Learn Nothing Day, 2011

Yes, today is learn nothing day.  Want to know what that means?  Well...I'd love to explain it for you, but, you see, then you would be learning something, and doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?  But it may already be too late?  What if you didn't know it was Learn Nothing Day?  Then you just learned that it was Learn Nothing Day...  Oh dear...  Well...I guess I kind of failed on that one too because I gave you the opportunity to learn.  I'm not so good at this whole thing.  You see, we're an unschooling family.  We're used to learning something new, or more accurately, a lot of new things, each and every day.

There it is.  I've finally said it.  I've come out of the education closet as an unschooler.  I've been denying it for a while.  I've been trying to play off as a traditional homeschooler, but we're not.  We don't use some elements of unschooling, not anymore.  We've gone off and have decided to use nothing but unschooling.  And you know what?  I've never had so much fun!

But...that brings us to today.  We started off the day in a rocky way.  We tried to forget about things we just might be learning.  We've tried as hard as we can to clear our minds of all the things that might inspire us to learn.  We've given up anything that might inspire learning in any way, shape or form.  Do you have any idea how hard that is?

So far the first one to fail was the baby.  Our little dude learned that his sippy cup can balance on it's top, and will rock back and forth.  I'm trying to make excuses for him, like maybe he learned this earlier and is just demonstrating it, but the truth is, I think he must have learned from that.  I think my older two are okay, so far...  They've been asking questions though...  They've been asking question after question and I have to keep reminding them to stop thinking so hard!  They might just learn something!

It's been rocky...and I think sadly...my older two have learned something today in spite of it all...  NOT learning is really hard!  It's impossible to go a day without learning something.  It's something that's so much a part of our nature as humans that it's impossible to think of any other choice.  We learn something in just about everything we do, from childhood straight on to adulthood.  Isn't that the natural way to learn?

Kids and Arts: Teaching Kids What They Want to Learn

We've been having this reading battle with my daughter for...well...longer than this blog has been in existence.  I've decided that, since the summer's still upon us, maybe I won't do the conventional push for reading.  Maybe we'll do something that interests her, see if we can foster some creativity.

I've been trying to encourage my daughter's love of art.  She's always said she wanted to be an artist, though she doesn't really know anything about art.  We used to have some art books around the house to help her with drawing, but somewhere along the lines they disappeared right along with my sock knitting book and some other things.  She really didn't have much opportunity to study art, nor a lot of artists.  The best I could do was set her to drawing and let her go.

Just the other day Marrok decided he was going to sit down with her.  He was going to work on sculpting, so he wanted to give her a chance to do it with him.  He talked to her about clay, about art, and everything else.  They both worked at making their own sculptures.  Corde made up two different pieces, one with some help, the other without nearly as much.

When they were done they baked the clay in the oven.  She was so excited about her own piece of art turning into something beautiful.  It wasn't enough that she thought it was good, she was just so proud of herself!  I feel bad that she's not going to get a chance to display them in her room until we can get a shelf high enough that her brothers can't access.  She's so proud of her work.

After that she's decided the only thing in the world she's interested in is art.  It's going to be quite the challenge to help her find other interests, but she's interested in something!  I hope this is just going to be the first start to many more interests of all varieties.  My child with no real imagination or drive to be interested in something has found something she loves so much that she's actually asking to read about it!  It's exciting to see that impact and that change happening!

The Act of Nonconformity

I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subject of conforming lately.  A lot of my friends label themselves as "nonconformists".  Really, only a handful of them actually stand for something in their decision not to conform to the standards of society.  Many of them think they stand for something, but in reality, it's all just an illusion.  It's really gotten me thinking on my stance on the whole thing.

For many of the people I've known in my life nonconformity is a simple thing.  If you want to stand out and show that you go against what society tells you to do, you change your appearance.  Maybe you've got a lot of tattoos or piercings.  Maybe you dress in a weird way.  Perhaps you've got some crazy hair color or style.  Whatever it is, it's seen as a way of not conforming to the will of society.

Here's the problem I have with that.  So what if you dress different?  I dress different than most of the people I know, sometimes in goth or hippie inspired pieces, sometimes just bright, colorful and clashing, sometimes looking a little out of my own time.  That doesn't mean I don't do what society tells me to do.  Does it matter that you have a couple tattoos or piercings?  I've got multicolored dreads, a rather sizable tattoo, ears stretched to fit a two gauge, two holes in my lip and a hole in my nose.  None of those mean I don't do what society is telling me to do.  Actually, in many ways, that "nonconformity" is a means of conforming to society or your peers.  For example, everyone around here has tattoos and piercings, well, maybe not piercings on the soldiers, but you get my point.

This kind of nonconformism is almost like a safe rebellion.  Yes, you're going against the grain and doing things your parents might have rolled their eyes at, but what does it stand against?  Trendiness?  Being mainstream?  But at the same time, this kind of rebellion itself is trendy and mainstream.  It's the kind of rebellion everyone is doing, and because of that, it's not new.  It's not innovative.  It doesn't stand for anything, aside from going against what the generation before us would prefer us to do.  In truth, that stance isn't really a reason to go against anything.

However, there is a small group of my friends who are truly nonconformist.  They go against the grain of society in a way that actually means something.  The things they stand against are standards in society (and I don't just mean the standard of beauty) and, as such, actually do things that make a difference, both for themselves and their families.  They are trying to make a difference in the world around them by going against the grain.  They are true nonconformists, and as such often become activists and the like to show people a new and better way to live.

Many of my friends choose alternative activities at first because of the benefits to their family or information they find that leads them to the right choice.  Many of these things quickly become hot-button issues between the tried and true believers, but there are some that aren't quite such powerful ideas.  Here's a few of the kinds of things I'm talking about.

• Cloth Diapering
• Anti-Circumcision
• Anti-Vaccine
• Sustainable Gardening
• Organic Only Diet
• No GMO Diet
• Vegetarianism/Veganism (for ethical and/or health reasons)
• Raw Foods
• Going Green (since before it was a catch phrase, and often to excessive degrees)
• Chemical-Free Households
• Homeopathic/Holistic Healing
• Homeschooling
• Unschooling
• Handcrafting (to provide needed goods for their family, not just as a hobby)
• Anti-Consumerism
• Sustainable Communities (such as Earthships)
• No Television (from as minor as refusing cable to as major as no video games or anything)
• Natural/Organic Health and Beauty Products

And as much as that may sound like a lot, that's just hitting the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the kids of nonconformists my friends are!  They're some pretty special people (and if the happen to be reading this, they should know I think they're incredible and I love them all very much!)  It's people like those who will change the world, not by dressing "alternatively" and making personal choices in style.  They are actually standing for something, be it personal health,  saving the environment, improving their own financial standing, and raising their kids to be good people who are healthy in mind, body, and soul.

I think that's the biggest thing that bothers me about people who claim not to conform to the standards of society.  All too many of them conform and only enact little rebellions, acceptable rebellions, instead of choosing to stand for something they believe in.  Perhaps if more people recognized that not conforming to the will of society went far deeper than the fashion industry and personal style choices we would have a deeper understanding of where the road parts on going with the flock or standing for your own beliefs.

Lessons from Life: Cooking Fried Potatoes

Given my push to get away from anything I'm allergic to, it's been a challenge to get up in the morning and cook for myself, especially if I'm feeling run down and low on sugar.  I asked Chesh to cook me some breakfast this morning, the fried potatoes he always makes, without the meat and eggs.  We had to switch from vegetable oil to olive oil so I can escape the soy too, but we're still adding a soy-based butter.  It's been an adventure to try and figure out what I can eat, and sometimes waiting to eat has left me so exhausted that the last thing I want to do is cook.  I'm blessed to have someone that actually cooks for me.

Today my daughter decided she wanted to learn about the process of cooking.  She's always been interested in cooking.  It's been a favorite subject of hers.  I wasn't surprised that she wanted to be his little assistant, even though there wasn't much for her to do.

From the kitchen I heard all kinds of questions.  Why do we use a butter substitute?  Why are the potatoes red?  She thought all potatoes were white on the inside.  Why weren't these?  In return she got answers.  I'm allergic to dairy so we can't put regular butter into it.  Potatoes come in yellow, brown, and red on the outside, occasionally even white.  They're just different kinds of potatoes.  As you cook a potato it sometimes changes color.

Isn't this what learning should be about?  Shouldn't kids learn about everything in their world?  Won't it drive them to be interested in other things?  Won't they expand their own knowledge on their own?  Or is better not to expose them to these things in place of a standard education?  Personally, I think my kids are learning just fine the way they are!

When Do Kids Learn Multiplication?

I have to say, I'm really tired of my kids being compared to other kids their age.  They're being held to the standard of public schools.  They're expected to keep on track with what other kids their age are doing.  The funny thing is the people who question me on it, who question my kids, then turn around and ask me what kids are doing in their grade level anyway, like I somehow know that?

When it comes to my kids, I have no idea what "grade level" they're on.  When they truly apply themselves and enjoy it, they're definitely advanced, but when it comes to a subject that bores them, they're probably behind.  Then there's the problem with schools and grade level.  I'm constantly questioned on what kids do in any grade level, and my first thought is, "In what school?"

This is something a lot of people don't stop to consider.  Just because one school teaches multiplication in second grade doesn't mean all of them do.  I've heard (though I wouldn't know personally) that around here they teach multiplication in fourth grade.  My oldest daughter, the age of a second grader, already knows some basic multiplication.  She also understands the concept of money better than most children her age.  Why?  Because we actually use it.  It's a daily life thing and she's learning from the world around her.  Isn't that the best way to learn anyway?  She's come upon it naturally.  In schools, you don't get that.  I've known many a school child to be bored in class or totally left behind because they switched schools and their old school doesn't teach at the same pace as their new school, so obviously school isn't this infallible standard that all kids should be measured up to.

It's funny that our society should get stuck on some kind of standard like grade level.  It allows parents to be competitive over their children, whose kid stayed back and whose is in some advanced program.  It's all decided by their age level, not their interests.  Isn't that some kind of false means of measuring intelligence, talent, and skill?  Some of the brightest people I know are high school drop-outs or did very poorly in school because they were bored, disinterested, and just didn't apply themselves.  Does that mean they're really dumb, or should that be a sign that school just doesn't work?

What about this whole idea that you only can learn certain things based on your age?  How does that model a real-world environment?  Once children reach adulthood the game changes on them.  They don't have to learn anything if they don't want to.  Many of the people I know don't read books, don't research information, and in general don't do anything one might consider educational.  Adulthood hits and they quit learning.  Why?  They're not in school anymore.

Maybe it's me, but I just can't get in the minds of people who don't believe in life-long learning.  Many of these people consider themselves highly intelligent because they were in advanced classes in school or they got a high GPA in college, but they don't make an effort to educate themselves.  Learning is left behind in the classroom, except for the necessary and challenging lessons that life brings.

Somehow I don't think that standard of learning is creating productive and innovative society.  Instead of people who are driven to be intelligent and learn something new every day of their life, there are too many people who slack off and do nothing with their time.  They watch television, play video games, and aren't terribly involved in their family life.

So, when you look at the difference, your average school child learns a whole bunch of determined facts, while your unschooled child learns from life and is set up for a long life of learning.  Which is better?  Does it make more sense for my kids to focus on fitting in with some grade level that's not even going to matter when they hit adulthood?  Does it make more sense to let my children learn from life itself so they will continue to educate themselves and grow straight through their adult life?  Personally, I'd rather see the life-long learning direction than see my kids turn out like so many of the adults I know today.

The Reason We Do It

I have a very small child next to me right now.  He's humming, eating a cracker, and tossing his head from shoulder to shoulder.  His average day is spent toddling around the house, learning everything he can about everything.  He looks at us like he's thinking, "What?  I'm doing science!"

That's the way a small child views the world.  Everything is an opportunity for something new to learn and explore.  There's no such thing as sitting around and playing too much or not doing something educational enough.  Everything is a chance to learn and grow.

Thinking about it, adults do the same thing.  If I want to know about something, I ask questions, read a book about it, or hop online and do some research.  I can make my own choices on what I want to learn and what's important to me.  I'd like to think most adults are the same way.

In school, however, kids don't get that freedom.  Everything they learn comes prepackaged in this box and they aren't allowed to deviate, aside from on their free time.  Even their free time is taken up by school with homework.  It's not even close to the model of learning your standard adult or preschooler uses.  It's so incredibly foreign and different that it almost doesn't even make sense.

Unfortunately, there are articles like this one by ABC talking about unschooling families and any family that doesn't use a "school at home" approach to learning.  True, this family may not be the perfect example of unschooling, especially as their children don't have any interest in going to college, but they're trying to make a point.  Unschooling is unhealthy and damages a child, giving them too much ego and not allowing them the structure a child needs.  They even go so far as to say one of the children doesn't like sports, not that he'd know because he's not exposed to sports through a PE class.

That last statement gets under my skin.  Not everyone finds out they like sports through PE class.  Actually, in my experience PE class usually gets met with kids who mock the gym teacher and do everything they can to avoid going.  They hate the games that they play and most kids lose their love of sports, at least that's my experience.  PE class doesn't teach kids to like sports.  That's not even what it's there for.  PE class is to make sure kids get a healthy amount of exercise each day.

Further, homeschooled and unschooled kids love sports!  Well, maybe not all of them do, but they do take the opportunities to try them out if they're so inclined.  For example, I'm planning on starting both my older kids on soccer in the winter.  Unfortunately, youth soccer is about the only sport that's available and well known about in this area.  Even so, they've both expressed an interest in soccer as well as martial arts.  How can that be bad for them?  It's definitely an opportunity to learn, grow, exercise, make new friends, and have fun.  Isn't that what being a kid is about?

All too often I've seen it portrayed that unschooling families, whether radical or not, are giving their children too much power and in return their kids don't learn anything.  Given the opportunity their kids will do nothing but eat junk food and play video games all day.  Well, that's something to consider, yes, but as a parent, I can do something about that.  If the kids are hungry and want a snack, I can make sure healthy snacks are available and keep the junk food at a distance.  If they want to watch television all day, I can suggest something really interesting to watch, like a documentary on my child's favorite subject, or give them some other option that's so fun and irresistible that they're not likely to want to watch television at all.  If they don't want to do it, well, what harm is there in watching a little television?  More often than not, when the suggestion of something more fun and interesting comes up, the television goes off without a problem.

Somehow it strikes me as odd, and a little bit fishy, that big media corporations paint such a dark light on those who choose to raise their children in an alternative way.  Even shows like Mom Swap, or whatever it's called, are prone to showing alternative families in a very bad light when they pair them up with some very normal seeming family.  It's striking that somehow these corporations seem to think that non-standard families are somehow a threat to society.  After all, if they were showing them in the positive, healthy light that they're seen by the families that choose it, perhaps more people would choose to do it too.

When it comes down to it, I'm noticing more and more each day that we prefer to unschool around here rather than teach formal lessons.  We tend to learn things on the fly and focus on what the kids are interested in.  It's almost freeing not to have to worry about what I'm going to teach the next day and how I'm going to get my kids involved in lessons they have no interest in.  Instead of all that, I'm finding myself more and more capable of introducing my own interests to my kids.  It's a more natural way of learning.

Twain and our Economy

I was listening to CraftLit today while I was working on some knitting.  I'm a bit behind on the current episodes, so I'm still stuck on A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.  I'm nearing the end of the book and have been loving it so far.  I just wish I had more time to sit down with the podcast, but carving an hour out of any day can be daunting with Marrok, Chesh, and the kids hovering over me.  I'm beginning to think I'm just not allowed a moment of peace and quiet unless I'm working on my book!

During the podcast Heather made an interesting observation on the chapters we would soon be hearing.  She observed that Twain would make a commentary on the state of the economy, something that's still true today.  She kind of wished everyone would be required to read these chapters.  I have to say, I'm inclined to agree.

In this book, Twain makes a really good point.  People talk a good deal about wages.  Minimum wage gets a lot of attention these days.  When it was $5.12 per hour, people thought it was incredibly low.  Now it's up to $7.25 per hour and rising.  A lot of people see this as a great thing.  Everyone on the low end makes more money, so we must be doing economically better, right?

Unfortunately not.  With the rise in minimum wage we've also seen a matching, possibly even exceeding rise in cost of living.  For example, when I got to Texas just over two years ago we were paying $2.50 for a gallon of gas and that seemed steep.  The gas cost skyrocketed up to nearly $4 per gallon the very next summer.  Granted, gas prices drop and rise in a crazy way, but that's how everything is.  The cost of living isn't as close to as low as it was back when minimum wage was $5.12 per hour.

I hate to say it, but what we're looking at when we talk about wages is the base wage.  We're not talking about purchasing power here.  We're not taking a look at how much you can buy with that money.  Sadly, the amount we can buy with our dollar is going down faster than the minimum wage is going up.  What does this mean?  Our economy is going to tank, not because minimum wage isn't high enough, but because the cost of living keeps on going up faster than our minimum wage.

It was proven time and time again that your average family cannot afford to live off of minimum wage.  It would take approximately three minimum wage jobs in any given area to cover the cost of expenses to maintain your average home and family with two kids.  This isn't even talking about excesses such as car payments and things like that.  That should be telling us something.

I've heard a lot of people blame the feminists.  If they didn't insist that women work we wouldn't need two incomes just to get by.  The problem isn't the feminists, it's our standard of living.  Our need to live in excess, create debt for ourselves, and live above our means has caused the need for two working parents in a family. If we could all learn to live within our means, not buy unneeded things, and make the most of our time, perhaps the face of our economy would change.  I know it's just food for thought at this point, but isn't that where everything starts?

So what am I going to do?  I know there's really nothing I can do about the minimum wage or the cost of living, but I can take a stand and make sure my dollars count.  Instead of buying expensive toys for my kids, I'm going to focus on affordable, as I have been.  I'm going to watch my personal spending and make sure my money is only going out to things I can actually condone and support.  I'm going to make sure the items my family has are quality, even if that means paying a bit more or doing a bit more work.  In the long run, it will be worth it.  If it outlives it's value, that's all that I care.

In the end, we're not really so much better than all these other countries out there.  For a little bit of a shocking reality check, take a look at this article, courtesy of Heather Ordover from CraftLit.  Go down the whole list.  Pay attention to both the prices, and how much food their family survives off of.  You might just be surprised at the degree to excess in which Americans live...

Carving out a Little Space

Since we've moved here we've had tons of challenges.  Not only were there the complications of adjusting to a new space, but also adapting to having so little.  I didn't have a desk to work on.  We didn't have much in the way of furniture at all.  Things were pretty sparse for a while.

Then we were gifted with furniture, and that was fantastic.  We've now got a table that's now my desk, chairs, couches, an arm chair, a couple bookshelves, and a dresser.  While this stuff can be seen as just stuff and unnecessary, it does generally help make a place easier to live in.  Unfortunately, as much as we have, we just don't have enough.

Of course, the acquiring of furniture takes time, as does finding a home for everything.  When you've got more stuff than places to put it all, that makes it easy for the clutter to spill out into every corner of your house.  When you live with someone like Chesh, who doesn't clean up after himself pretty much at all, never mind doing it well, it becomes even more of a challenge.  This can be attested to by the stack of boxes in my couch which were set to go out months ago.  When the boxes started to pile up, so did everything else and no one seemed to much care.

With all the writing work I've been doing I've decided I need a desk.  I need to have somewhere I can sit and work in peace, even though that doesn't much happen around here.  Unless I lock myself in my bedroom, it's never peaceful here, or quiet.  Still, having a focused space in the living room is better than nothing.  Right now we're working with the table my friend gave me, as we have nothing else.  I've managed to set up a nice little knitting basket.  We've got a Scentsy warmer on the table and I've got my purse hanging on my chair, convenient and easy to find.  There's still a lot of work to do around here, but we're making progress.

Honestly, I think I needed this.  I needed a little bit of space so I could work by myself.  It's my one little space where I can work without having a million distractions or clutter in my face.  This is definitely what I needed.  I think I can finally focus.

Cooking for my Family, the Cost of Cooking from Scratch

In the past I've always said I didn't want to cook from home for a reason.  Cooking from scratch is expensive.  It means you've got to have all the ingredients themselves on-hand, which isn't so expensive, I guess, if you have them all on hand already, or if you just need to pick up a little bit of this or that.  For me, cooking from home always seemed more of a luxury than I could afford, even with all the extra work required.

Yesterday was a prime example of that.  I went to the store with my dear friend.  We had to get some things into the house that I could actually eat.  Since I'm kicking all the things I'm allergic to, that doesn't leave terribly much, and as I looked at the items in the store, it became even more apparent that "not much" should really read, "nothing your average grocery store in Texas sells."  I ended up making sacrifices for things I really shouldn't be eating because I just don't want to give up everything I like all at once.

To give you an idea of what this diet means, doing it right means giving up everything.  There's no butter substitute (they all have soy), no cheese substitute (they have milk protein and soy), no store-bought flour in this area, no bread, no baked goods, no cereal, no granola bars, no candy, no snack food, no anything.  Even things that seem safe, like salt and vinegar chips, as it turns out, the vinegar flavor is made with dairy.  It's not so much the dairy that's the problem, though that is a challenge in it's own.  It's giving up soy.  It's shocking how many things are made with soy these days!

Taking a look at what's available to me, that leaves a very meat and potatoes kind of situation for meals.  We can't do anything creative because most creativity involves dairy of some kind, flour, or breading.  I suppose in many ways it's healthier to take a meat and potatoes kind of approach to things, but it's definitely limiting when the local grocery store's idea of produce is a small selection of broccoli, carrots, corn, and potatoes.  I was lucky enough to find some summer squash and acorn squash.  I've never eaten acorn squash, so I'm interested to see what that's going to be like.

It doesn't help that some of the substitutes are very expensive.  Coconut milk, rice milk, rice flour (which I have to order online around here), and all of that are very pricey.  I'm learning that fresh meats, fruits, and vegetables are very expensive too.  I'm not sure how long we can afford doing this!  Then again, we may find that cooking like this actually reduces the overall amount that we eat, but it's frustrating nonetheless.

Last night's grocery bill doubled our family's meal cost for the week last night, and all we did was avoid prepackaged foods.  Because I'm gravitating towards things that are good for me, healthy for the whole family, and are fresh, raw ingredients, things are getting that much more expensive.

Healthy and organic, one would imagine, wouldn't be a significantly more expensive option when it comes to cooking.  Families should be able to eat for less when they buy foods they make from scratch, things that will be healthy for them.  I've always thought the exchange was supposed to be things made from scratch cost less, but required much more work.  Prepackaged foods were supposed to cost more, but were quick and easy.  Now it seems like there's no exchange at all.  You have to be made of money to cook good, quality, healthy meals for your family.

Too Exhausted...

For those of you who follow my other blog, the next week I'll be sharing some interesting information I've recently found out.  As it turns out, there's a reason I'm so tired all the time.  I've been wearing myself into the ground with my allergies.

My whole family is going to have to go on a diet overhaul.  As much as my partner has had issues with it every time I've done it before, our roommate and the kids will be dragged along, kicking and screaming if necessary.  I need to do this, not just for me, but for my family.  If I've got these food allergies, my kids are that much more likely to develop them.  I don't want to do that to them.

The thing with these allergens is they're in everything in our modern diet.  Have you ever really looked at the ingredients on any food you like?  Have you thought about the hidden ingredients?  Dairy, wheat, soy, and MSG can all be disguised as "natural flavor".  Even things listed as non-dairy can contain dairy ingredients.  Things that are supposedly friendly, like soy cheese, still contain milk protein.  That means avoiding some of these things is all but impossible unless you make everything yourself.

It's thought that the increase of use of these allergens is part of what contributes to the large problem with them in our society.  Milk, eggs, wheat, and soy are in just about everything.  MSG, an incredibly common allergen, is in a good deal of things too.  Many people don't even realize they have a sensitivity to any of these things because they're so accustomed to eating them in their daily life.  It's not until you go without them that you start to see the changes in your own well-being.  If you cut them out of your system and suddenly start feeling a lot better in a couple weeks, it's probably a sign you've got a problem.

I want better for my kids than what I had.  Who doesn't?  Because of this, I'm going to look for ways to teach them a better diet, even if that means a drastic change in things we can and can't eat.  Yes, we may splurge now and again and have something out to eat, even though I know it's bad for me, but that's going to be a special occasion.  I can't have my kids live in a box where they never eat anything we don't make ourselves.  That's the quickest way to ensure they do it all the time when they grow up.

I think this is the biggest part of raising our children today.  Yes, it's great to raise them to be good people.  It's great to do the best you can with them.  It's great to have all these ideas and ideals.  However, when it comes to our kids, they really are the next step.  They're the next generation.  We need to teach them a better way so they can change the face of our future.  It's about making the world a better place for them so that they might do the same for their children.  Through our children, we can change the world.

Unfortunately, right now I'm too exhausted to do much of anything.  For the past several weeks I've been sick and only getting worse.  I didn't realize how much allergies can compound over time, how much drastically worse they can get if you ignore them, figuring you're not getting any worse, so why worry.  Instead it's been sneaking up on me, and now I'm so exhausted that, for the past couple of days, I don't even want to get out of bed.  Yes, it's time for a change.  It's time to get healthy again.

Changing Schedules

Over the summer most school kids go through the change.  Lack of school means later nights and sleeping in.  They go from a regular routine of school every day to a chaotic time of freedom.  Some kids go to summer camp, but for most, it's just lazy days of summer where they can play, rest, and do whatever they want.

For homeschool kids it's a little different.  There isn't necessarily a rigid school schedule, so summer creates less of a break.  Some parents even continue homeschooling straight through the summer, something I'd thought about time and time again.  In Texas summer is too hot to enjoy, so we might as well just take our break during cooler weather.  It would only make sense.  However, the spring, summer, and fall season transitions in and out of the school year don't have much impact on our family most years.

This year things are different.  We've got someone new living in our house.  His work schedule and my partner's work schedule conflict just a little, and since he doesn't drive, that leaves me to play taxi.  It's only going to get more complicated when the kids start the homeschool co-op in the fall.  I feel like my lie is falling into a predictable schedule, something I'm not used to with my chaotic, free life.  I'm used to coming and going as I please and not holding to any real routine.  This is a huge change for us, especially as it means changing nap times and bed times.

First thing in the morning my partner gets up with our friend and drives him to work.  When he comes home he falls back into bed and sleeps for a while longer.  I sneak out of bed, get up with the kids and somewhat supervise breakfast while checking my e-mail for any work-related information.  I generally hop on Facebook, the evil that it is, chat with a friend for a while, post some kind of update about what's going on that morning, and get to work on something or another.  Lately I've been trying to read as much as I can about homeschooling, pick books I want to read once I get a steady income coming in, and things of that nature.  It's summer time, so I can get away with that.  Otherwise it will be sitting, knitting in lap, while I go over lessons with the kids, have arts and crafts time, whatever is on the schedule for the day.  Lunch time hits and we eat, if I can wrangle the kids to the table to sit down that long, and my partner plays video games for a while before getting ready for work.  Halo Reach is a particular favorite of his right now.  After lunch we try and relax for a bit before it's time to get on the move.  This is when the baby gets his nap in for the day.  About 2pm we start the process of getting everyone on the move.  There's a baby to change, kids to get dressed, and my older son needs to hit the potty before we hit the road.  Normally my kids don't bother to get dressed before noon.  I try to encourage it, but they enjoy being able to go through the morning in their pajamas.  I see no reason to force them into something different. Then we hit the road around 3pm so I can take my partner to work and pick up my dear friend from his job.  The rest of the afternoon is play time for the kids while I try to get something done.  Over the summer, this is the ideal time for me to sit, relax and knit, or work on my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo.  Once we start up with homeschooling again, this is probably going to be the only time of day I have to write my articles for work, blog, and do whatever else comes to mind.  I've got an idea percolating for NaNoWriMo in November, and that will probably take up most of my afternoon relaxation time for the month.  Of course, I'll only have a couple hours since dinner needs to be on the table by 7pm, kids in bed by 9, which is about the time my darling friend watches the kids for me so I can pick up my partner from work at 10.  This schedule, of course, changes.  I have dance classes on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Rehearsals and events on weekends mix things up too.  However, we're falling into a routine, which is unusual for me.

I know time will be even more at a premium when fall comes around.  All three of my children are taking part in the homeschool co-op this year.  There's a wonderful local group called Open Minds.  I've been looking into them for nearly a year now, and finally I've gotten off my tail to make the enrollment deadline.  They'll be in classes from 9am to noon every Tuesday and Thursday.  It will be a wonderful way for the kids to connect with children their own age and learn while they're at it.  I have a feeling this will make our lives a whole lot happier.  It's hard being a homeschooling kid when all your friends go to school!

With our new routine we've learned a few things.  First, my kids need to get to bed earlier.  They spend too much of their time looking like zombies with an unpleasant attitude to match.  The older too need to stop taking regular naps during the day, no matter how much they need it, because they don't sleep at night, and, honestly, once the homeschool co-op starts up, they won't have time for a nap between getting home and driving everyone to and from work.  At least the baby will get his nap, but he cheats.  He sleeps in the car.  I need to start planning good hearty breakfasts, and lunches that can be made on the fly.  I'm going to need to come up with good options for dinner too.  We're going to have to work on getting an easy to work with routine going, that also includes plenty of time to keep after my house, something we're all slacking off on.

Of course, in order to do that we're really going to have to look into our options for storage.  We don't have much storage space.  No matter how much we take to Goodwill, we're still going to have stuff that needs to be stored.  I'm going to have to save up for dressers for the adults.  I need to pick up some toy storage units for the kids.  We need to make this house look more like, well, a home and not just a storage place that people live in.  Eventually I'd even like to get some of my own posters for the wall!

The Unschool Bus

As much as I have a love/hate thing with Facebook, my friend over at Otherwise Quite Good led me to something I'm glad we found.  It's called The Unschool Bus.  This project is absolutely inspiring.

This is very similar to something my family and I joked about doing for some time now.  I used to talk about buying some horses and wagons so we could travel around like the Gypsies of old.  In truth, the nomadic lifestyle kind of suits me.  I'd love to be able to pack everyone up and just relocate whenever we felt like it.  We want to go on a road trip for some school project or another?  That's great, we'll just pick up and go.  It would be so much easier knowing that our home could be with us all the time.  I think I might be more inspired to take a road trip back to visit with family that way!

Of course, this would be a lot harder to do if we had to rely on a steady, stable income.  We really wouldn't have any ability to work from a stable place.  We would constantly be on the go and that would make our lives far more difficult.  We would have to have some source of income that would be steady, aside from child support.  I suppose if I worked at it, I could in theory live by my writing, but I don't even know how possible that is.  It would be a lot of work, and I think it might be challenging with children so young.  I don't think I'd be comfortable until my youngest was at least four and even then it would still be challenging.

Still, it's something to think about.  It's a wonderful idea, even if it wouldn't necessarily be practical for my family.  It would be fantastic to do something like this.  Perhaps it's just a dream lifestyle, being free to go wherever we need to go.

Potty Learning Blues

I'm really hitting that point of being at wit's end.  My son just doesn't want to use the toilet.  We've done everything for him.  We've bought him special underwear.  We got him a seat for the toilet with a special step stool and everything.  We've even tried to bribe him to use the toilet instead of a diaper!  He was making so much progress, then all of the sudden he doesn't want to do it anymore.  It's too much work.  He'd rather be lazy, or that's what it seems.

This whole thing with having accidents, I know some people would say he's deliberately soiling or peeing in his underwear to rebel against us.  I've been told he's being willful.  I've been told he's doing it deliberately to stand against me, his own little act of rebellion.  I don't think that's so much the case at all.  He looks shocked when he has an accident and gets all upset.  I honestly think he doesn't mean to do it, he's just not paying enough attention to when he needs to use the toilet.

I've been told more times than I can count that I should shame him into using the toilet.  I should make him feel so bad about himself that he won't want to do anything else.  I'm really tired of this shame based world that we live in.  Yes, shame works, but shame could also lead him to hiding his dirty underwear or his blankets because he had an accident and is too afraid to admit it.  There is always the possibility that there's some deeper reason why he doesn't want to use the toilet.  With how much we have to fight him to change his diaper, I wouldn't be surprised.  That would explain why he goes through phases of doing incredibly well and then phases of not wanting to try at all.

Of course, it's also going to be harder for him right now.  We've got a lot going on right now.  Summer is a chaotic, crazy time.  We had someone move in with us in May, which always changes the routine.  Then both our new room mate and my partner got jobs about the same time, so we really had a lot of change go on.  Sleep schedules were disturbed.  Chaos ensued.  In truth, we're really not back to normal yet.  We'll probably be settling in somewhere around September, not for a lack of trying, but because things keep changing.  Things always move so rapidly in the summer.

I'm not really looking for advice.  I'm not looking to have anyone help me out on getting it done.  I'm really just kind of frustrated and venting.  My older son is four and still doesn't want to use the toilet.  My daughter was the same way, refused to use anything but her diaper until she was four and a half.  I just don't know if I can do that again for my littlest.  I don't think we can afford to have another one in diapers until after age four. I really hope my youngest doesn't follow the trend.

Maybe some of this is just coming out of my own exhaustion.  I'm trying to juggle a lot of things right now, from settling into a new routine to writing jobs to an attempt at my first novel for Camp NaNoWriMo to managing finances and catching up on bills to organizing and trying to get back into greener trends.  I think I just need to take a break, step back, and realize that it's all going to work out in time.

Texas Heat and Steam to Burn...

Texas weather is horrible.  By June it feels like it's 110 degrees out.  August only gets worse.  The humidity isn't much better.  I thought Massachusetts summers could be bad, but these are pretty brutal, but they have nothing on Texas.  I'd heard a lot about how Texas has a dry heat, but the people who always preached that must have been from West Texas because it's certainly not that way in Central Texas!

Summers in this area just aren't for kids.  The peak burning hours are brutal.  You can almost feel the sun burning your skin.  Unfortunately, shade isn't easy to come by.  Rainy days rarely happen, but it's so hot that no one wants to play when they're outside.  You can easily burn yourself on the pavement or any of the playscapes at the playground.  It's just not a fun time.  Yes, you can wear sunscreen and bring lots of water, but it's still pretty miserable.  This leads to kids being trapped in the house all day long, bored, and unable to blow off any steam.  Let me tell you, this leads to LOTS of running and craziness in the house.  I feel a little bad for our downstairs neighbors.

I would love to take the kids for evening walks, but this neighborhood isn't really the place for it.  Let's just say we don't live in the best of neighborhoods, and it seems like things are just steadily getting worse.  It's not easy to manage three kids on a walk at the best of times, never mind when you're wondering about the strange cars that have been driving by.  Yes, it's about time we upgrade our neighborhood.

The kids really need more freedom to get out, you know?  They need more space to run and play like kids.  It's days like these that I miss Massachusetts the most.  Yes, it's freezing in the winter, and driving in the snow isn't exactly the most fun when you're worried about your kids in the car, but I'd rather take that to these brutal Texas summers.  I'm not a fan of hot and cooped up kids.  It's much easier to bundle them up and toss them out in the snow than it is to explain to them why they can't go out and why playing in the water won't help terribly much.

For the next couple months we may focus on doing a lot of interesting homeschooling stuff, just to give the kids something to do.  I know it's not going to help their need to run around and enjoy the summer weather, but it's about all we can do.  Maybe if I can find enough things to keep them interested they'll be okay with not being out and doing nearly as much until it's a little more tolerable.

NaNoWriMo...Camp...?

I've known about NaNoWriMo for a couple years now.  I've been meaning to jump on board with it.  This year was the year.  I'm going to do it.  It would be good for me, but it also means something to my kids.  If they seem me working on this, well, maybe it will inspire them.

Then I heard about Camp NaNoWriMo.  It's two months of NaNoWriMo in the summer.  The site has a cute summer camp feel, and it looks like this is the first year they're doing it.  I've been feeling inspired lately.  I've been meaning to write a story.  It's in my brain, but I just have to write it.  In theory I could write both segments as one story and end up with a story about 350 pages.  That's a pretty average size novel in my experience, but that might be on the long side.  I don't know how it all pans out.  What I do know is anything I write is definitely not going to be something I try and sell.  I'm not that good of an author, and I know first attempts at novels rarely sell, so I don't think I'll even try.  Hell, I might not even be able to do it, but I've got to try, you know?

So, what is this whole NaNoWriMo?  Most of the people I know will be reading this already know.  It's National Novel Writing Month.  The idea is to write one 50,000 word novel in the month of November.  That's an average of about 1667 words a day.  To someone like me that can easily throw that into one blog post, that's not really a lot, but in putting it into story format it just might be.  I've got a lot of work to do if I'm going to make this work.  I guess it's a good thing it's summer.  I'm not focused on homeschooling so I can really take the time to write.  I might even be able to carve out some time at Starbucks to escape and get some work done.  I'm excited and inspired.

This is going to be a huge step for me as a writer.  It's not even about my abilities, or how good of a story I'll write.  It's really about accomplishing something, about saying I've actually done something with my life.  It's a goal with a very definite deadline.  If I can pull off a 50,000 word story in a month, what else am I capable of?  There's no time like the present, right?  So we'll see what I can come up with.  My focus is going to be July (even though I've missed the boat on the start date) and see what I can come up with.  After that, maybe I'll take on August?  Maybe I'll start a new story?  Maybe I'll just shoot for November?  Most importantly, if I can do this, I'm more than ready to take on a new challenge.  If I can do this, there's no question on whether or not I can take on the challenge of school!  If I've got that kind of dedication, school should be that much more realistic of a goal, right?  What a way to inspire myself as well as my children.

It's Summer Time!

So, we've been away for a while!  It's summer, and that happens.  We're doing all kinds of crazy things and life is being kind of chaotic.  We've had a lot happen!

So, I don't know where I was at when I last wrote (and I'm feeling a bit too lazy to look!) but a lot has happened.  It's been quite the adventure for the whole family.  There's been some good, some bad, and some just plain crazy.  We're making the best of it all, and it's made for some interesting times.

On May 1st we had a fire at the house.  We're still not aware of how it started, but the porch lit up and though we tried to put it out, it ended up getting out of control and the fire department had to be called.  The kids got to watch the front porch get hacked up with axes and a chain saw as they tried to get under the cement to get at the flames.  Thankfully the damage wasn't so bad, so we're still able to live in our apartment.

This is when we found out we had the landlords from...well...somewhere not nice.  Our front doorknob started falling off every time we tried to use the front door.  They tried to look for a way to put the fire damages on our renter's insurance, which was illegal.  When we caught on they tried to tell us the fire was our fault and we had to pay out of pocket for the damages.  They refused to let us see the fire marshal's report, which told us something shady was going on.  It took them over a month to fix our door knob.  The damages from the fire still aren't fixed.  In all of this, they decided they were going to sell the building.

Just after all of this went on our air conditioner went out.  Now, in other areas of the world, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but in a house that was in the high nineties all day long, that's kind of a big deal.  The baby had a horrible heat rash that was starting to consume his whole body, so we had to seek refuge at friends' houses so we wouldn't all be sick from the heat.  The most they could offer us was to move into the apartment next door, but for all that work we were going to get no compensation and needed to waste a lot of time and effort that we really couldn't expend at the time.  It would mean transferring our utilities and everything as well.   It would just be a lot of hassle and we opted to wait until they could fix it.

So, after all of that, the building was sold.  Wouldn't you know it?  The door knob was fixed the day it was sold.  The air conditioner was fixed in the next couple of days.  It's been nearly a month and the fire damage is getting fixed now too.  It's all going to look even better because we're getting a new coat of paint too.  I'm actually pleased with this new landlord.

That's kind of been our early summer, and part of the reason we've been so busy.  Hopefully we'll be back on track before summer is out!