  There's not much for it now, other than to fix the window.  Thank you for your honesty."  Then from there, depending on if it's a child you know really well or a child you just met, and the age of the child, you can either work it out with them on what needs to be done, or talk to their parents and see if you can all sit down and work out a solution.  Maybe they need to replace the window.  Maybe they need to do so much work at your house to "pay" for the damages.  In the case of an older kid, this would be a great solution, even if it is just doing some work on your garden or shoveling your walk.  Perhaps they just need to help out with the clean-up, if they're old enough to do it safely.  For a really young kid, maybe just a heart-felt apology along with showing that they understand why breaking something like that isn't very good would be enough.  I mean, accidents happen.  The most you can do is try to fix it and move on.  After all, you wouldn't go after a tree that fell through your window for compensation.  You wouldn't sue the lightning for striking, or a flood for ruining your garden.  The best thing you can do is show them why it would be good for them to be more careful in the future, show them how to take actions in the future to prevent it, and fix the problem, if possible.  In the case of these kids, I honestly think all I'd have wanted to hear is a heartfelt apology and a promise that they'll be more careful next time.  I'm not going to have to pay for the window to be fixed, so why should I demand they do it?  And, as a friend of mine says, "Accidents are called accidents for a reason.  If you meant to do it, it would have been called an on-purpose."  In truth, that's the best way to teach a kid to own up for mistakes that they made, and for most kids, if they know they aren't going to be in trouble and can find a way to make it better, they'll gladly take that option!

What about the parents of the kids?  It wasn't hard to see with these kids' parents why they ran.  One woman (who might very well have a guilty child as the other three targeted) blew up when her younger son was so much as asked if he saw who did it and who that child was.  She yelled at Chesh!  "You don't talk to my kid and get all up in his face.  If you've got a problem with my kid, you come to me!"  Even her own mother told her to calm down, that no one was "up in her son's face" and that we'd both already thanked him for being helpful.  Another father (who actually turned out to be very nice when he found out his son was innocent and that we weren't going to accuse him of anything) seemed to make his son afraid of getting caught.  The boy's older brother was actually very up-front about it.  He flat out called it, "Why would you run if you didn't do anything?  It makes you look like you're in trouble!  You know Dad wouldn't have been upset if you didn't run!"  Apparently the boy had already been in trouble with the management there for some other stuff he'd done.  They promised they'd keep the kid off our street for a while and supervise him, just in case he was a part of it all, because he doesn't need to get into any more trouble.  I told them the honest truth, he seemed like a good kid.  Another mom took her son back to the house and I don't want to know what happened there.  He was the likely suspect, right beneath the window when it happened and the kid that was seen throwing stuff near the houses and at windows.  But the question is whether these kids would have run or tried to cover for each other if they weren't so afraid of what would happen if they got caught?  If their parents would just try and resolve the situation, perhaps they wouldn't be so afraid of their parents finding out.  It seems like parents around here are all too quick to punish, and not quick enough to try and teach their kids to make things right.

I will say, in all of this, there was one kid who came forward with everything he knew and tried his best to be helpful.  His mom came to the door just as I was writing this.  First she asked if my mom was home.  I told her I was flattered, because I am the mom!  She was too funny about it too.  She said she heard her son was involved in the situation with my window and told him to spill, tell me everything.  He told me just as he'd told me the first time, straight off the bat.  I told his mom that's exactly what he told me from the start, and of all the kids, he was the only one to come up to me and tell me what he saw, who was involved, and help me track everyone down.  He'd given me names and houses.  On top of all that, he stuck around even when he knew he could have been in trouble for it.  I told her he was so incredibly helpful.  Even when the kids he'd pointed out started pointing fingers this way and that, he kept true to his story (though he didn't want to go into too much detail when the other kids were around, and I can't blame him).  When the kids said where they were standing when it happened, some of them changed their story around, but his story on where everyone was and what they were pretty much doing never changed.  He even told me twice that he was sorry the window was broken, wanted to help me clean up, and was glad no one got hurt and nothing else was broken!  I swear, I think his mom was ready to burst into tears!  There was no moment more touching when she said, "Come here" with that firm, but kind mother's tone.  He walked up to the top of the stairs with the look of a kid who expected to get in trouble when he was only trying to do the right thing.  She held her arms out to him and gave him a hug, thanked him, told him how proud of him she was, and that he was growing up into such a strong, kind, good man.  I swear, I almost started crying at the beauty of it all!

From what I understand now, the kids that were likely at the root of it all are kind of trouble makers anyway.  They aren't supervised and they get into a lot of trouble.  Their parents would just rather "beat it out of them" than try and take the time to find out what really happened and what could have been done about it.  One of them is apparently grounded for a year and the other one, who knows.  It's frustrating to see kids grow up like that, and this mother was really concerned that her son was hanging around with these kids.  However, I even told her how I thought she should be proud of him for doing the right thing, because that's all I ever ask, and that if some day it's him that broke my window in an accident, hopefully he'll have the courage to come to my door and tell me the story straight, because I didn't want any of them to be in trouble.  I just wanted an honest answer as to what happened.  He gave me exactly that.  I started all of this off with a concern about how many of these kids were going to grow up, but now I'm instilled with a sense of hope.  There are even more good parents out there than I thought!

Things I'm Thankful For, Week Three

We're off and flying with another week of thankfulness!  It's hard to believe that we're already three weeks into November and Thanksgiving is right around the corner.  In four days I'm going to be roasting up a turkey, cooking some squash, and (as long as we can find a way to pick them up) mashing potatoes and cooking carrots.  I think that has to be my favorite thing about Thanksgiving, the food.  For now, here's a list of things I'm thankful for this week!  I promise, I'll try not to repeat anything!

1. I'm thankful for M'lilah.  I know I don't talk much about my dance career on this blog, but she's been there since the start of it in Texas.  My first major stage debut in Texas was at one of her events and she's been nothing but supportive since.  She's having some health problems again, so she will be constantly in my thoughts and prayers, but I am incredibly thankful that she's touched my life.  I would be a much different person if I'd never met her and I'm thankful that I've been blessed by having her in my life.
2. I'm thankful for our neighbor letting us do our laundry at her house.  We're currently without a car, so it makes doing laundry challenging at best.  However, we're able to do our laundry at a friend's house and that's been a life-saver!  With everything from the move, clean and dirty, mixed up into one big mess, it's caused a lot of clothes that were otherwise clean to end up dirty.  As a result, we've got a lot of laundry to do!  Now we're able to save money and the need for a ride!
3. I'm thankful for WIC.  WIC stands for Women, Infants, and Children.  For families that income qualify, like ours does, they can receive free foods through WIC.  They support pregnant and breastfeeding mothers, infants, and children up until age five.  While they don't provide much, they do provide family staples, such as milk, cheese, bread, peanut butter, beans, and eggs.  They even provide baby food and formula.  WIC has saved us so much money over the years, even though we've had several points where our benefits have lapsed.  I know on baby food alone it can save mothers as much as $70 per month.  My family has gotten a lot of benefits from WIC, and so have a lot of other families I know.  It's definitely a service I'm thankful to have around!
4. I'm thankful for Salvation Army.  Yes, this may sound like a strange one, but I am.  Years back when my ex and I lived in a shelter our daughter went to a Salvation Army day care.  She was always being sent home with clothes, shoes, toys, crayons, and other things she might need or want.  For Easter they even put together an Easter basket for each of the kids.  It was fantastic!  While we're not using those services any longer, I'm thankful that they were there when we needed them, and that they're there for other families in need.  It's also nice to know that when we've got stuff to donate, they're more than happy to take whatever we've got!
5. I'm thankful for honest friends.  Some things have come to light thanks to a friend of mine.  She proved to me that another friend of mine did far worse than I originally anticipated.  I'm really hurt, but it feels good to have this friend come clean with me, even when the other wasn't so honest at all.  It really feels good to know I have some true friends in my life.
6. I'm thankful for pizza delivery.  On a day when I've been feeling truly under the weather, I was able to provide dinner for my kids without having to wear myself out too much.  It's our moving day food several days late!  Well, better late than never, right?
7. As my wonderful aunt reminded me recently, I'm thankful for text messages!  There's nothing like quick, easy, and immediate communication.  When you don't have the time to call, or there's simply too much noise in the background, a text can serve as a quick, easy form of communication.  Sometimes I use it so often it's easy to take for granted!

Things I'm Thankful For, Week Two

This week I've got a lot to be thankful for, but I'm going to try my hardest not to pick things I've already chosen.  At the end I'm probably going to list a few of the things I'm thankful for that are repeats of last week's post, just because I feel they're worth mentioning again with everything going on.

So, here goes, week two:

1. I am incredibly thankful for good neighbors!  If it weren't for the good neighbors we used to have, we never would have managed our move, nor would we have managed to get rides for Chesh to get to and from work.  If it weren't for a new neighbor, it would have taken a lot more time and struggling to get the furniture moved into our new place.  If it weren't for the new neighbors we just met, I think I would still feel pretty uncomfortable in our new neighborhood, but now it's already starting to feel like home!  I like it here, and it's all because of the neighbors!
2. I'm thankful for warm days and sunshine!  Until you spend an evening unpacking a truck and letting all the cold air into a house without a proper heating system, you don't realize how much of a benefit the sun is to warming up your home, and how much your house can retain from a day's worth of warmth.  We should have a proper source of heat in here soon, but until then we're going to be soaking up the sunshine and warm weather and bundling up a bit more at night.  It may only be in the low 50s by the time we go to bed, but when you've got that door open, it's cold!
3. I'm thankful for good, clean water.  You never really appreciate water until the point at which you absolutely need it.  Yes, it's nice for warm showers and baths.  It's great to be able to wash your dishes. However, the point at which I appreciate it the most is when I've been working hard and just need a little something to hydrate me.  There's nothing better than a sip of water when you need it most!
4. I'm thankful for my bed.  It may not seem like much to be thankful for, or a silly thing to think about being thankful for at all, but I remember days when I slept on an air mattress on the floor, or simply on the floor on a palate made of blankets.  It wasn't the most comfortable.  There's just something about curling up in a nice warm bed with nice warm blankets that really sets the mood for sleep.  I sleep so much more soundly knowing I have my nice, warm, comfy bed!
5. I'm thankful for the internet.  Without it, I wouldn't be able to communicate as easily with friends and family, be they near or far.  I would have to rely on local markets for price shopping.  In general, it makes my life so much easier!
6. I'm thankful for NaNoWriMo.  Never before have I had such an inspiration to get writing.  Yes, I'm a good deal behind, but I'm actually okay with that.  I know I can catch up if I put my mind to it.  A little hard work and dedication goes a long way.  At the end of it all, even if I'm not satisfied with my work, at least I know I made a good effort.  Oh, and I can't forget about how wonderful of a way it is to connect with other writers!
7. I'm thankful for living in a peaceful, quiet neighborhood.  We can't judge it too well yet, but so far it seems lovely.  It's definitely a step up from our old place where we could hear the pulsating rhythms from the club down the way.  It's a definite improvement from worrying if we were going to hear more gunshots, and being paranoid all the time about being robbed.  Everyone here seems so nice.  We've heard wonderful things about the community.  It's nice to feel like we live somewhere that's home, even if it's not my idea of an ideal living situation.  What can I say?  It's nice!

And as for the things I said I'd mention from last week?  I'm still thankful for my children.  With this move and everything, it's been a rough time.  I know they didn't want to leave the old house, but they already seem much happier here.  I'm thankful for my friends who have helped us get through this move.  I'm thankful for the women at the co-op.  I'm thankful for the weather, and that it's not yet too terribly cold.  I'm thankful for Chesh's new jobs.  I'm thankful for my aunt and all the support she's been.  I'm thankful for so many things right now that I think a list couldn't possibly contain them all!

Moving Time Again

Due to, well, a lot of circumstances, my family is moving.  At first I was really upset about this whole thing.  I didn't want to move again.  We couldn't really afford to move somewhere better than where we were at.  In my opinion, we couldn't move at all.  It was a frustrating situation, but it all worked out for the best.

We've moved from an apartment into a trailer park.  At first I figured it was just one of those modular home places that are named mobile home communities even though the houses really don't move, for the most part.  When I arrived I was shocked to see the house we were looking at actually has a trailer hitch right out front!  I was wrong!  It really is a trailer!  There's an RV parked almost across the way too.

I have to admit, when I first got here, I didn't want to give this place a chance.  My first thought was "wow...this is a neighborhood I don't want to be associated with", but I know that comes from being raised with this great idea of status.  People with money simply don't live like this.  A number of the trailers look kind of run down and it definitely doesn't look like a classy part of town.  That almost wrote it off right away.

Well, I'm glad I looked farther.  There were kids playing outside when I got here, and they all seemed to be having a great time.  The place isn't perfect for us, but it's kind of what we need right now.  The kids love the house, and as much as my snobby side hates to admit it, I actually kind of love it too.  There's a yard, though not much of one, and because it's not a fancy high-end neighborhood, they'd have no problems with me putting up a clothes line, just as long as it's secure in case the neighborhood kids try to hang on it.  They'd be thrilled to have me do some gardening as long as I mark it off well so the groundskeeper doesn't mow over it by accident.  There's lots of windows with plenty of light too.  That means a bright, sunny place, not somewhere as gloomy and dark as the last one.  Yes, it's a little drafty and we're going to have to get electric heaters because the gas heat in this particular trailer isn't all that great, but that's something we can work with.  It's warm enough that the kids aren't bothered by the temperature of the house, and that was after having the door open all night and the cold air let in because we were moving everything into the house.

What I like best about this place is the ability for the kids to go outside, and the chance to actually garden.  We may not be able to grow much, but if we can find a good area to grow some vegetables we could save ourselves a little on our grocery bill.  The neighborhood is really quiet and so far all the neighbors seem really nice.  The management is wonderful too.  From what we've been told by the people we've already met, everyone kind of looks out for everyone here, which is great.  We're out in the country too, so we're away from downtown and all the high crime areas.  Someone would actually have to put some thought about coming out here to break in or mess with the property.  Even the mailboxes go unlocked.  We'll even get to go for a decently long walk through the park to get to the mail boxes.  While some might view that as a pain, I think that's kind of nice.  The kids will enjoy going for a walk every day and it's not that far.

Last night I couldn't help thinking it felt like camping when I was standing out by the moving truck, looking up at the stars.  This is kind of a creepy place to live for me.  I've never lived in a place with such a huge expanse of sky.  The little office and the RV across the way give this place a feel of camping, not a place to permanently live.  It just seems like it should be little rows of cabins by a lake or in the mountains somewhere.  They're not the rich and ritzy places, but more the places the average family goes to camp.  It feels like a whole new adventure.  Most importantly, the kids love it, and that makes me happiest of all!

Things I'm Thankful For, Week One

A lot of people on Facebook have been doing a count-down to Thanksgiving. Each day from November 1st to Thanksgiving they will be listing one thing they are thankful for. I love the idea, but I can't get online every day, so I'm going to do it every week for the month of November. Every Sunday for the month I'm going to list seven things I'm thankful for, and that might be easier than expected with the way the past few weeks are going. So, here goes! This is my list for week one!

1. I'm thankful for my kids!  Sure, some days they drive me nuts and some days I really wish they'd lose my name and forget I'm here for an hour so I can actually get something done without a million interruptions, but those times pass.  Most of the time they're bringing the whole house tons of happiness!  When times are the worst, they give me a reason to get up and keep on moving, no matter how much I don't want to.  They give me a reason to keep on trying.  I don't know what I'd do without them.
2. I'm thankful for my fantastic aunt!  Sure, she and I don't always see eye to eye, but she's always there for me to talk to, even if she doesn't like what I have to say, even if I don't like the advice and opinions she's handing back to me (because, let's face it, sometimes the truth isn't exactly easy to hear!) Without her we'd have fewer crayons, markers, and holiday crafts.  We wouldn't have such a wonderful stock of play doh.  We wouldn't have such fantastic games, half of which I'd never even heard of before she sent them.  We wouldn't have all of the fantastic kid-friendly decorations that are just as good for putting up to decorate as they are for playing with.  That's not even starting on all of the wonderful books my aunt sends on every subject!  She's really offered the children wonderful ways to expand their minds and interests, just like she did with me when I was a kid.  Most of all?  I'm thankful for my aunt because she's always been the member of the family who has meant the most to me, something I don't know if I've ever told her before.  She's been wonderful to my family, no matter who may be a part of it or what is going on in my life.  I can't wait to live closer, or at least to be able to visit with her again.
3. I'm thankful for wonderful friends who may as well be family.  Every time bad news hits they're right there to tell me how strong I am and how they'll do everything they can to help us out.  Well, sometimes "everything they can" is nothing more than a good recommendation or someone to vent to, but that's sometimes all a person needs.  Without my friends, I think I'd be pretty lost without them.
4. I'm thankful for both of Chesh's new jobs.  He's working in the kitchen at the school district and a local restaurant.  Both jobs offer benefits and are about 20 hours per week.  That means together they're full time.  It's not the ideal situation, but it's definitely a start.  Together they're the answer to our financial struggles.
5. I'm thankful for the homeschool co-op.  The co-op is made up of a group of fantastic moms and their wonderful kids.  They're wonderful to talk to and I feel like I'm finally starting to find a community where I belong.  Better yet, the kids are making some fantastic friends their own age that aren't completely caught up in school dramas and what's trendy and in.  They're a fantastic group and I'm so glad I met them all!  Without the co-op, our lives definitely wouldn't be the same!
6. I'm thankful for the weather.  It's finally cool and bearable here in Texas.  Yes, sometimes it's a little cold for my liking without having proper winter clothes, but it's nice to be able to spend some time outside, even if today is cloudy and "miserable".  I keep hoping it will rain and then it would be the perfect day!
7. I'm thankful for family games.  Whether they're educational or purely for fun, they always make for great time to sit around the table as a family.  Lately we've been playing at least one almost every day.  We've got a pretty good variety so we're probably not going to get bored of them any time soon.  Besides, even if we do start to tire of the games we've got, they're inexpensive enough that it's easy to add a new game or two to the mix now and again, and you'd be amazed how many different card games you can find online!  That means fantastic, inexpensive family entertainment that engages everyone's minds and encourages a social atmosphere.  Even a group of adults can get behind that!

Wow!  That was pretty easy!  It's wonderful to know just how many blessings I have in my life.  Three more weeks of this is going to be incredibly easy!

The Only Way She Wants to Read

If you've been following along thus far, you already know my Bunny Boo hates to read.  Reading is like a prison sentence to her.  It's the most cruel torture a parent could come up with.  If I ever want to punish my daughter, all I would need to do is sit her down with a book to work on reading.

It hasn't always been this way.  When she was very young, three, I think, she loved reading.  She wanted me to sit down and read with her all the time.  My aunt sent her a book once and she proudly picked it up declaring One, Two Three!  I was surprised when she shoved the book in my face to see that, sure enough, One, Two, Three! was the title of the book.  She was always that way with her books.  I'd pick up a book she was familiar with and as I would follow along what I was reading with my finger, she would break in with the word, reading it for me because she knew what it said.  It made reading with her a lot of fun.  We'd spend a good deal of time reading together until I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to do something else.  After about twenty or so books, I needed a break.  My voice was worn and I was starting to feel like I had no time to do anything I wanted to.  I was just an audio book library for my daughter.  By the end of it I wanted to make that ping sound that those read-along tapes I used to have when I was younger.

Somewhere along the line, things changed.  Reading became "too hard".  Actually, everything was "too hard" if it required any effort on her part at all, even using the toilet.  I'm sure part of it had to do with her father deploying and having a new baby brother in the house, so suddenly all eyes weren't on her.  Though I tried to do special "big girl" things with her, or things her brother couldn't enjoy but was stuck tagging along for the ride, it wasn't good enough.  She's been daddy's little girl since the day she was born, and having me as a replacement for nearly fifteen months simply wasn't enough.  I would try and teach her the alphabet and she wanted nothing to do with it because I wasn't her aunt and she wanted to see her aunt.  Her aunt was the one that did the best "letters" stuff with her and I couldn't compare.  No matter what I tried to do, she always had some reason to be unhappy with it.  She wanted to move out of Texas and go back to "the snow place".  She wanted Daddy to come home right that second.  If that couldn't happen, I had to have her friends over every day.  This was followed by constant string of "I hate you, Mommy!"  Where she learned that, I'll never know, but there it was.  I have to admit, I hated Texas.  I hated the Army.  I wanted nothing more than to go back home to Massachusetts so my little girl could have her family back, even if I couldn't bring her father home.  She seemed better about not having him around when we at least had other family there to keep her mind off of everything.

When Daddy came home things got worse and things slowly went down hill from there.  Separation followed his first year back.  He deployed again and never called to speak to his kids.  We tried co-habitation for everyone's sake, with Chesh and the littlest one when my soon-to-be-ex-husband got back from his deployment, but things got far worse, and Daddy trying to step in and help her with her reading only turned into more of a disaster.  They just weren't a good personality match when it came to learning and she was just too far frustrated with the whole idea.

So with all of this, it shouldn't be surprising that reading isn't something I've had an easy time bringing her around to.  It seems to carry a lot of negative baggage for her for some reason.  However, we've been finding creative ways to get her to read.  She wants to play some of her favorite games, she's got to learn to read.  If she wants to learn about stuff she's interested in, the best thing to do is be able to read about it.  Most of what she wants to do requires reading.  It hasn't been an easy path.

Thankfully, Chesh just jumped on board with the reading.  Bunny Boo loves Pokemon.  She's been wanting to do everything with Pokemon since we got her the DS game she loved so much.  The other day Chesh decided he would teach her to play a card game.  Seeing as we didn't have any Pokemon cards on hand, Chesh asked her if she wanted to learn how to play Magic the Gathering.

Now, to give you a little bit of background, when we have adults over to play cards, we're not playing conventional card games.  More often than not, Chesh is having friends over to play Magic.  When Marrok stayed with us, he played Magic too.  Bunny Boo would often see Chesh sitting over his cards trying to figure out how to improve one of his decks or organizing his cards to put away new cards he got through purchase, Christmas presents, or trade.  He spent a good long time looking up the cards he needed to complete his collections and how much he could expect to look at in purchase cost or trade value.  He's not just a player.  He's also a collector.  On a few occasions I would sit down with Chesh and help him build a deck, or would out and out build a deck for him that he would test and modify as needed, with or without my help.  She'd seen that we both would invest a lot of time on what someone else might find a silly card game.  She'd asked about it several times, but we kept telling her she had to learn to read if she wanted to learn how to play.  Reading is a large part of the game.  True, we also played games like Munchkin, and she's seen a few rousing games of rummy, but Magic was the bulk of the card playing action among adults.

Because of this, when Chesh told her to come out to the dining room and sit down, she was curious.  She knew Chesh had his cards spread across the table for days, having to clean them up every night for dinner.  She couldn't imagine why he would want her out there while he was working with his cards.  I almost expected her snappy, much too early teen attitude response of, "What do you want now?"  It had been a long day and exasperation isn't something I'll ever deny her when she's been dealing with two brothers that want nothing to annoy her all day.  Thankfully, she refrained.

When she walked into the dining room, the cards were still all laid out.  Chesh helped her build her first deck.  Then, once they'd done that, he sat her down and taught her to play Magic.  They played one hand before she had to run off and do something else, but she did really well and almost won!  She read all the cards on her own, with a little bit of help, of course, and he taught her how to use all of the spells and creatures to her best advantage.  She really enjoyed it and hasn't stopped bugging Chesh to play again.

The other day when we went to the library we realized that if Bunny Boo wanted to keep her own library card, she would need a wallet to keep it in.  I had told her we would look for one she liked.  We went to Target, but I didn't realize they didn't have wallets for kids.  We should have probably gone to the mall.  However, she selected one that was just perfect for her.  It's square a square hard case with one of those button latches that you push to open it.  It's decorated with a brightly colored peacock.  I have to admit that I thought she would choose that one.  It was so her.  It's just the right size.  It's got a zip pocket for change, a nice little spot to tuck any money she may carry on her for whatever reason, and a couple slots for cards.  She decided to use the clear ID pocket to put her library card in.  She's so proud of it, but again, I digress.  I'm pretty good at that, aren't I?

While we were looking at wallets, Chesh decided to go look at the Magic cards.  This is a regular routine for us.  Every time we stop at a store with cards or video games he wants to check out the selection.  I didn't think anything of it until he came back with the littlest in the cart and told me to have the kids wait a few feet away because he had to ask me something.  He pointed into the cart and said, "I wanted to ask you first, since I know money is tight and we're trying to save, but I wanted to get that for Bunny Boo."  I looked down and there was a two player starter set for thePokemon Trading Card Game.  He was right.  We were supposed to be saving money.  We probably shouldn't have spent the money on her wallet, but it was something I could justify.  She would feel much more comfortable knowing I didn't have to carry her library card everywhere for her and this way she wouldn't lose it.  Besides, it wasn't expensive.  Neither were the cards, and if it gave her something to encourage her to read, it was worth it.  I know I should have said no to both expenses, but I gave in.  We would find a way to make it work, and it had been quite a while since I'd last splurged on the kids.  My daughter felt pretty left out not that long ago because we had to buy new underwear for her brother and she didn't get anything, and the baby, of course, always gets new things, even if it's just second hand clothes from friends.  She knows it's just because he's growing so fast and needs clothes to wear, but it's still hard for her.  It might do her good to see her singled out for something special.

Wouldn't you know it?  When we got home she kept begging to play her game!  When she was first told we were playing a game tonight she was thinking we could sit down and play Mousetrap or something.  She hadn't thought about her game or Magic.  All she knew was the family was going to sit down and play a game.  Instead, after sitting through reading, she was offered to play Pokemon.  Of course, reading was a stealthy, sly trick to let Chesh figure out the rules of the game before they played!  They played through once to learn how the game was played, and then it was time for bed.  You could tell.  At first she was reading the cards eagerly, but towards the end she was dropping off and getting frustrated.  Still, she was so disappointed that she couldn't play again.  We had to promise her she could play again in the morning.

As it turns out, Chesh was torn between getting her the two player starter for Magic or Pokemon, but Pokemon won out.  He figured it's more age appropriate for her and it would be something special that was just for her.  Once her brothers were old enough, if she still wanted to play, she could teach them to play too.  Given a lot of adults play Pokemon, I wouldn't be surprised if she did still play.  Now she wants to learn to read even more so she can get really good at playing.  It will be easier to win when she doesn't have to ask for help with reading her cards!

Since she started playing, she secretly announced to me that she really liked learning to read for card games. Playing those games makes her actually want to read!  It looks like we have a success!  Now I've just got to come up with other things that will be interesting and engaging enough to encourage her to read.  If she'll read for things that are truly fun and engaging with someone else, maybe that's our foot in the door.  Maybe that's all she needed to turn her focus to reading!