Christmas 2016

Yup, it's Christmas again.  While the kids are busy playing Minecraft, I thought I'd take some time out to write a little something about our morning.  The kids are pretty well occupied and are having lots of fun, so why not?

This year, obviously, Minecraft is a huge hit this year.  Creeper and Link got Playstation cash to use to buy new Minecraft skins, maps, and texture packs.  They bought a whole bunch of stuff, including their new favorite, the Fallout map.  They're loving the chance to explore the world and ask about absolutely everything from the game.  Since they don't play Fallout (too many drug references for me to be comfortable with that), they want to know all about it.  I mean, they know some of the basics, like about Dogmeat, and Nuka Cola.  They don't know the world or anything about what they're looking at it.  They just love the world because the adults in their lives are pretty much all Fallout fans.  Their world is surrounded by it.  Besides, my dog gets called Nika Cola and I joked about changing her name to Dogmeat.

Actually, it's hard not to have Minecraft take over their lives.  They love the game and especially love to build and create.  It's a good outlet for them.  They mostly play in creative mode, so it's all about building and designing.  Minecraft is like LEGO blocks, in a way, but digital and totally changeable.

This year Pinkie's presents were all about the art.  She's been complaining about a lack of art supplies, so that had to be fixed.  She got pretty much nothing but art stuff, with some books and a Doctor Who necklace.  Some of the art stuff she got was pretty complex.  The book in the picture, for example, has all sorts of detailed pictures to color, something that will take her a lot of time to work on.  It's not like regular coloring books that take her all of two seconds to work through.  She'll be busy with that one for some time to come.

In a way she was a little disappointed at the lack of toys this year, but she's getting older.  The older she gets the less toys are going to be showing up under the tree.  Besides, I'm pretty sure she's happier with the art supplies and the Pokemon cards than she would be with a whole bunch of toys.  It suits her maturity level better.  She's been very much into art as she's always been.  She was so happy with the art supplies.  With the way she's going we may have to consider getting her more art supplies for her birthday too.  I've never seen her light up quite like she did for the coloring book and the geometric origami.  It's a little sad to see her so grown up, but at the same time it's really cool to watch her grow into the young adult she's becoming.

Link didn't get a whole lot of toys either this year.  He did, however, get a lot of Pokemon cards.  I think he's getting to an age where toys matter less and he's getting into other things.  I'm not going to say he's not into toys anymore.  He very much is, but he's getting to a point where other things are super cool too.

As you can tell by the picture, Link got a lot of Pokemon cards.  He should be able to build a pretty good deck with all of those  cards, especially since some of them are from the newest set.  He's got the special Pokemon set that goes with the Pokemon Moon game.  The set came with a few booster packs, some special holographic cards, and the Pokemon figure you can see in the picture.  Can you tell he was excited for his Pokemon stuff?

I think this is going to be a growing theme for Link.  I'm not going to say I don't want to buy him anymore toys but it's nice to be able to get him something that takes up less space and is equally fun.  Pokemon requires reading skills, logic, and a sense of tactics, making it an educational choice as well.  He's been more into video games than toys lately, but new cards should allow him to make more competitive decks, allowing him to win a bit more often.  It might be a good way to reduce screen time, as well as possibly a way to make new friends at Pokemon League events.

Then there's Creeper.  Creeper's big gift of the year was Minecraft for the PS4.  We had it before for the PS3, but that required changing between game systems, which was sometimes a bit of a pain.  Having it for the PS4 means he gets to play more often without having to change between systems.  This makes for a very happy Creeper.  He couldn't wait to play and didn't want to wait for the new stuff to download to play.  It was an exercise in patience.

There was a bit of a Minecraft theme to his presents this year overall.  Aside from a really cool Hulk figure and some art supplies, he got a bunch of little Minecraft mystery boxes and figures of Alex and Steve.  I think if Creeper's every present could be Minecraft themed from now until the end of time he'd be pretty happy with that.  He was super excited to get more Minecraft stuff.  It's just too bad his birthday and Christmas are right on top of each other.  He could get Minecraft presents twice a year to keep the present flow going.  We might just have to make half birthdays a thing, even though it'll be right around the corner from Bear's birthday.  At least it gives him a chance to get stuff at a different time of the year.

Then there's Bear.  Bear was positively spoiled this year.  Aside from the requested Batgirl costume (in nightgown form), there was also a lot of Frozen stuff, a Rapunzel tiara, a Barbie doll, some DC Superhero Girls action figures, arts and crafts stuff, and some stuff for Bear's baby doll, La-La, a gift from Bear's first birthday.  However the best gift of the whole lot was a little ceramic tea set.  Twice today I've been roped into playing tea before noon.  The only distraction was when Bear decided La-La  was hungry.  Then it was time to break out all the baby stuff and play with for a while.

Now, moment of honesty here, it's sometimes hard to get people on board with getting presents for Bear.  Bear was born male, so people often default to trucks and action figures.  However Bear prefers nightgowns, tutus, dolls, and apparently tea parties.  A lot of people aren't comfortable with that because it buck traditional gender roles.  Some days Bear wants to be a girl, and I'm okay with that, but a lot of people aren't.  I'm just really glad I was able to get Bear some really awesome and enjoyable stuff, and that we were able to have such a nice tea party together.  That really made Bear's day!

Even Nika got some nice gifts for Christmas.  She got a stuffed dragon and a Hover Disc from Ruffwear.  She's honestly not quite sure what to do with the Hover Disc.  I got it on a whim thinking it would be good to use out at the park, whatever parks allow dogs to be off leash.  It would be a good alternative to a ball and it's less strain on my elbow to throw a disc anyway.  That's why I'm able to go disc golfing.

More than anything Nika seemed incredibly confused by everything that was going on.  She didn't know what to do with all the noise, chaos, and paper flying everywhere.  Not sure what she was supposed to be doing, she chose to lay down in the middle of it all and watch the chaos from there.  I would think that would be the most overwhelming spot, but she seemed to like it well enough.  She was the calm at the center of the storm, I guess.  She was so overwhelmed that she barely wanted to hold her disc, though she carried it around for some time.  She didn't even play with her dragon toy, even though I know she loves those kinds of toys.  She likes to snatch them up, chase them around, and toss them.

Overall I'd say it's been a pretty successful Christmas, and this is just round one!  We've got two more Christmas events to go yet.  My parents are coming over tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with us.  Then the day after that my aunt and uncle are coming over.  I don't know what the kids are going to think of all that.  I'm sure they'll feel pretty spoiled after all is said and done.  It's also going to be chaotic for us.  We don't usually have that many people coming over to the house in such quick succession.  We've had our game nights, but that's about it.

The day started out the right way with presents then pancakes for breakfast.  We had our big turkey dinner last night, so tonight we're going to be getting Chinese food.  It's a Christmas night tradition.  I think that's my favorite part of the Christmas tradition.  The kids particularly love it too.  We didn't do it last year because we went to a friend's house for Christmas dinner, but I hope to make it our regular holiday thing again.  If we end up visiting on Christmas in the future we may have to swap things around and make it a Christmas lunch thing, but I particularly like not having anywhere to go on Christmas Day.  It makes for a wonderfully chill day!

Christmas Eve 2016

This was a Christmas Eve to be remembered.  The kids all got new pajamas to wear for Christmas Eve.  Pinkie got DC Superhero Girls.  It looks like this will be the last year Pinkie will be getting pajamas from the kids section.  These were almost too small for her.  Link got Star Wars pajamas in a favorite color, purple.  Creeper got Mario Bros.  Bear got Batgirl "nightgown costume."

This picture happened later in the evening, after all the kids had dinner and settled in to watch Prep and Landing, followed by Prep and Landing: Naughty vs. Nice.  This has become a yearly tradition.  It's also a tradition that makes me realize how much television companies must hate families on the East Coast.  The shows weren't even over until nine!  That meant the kids had to be hustled off to bed so that Santa could come.  It was an exhausting night for me.  Thankfully the kids went to sleep almost as soon as they were sent to bed.  I think it's because they all wanted Santa to come.  We watched Santa's launch on Reindeer Cam, then watched our shows.  We even tracked Santa on the Santa Tracker.  I think that helped motivate them to get to bed on time.

Of course, that wasn't the start of the day.  We began the day with lots of cleaning.  To keep Bear out of the way we decided to make a Christmas potholder.  I'm an evil mom.  I made Bear work on patterns.  Bear picked a pattern for the colors and we had to follow them.  Now there's a Christmas potholder hanging on the tree.  I suppose that's a good place for it.  As always, I realize just how challenging those things are for little hands!  I can't imagine how I must have done them when I was a kid!

Pot holder making wasn't the only bit of creativity we had.  The printer I got as a Christmas present to the family was set up, so I printed out Christmas themed coloring pages for the kids.  This kept them busy and out of my hair while I served up dinner.  We had our big turkey dinner then instead of on Christmas day.  Christmas Day is always Chinese food for dinner, unless we go over a friend's house.  The coloring pages were a brilliant idea.  I get the feeling I'm going to be shelling out a lot in printer paper, between school workbook pages (which the kids surprisingly like doing) and coloring pages for the holidays, I think that thing's going to get a workout.  That's not even taking into account the things that I may need to print up!

As things settled down for the evening I was able to finally start to relax.  The kids got to put on their pajamas.  Bear particularly loved the Batgirl nightgown, especially because it had a cape.  How often do you find pajamas with a cape?  Especially one as sparkly as this one has.  I'd gone out earlier in the day to get the pajamas, braving the cold, rain, and crowds.  It was our special Christmas Eve present, which they got on Christmas Eve, combining two traditions into one.  Usually the kids all get at least one present on Christmas Eve.  There's also a tradition where someone has to go out and buy at least one Christmas related item on Christmas Eve.  Usually this ends up being some kind of chocolate for the stockings.  This year it was pajamas, an afterthought really, but I had a gift card, and surprisingly they were all about half off, some even more than that.  At the end of it there was money left over on the gift card and I'm pretty proud of that.  Since we usually aim to get the kids a pair of new pajamas every Christmas, I guess you could say this blended all three traditions, and it wasn't all that expensive.  Unfortunately, waiting until so late made for incredibly limited selections, but it all worked out in the end.

Finally the night ended with all the presents neatly under their respective trees.  Bear had the live Norfolk Island Pine.  Creeper used his Christmas cactus.  Link used our sorry looking bonsai that's looking more like a Charlie Brown tree these days.  Pinkie, being the oldest, got the biggest tree.  I almost wish I'd swapped Pinkie and Bear's gifts as Bear had the most of all.  Bear, being the littlest, got spoiled, which is okay by me because Bear is usually the one left out or forgotten about.

If you were to look at pictures of the number of presents this year in comparison to last year, the amount is far smaller, aside from Bear's.  I have to admit, I'm pretty happy with the turnout though.  It feels good to not have our tree spilling over with stuff, Here's the shocker.  Next year we might even be able to fit everyone's stuff under the same tree!  I guess that's the joy of becoming a little more minimalist.  We're filling the house with less quantity and more quality than we have in the past.  Then again, we have two more rounds of Christmas to go before the holiday is over.  I just hope their Christmas is as good as I hope it's going to be!

Thanksgiving and Gearing Up for Christmas

Thanksgiving went really well this year.  We got up early and watched the parade, then the dog show stayed on while Pinkie and I prepped and stuffed the turkey.  Pinkie had never done it before, and since she's interested in cooking, I decided it was time, especially if she wants to go into culinary.  It's going to be necessary to learn how to work with raw meat, as much as she doesn't want to.  She was pretty proud of having helped make dinner for Thanksgiving.  Then the kids did their favorite thing to do ever, played lots and lots of Minecraft.

No, I'm sure it's not surprising that the kids played Minecraft, but this time they played in Festive world, which is the Christmas world on Minecraft.  We listened to the "Friendsgiving" station on Pandora while the tree was brought up from the basement.  Though it's not a traditional Thanksgiving thing to do, we set up the tree.  The kids loved watching it go up in the background while they played Minecraft.  They had a lot of fun exploring all the different places they could go.  They found things out like the presents were made of wool.  It was great to see them working together to build their house, and to hear their comments as they flew through Santa's Workshop.

While that was fun for the older kids, Bear got quickly bored of watching them.  Together we sat to work on something we'd gotten started with a long time ago, making potholders, though I guess they don't call them pot holders anymore.  We picked out "Frozen" colors, though the lighting isn't good to see it here.  It's dark blue, light blue, pink, and purple.  And, no, Bear isn't hiding because I don't want my kids' faces on the internet, but because that's what Bear wanted to do for a picture.  Silly Bear!

I absolutely love the idea of making these little pot holder things.  They're great for the manual dexterity thing.  It's not exactly easy to weave those loops through each other to get them hooked at either edge.  It takes patience to work through each segment, making sure that everything is crossed the right way and over or under both sides of the loop it's passing.  I ended up weaving the edge together because that part is frustrating and challenging, even for me, and I'm an adult.  As much as I used to love doing those as a kid, I can't help but think how complicated the craft really was.  The funny thing is I used to love doing them when I was younger, but now it boggles my mind how I did it all those years.  It's kind of a pain to work with.

And oh my goodness the food!  We had so much food, more than we could ever possibly eat in one day, or so I thought.  This is my stove.  On it are gravy, mashed potatoes, peas, corn, green beans (dressed up with breadcrumbs and Parmesan cheese), and carrots.  As you can tell, my little four burner stove isn't quite large enough for the amount of food we made.  All of that was being kept warm by the heat coming off of the oven roasting the turkey.  On top of all that and the turkey, we also had stuffing and cranberry sauce.  It was quite the feast.  Of course, the turkey was started so late that we ended up eating crazy late, but it was totally worth it.  We snacked on round one of the meal while watching Turkey Hollow and went through round two towards the end.

I'll be honest, I expected to put half of what we made away for later.  Instead we ended up eating most of it.  There were no potatoes left, only about a single serving of green beans, not enough corn to save, a decent amount of cranberry sauce, and small bowls of both stuffing and carrots.  Of course, there was a decent amount of turkey, but the leftovers only lasted us one more day.  I didn't plan for that at all.  I mean, we are a big family, so that's something, but those kids can really put away some food!

As the weekend went on, we decided it was time to finish the tree.  Out came the ornaments and the lights for the little tree and we went to town.  We started with the big tree.  We don't have a lot of ornaments for the big tree yet, so only the front got finished, and we don't have a tree skirt or anything fancy, but it turned out pretty well.  Most of the ornaments on the tree are handmade.  I even have a few that are possibly older than I am that my mom made.  My mom gave them to me last year when she heard I needed ornaments for my tree.  I'm surprised at just how much coverage we have on the whole thing.  I was expecting it to be far more sparse.

Eventually I'd like to get to the point where the big tree is decorated with nothing but ornaments that were made by the family.  That would really make me happy.  That's a tall order if I were just going to keep it to the immediate family, but there are some nice pieces that will stay from my extended family as well.  I just really like knowing that the ornaments each have a history, they were made by someone and that makes them special.  That means a lot to me.  I'd even be happy to extend that to friends who are close enough to be family.  Whatever gets the tree covered with pieces from important people in our lives.

The little tree, on the other hand, doesn't have the same flair.  Its branches are small, which means it can't hold the heavy ornaments the other tree can.  Instead of going for handcrafted ornaments, we've opted for some cheap ones with glitter on them.  The lights are a bit large and heavy for the little tree, but it definitely looks pretty.  They change colors gradually between blue and white.  Between the colors and the lights, we've dubbed that tree "the Frozen tree."

Last year we had four trees, the big one, the Frozen tree, "the owl tree," and "the weird tree."  Each kid had a tree of their own where their presents sat.  This year we're going to be doing the same, with some modifications.  Each of the kids has picked their "tree."  I use that term loosely because Creeper decided he didn't want a tree this year.  He wants to use his Christmas cactus instead.  Link is getting "the weird tree," which is nothing more than an overgrown bonsai style tree.  that poor tree has taken a lot of abuse and kind of looks more like a Charlie Brown tree these days.  The big tree goes to Pinkie, just like last year.  The Frozen tree goes to Bear, since Bear was the one who selected everything to make it the Frozen tree in the first place.  Finally, "the owl tree," which is another Norfolk Island Pine with a glow in the dark owl post stuck in the pot, belongs to the adults that will be celebrating Christmas with us this year.

Family Traditions, Or Lack There Of

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  We're not doing the usual big thing everyone else does.  Instead we plan on having a Thanskgiving/Christmas season change.  We're going to be setting up all of our Christmas decorations while eating turkey and enjoying other holiday foods.  This is new for us.  Usually we end up going somewhere or hosting our own Thanksgiving, but this year is different.  We're spending it at home with lots of food to anticipate having.

I'm actually kind of looking forward to this.  It's kind of fun to break tradition.  We had very strict "no Christmas before Thanksgiving" rules in our family growing up, so it's fun to be able to buck tradition and do something so different.

It's not just that tradition that's been shifted.  We have a tradition of setting the house up for Christmas on Black Friday instead of shopping.  This year we've got a birthday party to go to, and Pinkie and Link are going to be staying overnight.  We're not going to be able to do it that night and include everything, and we don't want to push it too far into the weekend.  We're definitely ready for Christmas around here.

Of course, it's not hard to be ready for Christmas.  We've already gotten so many offers to help with Christmas for the kids.  It's hard not to be ready for Christmas when we're already talking about what the kids want.

So what do the kids want for Christmas?  Pinkie is really craving some new art supplies.  She's always been the artist in the family.  She's also dying for Pokemon Sun.  I know she's not going to be reading this, so saying she'll be getting the game for Christmas is safe, for now.  Link wants anything Minecraft, as does Creeper (no surprise there).  Bear want's everything DC Superhero Girls.  All three of them are going to be getting Animal Crossing A New Leaf, that way they can play together.  Aside from the games, you'll just have to wait and see what they get for Christmas until then!

On top of it all, we found out that Kiwi Crate offers four different crate products.  Technically they've got five because there was a thing about a newborn box.  Obviously I don't need to worry about a newborn box.  We're thinking of getting the Koala Box for Bear, since it's for ages 3-4, even though it'll be for kids younger than Bear halfway through the year.  I don't think six months of the wrong craft will really be a problem.  The Kiwi Box is for kids 5-8, and that would be perfect for Creeper.  Then there's a Doodle Box of art supplies which would be perfect for Pinkie, and a Tinker Box, which would be fantastic for Link.  Both are for 9+, so that suits their ages too.  We really want to do a year's subscription.  While it's a decent amount of money, I have a feeling they'll get more attention than a magazine subscription.  If it works out we may decide to do it again every year until they kids are grown.  At that point we'll probably go back to more conventional gifts.

As you can see, I'm already ready for Christmas this year.  If it wasn't for Thanksgiving being tomorrow, I'd already be dragging out the decorations and setting up the tree.  Clearly I'm going to be ready to jump on this first thing tomorrow!

Family Tradition of Christmas Presents...What Were We Thinking?

Over the past few years we'd kept the presents hidden away until Christmas Eve.  All of the presents would be put out at night, after the kids all went to bed.  Usually this was met with me cursing my own exhaustion as I wrapped all of the presents that had been unwrapped, which took me until well early in the morning.  We all know kids, waking up at the crack of dawn Christmas morning, so this usually meant for a very wiped out mama come time to open the presents.

For those of you who remember last year, our tree was pretty much over-run by presents.  Santa didn't bring terribly much, and Chesh and I didn't get much, but my Aunt and Uncle's incredible generosity combined with my Grama's gifts made the tree pale in comparison to the pile of gifts.  We decided then that we had to do things differently next year.

Now, I'll be honest, I never anticipate as much stuff as we end up getting.  This year we know Santa's planning to get more than he did last year.  We've talked to him about keeping the tradition of family activities.  Since he's not bringing them a big, expensive kitchen set this year, or anything just as fancy and expensive, we've talked him into bringing a couple small gifts from the whole family.  He's whispered rumors of bringing an additional gift for everyone in the family, even us adults, so we're going to have to plan for five extra gifts under the tree this year.  I hope they're not too big!  Space is at a premium under that tree!  Okay, so maybe not so much yet, but with our current set-up, big presents mean we're going to have to move some furniture to make room for it all, something we may just have to do anyway!

At the moment each of the kids have their presents from my mom under the tree.  My daughters gifts from Chesh and I are there.  My littlest has his gifts from Chesh and I.  My older son only has his gift from Chesh, but I got sick over the weekend, so I haven't gotten around to wrapping the last one.  We've got a stack of little gifts on the table under our small tree because that's where my littlest wanted his birthday presents to go.  For now, it's a suitable arrangement.

The older two are supposed to be getting presents from their dad, but I never know with him.  He makes a lot of promises, but he doesn't follow through on most of them.  Generally until I get confirmation on things I don't know for sure if they're done or not.  In other words, since he won't get me tracking numbers or anything, I won't know until they get here.  Thankfully, this year I'm being smart and not saying a word to the kids until we've got presents in hand.  I had seriously considered buying "back up gifts" to give to them "from their father", but it's not in the budget and I really don't think it's right for me to lie to my kids like that.  Either their father will make sure it happens...or he won't...  It's got me stressed out both in the "under the tree real estate" department (since I know the gifts he was wanting to send aren't exactly small) and because it's hard to be dancing around, knowing that you might be getting something, but not knowing whether to worry if nothing shows.

Thankfully, on the more reliable side, I know my aunts presents are due here this week.  I'm excited to see how we're going to fit all that under the tree.  One thing I've learned about my aunt is whether the quantity of gifts is great or small, there's always interesting shapes to work with.  She's not one of those people who believes a present in an unconventional shape should go in a box.  She wraps it just the way it is, which only makes the holiday so much better as the kids stare down their presents, wondering what each package could be.  The more creative shapes always end up with more creative answers.  Of course, these can also be harder to stack under the tree.  I'm kind of excited to see what we'll be working with this time around.

Of course, having all the presents under the tree ahead of time does make things more challenging.  It's great because the kids have that much longer to wonder what each present is before Christmas finally comes.  However, that comes with the cost of keeping the kids out of the presents!  My older son has already said ten times he wants to open his presents right now!  My daughter is happy to wait and look at them for hours, but she has to ask me a million questions about each present.  My littlest is content to rearrange the presents, which isn't so bad, I guess.  I love having the presents out where everyone can see, but I'm not sure if this is going to be the brightest of ideas for next year.  I may just have to go back to putting all the wrapped presents up in my closet until Christmas eve and then spend all that time putting them all out, which hopefully won't be so long given I'm trying to get in the habit of wrapping in advance!

Rebuilding Bridges with my Mother

It's been years since my mom and I talked with any kind of regularity.  She and I have grown apart over the years.  For a while I thought having a child might bring us closer together, and I guess it kind of did, but then I moved halfway across the country and it seemed like the distance between us was just as physical as it was anything else.  It was like a shocking reality of just how far apart we'd grown.

I think it was a couple of years ago that I really got upset about this and wrote in an old live journal about how I'd blamed my mom for the distance, but I think it was both of us, really.  I used to say that she just gave up because I was no longer nearby, convenient, and making all the effort.  Maybe that really was part of it.  I'm sure it probably was, but at the same time, I was going through a lot and wanted to blame everyone for my problems but me.  I didn't want to admit that I could have made a bigger effort with my family too.

For the past nearly five years I've been in Texas.  This is our fourth Christmas living in Texas and our third one actually staying in state.  I didn't think this year would be any different.  My aunt would send us a ton of cool stuff for the kids.  My grandmother would send some stuff too.  Maybe the older two would get something from their dad, but I'd never know for sure until it arrived on my doorstep.  I'd do what I could for the kids, but I never planned to get anything crazy, wild, or fancy.  That would pretty much be it.  Sander's birthday would be filled with loving gifts from my aunt and my grandmother, as well as some gifts from Chesh and I, but we wouldn't be able to do much.  That's pretty much how it goes every year.  Our gingerbread party usually only has a couple people ending in a pretty small gathering which has been really nice.  It's a small, quiet holiday.

This year I was a little surprised to see an e-mail in my inbox from my mother asking me what the kids wanted for Christmas.  She said she'd really like to get something specific for Bunny Boo, but she wanted to make sure the boys weren't left out.  She wanted to know what kinds of things they liked so she could shop for them.  She had some ideas of her own, of course, and let me tell you, after seeing all the boxes come in from my mom, I was completely shocked!  There was a lot of stuff there.

Now, let me tell you a thing or two about my mom.  Boy can that woman shop!  It's not so much that she likes to buy stuff, but the things she likes to buy.  My mom always picks out the best toys, and I think it's because she put so much time and consideration into the things she bought for my sister and I when we were younger.  She just seems to have a knack for picking out wonderful toys.  I've noticed cost doesn't seem to be much of a concern for my mother.  It's not so much that the sky's the limit for spending.  It's more that she'd rather focus on quality over cost.

For years I wondered how she managed.  We were never a family that had much money, so it was always a shock to see the piles of presents under the tree.  I suppose she had it easier, in a way, only having two children instead of three like my family has, or five like some of the families I know.  Even so, I always thought it was a Christmas miracle.  I couldn't imagine she would be able to hide all of that stuff without my sister and I noticing, not in the small apartment we lived in.  The whole idea just seemed impossible.

As I contacted my mom to let her know of each delivery and arrival, my mom and I would talk with every message.  She told me how she'd find the toys when they were on sale and hide them away no matter what time of year it was.  Then when it got close to Christmas time she only had the fun stuff to worry about.  She saved a lot of money and broke up the cost throughout the year, so the burden of Christmas shopping was much less of a problem.  Sure, she spent a lot of money on Christmas, but breaking it up throughout the year was what made it possible, and finding good sales only helped.

We've talked about a lot more than just Christmas shopping.  My mom said she hoped that we'd make cookies this year, since she loved doing it so much when we were kids.  I remember making cookies with my mom every year.  I haven't told her this yet, but we have a pancake breakfast every year to try and keep the family tradition.  It's not quite the same as what my mom used to do.  She'd go all out with eggs, bacon, sausage, and waffles.  We don't do the bacon because of the pork and turkey bacon just isn't the same.  Sausage sometimes ends up on the menu because there are so many varieties other than pork.  Eggs are a must on Christmas morning, even if I can't eat them anymore.  We top it all off with pancakes as a poor substitute for waffles.  The absence of a waffle iron makes a waffle breakfast difficult.  Some day we'll have a waffle iron and be able to keep to the tradition.  For several years we'd make fudge every year, just like my mom always did, but it's hard to get motivated without the right ingredients.  I'd meant to order some Marshmallow Fluff, but it was forgotten on the list of Christmas shopping and it's so much more expensive to order online.  The alternatives down here just aren't the same.  It's just one more thing that makes me think of my mom.

As we got to talking, she and I touched upon the idea of image.  It's hard when your friends all have their own houses and have husbands with decent jobs.  It seems like in the homeschool community there's a lot of people with money.  I'm almost embarrassed to admit we're a poor family.  It's not easy to tell people we're on WIC and food stamps when they own their own house and have two nice cars.  It's not easy to explain that we just can't afford to fly home for Christmas when they talk about taking all these trips and about their adventures in foreign countries.  I'm intimidated to have these families over to the little trailer we call home.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with our place, but it's not easy to have people look down on you, and it's hard to accept that not everyone will.

Talking with my mom reminded me of something.  She said that one of the kids we knew said we could have a nicer place if she bought us less toys.  Well, I suppose if she spent less money on my sister and I we could have had a nicer place, that's true.  How much nicer of a place is questionable, but nicer.  We would have had a less cluttered house too.  However, looking back at my childhood I don't see an apartment that must have been pretty run down by all the splinters I remember.  I see moments.  I think of my sister and I coming in from playing in the snow while my dad shoveled the stairs and the driveway, stuffing our boots and gloves on and under the radiator, and being met with fresh popcorn and hot chocolate.  I remember my dad making snow animals at the end of the stairs, and saying the neighbor complained because it made the snow harder to shovel.  I remember making cookies with my mom and from what I remember, it seemed like we did it a lot.  I remember dressing up in my school uniform and having french toast for breakfast because my mom always made us breakfast before school.  I remember learning how to use the old rotary phone.  I remember all our girl scout projects and trips.  I remember swimming with my dad at the local reservoir, and my mom taking us there almost every day in the summer and sitting there for hours, working on embroidery, while my sister and I played.  I always loved watching her with her cross stitch.  Every time we'd come back to take a peek there was something new to discover.  We'd run around like crazy kids in he forsythia bushes in our tiny front yard, pretending they were wild rabbit dens and all sorts of crazy thing.  I also remember helping my mom with our tiny garden that always seemed to grow so perfect, no matter what was going on.

I guess what I'm saying is it shouldn't matter how much money a family has, but how happy they are.  Looking back at my life, sure, I would have loved my own room or a big back yard, but not if it replaced the moments in my life.  Because of the way we were raised, my sister and I were very creative and inventive.  We were always making up our own crazy adventures.  We even decided that our American Girl dolls had a time machine and could travel to visit each other because it didn't make sense that kids from two time periods would play together.  They would have to dress up in each other's clothes and come up with some crazy story about why they were visiting.  Their families knew, of course!  How could you not know you owned a time machine?  But the contemporaries at the time couldn't know about it.  We were raised to be respectful too, and to honor the people around us.  I know at times we've shown the standard lack of respect of kids our generation, but I remember always trying to be as polite and courteous as possible.

The sacrifices my family made in lifestyle were certainly made up for on other fronts.  My sister and I learned to truly enjoy life.  I can imagine it would have been much different if my mother put all her efforts into making sure we had the nicest apartment we could afford.  I'd like to think my kids are going to go through much the same sort of thing.

There are also so many people I doubt I would have looked at twice had I been used to "higher standards". Because of the way I was raised, I realized that I wasn't like my friends with more money in many ways, but at the same rate, I was no different.  I didn't think in terms of class or money.  If I did, I surely would have passed up Chesh, who says his family is trailer trash, but that's what he came from.  He doesn't focus on having all the luxuries we may want, but he lives to see the kids brighten up and smile.  Much like my mom, he seems to take delight in seeing the kids light up when they get the perfect gift, or when they find out he's been planning a surprise for them.  He believes they should live for the moments, which is why we've gone on field trips and to events that we probably shouldn't have spent the money on.  He'd rather be poor as a pauper and in debt up to his eyeballs than deny the kids a wonderful experience they're going to remember straight into adulthood.  That really sounds like my mom, but if I'd been raised like a lot of the people I once knew, I can't help but think I'd look down on him because he grew up in a trailer park, no matter how nice he cleans up.  His bad habit of being poor because he'd rather provide a good time his family will remember now than save money for later would be highly frowned upon.  In many ways, he's just different.  I think in many ways my mom is too.

It's taken years to open up the lines of communication between us and I really hope it doesn't stop once Christmas has passed.  I know it's all too easy to get lax in communication when the holidays pass or there isn't some event to encourage talking.  I don't want to see things go that way again.

This year has been strange.  There's been a lot of good coming out of unexpected places.  There's a lot of battered and broken bridges that are finally being repaired.  It just seems like my life is being rebuilt.  It gives me a lot of hope for the new year.  It gives me hope that even with all the hard times my kids have seen, we'll make it through okay.  Some day they'll grow up and realize I did the best I could, and in reality, it really wasn't all that bad.

Favorite Christmas Specials

Christmas specials are a part of the holiday season for most people.  Those with cable or satellite often catch them on regular broadcast.  Some have extensive collections of holiday specials.  In our home, we don't have any of that.  My ex really wasn't a fan of Christmas in any way, shape, or form and didn't even want me decorating.  As time went on, things changed.  I've become more and more in tune with Christmas with each passing year.  That means picking out my favorite Christmas specials, even if I can't get my hands on all of them right away.

When I was growing up there were a lot of diverse specials.  Some were religious, others weren't.  Some were live action.  There were animated ones and ones with puppets.  Many of them you won't see today.  There are a million Christmas specials out there for every channel imaginable, and a huge number of "made for TV" movies.  A lot of the older classics with their poorer production quality have become forgotten or replaced with something a little more modernized.

For me, the most memorable Christmas special of all time was a recording off the television that my mom had made years ago.  For the longest time no one I knew had ever seemed to have seen it.  I remember watching it several times a year because we thought it was so funny.  The move I'm talking about is A Muppet Family Christmas.  There's nothing like combining the many directions of Jim Henson's work.  The Muppets show up, of course, and they Fozzy's mom's house, which Doc and Sprocket from Fraggle Rock are renting out for the holidays.  Then the monsters and animals of Sesame Street drop by as carolers.  Even the Fraggles make an appearance.  It's been my all-time favorite story for years.

Of course, I'll never forget the year my uncle and aunts took my sister and me to see The Muppet Christmas Carol.  I didn't expect it to be much.  I'd seen a whole bunch of other versions and as much as I was excited to see this one, I already knew the story.  How much new and different could you do with it?  However, this quickly became my favorite version for it's sense of humor and creativity.  On top of that, it has Bean from The Tale of the Bunny Picnic , which was also a childhood favorite of mine.  This has become a family classic, something we can't wait to watch every year.

There's also another unknown Muppet classic that I adore every Christmas, but haven't seen in years.  It's not your typical Muppet movie, with all your favorite cast and crew.  It only features Kermit for a few minutes in the beginning, and again at the end, but my sister and I used to watch this movie as many times as we could each year, until we drove my mother nuts, I'm sure!  Our absolute all time favorite as kids was Jim Henson's The Christmas Toy.  There's nothing to inspire a child like a story where their toys come to life and they learn about love, friendship, and the holiday spirit.


Another movie I loved and was starting to think I made up entirely can be found in the two disk double feature (conveniently two more of my favorite movies),The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus and Nestor the Christmas Donkey.  The first is a story about the counsel of immortals deciding whether or not to grant Claus, who grew up in the valley of the immortals and was later sent to face life in the mortal world, immortality for his good deeds.  It's a little sad as Claus will die that night if they don't grant him immortality.  The counsel of immortals was always a little scary to me when I was a child because they're a strange looking lot, especially the creepy wind guy.  The Great Ak, the head of the counsel and the one who brings Claus out into the world is a great old wizard like guy with two giant antlers on his head.  Looking back now the Pagan imagery is just fantastic!  On top of that, the story of how Claus got his start is pretty fantastic too.  He made the first ever toy for an orphan that liked his little cat so much.  The trend caught on, so he began to make and deliver toys to everyone.  Originally it was a lioness (probably a mountain lion?) the one that raised him, that pulled the cart for him to deliver his toys, and he actually had an adversary, trolls, that didn't want him delivering the toys because they believed in living off the villager's fear.  I didn't realize it until I was older, but the Norse mythological imagery included in this film is absolutely fantastic!  It's a refreshing break from the typical view of Santa Claus.

Pairing that with a very Christian film may seem like an odd combination to me, but Nestor was always one of my favorites come Christmas time.  He was a cute little donkey with long ears that tripped him up all the time.  His mother died to save his life, and a little cherub came down from the heavens to guide him where he needed to go.  As it turns out, Nestor, with his long and clumsy ears, was the perfect donkey to carry Mary to Bethlehem.  He wrapped her up in his long ears to protect her from the wind and desert sands.  He's always been one of my favorite Christmas characters, in part because a creature that's so flawed actually finds that his biggest flaw turns out to be the perfect trait that would allow him to do something so incredibly important.  He was chosen above all the other normal donkeys because he was different and special.  On top of that, it's incredibly sweet that it all starts out with a little nativity set up inside Santa's stable.  It was a wonderful link between the standard holiday classics and this wonderful story.

Of course, there are tons of holiday specials out there.  I'm sure there's so many at this point that you could watch ten of them every day from the first day of December until Christmas and still never repeat a viewing! Even so, some classics will always hold a place in my heart.  Over they years I'm going to start collecting all my favorites.  I can't wait to share them with my kids.  It'll be so nice when we can have our own Christmas Movie Night with friends and family like my aunt does back home.  It's just one more way we can bring a little piece of my family holidays and traditions down here to Texas.

Theme for the Year, Useful Gifts

It's that Christmas time of year again.  Everyone is out shopping.  In our family we don't really do much of a gift exchange with the adults.  I usually exchange gifts with my partner, but that's about it.  However, kids are a very different story.

This year we've decided to go for a break from traditional.  I was originally going to hand-make all of my gifts this year, but that ambitious goal turned out to be too ambitious for me.  I figured that would cut down on consumerism, but the truth is I'll still end up buying things to make the present.  It's not like I have a sheep to sheer, then wash the fleece, card it, spin it, knit with the yarn, and some time in the process, dye it with home-made dyes that I grow at my own home.  The consumer process does happen in there, and while home-made gifts are typically the best, I honestly think there should be a some value placed on time.  Right now, it's something I just don't have enough of.

That being said, I wanted our Christmas present theme to be useful items.  Now, I know I'm going to be expecting some toys for family.  No matter what you say, nor how much you beg people not to, there are always going to be people who insist on giving toys to kids.  I've decided I'm not going to fight it.  More importantly, it's good for kids to receive toys for holidays and birthdays.  How else will they end up with new toys as they outgrow the old?

Every year my aunt has always been fantastic with flooding our house with useful things.  She sends us crayons, markers, and pencils.  There's been drawing paper, workbooks, and coloring books.  There's been crafts to decorate with and lots of other stuff to inspire creativity.  She sends books, which are always good to have.  There's so much variety, but I noticed that most of it has been useful, at least for the older two, even with a good number of toys sprinkled throughout.

Because of my aunt's inspiration and looking at my children's insane number of toys, I decided this year it's time for something different.  Last year Santa was a huge hit for bringing games to the whole family.  This year he's planning the same.  They encourage family time, togetherness, and fun.  However, this year our family is focusing on things that can inspire outside interests, and we're going to carry that through birthdays and everything.  It means knowing a lot more about my kids than what a kid of their gender and age would like.  However, it's totally worth it.  This is what makes gifts that wow.

Taking my daughter as an example, we can see what appeals to her quite easily.  Archery would be a good direction to choose.  She loves it.  She's been begging me for her own bow and arrows ever since she shot her first arrow.  She's all about art, always wanting to draw, paint, color, or otherwise create masterpieces.  I want to pick something that will appeal to those interests of hers.

My older son is really into art and music.  He likes to sing and make music on anything he can make noise on.  He loves to draw and paint too.  I want to encourage him in those fields because he needs to have interest in something other than toys.  He's got to start developing his own tastes.  He also loves science, but finding science stuff for his age isn't something I'm particularly good at.

The littlest one is really only into making messes right now, so it's hard to pick things he'd like.  He's good with coloring and seems to like the idea of painting.  Anything he can squish in his fingers is also good, so soft clays may not be a bad choice either.

I'm starting to realize that my kids have very limited interests.  They haven't experienced life as much as I might wish.  They don't really have much of an idea of what they might like to be when they grow up because they haven't experienced enough to know.  My daughter wants to be an artist and my older son wants to be a rock star, but how do they know for sure?  They haven't really had a chance to dabble in other areas of life.  Maybe my older son will always want to be a rock star, or a musician of some kind.  Maybe my daughter will always want to be an artist, but at least I hope I can open up some other options for them so they know for sure.  More importantly, if they do decide to keep those career choices, at the least maybe they'll know what direction within those careers.  Maybe my daughter will decide she wants to be a painter, an illustrator, or a potter.  Perhaps my son will want to grow up to be a classical guitarist or a musician with the orchestra.  We won't know until they get there.  All I can do is take this time to give them as many opportunities to explore as possible, and Christmas is just as good of a chance as anything else.

I feel pretty good about this Christmas.  I feel like I'm finally doing something better than just getting toys and leaving it at that.  I'm hoping that they find it as wonderful of a Christmas as I'm planning it to be.  After all, if I can't get away from consumerism, I might as well use the holiday season as a time to help my kids advance their own goals or find new areas of exploration in life.  There are plenty of people to make sure they have toys.  I know them better than anyone else, so it really should be my job to pick out the things that will inspire them this year.

Taking the Back Seat

It's that time of year again, Christmas.  It's the season of consumerism and the competition to get the best gifts every year.  I'm not that kind of person.  My children are what's important this holiday season.  There's something about seeing their smiles on Christmas day that makes it worth it to make sacrifices, even when I feel like maybe I should just step up and be the one to take credit for what I do.

For the past three years I've tried to make sure my older two get something incredibly awesome from their dad.  Often times it's meant a good deal of hurting on my part.  These were things I'd intended on getting for my own kids.  I wanted to be the ones to light up their faces the way they do.  Sometimes it kind of hurts to know that, while it was my brilliant idea, I can't take any of the credit.  I have to stand in the background and let someone else stand in the spotlight, someone who wouldn't have even come up with such a brilliant idea if I'd never brought it up.

Of course, isn't that kind of what Christmas is about?  It's about seeing the joy on the faces of the people you love.  In this case, it's knowing my kids are happy, not about my own personal pride at being the one to make them happy.  I know in my heart it's my doing that made them happy and that should matter far more than my kids knowing I was the one behind all of it.  Isn't that kind of the idea of Santa too?  It's not so important that someone knows you were the one to do something for them.  That's all a matter of pride.  It's the joy that's important, so not taking credit for something my kids get from "Santa" is worth it.

In a way, I'm also trying to do something good for the kids' father as well.  True, he's getting the credit for my brilliant idea and all he has to do is physically get the stuff with his own money, but it means something to the kids.  With how frustrated they've been at the absence of their father in their life, it makes them feel good and cared about to have their dad get them something so incredibly special.  It helps their feeling of connection with their father, even if it's not the same as if he'd made the effort himself.

I know I could be like so many other moms out there.  I could tell their father if he really cared about what the kids were into or what they wanted, he should talk to them about it.  I could just give him a vague overview.  I could just tell him something simple and vague, or to buy them things they need, like clothes.  I know a lot of moms that expect their ex to figure it out on their own or take the time with the kids to figure it out, but I don't really want to do that.  I know exactly what the gift of the year would be for my kids, and I know a part of what makes those gifts so special is who they got it from.  I don't want them to be disappointed by their father.  They've got enough disappointment in their lives.

Even so, it's really hard.  I feel like I'm shielding my kids from the harsh reality of what's going on in their relationship with their father.  I'm sure at some point they'll both realize that their dad relies on me to tell him what they're into and what to get.  I don't know if they'll appreciate it more or think less of me for letting him take all the credit.  I guess the truth of the matter is I want them to feel like they matter, even if that means letting their dad give them the things I know in my heart will truly make them happy.