The Saga of the Shiny Sink

As I mentioned before, it was my friend The Artsy Eclectic over at Otherwise Quite Good that first told me about FlyLady.  I have to admit, when I first heard the name I couldn't think past the bugs.  Why would anyone chose a name like that?  I thought clean homes weren't supposed to get flies!

It took me a good long while to look into it.  I'd taken the general concept, but threw 90% of it out the window.  Wouldn't it figure that it was the important 90%?  All I could figure was that the goal was to keep on top of everything at all times and get organized.  I didn't take in all of the stuff that makes the system actually work.

Not surprisingly, I completely failed.  I almost wrote the whole system off, but I just decided to walk away from it for a while.  The other circumstances in my life made truly feeling comfortable with taking control of the chaos in my house seem completely unreasonable.  I needed to wait until I found a sense of stability.

When I finally went back to looking at the system again, I gave it a fair shot this time.  I thought the idea of a "control journal" was kind of hoaky, to be honest, but I would do everything else.  I could always leave off the things I didn't like, right?  I mean, seriously, did I need to get dressed down to lace-up shoes?  I hardly ever wear shoes if I can avoid it, even when leaving the house!  Besides, my feet sweating in socks makes them itchy after a while.  I don't need to do that, right?

Looking at the whole system, it did make a lot of sense.  At first I did find it completely ridiculous to shine your sink.  It's just a sink!  Nobody cares!  However, I do understand what she's getting at here.  I tried it, straight down to bleach and everything as directed, even though I'm allergic to bleach.  The sink was clean, sterile, and as shiny as it was going to get!  It would never be great because that sink leaked and water constantly was running down it.  However, it was so nice to go out into the kitchen and see one small place of cleanliness.  It was a little patch of heaven to get up in the morning and not look at a sink full of dishes everyone was too lazy to do the night before.

I have to admit, I never got much beyond the kitchen when living with room mates.  Again, it's hard to feel in control of your space when you're not the one with the final say.  When it came to dishes, I could insist all I wanted that there would be no dirty dishes left in the sink, but sure enough, there always were.  It was a great recipe for giving up time and time again.

I used to joke with my partner that I was off to "FlyLady the kitchen".  He would always get a kick out of it, but secretly, I think it made him happy.  He knew that meant we would have a clean kitchen, which was always something he found important.  As much as he never wanted to have to work at having a clean home, the cleaner his living space, the happier he is.

Now that we're in our own place we're doing the FlyLady thing again.  I'm really trying to adhere to the major points of the system without getting too hung up on details I know aren't going to flawlessly fit my family.  I can always work on that later.  One step at a time, right?

Looking at some of this, I have to say, I really do understand a lot of where she's coming from, even if I thought it was silly before.  There's a purpose behind all of it, and I think that she's really doing a service for families everywhere by her advice, "FlyRules" and everything else.  There are some things I really have grown to love about her system.

• Shiny sinks do actually mean something.  I have to admit, shining the sink doesn't necessarily make sense to me at this point, but I can see the benefits of a clutter-free, clean, empty, and dry sink.  On top of that, it encourages prompt action on my part.  When I walk into the kitchen and see a dish in the sink thinking, "Oh no!  A dish!  Not in my newly shined sink!" instead of getting angry at the person who put it there, or worse, ignoring it entirely and moving on, I wash the dish, wipe down the sink, and make it clean and shiny again!  At the end of it all, the dish is in the dishwasher, the sink is clean, dry, and empty again, and I now have a reason to smile.
• Cleaning really is a great way to bless your home.  It's more than cleaning out the negative energy for all you Pagan folk out there.  Everyone feels better in a cleaner home.  Everyone feels better when they can find things.  Better still, everyone feels much happier in a home where their stuff doesn't own them!
• Conquering Mt Washmore one load at a time is completely something I can do.  Of course, right now it's not easy because we don't have a washer and dryer, but when I could simply throw in a load of laundry every day and call it good, I found that I never got buried under a pile of laundry bigger than I am!  It also makes folding, sorting, and putting away the laundry that much more likely to happen.  Folding and putting away one single load every day takes no time at all.  When you've got a whole bunch of loads, it's way too easy to get behind and buried under your clean laundry, only to have it never go away, get on the floor and dirty, and then need to be washed again.
• Calendars are key to organization.  If I want something to happen, I really need to write it down.  The control journal concept is the same thing, just another way to stay organized and on top of things.
• While I may not feel the need to be dressed down to the lace-up shoes, I do believe that when you look good, you feel good, and that carries over to everything you do.  That means getting up in the morning, getting dressed, doing my hair, and maybe even throwing on a bit of make-up one of these days will help keep me in good spirits.  When you look good, you feel good.  When you feel good, you get stuff done.
• I love her concept of FLYing, Finally Loving Yourself.  That's what it really is, isn't it?  The whole idea is to have a clean home because it makes you feel happy.  More importantly, people with messy, cluttered homes are usually expressing a very big idea about themselves, that they just don't care about themselves.  They don't care enough to keep their environment comfortable.  As a result, cleaning your home is an act of loving yourself (and your whole family)!
• Taking on all of this 15 minutes at a time is much less intimidating than taking it on all at once.
• "You're not behind.  You don't need to catch up.  Just jump in where you are."  The whole idea is great!  It's easy to feel overwhelmed and like you'll never get anything done.  That reminder is incredibly helpful every time I think about it.
• Getting rid of everything you don't love, haven't used in the past six months, and won't likely use again in the next six months is a brilliant strategy.  I've built myself into the mentality that I can't get rid of anything because I might need it for something and I just won't have it.  That's the trials of living in such a fluctuating situation as I have.  When you have no stability, it's easier to cling to stuff figuring that stuff will somehow give you stability.  The reality is if I can go a year without using it, I probably will never actually need it again.  Someone else could make better use out of it.  The same goes for things I don't love.  If they bring back sad or painful memories, why am I keeping them?
• She always adds helpful reminders for healthy habits, like menu planning and getting a home cooked meal on the table, something that many families never get.  That's a perfect example of a healthy practice that seems too much for most people.  She's also always on her reminders to drink water (I think she even put it into her routines!) which is good for people like me who let themselves get dehydrated.  Another good one is reminders for anti-procrastination day, cleaning out the refrigerator, and using things before they go bad.  Let's not forget the importance of good sleeping habits and taking time out for yourself!
• There's no such thing as perfect.  I just need to do my best every day and stop letting my perfectionism eat away at me.  Just because my house won't be perfectly clean, organized, and clutter-free in a day doesn't mean I'm doing a bad job.  It just means I've got a lot of work ahead of me!

The list goes on and on.  I know some people find her a little out there.  She's definitely more geared towards homemakers than towards career women (though she does include a lot geared towards them as well).  I have to say, her women oriented feel to everything is a little overwhelming, to a point, as though women are the ones who are supposed to be cooking, cleaning, and everything else, but the reality is that very few men are actually homemakers.  Very few men do all the cooking and the cleaning, and even fewer men are willing to jump on board with this idea at first.  I guess in my experience, women are more naturally inclined to have a clean home that's inviting to their family and any company they might have.  I guess that's also the reason for the stereotypical bachelor pad and the need for "a woman's touch".

One of these days I'll actually pick up a copy of Flylady's book, Sink Reflections.  I have to admit, I'm rather curious about it.  After reading everything on her site, I'm very interested to read it!  She also has Body Clutter: Love Your Body, Love Yourself, but I don't think that one would be near as useful for me.

I know there's a lot out there about FlyLady being some God driven crazy lady that needs to hold everyone's hand because there are people who need to be told every moment of the day, but in truth, it's not about that.  Yes, there are some people out there who hold on to the most ridiculous stuff (see the show Hoarders...) but the reality is most people aren't like that.  Also a true thing, most people who are looking for books on storage solutions, organization, and are considering buying a bigger home just to house their stuff probably could use a system like this.  It seems these are the people who claim the system to be the least useful of all.

Honestly, FlyLady has given me the tools needed to pull things together and start getting my house in order.  It's not about hand-holding.  I don't need someone to tell me what I need to throw away or give away.  However, it's nice to have reminders that this needs to get done, and if I'm dedicated enough, I can stay on top of this.  Without FlyLady, I'd probably find a way to make it work, but until then, I'd still be buried under all this stuff!