Homeschool Flexibility

Again, I'm praising the joys of homeschooling!  There's nothing like a system that lets you do what you want, when you want to do it.  While this is also a potential recipe for disaster, it also allows a good deal more freedom than the regular school day.

Just the other day we had a really busy schedule.  There was so much to get done and there wouldn't be time to fit school in!  Of course, if my kids were in school I wouldn't need to worry about planning in learning time.  Even with that, I would still have to plan in the time for picking up the kids.  It wouldn't be nearly as easy as things turned out.

We decided to take a day off of conventional schooling.  We took our lessons on the road.  We talked about what things cost, did our shopping, ran our errands, and got a lot done!  It wasn't the same as our usual workbook schedule, but at the very least we did get something done.  Now on Monday we'll have a chance to start fresh.  Two days were taken out of our schedule, but you know what?  The world isn't going to end.  There's always going to be days like this.  There's always going to be occasions where things aren't always going to work the way they like.  Things will come up, but we roll with it.

That's one thing you can say for homeschooling families.  They learn to just roll with things.  Yes, sometimes life turns things on it's head.  Sometimes you don't get to follow your schedule.  So what?  You'll just get back on track.  A day or two off never hurt anyone.  A change of pace is sometimes nice.

In the end I hope that my children learn to be adaptable from this whole experience.  I hope that they learn life rarely ever goes as planned, and that's not always a bad thing.  I want to help them learn to think on the fly and change their pace as the road before them warrants.  Most importantly, I want them to see that just because there's a rock in your path doesn't mean you can't still find a way around it.

Every day I find new gifts that homeschooling gives my children.  With each passing day I'm learning that my children are learning valuable life lessons just by being exposed to it.  I don't need to teach them.  It just happens through experience.  It's like magic!  Simple as that!

The Smell of Campfire

Isn't it amazing what can remind you of home when that's where you want to be?  It can be even he simplest of things.  In this case, it was the smell of campfire.  It smelled of burning leaves.  I have to admit, it's pretty easy to remind me of home these days.  Everything makes me think of it.  It's so easy to make me homesick in the fall.  In this case, I'm kind of surprised of the association.

The weather's been cooling off here in Texas.  We've been getting more rain.  The nights are starting earlier.  The wind is picking up.  It's not surprising that I'm starting to notice the transition into fall.  I love the fall, so the reminders should be everywhere.

In this case, I never expected the smell of campfire to remind me so much of home.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  I have fond memories from younger ages surrounding the smell of campfire.  I remember Girl Scouts.  I used to go camping with my troupe and there was always summer camp.  One of my fondest memories was watching my mom tend the fire, her hair braided and kept from her face with a bandanna.  My mom was never one of those gorgeous women, who always looked like a model or anything, but there was something beautiful about watching her crouch near that fire, fanning it up with a plate and throwing another log on.  My mother was truly gifted with fire.  I loved to tend the fire, yes, but more often than not, the reason I took that role was to watch my mom tending the fire.  She looked so natural there, and more beautiful than any woman I'd ever seen.

Because of those days, the smell of campfires remind me of a better time.  My mom and I haven't always been on the greatest of terms.  Sometimes we talk more than others.  Some time we don't talk at all.  Still, I have to wonder if I were to go camping with my mom and my kids if they would see what I would, that simplistic beauty of my mother, looking so at home and perfect beside the fire.  I have to wonder if my children will see the same in me.

That scent to me is so much more than fall, weather changing, and burning leaves.  It's so much more than camping with troupe 1044.  It's also that memory of my mom.  There are so many wonderful memories of her, almost all of them surrounded with nature.  If ever there was someone for me to associate as an earth mother, I think my own mother was it!

It all started with a candle that smelled of campfire...and it all ended with me missing home...

Making Progress

As you might already know, I'm getting divorced.  It's been a challenging situation.  No matter how much you agree to work together in all of this, things will always be challenging.  If they weren't, then why would you be getting divorced at all, right?

Well, I feel the need to share a shocking event in this whole divorce.  Now, I will warn you, if you known divorce, have been divorced, or have friends who have gone through divorce, this may be hard to believe.  This is so far outside the realm of a normal divorce that this could easily give you heart failure.  We had a civilized conversation and worked everything out without a problem...

Yes, I know, it's hard to believe, especially if you know the way my husband is.  It's shocking if you know what divorce does to people!  I've been dreading this whole thing.  I've been uncomfortable with the whole process.  Divorce is supposed to be so traumatic, and I just didn't want to deal with it.  There were nothing but fights about child support, car payments, and everything else.  It seemed like I was losing my best friend.

Today things were so much better.  We talked like civilized adults!  He talked to the kids and seemed genuinely interested in what they were saying.  He made some honest and well thought out comments on homeschooling and we came to a reasonable decision.  I think we're both pretty happy with the way things are rolling out.  We even worked out some of the details on affording for the kids to visit him out of state!  I finally feel like I'm getting my best friend back.

Not that long ago I had a friend tell me that divorce is something that only works between two mature and responsible adults.  I'm starting to realize just how true that is.  When things were still tender at the start of all this, we found that it was nothing but complications and trouble.  Now that we're finally starting to talk, even though it is so sterile and business-like, we're finding that this whole process is starting to work out for the best.  I'm incredibly happy with the arrangement we've made and I look forward to being able to bring the kids to visit him for the first time.  It seems like things are going to work out for the best in the end!

So while this is sad because divorce is never easy, I do feel relief that my children will be able to have two parents that can at least talk like reasonable adults.  This may not end so badly after all!

Starbucks

Wow...who would have thought I'd be supporting spending money and time at somewhere like this when I'm working so hard on saving every penny I have?  Well, the internet at home is down for who knows how long.  It only runs on one computer.  Why?  AT&T apparently only lets it's high speed internet work with it's own router.  Well, doesn't that figure?  As a result, I'm sitting here in Starbucks, sipping a vanilla bean frappuccino, and kicking around the net.

There's a benefit to this waste of money and time.  I'm able to sit here and relax, enjoy the zen.  I can watch people come in and out.  I can genuinely relax.  Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've just been able to chill outside the house without my kids?  I'm really starting to miss those days.

Years ago, before I left Boston, I used to sit at the mall in the food court or at Starbucks before and after work.  I'd leave Salem at 7am to catch the train down to Boston.  I'd always end up an hour early to work, so I'd hang out in Starbucks or the food court, eating breakfast and relaxing before the day.  After work I'd generally waste an hour sitting around in one of those two places, kicking around the net.  I couldn't catch the train home right away, so I might as well wait around and do something productive, right?  I generally didn't get home until 9 or 10pm.  It was a lot of time away from my family, but I was able to really enjoy the time I was spending.  I had a chance to sit and write, listen to podcasts, do whatever I wanted unharassed by my child.  I'd come to enjoy it!

Now I'm getting a moment of that.  I have to admit, a part of me doesn't want to get the internet at home again.  It would almost be nice not to have it, to have an excuse to hang out at Starbucks for a couple hours every so often and relax.  I think I could get used to this!

Downsizing Again...

I feel like a company that's going under.  It seems like every day I'm downsizing.  In part it's because I keep moving into smaller and smaller places with less and less space for all our stuff.  It seems like there's just no way I'm ever going to be a material person again.  I suppose that's a good thing, in a way.  Who needs all of this stuff anyway?  It's just taking up space, space that we don't have right now.  In some cases, I can make a few bucks off of it.  In some cases I'm just tossing it at GoodWill where they can make the best out of it.  It doesn't really matter (though the money would always be nice) because I'm lightening my own personal burden.

Today I've started the process of going through the house to get rid of clothes we don't need again.  A huge bag full of socks just got tossed.  They're socks no one can wear anymore, or those that have been worn to the point of developing their own sentience.  In some cases, their mate disappeared several moves ago.  I had hoped this would happen as I started making socks to replace the store bought ones, but we're not going to be so lucky.  It's time they go.  We'll keep enough around to keep our feet happy, but most of the rest of them need to go on their way.

I'm also going through my dance costumes and accessories.  I've come to realize there are just some I never wear anymore.  In some cases, I never really wore them in the first place.  It's time for them to find dancers that will love them as much as I thought I would.  Clearly, I've developed a much more particular sense of style, and the pieces I once thought suited me so well really don't anymore.  I hope I can make a few bucks off of them, after all, they were all very expensive.  In some cases, they're things I've made for myself and just need to get rid of.  I'd love to keep them, but you do what you must when times are tight, and I can always make more.  I wanted to make a business out of making and selling them anyway!

Finally, I've been sorting through all our other stuff again.  It's time to start wrangling up toys that don't get played with again, though this time it seems like there aren't many to sort out.  Most of the toys are well used and loved.  It's also a good excuse to organize and putt all the like with like again.  That probably won't happen until we finally move, since there's no place for the toys here, and we won't be staying long enough for it to make a difference.

Then there's the clothes.  My oldest daughter is my only daughter.  At this point, I've decided not to hang on to any of her clothes.  If I had a baby girl tomorrow, it would still mean holding on to them all for seven years or more, waiting for her to get big enough to wear them!  That's going to take up a lot of space.  It's not even going to be a short while, as I'm not planning on any more children yet, and if I decide to have one, I can't be sure it will be a girl.  That seems an awful big chance to save on.  Of the baby clothes, I'm keeping very limited stuff.  Anything I don't absolutely adore is going away.  I'm keeping all the little shirts, since it's hard to find shirts and not bodysuits for babies.  With the use of longies and shorties, shirts are far more practical.  I'm going to keep all of the hand knit stuff, since I adore it.  However, a lot of it really does need to go.  I'm not planning on another baby any time soon.  By then we should be in a better financial situation to buy new stuff, even if it means buying it second hand.  I'm keeping all of my older son's clothes, as that only makes sense.  In two or three years the littlest one will be growing into them, so it's not like I'll be holding them forever, and I know for certain there's another little boy to grow into them.

I'm even starting to go through all the old things I've been hanging on to for so long, like all of my old notebooks and journals.  I'm starting to sort through the projects I started and never finished.  I'm even looking to destash some of my yarn and fabric!  I know that's a shocking concept, and I may just have to destash by using it on things I can sell or use myself, but it's time I stopped holding on to things.  I can only drag it around with me for so much longer and it's starting to hold me back.  In the end, you can't take it with you, so what would be the point of holding on to it my whole life when someone else could actually use it to make something they love?

It feels good to downsize again, in a way, but at the same time, it's difficult.  It's hard to let go of things you've carried around for years.  It's hard to simply drop everything and move on.  It's also hard because it has that foreboding sense of moving again.  I can't entirely complain.  The situation we're moving into will be great to us.  We'll actually be paying rent and bills, so we're earning a good tenant history.  The place is inexpensive, so we're not paying as much as we could have to.  Our soon-to-be room mate is a wonderful person.  Finally, it will be closer to where I teach.  My partner is also winning out as he's being transferred at work to a place that will allow for more hours and a schedule he wants.  This is a wonderful, positive change for us.  It's also added incentive to get rid of all the extra baggage we've been carrying around.

As for the news on moving (if you didn't already know), it's just a stroke of bad news for the friends we're living with.  This is what happens when the economy takes a turn for the worse.  They're suffering through their own hard times.  We're parting in peace, and I really do hope they land on their feet.  I wish much the same for my own family.

For now, it's back to downsizing.  It's back to releasing the things that are holding me back.  It's time to start accepting that sometimes stuff is just stuff and all it does is get in the way.  By the time I'm done, it may feel sparse, like we have nothing, but at least we'll know the only stuff remaining is that which we'll truly enjoy.

Texas WIC

Today was our adventure to the WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) office today.  I'm the kind of person that doesn't believe in "using the system", so for a very long time I was trying to avoid having to use WIC.  My thought was I would leave the money from the program for other families, you know, the ones who really need it.  I've been on WIC before though I ended up stopping both times.  The first was benefits for my daughter when she was small.  We stopped getting them because the vouchers were too problematic.  The second time was a birth certificate issue with my youngest.  Now we're on it once again, though I was hoping we weren't going to have to.  I guess in a way it's just my sense of pride.

Years back when you were on WIC you would get vouchers or checks.  These would have a list of items you could receive on each.  It wasn't like you got a voucher for each item.  There were several listed.  For example, you could get two gallons of milk on one.  Another might have a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, and one 16oz box of cereal.  You were encouraged to buy everything on the voucher because you would lose it if you didn't.  Once the voucher was used, there was no chance to later pick up the items on it that you didn't at the time.  It's just like a check.  You can't cash half of a check and expect the bank to write you another check for the remainder until you wanted to get it cashed.  It was such a frustrating system that half the time we didn't remember the vouchers, the product list, or didn't need to get everything WIC required on a voucher.  I figured if we weren't going to use it all, we might as well not waste the systems money and everyone's time at the appointments.  Instead we'd just give it up.  We were getting by just fine without it.

Just last year I went on it again.  My older son was two, so still plenty young enough, and I was pregnant.  We weren't tight enough on money that we needed it, but we were certainly cutting it tight.  Paying for the birth center was a lot on us and we needed the extra help so we could prepare for the baby.  Anything extra was appreciated, so I went back on WIC.  The system had changed so much I didn't even know what to do with it!   I got an EBT (Electronic Benefits Transfer) card with a little chip on it that stored what we could receive on each month.  It would automatically change to the next month's benefits on the first of the month.  I was finally allowed to shop from the list for whatever I wanted or needed at the time.  I no longer had to buy specific items.  More items were added to the list as well.  Whole grain breads and tortillas are now offered, as well as some fresh produce.  WIC became far more useful, and a life-saver.  The list of remaining benefits is printed out on every receipt after the purchase, which made things even easier.  All I had to do was keep the updated shopping list and I knew I would be just fine!

That's when things got frustrating.  I was scheduled for another appointment in December, "after the baby was born".  They told me the computer just spat out a date after my due date and I could call to change it.  All I had to bring was the birth record for the baby and both my boys and I would have my benefits update.  If only it had been that easy!  Thanks to the military hospital's lack of organization and their inability to keep their patients informed, the birth certificate went through without a name.  It was a song and dance that took eight months for a birth certificate to finally be printed up and shipped.  By the time all of that was done, I had completely forgotten about WIC.  I had too much else on my mind.

While I was pregnant a woman from my birth board was told me about this guy who does financial planning assistance and all of that.  His name is Dave Ramsey and he has a program called "The Total Money Makeover".  While I haven't yet read his book, I have listened to his podcast and seen a good deal of his ideas.  The basic goal is to live debt free, be financially stable, and be prepared for most emergency situations.  I had slightly looked into it at the time, but didn't think that was the right time to worry about it.  I was re-introduced to the idea from a friend of mine's Ravelry group list.  I saw "Gonna Be Debt Free" and decided it was worth a look.  It turned out to involve the same man!

Back to the WIC thing, I had been considering going on WIC again as soon as I had gotten the baby's birth certificate in order.  By the time it finally arrived, I had considered not going on the program at all.  I figured we were financially stable not to need it, and the money from the program should be left to families that need it more.  That's when the Dave Ramsey thing comes in.  It helped me realize I wasn't using the system in a negative way.  I don't plan to live off of food stamps, welfare, and WIC benefits.  In the case of WIC, you don't get it for long anyway.  However, I do qualify, and that means I have a right to those benefits.  I pay taxes, right?  My family pays taxes as well.  They pay for this system for families who qualify.  If I qualify, shouldn't I use those to my advantage?  Wouldn't using those programs help my family find financial stability?  Wasn't that the whole point of the programs in the first place?  The idea is while I'm on WIC, food stamps, whatever I qualify for, I can start putting some money away to save for an emergency.  I can start paying off my past debts to fix my credit.  I can put my family in a better position to take care of my family.  By the time I no longer qualify we'll have money put away for emergencies and our credit will be in much better standing, which will help us with some day buying our own house.  The idea is pretty sound.

So here I am, for once in my life not feeling guilty about the need to use the benefits that are available for me.  I'm looking at this as an opportunity to get my life back together and put myself in a better financial position.  It may not be easy, but I think we'll be okay if we really make an effort at doing this.  Sitting in the WIC office for an hour and a half wasn't exactly my idea of a good use of time to get my life back on track, but I know in the end it will make a positive impact and will all be worth it.

Chore Wars!

Those of you who are of the observant sort are sure to have noticed this.  On the sidebar of the blog, there is a new addition, a character box for a Dungeons and Dragons style character.  Her name is "Mommin".  She's part of an adventuring party called "The Gypsy Band".  She undertakes daring and difficult adventures!  Mommin is a hero, working with other heroes to make the world a better place.

What kind of wondrous tasks does this "Mommin" undertake?  I'm sure you've had this question cross your mind.  Does she slay dragons?  Does she defeat demons?  Does she combat horrible monsters?  Well, I suppose in some ways, she does.  She and her adventuring party undertake only the most challenging of adventures, things like defeating the laundry monster, and taming the unruly lair in which she sleeps.  All of this she does in hopes of some gold, perhaps a valuable treasure, or even to gain a few levels, accomplish more with her life.

That's right, you heard me.  Cleaning.  The adventure party goes off in search of chores to be done, and does them.  Why?  Because a clean home is a happy home, and what better way to bring happiness to a home than to get things done?  Besides, it's kind of fun!

Here's a bit of a run down of how it works.  One person registers an account.  You select to start your own party.  You invite all your house members (or office mates!) to be a part of the party.  You select the chores you wish to be done.  You select how much experience they're worth.  You can award gold, treasure of your own design, and give a chance of random encounters with monsters of your naming.  Everyone joins up and the adventure begins!

As each party member does a chore, they mark it off as it's done, or in the case of young children, you can register them as "NPC"s and log their work for them.  As each "character" logs their chores, they gain (or lose) stats based on the chore.  There's a log of which chores are done and by what party member.    You gain level, gold, and treasure.  How you use it or what you do with it is up to you!

Now, there's actually no benefit in having gold in the game.  There's no point to the treasures found.  The game doesn't tell you what to do with that information.  Leveling up doesn't get you anything spiffy or dazzling.  It's really all on you how you play the game.  The system is simply for logging and recording.  There's all kinds of suggestions on what you can do with the rewards gained by each party member.  In our house we have a "speed potion" treasure, which can be "used" to get one soda.  There's the "never-ending-glass-of-milk" which when redeemed means you can get as much milk as you choose to drink in one sitting, instead of the regular "one glass per meal" rule we've kind of instituted.  We have a "giant bowl of cereal" which is good for one extra large bowl of cereal for breakfast, instead of just the normal size.  I'm also thinking of adding a "mind control scroll" that grants you the ability to pass one chore on to someone else.  The gold we're planning to assign a monetary value to.  That will count as an allowance.  Yes, we're putting the whole house on an allowance!  You can only spend what you earn!  Of course, that doesn't count for room mates and things, since it's only our family listed in the whole thing, but it's something we're working with right now.

We really needed something to inspire the kids to do their chores and I think I've found it.  It's a game that promotes work.  It's not flashy or dazzling, but it is kind of cute and does make the possibility for some nice rewards.  It's a good way to track how much allowance is earned.  I think it's wonderful.  For anyone who wants to check it out, you can find Chore Wars at www.chorewars.com as well as www.worldofchorecraft.com or by following my profile box in the sidebar.  Much luck to your party.  You just might need it!

She Can Read! It's a Miracle!

My daughter has been swearing to us that she doesn't know how to read.  Reading is too hard.  It's too much work.  She can't figure it out.  We all know this isn't the case because she really can read.  I know she can do it.  We were working on sounding out words all last week!

At first it was just little things.  She was doing her school work and was told to color in the paint splashes in the color that was written on each one.  I had walked away for a minute without having even read her the directions.  She had already colored half of them by the time I got back.  I was frustrated and ready to get on her about not waiting to get the directions and not following directions when I noticed that they were all done right.  I asked her about it.  "Why did you color those splats the color you did."  She responded casually, "Because that's the word that was on them."  This is not the first time she's pulled this kind of thing.  It seems quite common for her.  Actually, it seems more normal than not!

Just yesterday we were out for lunch.  We were running errands and didn't have time to run all the way home to eat.  I was feeling quite ill and forgot to pack snacks for all of us for the road.  We just decided stopping out was easier.  My daughter informed us that she wanted applesauce with whatever her order was.  My partner, not thinking to actually look at the menu, insisted that they didn't have applesauce and was wondering where she got that crazy idea.  There were no pictures of it anywhere and there was none out and easy to see.  "I know because I re..."  She cut herself off, realizing she had told us too much.  "You what?" he asked her in response.  "I read it on the sign..." she finally confessed.

With color words and things like that, I can kind of get it.  Those are short words and not terribly complex.  They're so commonly present in children's books and on shows such as Blue's Clues that it's not surprising she would pick up and learn to read her color words without me knowing.  They're also classically simple to sound out if you can't quite get them.  The word "applesauce" is a much more complex word.  It's two words strung into one, and there's that deceptive thing with the "au" not having both sounds, two silent "e"s, and a "c" that sounds like an "s", all phonics rules we haven't yet gone over.  She mastered them like a pro, all because she wanted to read off the menu.

Here I was, figuring that she didn't know how to read.  I was somehow slacking as a mother because she wasn't reading yet.  I was feeling like I'd have so much to catch up on because she'd never passed kindergarten reading level.  Boy was I wrong!  Not only is she succeeding, but she's far more advanced at this stuff than I thought!  Maybe we just need to skip the rest of the review and go straight to her grade level!  Of course, I won't do that, but we might just be finished with our review sooner than I thought at this rate!  She's just flying through it all!

Cloth Diapers, I'm already saving!

It's been a while since I've so much as thought about using cloth diapers.  It's not that I've stopped doing it.  On the contrary, it's because it's so natural, normal, and habitual at this point!  Cloth diapers are as much a part of having a baby as nursing, feeding, and any other diaper change!  I almost can't imagine using disposables anymore!  It's wonderful and freeing to think that it's become such a part of our habits!

Just for the fun of it, I tossed down a few numbers recently, just to see how we're looking financially for having used cloth diapers.  I considered how often we change the baby, how many diapers are in a pack, how much disposables cost.  I've even estimated the cost to toss in a load of laundry at a laundromat (though it's probably cheaper for us), how many diapers fit in a load, and about how often detergent needs replacing.  I figured we'd probably be pretty close by now, but we probably haven't started saving yet.  It's only been a couple of months since we've gone to cloth, right?

Well, I was completely wrong.  First of all, it's been about five months since we went exclusively to cloth diapers.  I've calculated in pretty much everything we've bought, including a probable over-estimation on yarn to make longies and shorties.  While it may not seem like much, at this point, we've already saved ourselves about $100!  That's $100 more in our pocket than we would have had to spend on diapers!  When we hit that one year mark, we're talking close to $400 that would have gone to companies such as Pampers, Luvs, Huggies, and store brand products, possibly more as the prices of disposables go up with size and by the brand name.  If you take into account buying the smaller packs in emergency cases, like all the times I forgot the diaper bag didn't get restocked on my way out the door where small packages were picked up instead, the savings surely escalates even more!

Not only are cloth diapers so easy and convenient, but I know the diaper bag is always stocked.  I always check to make sure there's extra cloth diapers and a cover, if need be, in the diaper bag.  I always restock the moment I walk in the door when I'm pulling out the dirty ones to drop in the bin for cleaning.  I've never really had any worries of needing to go buy more diapers last minute or, given our financial situation is tight, having fears of needing to scrape up change to buy more.  In a worst case kind of way, it's cheaper to scrape up quarters for one load of wash than it is to buy a pack of disposables, and that only matters if our own washer and dryer aren't working.

I've had so many people I know tell me "I could never do cloth diapers!  They're just so gross!"  These days it makes me want to laugh and say, "I could never do disposable diapers!  All that that wasted energy to produce them, all that money wasted, all that space in landfills!  The idea is just appalling!"  I'm glad I've gone over to the dark side and started using cloth.  The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner!

10 Reasons Why I Love Homeschooling

Here are just my own reasons.  If you happen to be a homeschooling family and want to throw your own reasons on the list, please do!

1. My children aren't labeled.  I don't have to call them "dyslexic" or say that they have "ADHD" because they want to bounce around and be kids.  Their labels don't give them excuses and cop-outs.  They don't have to worry about being "gifted" or having a "learning disability".  They're just who they are, for all the good and bad of it.
2. The classroom can be anywhere, and field trips are so much more common!
3. I can change the lessons to match my kids' interests, rather than being stuck helping them through whatever homework they're assigned.
4. I'm getting to learn too!
5. Kids in school hang out at school.  Families who homeschool hang out with other homeschooling families.  That means I get to make new friends too!
6. I know the quality of my children's education.  If I have a problem with it, I don't need to fight with the school to get it fixed.  I just change it!
7. I never have to worry about being on time to pick up the kids, snow days, or any of that!
8. I don't have to worry about tests, grading, or other competitive systems.  Each child has no one to compete with but themselves.  They still master the knowledge and don't feel bad because they made a few mistakes on some quiz.
9. We set our own hours, days off, and vacations.  Who needs to worry about a school calendar when you can change it whenever you want or need!
10. And the best thing about homeschooling?  Of course, getting to be at home with my kids each day, taking part in their experiences as they grow and learn about the world around them, not having to miss a thing!

Homeschooling Success?

Looks like we're making progress!  While there have been times where I feel like I'm wasting my time, bashing my head against the wall with a child that cares nothing about learning, in the end I'm finding it's worth it.  My daughter is actually learning.  She's just trying to make it as difficult as possible for me in the mean time!  At least, that's how it feels.

I suppose some of it is my fault.  For a variety of reasons it's been six months since we've done any homeschooling at all.  Before that we kind of went at it with no sense of regularity.  We kind of picked up now and again with no schedule, no sense of routine.  We picked up when it was convenient and made up lessons on the fly.  Our time was totally unstructured and chaotic.  Because of this, I shouldn't have been surprised that homeschooling turned into such a nightmare.  Of course she wouldn't want to sit down and do the work!  She hadn't had to in so incredibly long!  Isn't it more fun to play anyway?

For the past couple of days I began to consider putting my daughter in school.  She wasn't learning at home.  It was clear that I hadn't been doing my job and now she was incredibly far behind.  Every day was a fight over kindergarten level work, something that should be easy for her.  She didn't know her letters!  Can you believe that?  At seven years old, she didn't know her letters!  She barely knew her numbers!  I was thinking I had really made a mess of this!  Maybe I should have started her back on preschool!  It had been this way since we started the school year.

As the days went on I realized that it wasn't so much that she didn't know her letters.  She didn't want to do the work.  She was fighting me every step of the way because she didn't want to do the things she was required to do.  It wasn't that she didn't know her letters.  She just didn't want to be bothered with it.  It wasn't that she didn't know her numbers.  She just didn't care to do it right.  I will admit, knowing how to spell words wasn't exactly something we had gone over, but she did know the basics of reading, and had been able to read a decent amount, all considering.  That was the point where I was ready to send her off to school.  I just couldn't take the fight anymore!

Well, we're starting to sink into a routine, finally.  It took doing nothing but school work all day yesterday to get her to co-operate, but we're there.  She's not fighting me today as bad as she was yesterday.  She's readily identifying letters and sounds that she knows.  There's still confusion with similar looking or sounding letters, but she corrects herself pretty quickly.  There's none of this tantrum of "I don't know!"  I'm sure we'll still have problems, but at least the day is off to a good start.

I know part of this comes from her dad.  I can't count the number of times where he would get frustrated and give up on her. She would bother him and throw a tantrum until he couldn't take it anymore and would give up.  He'd tell her to do whatever she wanted and not care anymore.  After that, she's learned that if she throws a big enough tantrum, she can get out of anything.

Yesterday was our stand-off, my daughter and I.  She was determined not to do her school work.  I was determined that she would.  We started around nine in the morning.  We got off to a roaring start, literally, her roaring in a tantrum because she didn't know her letters.  (Lo and behold, later in the day she proved that she really did know them all along.)  We kept at it until almost 9pm!  That's twelve hours of schooling!  All she had to do in that time was ten pages in each of her four workbooks.  I know forty pages may seem like a lot, but that's only a little more than what she has been doing every day, and it's kindergarten work, which should be incredibly easy for her.  In all of that, she ended up going to bed with the last ten pages not done.

Today things started off just the opposite.  We had a roaring start in just the opposite way.  My daughter cruised through ten pages in her phonics book in near no time at all.  She's been working on her writing book today.  While she's slowed down a little, that's largely in part because there's a lot of drawing in today's work.  She's drawing things she can observe with her five senses.  What that has to do with writing, I'm not entirely sure, but it's something a little more fun.  I have a feeling she's going to cruise through the work we have for today.  She's flying through today without so much as a complaint.  It feels like we're making progress!  Perhaps we can actually get to the fun arts and crafts stuff by the end of the day!

So, while I was thinking I was a total failure at this whole homeschooling thing, I'm starting to realize I wasn't such a failure at all.  I know part of this was my own slacking.  If we'd gotten back on track sooner, or kept better structure from the start, there wouldn't be so much fighting it.  Better still, I'm coming to realize this work really is too easy for my daughter, and not just the math!  She's always been about on grade level with her math work, if not ahead.  Reading and writing, on the other hand, I've always thought perhaps she was falling behind.  Now I'm starting to wonder if I'd completely underestimated her.  She knows a good deal more than she lets on!  So maybe I am more successful at this whole thing than I thought I was.

Adjustments: I'm not a Morning Person!

My schedule has never been what one would call "average".  I had a horrible habit of staying up way too late and not getting up early enough in the morning.  As a result, my kids would end up staying up well past a good bed time for children and getting on a regular routine was all but impossible.

I have to admit, in certain living situations, it's been all but impossible to get onto a regular sleep schedule.  With my partner working late at night for some jobs, or room mates who would want to stay up all night and chat, it's been all too easy to find myself in bed far later than I needed to be.  Getting up in the morning was always a struggle, and if I got to exhausted during the day, I could always take a nap, not something that would ever help me get a good night's sleep.

I'm sure it doesn't help that staying up is how I deal with stress.  I push myself to the point of exhaustion if that's what it takes so I can sleep at night.  I'm not exactly the kind of person who drifts right off into a blissful sleep, or just plain knocks out from exhaustion.  Stress has me up all night long, and there's been a lot of that in my life.  I'm not saying my life is miserable or anything like that.  It's definitely not!  However, moving, getting on a new schedule, and all of that does come with it's own special brand of stress, not something I'm particularly good at handling, but definitely need to work on.

For the past week or so, I've been making an effort to get up early.  We're not talking "cock's first crow" kind of early.  We're talking about being up before the alarm goes off to remind me about homeschooling.  I'm usually up by eight these days, if I can at all manage, even though that has still been a struggle.  By next week I hope to make it an hour earlier.

This whole up in the morning thing has helped in a lot of ways.  The kids are going to bed earlier, and are up earlier, so I'm able to be up with them.  We're able to start school bright and early in the morning so we can get more done during the day.  I feel so much more accomplished.

A side of this whole morning thing that I hadn't much thought of until now is energy conservation.  Energy usage tends to be lower when you're up in the morning, making the most of the sunlight, and sleeping when it's actually dark.  Of course, there's the obvious way to save energy.  Opening up the curtains and blinds to let the sunlight in will save money on electric lighting.  Day time is also typically warmer than the evening.  On a nice day you can open up the windows and let some fresh air in, saving on your heating or air conditioning bill.  Sun filtering in through the windows can also warm the house, which can also save on expenses and resources.  Turning the temperature down slightly at night will mean the heater doesn't have to work quite as hard for that time period, and it's far easier to sleep bundled up in blankets than to run around bundled up all day long.  It's the best way to make use of natural resources.

Being awake in the morning also has other advantages.  Just like the old farming communities, any gardens, compost, or anything like that is easier to tend during daylight hours.  Any crop watering should be done first thing in the morning or in the evening, so this is an excellent time to tend the garden and care for that which you're producing on your own.  Getting out and getting everything done in the morning means having the freedom to spend time with the family in the evening while trying to wind down, instead of trying to get it all done in a hurry before everyone's bed times.  For those who homeschool, starting in the morning means there's more time in the afternoon to take care of errands and all of that.  Bills can be handled and mailed out before the mailman comes to pick it all up, if you're even the sort of person to send bills in the mail anymore.  Of course, they can also be done early while still fresh in your mind.  Cleaning can be done bright and early so there's very little to worry about until the end of the day.  Best of all, there's no reason to worry if stores and banks will still be open by the time you get there.

I'm finding the longer I'm in this habit of getting up in the morning, the more ready I am to face the day.  Who knew such a small habit change would have such an impact on my whole life?

Thankful for Teas

A few months back I know I had mentioned my attempts to get off of soda and caffeine.  Let me tell you, that was a horrible failure.  It wasn't long before I was drinking sodas more often than I had before!  I guess that's the trial of it all!  It's hard to kick a habit when it's easier not to.  It also doesn't help that the readily available water isn't so delightful to drink.  Texas tap water leaves much to be desired.

Well, I'm trying it again.  I've already pretty much succeeded at kicking the caffeine.  The only soda I drink now is root beer, with the occasional break for something else.  That much is a definite improvement.  Not only am I doing something better for my body, but I'm showing a good example for my children, something I also find incredibly important.

When I was a child I remember my mother drinking soda what seemed all the time.  While I have vague memory of my mother having milk in the morning, I never actually remember her drinking it.  It's more that she told me she did, so it must be true.  The refridgerator was always filled with diet coke and it seemed when she needed a drink, that's always what she had.  My sister and I were always told to have juice, milk, or water more frequently, but I do remember my mother and her sodas.

I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that I grew up to be much the same way.  All too often I'll grab a soda to quench my thirst, even though I know it won't work and I would be better with water.  I find myself doing exactly what my mom cautioned my sister and I never to do, but always did herself, drinking soda first thing in the morning.  I didn't even think about how bad it had grown until my room, not having a trash barrel in it at the moment, got cluttered with cans.  I realized then that I had a problem.  I kept telling myself I would cut back, but never really put much effort into it.

Just last night I had the urge to drink some tea.  I used to be a big drinker of tea and hot chocolate.  Both were lovely on cool fall days, straight through the winter.  I would turn to tea and hot chocolate because they had such a calming effect on me.  No matter how hectic things got, I could always sit down with a cup of tea and relax.  Even when I was at work, I always knew a cup of tea would be just the answer.

Here I am now, sitting down and typing, and what is the drink I have beside me?  All to often it would be soda.  All too often I'd be drinking it down, not even really enjoying it anymore.  I would have to guard that soda against my son who would sneak up and steal it, drinking it all down when I wasn't looking.  Instead, I have my tea, the tea I don't have to worry about guarding.  Even if he did decide to drink it all down, it's just lemon tea.  It's not bad for him.  It's actually quite good for him!  It's hydrating, warm, and quite tasteful.  I'd almost forgotten how wonderful tea was!

So for many reasons, I'm thankful for my tea today.  It's a way to calm my stressed out nerves.  It's a way to sit back and relax.  It's one more step towards freedom from soda, so hopefully I'll actually be able to enjoy my soda when I have it.  I'm thankful for tea because it's showing my children that you can always have a drink in your hand.  It doesn't have to be water.  With all the contraversy over the sugar in juice these days, I'm showing them they don't need that either.  Instead, I'm showing them that there is a healthy option that's easy and so delightful on cool fall days.

Hmm...thinking about it, maybe it's time my daughter and I had a tea party!

What Makes a Good Reader

It started two nights ago, this wonderful habit of reading to the girls as they get ready for bed.  This used to be something my daughter and I would do every night, but with the move we stopped.  I'm not even sure why we stopped, but we did.  I decided not that long ago to pick it up again, starting with Peter Pan.

The girls seem to love the story.  Of course, the older two generally drop off to sleep before the chapter is even done, so I doubt how much they actually retain.  However, this is a good experience for all of us.  I get practice with my skills at reading aloud and they are exposed to classic literature, something they may not otherwise.

This got me thinking about reading.   I've realized that I'm a horrible reader at stories like these unless I am well familiar.  I don't know the proper inflection and emphasis, and I'm horrible at making it up on the fly.  I need to practice with a book before I'm ready to read it for an audience, even if it is just children.  To some degree, I'm finding that I have a hard time following the track of the story myself because I'm not a wonderful reader.  I get the general gist of it, but I miss some of the more subtle and wonderful details.

Reading is something there isn't much emphasis put on in this country.  Children learn to read and that's all well and good, but they don't really learn to read well.  It seems the idea is to get them to read each individual word on the page and understand the general context, but they aren't expected to be able to read it for an audience.  They aren't expected to bring the story to life with a richness and depth, the way I've hear good readers do.  It makes the story so much less enjoyable.

I have to say, there is a difference.  I remember there was this Grisham novel, though I couldn't say which.  I tried to read it on my own, but I hated it.  I swore I would never read any of his works.  It was just so dry and wordy that I couldn't possibly plow my way through it.  That summer my mother decided to bring it with us on our road trip to Williamsburg, Virginia.  I rolled my eyes at the thought and figured it would be a good excuse to sleep the whole way.  However, once I heard the reader's beautiful, rich, deep voice with that accent most associate with a Southern gentleman, I was sold.  The words positively dripped off his tongue and I was so drawn into the story that I had completely forgotten I hated it and couldn't bear to read through it.  The same goes for many classic works as well.  I had tried to read The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, but I could never bear to put myself through it until I heard Chip's narration while listening to CraftLit.

Perhaps more emphasis should be put on not only reading, but reading well.  If there was more reason to read out loud, and read the story two or three times to perfect the telling, readers in this country would be better for it.  The solution seems to be reading aloud as often as possible and to anyone who will listen.  Read to the dog if that's what it takes, but read.  The more you do it, the better you'll get.

At my house, I'm starting with simply reading to the children.  My partner and I have decided we need to sit down and read novels to each other, just for something fun we can share.  We want to focus on the classics, taking turns with reading through chapters.  Maybe some day I'll turn it into a special book club.  Instead of just meeting each week to discuss the book, we'll meet up and actually read the book together, like in school, and then share our thoughts on the piece.  Wouldn't that be wonderful?

In the end, I hope that my children don't suffer the same fate.  I hope they have a chance to view the world from the eyes of a wonderful reader, someone who can bring to life the very feel of a story through their own voice and tone.  I hope they share that with their children, far off when they have their own.  Most of all, I hope that they learn to love books as much as I do.  I hope they see the value of these stories I hold so dear, and, unlike their mother, don't have to wait until adulthood to learn to bring those stories to life.

Sustainability Tip: Warm and Woolies

The weather change has once again got me thinking.  As the temperatures drop in other areas of the country, heat will start coming on.  It will seem like no time at all before our own heat comes on.  For some families, this can be a time of excess and waste of energy.  I know I'm usually guilty of that one.  I'll admit, I'm happiest when the temperature is about seventy-five.  In the summer, that's great!  I save a good deal on my electricity bill because my air conditioner isn't cranking as much as every other house on the block.  I'll be honest, in the summer I sometimes push my home temperature all the way up to eighty.  Some find it too warm, but I find the amount I save on electricity to be worth it.  In the winter, on the other hand, that's one of the worst things you can do.

When I was younger my family liked to keep the house warm.  I remember someone saying that they didn't feel right having to put on a sweater to keep warm in their own home.  They would rather be warm enough from the start.  In other people's homes I always felt quite chilly and I hated it.  I didn't see the point in keeping your home so uncomfortably cold.  It made more sense to keep warm on cold days.  I didn't realize then how many reasons there could be for this.

Keeping a house set at a cool temperature in the winter, of course, will save on your bill.  It's one way to shave off a few bucks on electricity, gas, or oil bill every winter, just as I do with my air conditioner in the summer.  That extra money can go to so many different things, towards financial freedom and living a debt free life to sustainability improvements to practical things like the grocery bill or savings.  This is a huge help to families who use oil heat, as oil can be quite expensive.

On another side of things, turning the heat down a bit in the winter will also help the environment.  No matter what you use to heat your house, there is a likelihood that it's related to some form of pollution.  Because of this use of electricity, gas, or oil, more must be produced or processed.  These facilities to produce or process that which brings us warmth produce their own impact on the environment.  Even wood burning and pellet stoves produce their own pollution.  Only those who use environmentally friendly means to heat their house, such as with solar heating, or use thermal insulation from the earth, can crank the heat however they like it without negative impact to the environment.

So remember as this year comes in, keep that thermostat turned down.  If you don't like living in a cold house, bust out the warm and woolies.  This is a perfect time to show off that cute pair of slippers you made for yourself.  What better time to pull out your favorite sweaters or sweatshirts?  Start the fashion trend of wearing a beret, hat, or even a decorative scarf or shawl in the house.  There's no reason dressing warm should make you feel like you've got to "dress like a mom".  Have fun with it.

Nap Time/Quiet Time

I think I need to start introducing a regular nap time for my family.  There comes a point in the day where everyone's off at school and there's no one here but us.  I find I can't get anything done with having to be dedicated to homeschooling and taking care of the children, so I often don't get anything done at all.  I try to multitask, but we all know where that ends up.  Doing more than one thing at once generally results in both things getting done very poorly.

With my two boys, we still need nap times.  The youngest one still takes about two naps a day.  The older one takes one long nap, but lately it's been a fight to get him down to sleep.  My daughter is generally too old for naps, but I'm finding that she does still need one every once in a while.  Having a regular bed time doesn't always mean she gets enough sleep.  Even if she's not napping, she can have some quiet time to look at books where she isn't going to be making a lot of noise and waking up the younger two.

The wonderful thing about having quiet time during the day is the freedom to get the things I need to do accomplished, as long as I'm not making enough noise and waking everyone up.  I can fold and put away laundry.  I can start working on our budget.  I can even kick back and work on some knitting or sewing while listening to a podcast on headphones.  I might even find time to read a book!  This will give me a chance to be something other than the woman in demand all the time.  I can have a breather and just be me for a while in the middle of the day.

It's just nice to have a break sometimes.  It helps remind me to take a step back.  I spend so much of my day focusing on everyone else that sometimes it helps to spend some time on what I need to do.

Preparing for Fall

In Texas, fall isn't what I'm used to.  The temperatures don't drop as much.  The leaves don't really go anywhere at all.  The wind picks up some, and evenings do get a bit of a chill, but it's not like back in New England.  Over the three years I've been here, I've had to learn a whole new way to prepare for winter.

This time of year back home was filled with preparations for fall activities and on into winter.  A lot of families started picking up heavy winter coats and snow boots for their children if the ones from last year were outgrown.  Scarves, hats, and mittens start to be found.  Warm, heavy socks are found in preparation for those first chills.  It may be too early in the year to worry about wearing them, but it never hurt to have them on hand.  When the weather turned, which always seemed to start earlier than expected, you would want to know exactly where all of it was.

Here in Texas, fall is rather different.  During the day it stays quite hot, and often does straight through the winter.  We've been known to have ninety degree days in January or February, matched with below freezing nights.  Fall weather means digging out all the layers, that way you can prepare for all the changing temperatures, and the whole range of weather.

All summer long it's hot and humid.  There seems to be no break from it all.  Occasionally as summer starts to give way there's a few scattered storms as hurricanes hit the coast and gulf, blowing rain and clouds out our way.  Usually it's fall where the rains start to come in, though it's never much.  The temperatures can be quite nice and breezy, with just a hint of cool enough for a sweater early on.  Early fall is rather mild in Texas, providing a break from the brutality of summer's heat and sun, a slow preparation for what is yet to come.

Of course, this is the perfect time to prepare for later in the fall.  While now it may be quite nice out, later in fall the weather is much more of a challenge.  Now is the time to start digging out sweaters, or buying new ones.  You want to be prepared for the days of layering.  Come late October and November you want to be prepared for the layers you may need to put on early in the morning or late at night, but not dress in a way where it's impossible to take them off when the day turns so warm and pleasant.

This is where I'm at right now.  It's time to look into new sneakers for the children while it's still nice enough out to wear sandals.  It's time to dig out sweaters before they'll need them.  I'll need to pair all the mittens and be sure they are easy to find for when we'll need it.  Hats need to be found and light jackets need to be checked for fit.  Travel means packing the car with all sorts of extras "just in case it gets cool", a concept I wasn't so painfully aware of in New England.  The diaper bag needs to be stocked with a sweater, hat, and socks at all times, and it may even be time to start looking for a jacket for the baby.  I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I should just leave a packed suitcase in the car with all of our "just in case" items for the weather.

That seems to be the challenge of Texas.  Preparing for Fall means being ready for anything at a moments notice.  Dressing for the weather is impossible.  Knowing whether a hot lunch would be so much better than something cold is impossible to guess.  Planning ahead is next to impossible when it comes to the weather.  Just expect a bit of everything.

But, fall...  I am looking forward to it.  I'm looking forward to Halloween, where all the kids get dressed up for the occasion.  I'm looking forward to our first Thanksgiving with this new family.  It's my favorite time of the year.  I just hope I'm ready for it!

Adjustments: Clean Up Time

One of the lessons I've been trying to teach my children is the value of cleaning up.  It's a challenge, of course.  Who really wants to clean up?  It's not fun.  It means you've got to stop having fun to do it, but it's necessary.  A clean home is a happy home, or so I'm told.

The hardest part of teaching my children to clean up after themselves is my three-year old.  He wants to spend all his time playing and doesn't particularly care if his room is a mess.  He seems to like it better that way.  His sister fights so much on cleaning that he doesn't seem to think it's of any value.  After all, aren't making messes where all the fun is?  It's hard to explain to a three-year-old that cleaning up means there's more room to play, and that he'll know exactly where everything is when he wants to play with it.

It's also more of a challenge because there isn't really a place set up for my oldest son's toys right now.  The toys in his room right now are all girl's toys.  We've got to search through where his toys are packed up in the garage and see which ones will make it to his room, which ones will be saved for the youngest when he gets older, and which ones are ready to move on.  It often means he gets into everyone else's toys for a lack of his own, which means the whole house can quickly become a mess.

Where the oldest is concerned, I understand her point.  With two other girls in the house that she plays with all the time, it's hard to tell which mess belongs to who.  They all complain that they didn't make the mess, and they all complain they're the ones doing all the work.  It can easily get frustrating, so it's almost easier not to make anyone clean at all.  Of course, in the end the girls usually work it out, but it's something that's going to take getting used to.

For me, there are a lot of lessons in the new dynamics of clean up time.  These new challenges have pointed out the flaws in my organizational system.  It's been a chance to realize that it's taking me much longer to settle in than I realized.  I've got a lot to work on.  It's also been a reminder that I need to lead by example with my children.  I need to get organized in my own room, get it clean and orderly.  My children have more reason to do it if they see me doing it.  On top of that, I won't constantly be looking for things I've misplaced just like they do!

We're making progress when it comes to cleaning up.  It's so much more of a challenge it used to be.  When we lived on our own I always knew who was responsible for what mess and always had things organized they way I liked it.  It takes time to get used to a larger family, more shared space, and all the complications that come with it.  Overall, I'm enjoying the changes, but there's just so much left to work on.

How I Miss Seasons...

Kids are back in school.  Nights are getting nippier.  Sweater weather is becoming more common.  The leaves are dying and falling.  As everyone bustles by on the busy streets, the leaves crunch so delightfully beneath their feet.  It's finally fall!

Well, it is somewhere.  That somewhere certainly isn't Texas.  We've got beautiful sunny weather, not as hot in summer, but not really cool either.  The nights are still humid, sometimes a little sticky.  If we're lucky it will be cool enough out to be considered "nice".  For some, this is heaven, knowing they'll never have to shovel snow or rake leaves again.  For me, this is hell.  I hate it, and I long to have my seasons back.

Having grown up in quaint New England, I'm used to having four of them each year.  Our springs were windy and brisk, yet filled with a delightful splash of new growth, once things finally decided to grow, of course!  The flowers came into bloom after a deluge of rain and all the snow melting.  I've got fond memories of realizing it was finally warm enough out that a sweater was all I needed, and later in the spring delightfully casting that off as the days got warmer.

Summer was hot, but not brutal like it is here.  The days were lazy and filled with the sound of "heat bugs" buzzing away.  As a child, the summer was filled with swimming in the local reservoir, no longer used for drinking water, but instead to entertain the locals.  When I had my own family we would go to the Frog Pond in downtown Boston or Revere Beach and wade with my daughter on weekends, enjoying the warm sun and all the families out and about.  We would take walks in the Public Garden or on Boston Common, and then cram onto the subway when the crowds were headed to Red Sox games conveniently timed for rush hour traffic.  In the evenings we'd sit out side in the cool, summer air, still sticky and humid, drinking lemonade and eating fruit from the local co-op.  I particularly loved living in Salem this time of year, as we could walk down by Pickering Warf and enjoy the cool breeze from the ocean.  Those hot summer nights were some of the best times I'd had, sitting on the front stoop with friends because it was too hot to be cooped up inside.

As the days turned cooler, we turned into fall, my favorite of the seasons.  The leaves were all kinds of brilliant colors, then tumbled down to the street.  With each step there was the satisfying crunch of leaves crushing beneath my feet.  The air was sharp and crisp, with just a hint of frost later in the season.  Pumpkins and corn husk decorations were everywhere.  It was the season for baking, as it all came together for Thanksgiving, though that was usually more wintry than not.  We'd go to the park and play as it was cool enough to truly enjoy it.  Evenings were filled with long walks in the fresh, cool air, then we would come home to hot chocolate or warm cider.  Those are the days I miss the most.

Winter came with it's own stunning beauty.  Even when the snow had not yet fallen and all the trees were simply barren and dead, the bleary gray of winter had it's own light to me.  Early on when all the Christmas decor went up, I found the season more delightful than any other.  Even with the bleak dead surroundings, those cheery little lights seemed to perk everything up.  Yes, it may have all been dead and cold, but there was a life brought to it.  Then the snow came, and though I always hated the prospect of shoveling the miserable stuff, I did love the look of it.  I can't count the times I decided to go for a walk, just because it was snowing.  It was always so much warmer when it snowed, or so it seemed.  The snow covered city looked so beautiful.  Then came the ice, and while it made everything slick and dangerous, at the same time, everything glistened.  I have to admit, during the day it was dreary and bland, but at night it was stunning.

Instead, I'm stuck with Texas.  The summer is brutal.  The fall and spring are mildly less so.  Nothing ever really seems to die, and yet it does.  The winter is like that of a desert, but there's none of the beauty of snow or ice.  The cold doesn't stay for long, but is so unpredictable it's impossible to prepare.  There's a delightfully long growing season, but by summer it's much too hot to garden.  I'm realizing more and more how homesick I am for New England.  I miss those seasons more than I want to admit!

I Want to Do It!

I remember the days when my son would be so reliant on me.  He would ask me to make him lunch.  He would ask me to put a movie on for him.  I would have to get him glasses of water or milk.  I would have to do everything for him.  I know I've still got another little one who will be relying on me for all those things, but my older son has since moved on, and I can't even tell you when it happened.

Every time I look at him, I'm reminded of how much he's grown up.  He's gone from being my baby boy to being an independent kind of kid.  At three years old he can get himself a drink, make his own toast and sandwiches, get his own cereal with milk (with only a little mess), get himself dressed and undressed, and put on his own movies in the DVD player.  I have to wonder sometimes what he needs me for!  He's more than capable of doing just about everything on his own.  Of course, he's kind of lagging on the potty training, but with all the changes over the past year, it's not surprising with all the changes going on.  I'm sure he won't be in diapers for ever!

It's amazing, when you think about it, how fast they all grow up.  I remember when my oldest son had so many problems with speaking clearly.  I couldn't understand what he was getting at most of the time and just kind of guessed.  Sometimes I still do that when he's tired or not feeling well, but these days most of what he says is understandable.  In a way, I'm glad that he can communicate to me so clearly, but at the same time, I kind of miss the days when he was little and so dependent.  I miss the baby days.

Looking at my youngest, I can see those days in his future too.  It won't always be these moments of wanting to cuddle and love on his mommy.  He's going to grow up and become Mr. Independent too.  It's not going to be long before I turn around and wonder just when they all got to be so capable.

All around me I see these families with really advanced kids, kids who can read by the time they're two, or kids who use SAT words from toddlerhood.  I'll admit, a part of me wishes my kids had been that advanced.  That little competitive side of me wishes I had the kid of kids who would have been speaking in complete scentences at two.  I do sometimes wish that they had known all their colors, numbers, and everything else by then.  Then again, a part of me is really relieved.  I can't imagine how fast childhood would rush by if my kids did develop such a strong sense of adulthood at such a young age.  Yes, I want my kids to grow up to be successful, but they're only kids once.  Childhood goes too fast while it's here, so why would I want to rush it along anymore?

For now, I'm going to enjoy these days while I have them, even if they are filled with a three-year-old demanding he can do everything on his own.  I'll jump in and help when he accepts it, but my time with my son will have to be filled with other things.  I guess I should be greatful.  I don't have to worry about the work of taking care of him.  Instead, I can focus on the fun we can have together.  Now I just need to find a way of getting used to him wanting to do everything I used to be able to do for him.

Peanutbutter Toast!!!

Isn't it funny the way kids get picky about things?  They just have to have something a certain way and if they don't get it, there's tantrums in the future.  I can't count the number of times I've been at the store to see a kid throwing a tantrum over cookies or candy.  They want it all, and they want it right now!  I do have to sympathise with those moms.  My daughter used to be the same way.  My older son, however, isn't like that at all.

Now, I have to be honest, he has his share of demands.  He must have the food he wants or he simply will not eat.  More often than not, I can convince him that the food he wants is what the whole family is eating.  It's not really tricking him.  I just tell him how good it is and that he should try it.  He's not that picky in the long run.  He just knows what he likes and is only a little shy about having something he may not be familiar with.  However, when it's a "fend for yourself" kind of thing, he's picky, and he only wants one thing.

Peanutbutter toast, that's the demand in this house.  My older son is addicted to the stuff.  I suppose it could be worse.  Unlike cookies and candy, peanutbutter and bread are a pretty healthy combination.  He likes to have it with a glass of milk, adding another layer of healthy to the whole diet.  The only thing he's missing is fruit or veggies, which I'm sure I could convince him to have if I had some easily on hand for snacking.  I'm surprised at his healthy selection.  Even with the options in the house, like cereal with marshmellows and cookies, he would rather have peanutbutter toast for lunch!  I guess it's better than chips too.  At least his vote is for something healthy.

I don't know what it is, but more often than not, both my kids will gladly reach for healthy foods in their toddler years.  I know a lot of kids will balk the moment you say, "It's good for you!" but mine seem to see that as incentive.  It's like they know healthy things will make them feel good in the end, so they like eating them.  I'll be honest, I don't always provide them the most balanced diet.  That's something I need to work on, but at least for now they're chosing healthy options.

Kids can't just live off of peanutbutter toast, and this I know.  I'm sure complimenting the diet with classic kid favorites such as mac and cheese and hot dogs don't really help, but I hope that in my kids making healthier decisions now, they'll learn to think that way later in life.  Though those foods may not be the healthiest in the world, at least they're opting for things that aren't loaded with sugar.  Hopefully this is a trend that will keep on through the years.

For now, I'm just going to have to make a small investment in bread with my son's obsession with peanutbutter toast and peanutbutter toast sandwiches!  It's a good thing he's not allergic to peanuts!

Back in the Swing of Things

We've been back on the homeschooling pretty loosely for about two weeks now.  It's come with it's challenges, mostly because homeschooling a three-year-old is a challenge in itself, but for the most part, things have been pretty smooth.  I have to say, I'm surprised at how well my daughter can play dumb.  She's really a lot smarter than she lets on.  I know this kindergarten work is much too easy for her, yet still she persists in telling me it's a challenge.  She just doesn't like reading and phonics.

Yesterday was our math day.  We tend to spend an unbalanced amount of time in math with my daughter because it's her favorite subject.  I'm sure science will be right there with it.  There was an introduction to measuring in her work yesterday and she thought that was fun.  I can see her being my little scientist.  Then again, I'm not surprised that math and science are favorites for her.  I love math and science too!

I think it's only logical for kids to fall in love with math and science first.  Science is sort of the first lesson any child learns.  It's how they explore the world around them and get an understanding of it.  Even getting an understanding of language can be seen as science.  It's all about logic.  Since math allows further understanding of science, it only makes sense that it would follow closely.  After all, with science, we can know that there are some goldfish crackers on the table.  We can figure this out by using scientific observation skills, looks like a goldfish cracker, smells like one, tastes like one, must be one.  We can figure this out by comparing them to something we know are goldfish crackers.  Well, all we know is we've got "a lot" of them.  With math, we can count them, measure them, divide them up evenly among friends, etc.

It seems a lot of kids have delays in reading, writing, and phonics.  I suppose in some regards, it's all just another science.  You learn to break down the sounds, add those sounds together to make words, then put those into equations to make sentences.  However, when you already know perfectly well how to communicate through spoken language, why do you need to know how to read?  If you do need to read and there's someone around to do it for you, then where's the incentive to learn to do it for yourself?  Besides, reading and phonics are so much harder than math and science.  Let's face it, the English language is hard!

So, here we are, back in the saddle on the whole schooling thing.  Yesterday we flew through about thirty pages in the Spectrum Math Grade K book.  My daughter has been loving that one.  Of course, it's probably been too easy, which is why she loves it.  Today she's working on the Spectrum Phonics Grade K book.  I have to say, I really like this series.  I think I'm going to keep using Spectrum.  They may not be any formal homeschooling curriculum, but they are excellent learning tools for math, phonics, reading, and writing thus far.  Getting back into things, I didn't know where to start, but now I feel like I've got some guidance towards a more formal homeschooling system.  I just hope that this good start gives me a small base to expand on my other homeschooling activities.  At least it's an introduction of math and reading skills for that level and I can work from there.

This year isn't exactly off to a roaring start for my daughter.  It would have been much better had we jumped straight into grade two like we were originally supposed to, but at least now she's finding school fun and we're actually flying through the review material.  If we keep flying through at this rate, we'll be on grade two material before Christmas!

Adjustments: Homeschooling

Living in a more regular place has meant for a more regular homeschooling schedule.  "School" starts every morning at 9am, with an alarm going off an hour before to remind me.  We've started this year slow and simple.  My oldest gets a review of everything we've done since we've started school.  We're starting with some easy kindergarten stuff and working our way up to second grade, the grade she's supposed to be in.  Hopefully the review will go quickly and we'll be back on track in no time!

I started this whole journey off with unschooling.  There was something freeing about being able to work without books.  I loved the idea that children put in an environment rich with opportunities to learn would simply make the choice to learn.  It seemed like the easiest, most natural way to get a child to learn everything.  All I would have to do is provide plenty of opportunities.  I had all sorts of ideas on what we could do or how we might manage "lessons".  I had field trips in mind, projects, everything else.  I started the whole process with a brilliant vision.

Don't all things in life start with brilliant visions and the idea that everything will be so easy?  Isn't it frustrating when they're not as easy as they seem?  While I had great visions, I found my decision came with a lot of flaws.  For my older son, it's been easy.  As long as there are books, he's going to want to read them, or have someone read them to him.  As long as there's something to learn, he'll want to know.  When he thinks he's got it right, he'll come to me all proud and tell me all about it.  His favorite things to point out are animals, colors, and the emotions he thinks everything has based on it's expression.  I'm sure if I left plenty of things for him to learn with just lying around, he'd want to try them all!  My daughter, however, is a completely different story.  If only it were so easy with her!

When I started this whole "unschooling" thing, we were doing pretty good.  She had plenty of opportunities to learn.  I'd turn everything into a lesson, from the playground to the grocery store.  We even had a trip to the safari zoo where she had a chance to meet all kinds of animals.  We talked about everything, from what they liked to eat to where they lived.  We even pulled out maps to show her where all kinds of animals came from.  It was a chance to work on everything from science to geography, and even a little bit on her reading skills.  Things were going wonderfully.  If only they had stayed that way!

At that time, my daughter's father was deployed to Iraq.  I was stuck at home with two children in the middle of nowhere.  I didn't really know many people, and I had almost no support.  Things started wearing on me.  I just couldn't manage the way I wanted to.  I started slacking on opportunities to learn and she stopped wanting to.  Isn't it more fun to play all the time?  I had started falling apart on the unschooling, and the longer I lost ground, the harder it would be to catch up.

Until recently, I've really been fighting to get back the ground I'd lost.  I'd planned trips, but field trips cost money, something no one has much of in this economy.  I'd planned fun projects and suggested games, none of which actually interested my daughter.  I tried to pick up her lessons everywhere we went, but I was met with resistance.  "Mommy, this is so boring," she would whine at every step.  I got frustrated and I was tempted to just put her back in school.  How could I teach her if she didn't want to learn?  We tried to take things that interested her and make those into lessons.  We talked about places that the people who were important to her had been.  We tried talking about animals.  Nothing was a hit.  Everything was met with "school is so boring!"

Having moved in to our new home, we've decided to take a different turn on things.  Instead of focusing on unschooling, something I wanted so badly for my family, I decided to go a more traditional route.  My new house mate's kids were in school, so I asked my daughter if she wanted to go to school too.  Apparently not!  School is a punishment to her, or so she claims!  She wants to keep doing school at home!  Playing all day, as much as she liked it, wasn't going to get anything done, so I took more of the "school at home" kind of approach.  At the start of the school year I went out and picked up workbooks from the local office supply store and we got to work.  We're starting a review of everything we've covered with unschooling and everything we've worked on with the supplies my aunt has sent over the years.  We're working through kindergarten straight up.  After all of her former complaints that everything is too hard, I thought that was the best approach.

The results?  So far so good!  Of course, the year is still young and we've got miles to go before we sleep on this issue, but she's thrilled that the work is so incredibly easy.  She's starting to gain confidence in her own abilities, and it's a good review of basic skills that she could use some practice on.  She may know all her letters and how to write them, but it never hurts to work on technique.  She may know all her numbers, but it can't hurt to practice writing them out.  This has been so easy for her that she's decided that school is actually fun!  Perhaps we can keep this momentum up when we start getting to the harder stuff.

Better still, my older son is starting to get excited about school!  We picked up a couple preschool workbooks for him too and he's so happy to be doing school like a big kid, just like his sister.  He's always been more interested in books and "reading" than art projects and crafts, so perhaps this would be a good time to introduce arts and crafts as well.  He's in a phase where doing what his sister is doing is pretty cool.  Maybe we can keep this going the whole year through!

Now my free time (wait, I have free time?) is going to be spent on doing research on fun and inexpensive projects for the kids, things that can fit in our school format.  Since I no longer have to worry about turning everything into a lesson to teach life skills, such as reading, math, and science, I can just do some really fun arts and crafts projects that don't teach anything but creativity!  I'm actually looking forward to this school year!  For once, I'm not dreading the idea of getting my daughter to learn!  Homeschooling is fun again!

Here I was, so worried that all of this adjusting to a new home was going to be challenging.  I was worried that I'd have to spend so much time trying to figure out how to homeschool with so many kids in the house.  Unschooling was going to be a nightmare with all the unstructured time and chaos from other kids.  Lack of structure has seemed to be my biggest downfall.  In the end, this turned out to be exactly what I needed!  Looks like we're finally taking a step in the right direction!

Baxt

Small and furry, cute and cuddly, no family is ever complete without their loving pets.  It seems like they are the magic ingredient that makes near any family come together and feel complete.  While, over the past few months, our family has become quite attached to the furry friends we live with, it seems it was time for us to have our own furry companion.

A month or so ago a friend of ours was leaving our house and found a wild rabbit on the side of the road.  The poor thing had been hit by a car and was dying.  It was likely one of the rabbits from around our house that had been living in one of the bushes on the property.  Unfortunately, she wasn't healthy at all and was likely going to die soon.  We had a small funeral for our little furry friend upon her passing, and it was a sad night for bunny kind.  We moved on, hoping the best for the rest of our bunny folk friends.

A couple weeks later the yard work was being done when the same friend found a small furry animal bouncing around by the ride-on lawn mower.  The poor thing could have easily ended up in a bad way if it had chosen to hop out in front of the mower, but instead our room mate found it, caught it, and brought it in.  It was a tiny little bunny.  We were pretty certain that the mama bunny was the one who died so tragically and we figured this little guy must be lost without her.  We all came to the conclusion that we would care for the little one until it was large enough to fend for itself, and then let it go.

As things go with animals, it's so hard not to become attached.  Try as we might, the little guy kind of grew on us.  We gave him the somewhat generic name of "Benjamin Bunny", though my room mate kept insisting we call him "Thumper".  He was such a social little guy.  I was in love with him.  He loved to e held, and we worried that perhaps he would become way to friendly to handle life out in the wild.  He might try and befriend some kind of snake!  And having food on hand and easy to access, he may not take to well to having to fend for himself when he got bigger.  We decided that the best option would be to keep him as a pet, at least until we were certain he would do well in the wild.

He's still a skittish little guy, but he's become quite friendly.  He's a bit of a bugger to catch when he's out and lose, or hiding in his cage, but once he's caught, he's the sweetest little love.  He cuddles right up to you and tries to snuggle in my sleeve.  His favorite place to hang out seems to be on the bed.  He runs around in circles, trying to burrow into the pillows, then pops his little head out again.  It's so cute to watch him!  He's become a real part of the family!  I've even given him a real name.  I've started calling him "Baxt".  He's quite frequently called "Baxty" by others in the family.  I found somewhere that Baxt means "luck" in Romani.  I think it's luck that we found him before some predator did.  Chesh calls him "Baxty" because he said it's his way of calling him "lucky".  He's our little buddy for sure!

Moving On, Moving Ahead

A lot has changed since I last updated this blog.  It may seem like I've fallen off the face of the earth.  In a way, I think I have.  There's been so much chaos, so many changes that it seems hard to keep track of everything all at once.  I'm lost in the flow of things.

The biggest change is a huge step back from sustainability.  We're no longer living in the country, but in suburbia.  We're still dealing with Texas's strange and complicated weather system, but hopefully it will mean for a good growing season when we're in a better position to have our own garden.  However, it's definitely limited our potential for sustainable gardening.  It's still possible, but we'll have to talk to our new house-mates about what the possibilities are.

However, this step back from sustainability is proving to be a step forward in another sustainable living aspect.  Though it's not allowing ourselves to become a little freer from the negative impact on our environment, it is allowing us to become more financially sustainable.  By living in our current home, we've got a wonderful opportunity to pull ourselves out of debt and start working towards a debt-free life!  We're even looking forward to the idea of eventually purchasing our own home some day, possibly in this same neighborhood.  We love it here, and it could very well be a good move for our future.

Another direction that has been positively impacted is the homeschooling front.  I've busted my daughter back to kindergarten work, so she's back to things that are much too easy for her.  However, we're going to be working through to find out where she's more challenged and where she's more adept.  This way I can start off the year more tailored to her own needs.  I know she's still got some problems with reading, but hopefully I can figure out if that's her only challenge, and we should be able to get her back on track.  Living with other children on a more regular schedule has made homeschooling so much less of a challenge.  I'm actually finding it fits in the schedule and our system is starting to work out quite well.  We still need to work out a lot of the kinks, but we're getting there.

It's so nice to live with someone who wants to work towards a clean home as well.  The past couple weeks have been pretty chaotic, but we're finally starting to settle in to what needs to happen.  I'm looking forward to a cleaner home, somewhere I can feel proud to have company over!

This whole thing has been a wonderful experience, even if it comes with it's sad steps back and unhappy moments.  We're now one big, mostly happy family and I'm finding I quite like it.  We're moving from one small community to a larger one.  It's always hard moving on from a situation, but I think in this case, even with the set backs, we're moving ahead.