Thursday, October 14, 2010

Getting Easier, but not Quite Easy

We're finally moved in.  We're starting to get everything settled.  We're not exactly unpacked yet, but we're working on it, painfully slowly.  These things always take time.  A lot of our stuff wasn't properly unpacked and organized at our last house for a variety of reasons, so it's been interesting trying to sort through and manage it all now.  It's about time we got to it.

It actually feels good to settle in to a place again and know we'll be staying here for a while at least.  It's nice to have a chance to sort through our belongings and get everything set in order.  Hey, maybe we'll even manage to downsize some of it!  It will feel good to think out some more of what we don't need and aren't really ever going to use.  Yes, in part it will mean less to lug for our next eventual move, but in a way, it's also a huge relief.  I really just don't need all this stuff cluttering up my life.

Things aren't back to smooth sailing entirely, but I'm feeling like I'm not having so much of a challenge getting my feet back on the ground this time.  Maybe it's because I've moved so many times already, but I'm kind of feeling I'm more comfortable just settling into the beginnings of my own routine.

There are some things that are going to be a challenge for a while longer.  The house isn't exactly safe for the baby to just get out and crawl around.  Our homeschooling schedule hasn't exactly kicked back in.  The kids are fighting more than ever, but this seems normal for changes in their lives.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  It's a big change to have to move again.

Most of all, I'm finding that I need to put more emphasis on taking care of myself, and I'm okay with that.  My diet has always been horrible when under stress.  I tend to wake up in the morning, toss on whatever clothes are nearby, even if they don't match or look horrible on me.  (I swear, I used to be a constant candidate for that show "What Not To Wear" on TLC!)  I never really cared about my hair unless I was at a dance show.  I'm not saying I'm going full blown beautiful with all kinds of matching accessories, the perfect jewelry and shoes, and full done hair and make-up.  I just throw on something that sort of matches, deal with my hair in a quick and easy way, even if that means tossing on a beret to hide it so I don't have to deal with it.  It means I need to work a little harder at my day, but it's that whole thing about when you look good (or at least decent), you feel good.  When you feel good, you're in a better position to face the world.

I'm not saying this move has suddenly given me a deeper capacity to care about myself or anything like that, but I'm starting to get back into my old routines, the routines that kept me going through a deployed husband, the routines that kept me going through the more chaotic periods of my life.  When I fall into habits that I know are good for me, I start to notice a total change in the way I view the world and the way I approach my life.  It's good for me.

While there's still a lot of work to do, and a lot of settling in, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  There's still a lot of stress.  There's still a lot going on.  Life isn't perfect, but at least this is one of the first steps towards something better.  I know I've said that before and it's come back to bite me in the end, but this situation is very different, and because of that, I'm much more confident in things working out for the best.  No, it's never going to be easy, but it's definitely easier than it was.

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