Household Craziness

It's been a long couple of weeks.  There's been a lot going on, which hasn't made finding time to write any easier.  It seems like I'm not doing enough that actually relates to this blog, and that almost makes me sad.

The whole situation with my baby, he's decided to wean after all.  We got a couple good attempts at nursing back, but my milk supply was just too low and it seemed like we couldn't recover from it.  He would get upset, frustrated, and angry, and eventually he stopped coming back to me all together.  I think he just gave up.  I have to admit, I'm really sad about that.  I'd promised myself that I would keep on with nursing until he was at least two, since that's when doctors site the maximum benefit ends.  I also wanted him to choose to self-wean instead of forcing him to quit.  Well, it seems like my body made it more ideal for him to quit.  He decided he just wasn't going to do it anymore, so he was done.  My older son kind of did the same when he weaned, and with my daughter we had to quit because she and I were both starting to loose too much weight.  I have to admit, it kind of makes me feel that I failed when my friends are all enjoying far more success than I had.  In many cases, they talk about how I'm lucky to have lost the baby weight so quickly.  In my case, I honestly think losing the baby weight was what lead to my inability to continue nursing.

In other news, the littlest one has also decided that staying up all night sounds like fun.  He sleeps perfectly peacefully if he's in a room alone, but if we're in there, he wants to be awake.  He rarely is able to get comfortable sleeping on the bed with us these days.  He tosses and turns all night.  When we put him down by himself, he cries for a moment, then he pulls up his blanket and snuggles in.  I feel horrible about that too.  I'm such a big person on attachment parenting that it kills me to know he won't sleep unless I let him cry for maybe a minute.  Otherwise he just fusses, rolls around, and just seems miserable and tired.  It seems like it takes on average an hour for him to fall asleep with me, but then the slightest movement will make him wake up.  It's frustrating that he's such a light sleeper, but it's becoming more often that he sleeps more heavily on his own.  Honestly, I wish we had the space to give him his own bedroom, since he likes to sleep in the dark and his brother wants to have light.  I'm also really afraid they'll wake each other up all night.  It may just be time to transition him into sharing a room with his brother.  What can I say?  It's a really sad time of year for me.  My baby is growing up way too fast!