2011 Year Review

This has been an interesting year for us.  In many ways it's been better than the years in the past.  We managed to stay in one place for almost one full year.  That may not seem like much, but with all the moving we've done since leaving my ex, that's actually pretty good.  We're in a place that isn't perfect for us, but it will work.  We've learned to cook healthier, eat healthier, and shop more wisely, though we haven't been as good as we could be.  I've been building up a small list of recipes I know my family likes and home cooked meals made from scratch or from very few premade additives are becoming more common.  We're making progress.

On the homeschooling front, it may not seem like we did much this year in a lot of ways.  The year started off with a bang.  We did tons of arts and crafts, but as time went on we slowed down.  The summer was full of a lot of nothingness and idol time.  Thankfully, the fall picked up with the co-op.  We got to see just how smart the kids really were, and how good they are at what they can do.  Bunny Boo proved (finally) that she can read and is actually pretty good at it (when she's got the right motivation.  She's been reading Meet Marie-Grace from the American Girl collection.  She got the doll and book series from her grandmother for Christmas.  Link (as my older son has requested to be called on this blog) has shown that he's already learning some good reading skills and can already read a little bit here and there.  The littlest one is finally learning to talk and apparently has quite a bit to say.  They've all come a lot farther than I'd realized, and have grown so much too! Looking back at the past year, it's hard to think how much smaller they all were.

We didn't make a huge move towards sustainability this year, but we have been forced to make a few changes.  Given that we're without a car for the time being we've learned to do as much of our grocery shopping in bulk as possible.  As a result, we've cut back on grocery trips a good deal.  There's far fewer needs to run out for some last minute items forgotten.  Thanks to slippers for everyone under the tree this year and wonderful afghans sent by my aunt, we've also decided to keep the house cooler than usual this winter.  We're probably going to keep the house as warm as we can bear again this summer, since that worked out fairly well for us last summer.  We're looking for other ways to save on electricity too, but that's going to be hard with Chesh and his forgetfulness.  He has a bad habit of leaving the closet light on, as well as every single light in the kitchen.

Financially, we've made some progress on the debt-free thing without intending to.  Without having a car payment, we're going to be that much better off every month.  Living where we are now, rent is cheaper and water is included.  That means we're saving a good deal every month.  Unfortunately, Chesh is also out of work again, but I'll be employed as a nanny during the first half of the year.  That should buy him some time to find a new job and to keep pulling us that much farther out of debt.  The debt collectors from my past have finally tracked me down, so I've got all the contact with them I need in order to start working off my past debts.  This will put us in good standing when we finally decide to buy a home of our own.  I know the debts from my past can't technically hurt me any right now, unless I go for a line of credit somewhere, but it's better to have them all paid off and taken care of.  You never know when you might need your credit in good standing in the future, especially as many jobs do credit checks now.  I can't wait to have some of this consolidated and behind me.  Thankfully, moving to this place was our first step.

Overall it's been a wild ride of a year.  It's had it's ups and downs.  It's been interesting, that's for sure.  We've had to keep on our toes, but as a result, we've gotten a lot accomplished.  I can honestly say I hope the new year brings in better luck than this passing year, but I'm not too upset about the year we're leaving behind.  The challenges only helped us all grow.

Family Tradition of Christmas Presents...What Were We Thinking?

Over the past few years we'd kept the presents hidden away until Christmas Eve.  All of the presents would be put out at night, after the kids all went to bed.  Usually this was met with me cursing my own exhaustion as I wrapped all of the presents that had been unwrapped, which took me until well early in the morning.  We all know kids, waking up at the crack of dawn Christmas morning, so this usually meant for a very wiped out mama come time to open the presents.

For those of you who remember last year, our tree was pretty much over-run by presents.  Santa didn't bring terribly much, and Chesh and I didn't get much, but my Aunt and Uncle's incredible generosity combined with my Grama's gifts made the tree pale in comparison to the pile of gifts.  We decided then that we had to do things differently next year.

Now, I'll be honest, I never anticipate as much stuff as we end up getting.  This year we know Santa's planning to get more than he did last year.  We've talked to him about keeping the tradition of family activities.  Since he's not bringing them a big, expensive kitchen set this year, or anything just as fancy and expensive, we've talked him into bringing a couple small gifts from the whole family.  He's whispered rumors of bringing an additional gift for everyone in the family, even us adults, so we're going to have to plan for five extra gifts under the tree this year.  I hope they're not too big!  Space is at a premium under that tree!  Okay, so maybe not so much yet, but with our current set-up, big presents mean we're going to have to move some furniture to make room for it all, something we may just have to do anyway!

At the moment each of the kids have their presents from my mom under the tree.  My daughters gifts from Chesh and I are there.  My littlest has his gifts from Chesh and I.  My older son only has his gift from Chesh, but I got sick over the weekend, so I haven't gotten around to wrapping the last one.  We've got a stack of little gifts on the table under our small tree because that's where my littlest wanted his birthday presents to go.  For now, it's a suitable arrangement.

The older two are supposed to be getting presents from their dad, but I never know with him.  He makes a lot of promises, but he doesn't follow through on most of them.  Generally until I get confirmation on things I don't know for sure if they're done or not.  In other words, since he won't get me tracking numbers or anything, I won't know until they get here.  Thankfully, this year I'm being smart and not saying a word to the kids until we've got presents in hand.  I had seriously considered buying "back up gifts" to give to them "from their father", but it's not in the budget and I really don't think it's right for me to lie to my kids like that.  Either their father will make sure it happens...or he won't...  It's got me stressed out both in the "under the tree real estate" department (since I know the gifts he was wanting to send aren't exactly small) and because it's hard to be dancing around, knowing that you might be getting something, but not knowing whether to worry if nothing shows.

Thankfully, on the more reliable side, I know my aunts presents are due here this week.  I'm excited to see how we're going to fit all that under the tree.  One thing I've learned about my aunt is whether the quantity of gifts is great or small, there's always interesting shapes to work with.  She's not one of those people who believes a present in an unconventional shape should go in a box.  She wraps it just the way it is, which only makes the holiday so much better as the kids stare down their presents, wondering what each package could be.  The more creative shapes always end up with more creative answers.  Of course, these can also be harder to stack under the tree.  I'm kind of excited to see what we'll be working with this time around.

Of course, having all the presents under the tree ahead of time does make things more challenging.  It's great because the kids have that much longer to wonder what each present is before Christmas finally comes.  However, that comes with the cost of keeping the kids out of the presents!  My older son has already said ten times he wants to open his presents right now!  My daughter is happy to wait and look at them for hours, but she has to ask me a million questions about each present.  My littlest is content to rearrange the presents, which isn't so bad, I guess.  I love having the presents out where everyone can see, but I'm not sure if this is going to be the brightest of ideas for next year.  I may just have to go back to putting all the wrapped presents up in my closet until Christmas eve and then spend all that time putting them all out, which hopefully won't be so long given I'm trying to get in the habit of wrapping in advance!

Rebuilding Bridges with my Mother

It's been years since my mom and I talked with any kind of regularity.  She and I have grown apart over the years.  For a while I thought having a child might bring us closer together, and I guess it kind of did, but then I moved halfway across the country and it seemed like the distance between us was just as physical as it was anything else.  It was like a shocking reality of just how far apart we'd grown.

I think it was a couple of years ago that I really got upset about this and wrote in an old live journal about how I'd blamed my mom for the distance, but I think it was both of us, really.  I used to say that she just gave up because I was no longer nearby, convenient, and making all the effort.  Maybe that really was part of it.  I'm sure it probably was, but at the same time, I was going through a lot and wanted to blame everyone for my problems but me.  I didn't want to admit that I could have made a bigger effort with my family too.

For the past nearly five years I've been in Texas.  This is our fourth Christmas living in Texas and our third one actually staying in state.  I didn't think this year would be any different.  My aunt would send us a ton of cool stuff for the kids.  My grandmother would send some stuff too.  Maybe the older two would get something from their dad, but I'd never know for sure until it arrived on my doorstep.  I'd do what I could for the kids, but I never planned to get anything crazy, wild, or fancy.  That would pretty much be it.  Sander's birthday would be filled with loving gifts from my aunt and my grandmother, as well as some gifts from Chesh and I, but we wouldn't be able to do much.  That's pretty much how it goes every year.  Our gingerbread party usually only has a couple people ending in a pretty small gathering which has been really nice.  It's a small, quiet holiday.

This year I was a little surprised to see an e-mail in my inbox from my mother asking me what the kids wanted for Christmas.  She said she'd really like to get something specific for Bunny Boo, but she wanted to make sure the boys weren't left out.  She wanted to know what kinds of things they liked so she could shop for them.  She had some ideas of her own, of course, and let me tell you, after seeing all the boxes come in from my mom, I was completely shocked!  There was a lot of stuff there.

Now, let me tell you a thing or two about my mom.  Boy can that woman shop!  It's not so much that she likes to buy stuff, but the things she likes to buy.  My mom always picks out the best toys, and I think it's because she put so much time and consideration into the things she bought for my sister and I when we were younger.  She just seems to have a knack for picking out wonderful toys.  I've noticed cost doesn't seem to be much of a concern for my mother.  It's not so much that the sky's the limit for spending.  It's more that she'd rather focus on quality over cost.

For years I wondered how she managed.  We were never a family that had much money, so it was always a shock to see the piles of presents under the tree.  I suppose she had it easier, in a way, only having two children instead of three like my family has, or five like some of the families I know.  Even so, I always thought it was a Christmas miracle.  I couldn't imagine she would be able to hide all of that stuff without my sister and I noticing, not in the small apartment we lived in.  The whole idea just seemed impossible.

As I contacted my mom to let her know of each delivery and arrival, my mom and I would talk with every message.  She told me how she'd find the toys when they were on sale and hide them away no matter what time of year it was.  Then when it got close to Christmas time she only had the fun stuff to worry about.  She saved a lot of money and broke up the cost throughout the year, so the burden of Christmas shopping was much less of a problem.  Sure, she spent a lot of money on Christmas, but breaking it up throughout the year was what made it possible, and finding good sales only helped.

We've talked about a lot more than just Christmas shopping.  My mom said she hoped that we'd make cookies this year, since she loved doing it so much when we were kids.  I remember making cookies with my mom every year.  I haven't told her this yet, but we have a pancake breakfast every year to try and keep the family tradition.  It's not quite the same as what my mom used to do.  She'd go all out with eggs, bacon, sausage, and waffles.  We don't do the bacon because of the pork and turkey bacon just isn't the same.  Sausage sometimes ends up on the menu because there are so many varieties other than pork.  Eggs are a must on Christmas morning, even if I can't eat them anymore.  We top it all off with pancakes as a poor substitute for waffles.  The absence of a waffle iron makes a waffle breakfast difficult.  Some day we'll have a waffle iron and be able to keep to the tradition.  For several years we'd make fudge every year, just like my mom always did, but it's hard to get motivated without the right ingredients.  I'd meant to order some Marshmallow Fluff, but it was forgotten on the list of Christmas shopping and it's so much more expensive to order online.  The alternatives down here just aren't the same.  It's just one more thing that makes me think of my mom.

As we got to talking, she and I touched upon the idea of image.  It's hard when your friends all have their own houses and have husbands with decent jobs.  It seems like in the homeschool community there's a lot of people with money.  I'm almost embarrassed to admit we're a poor family.  It's not easy to tell people we're on WIC and food stamps when they own their own house and have two nice cars.  It's not easy to explain that we just can't afford to fly home for Christmas when they talk about taking all these trips and about their adventures in foreign countries.  I'm intimidated to have these families over to the little trailer we call home.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with our place, but it's not easy to have people look down on you, and it's hard to accept that not everyone will.

Talking with my mom reminded me of something.  She said that one of the kids we knew said we could have a nicer place if she bought us less toys.  Well, I suppose if she spent less money on my sister and I we could have had a nicer place, that's true.  How much nicer of a place is questionable, but nicer.  We would have had a less cluttered house too.  However, looking back at my childhood I don't see an apartment that must have been pretty run down by all the splinters I remember.  I see moments.  I think of my sister and I coming in from playing in the snow while my dad shoveled the stairs and the driveway, stuffing our boots and gloves on and under the radiator, and being met with fresh popcorn and hot chocolate.  I remember my dad making snow animals at the end of the stairs, and saying the neighbor complained because it made the snow harder to shovel.  I remember making cookies with my mom and from what I remember, it seemed like we did it a lot.  I remember dressing up in my school uniform and having french toast for breakfast because my mom always made us breakfast before school.  I remember learning how to use the old rotary phone.  I remember all our girl scout projects and trips.  I remember swimming with my dad at the local reservoir, and my mom taking us there almost every day in the summer and sitting there for hours, working on embroidery, while my sister and I played.  I always loved watching her with her cross stitch.  Every time we'd come back to take a peek there was something new to discover.  We'd run around like crazy kids in he forsythia bushes in our tiny front yard, pretending they were wild rabbit dens and all sorts of crazy thing.  I also remember helping my mom with our tiny garden that always seemed to grow so perfect, no matter what was going on.

I guess what I'm saying is it shouldn't matter how much money a family has, but how happy they are.  Looking back at my life, sure, I would have loved my own room or a big back yard, but not if it replaced the moments in my life.  Because of the way we were raised, my sister and I were very creative and inventive.  We were always making up our own crazy adventures.  We even decided that our American Girl dolls had a time machine and could travel to visit each other because it didn't make sense that kids from two time periods would play together.  They would have to dress up in each other's clothes and come up with some crazy story about why they were visiting.  Their families knew, of course!  How could you not know you owned a time machine?  But the contemporaries at the time couldn't know about it.  We were raised to be respectful too, and to honor the people around us.  I know at times we've shown the standard lack of respect of kids our generation, but I remember always trying to be as polite and courteous as possible.

The sacrifices my family made in lifestyle were certainly made up for on other fronts.  My sister and I learned to truly enjoy life.  I can imagine it would have been much different if my mother put all her efforts into making sure we had the nicest apartment we could afford.  I'd like to think my kids are going to go through much the same sort of thing.

There are also so many people I doubt I would have looked at twice had I been used to "higher standards". Because of the way I was raised, I realized that I wasn't like my friends with more money in many ways, but at the same rate, I was no different.  I didn't think in terms of class or money.  If I did, I surely would have passed up Chesh, who says his family is trailer trash, but that's what he came from.  He doesn't focus on having all the luxuries we may want, but he lives to see the kids brighten up and smile.  Much like my mom, he seems to take delight in seeing the kids light up when they get the perfect gift, or when they find out he's been planning a surprise for them.  He believes they should live for the moments, which is why we've gone on field trips and to events that we probably shouldn't have spent the money on.  He'd rather be poor as a pauper and in debt up to his eyeballs than deny the kids a wonderful experience they're going to remember straight into adulthood.  That really sounds like my mom, but if I'd been raised like a lot of the people I once knew, I can't help but think I'd look down on him because he grew up in a trailer park, no matter how nice he cleans up.  His bad habit of being poor because he'd rather provide a good time his family will remember now than save money for later would be highly frowned upon.  In many ways, he's just different.  I think in many ways my mom is too.

It's taken years to open up the lines of communication between us and I really hope it doesn't stop once Christmas has passed.  I know it's all too easy to get lax in communication when the holidays pass or there isn't some event to encourage talking.  I don't want to see things go that way again.

This year has been strange.  There's been a lot of good coming out of unexpected places.  There's a lot of battered and broken bridges that are finally being repaired.  It just seems like my life is being rebuilt.  It gives me a lot of hope for the new year.  It gives me hope that even with all the hard times my kids have seen, we'll make it through okay.  Some day they'll grow up and realize I did the best I could, and in reality, it really wasn't all that bad.

They Joys of a Local Meat Market

Just the other day a friend of mine finally dragged me to the local meat market.  She insisted that the meat packets you could buy there were far less expensive than buying the meat at the local grocery store.  The cuts of meat would be better and local meat markets are known for having meat from local suppliers.  That appealed to my desire to buy local in the first place.

For various reasons, getting down to the meat market just didn't work out.  We kept meaning to go, but all the good intentions in the world got us nowhere.  It's nice to mean to do something, but until you actually do it, it's just out there in space.  Strange how living closer actually meant doing less of what we said we were going to do.  I guess things were just meant to work out that way.

Finally arriving at the meat market I was overwhelmed by their selection.  I'd never bought my meat at a meat market before so the idea was kind of shocking to me.  There were lists and lists of meat packages offered and a whole window full of meat available to order.  There were so many possible selections it was dizzying!

Looking over the lists I saw one problem right away.  Every single option on the list included a good share of pork.  I can understand this as pork is cheap.  Putting a lot of cheap meat in the package deals means allowing for a larger quantity at a lower cost.  Let's face it, beef is expensive, and the only chicken they really seem to do there is quarters and whole, so that doesn't leave a lot of options.  Many Americans I know have a very pork-heavy diet.  Ham, sausage, and hot dogs make up a large component of many families' diets that I know of.  Bacon and pork chops are also pretty popular.

Now, I know there are a lot of reasons not to eat pork out there.  For me it all just started because I didn't like it all that much.  As I got older and started studying medieval history more I decided I didn't want to eat an animal that had been used by so many cultures as a garbage disposal.  When my littlest was born he made all sorts of little grunting pig sounds instead of crying, so I kept calling him my little piggy.  This, of course, made it that much harder to eat pork.  We've done a lot of work with the Native American concept of totem animals in this house.  We discovered my daughter has rabbit on her totem, so no rabbit stew for us!  I wasn't surprised because she used to kick like a rabbit before she was born and when she was very small.  She had some serious leg strength!  My younger son has some kind of cat, though I forget which.  I believe it was a lynx, but I might be wrong.  I never put much thought into it because we don't exactly eat cat in this house.  My littlest was determined to be boar, so that's a close relative to pig.  In Native American tradition it is considered in poor taste to eat your totem animal, so we've planned our diet accordingly.  Chesh breaks the rules on pork a good deal because he loves it, and we're not terribly strict, but we try to keep the pork down so the little one won't eat it, at least not until he's old enough to make that decision on his own.  For all we know he may grow up to decide he doesn't really care about the whole totem idea, or maybe he thinks it's not disrespectful to eat his totem animal.  No matter how you look at it, we have a long list of reasons for keeping the pork in this house pretty minimal.  Of course the older kids do like to have ham sandwiches now and again!

So, going to the meat market meant some careful figuring out so we wouldn't end up with pork that wouldn't be eaten.  We're considering our options for the future, both in splitting our arrangement with another family so we can trade for things we'll actually use or buying our meat by the item versus by the pack.

Going to the meat market actually saved us a good deal of money, in some ways.  The truth is we spent the same amount as we normally would on meat every month.  The difference is we got a whole lot more meat, and we got a better selection for each of the meats we've gotten.  It's nice to know we've got a local place to pick up good quality beef, save ourselves some money, and buy locally.  There's nothing like stretching our food budget even farther!

I think the best part of shopping at a meat market is having the ability to get what I want and not rely on what I've got the availability to get.  I don't have to worry about a store's selection.  I can go in and tell them exactly what I want.  If I feel like cooking a roast, I know I'll have several options instead of the three or four cuts of meat of one or two varieties.  Often times that ends with more meat than we can use, or not enough to feed the family.  True, chicken doesn't come with many choices, but we don't tend to eat a lot of chicken.  We tend to be more of a turkey family when it comes to poultry.  It's nice to go in with my shopping list and tell them what kinds of meat I need for my weekly or monthly shopping instead of having to look and hope they have something that works with what I want to make, or to plan my bigger roasts and things on the fly based on what they have available.

I have a feeling this local meat market is really going to do well for us.  I'm glad we've got one available.  Now I just need to start planning to take advantage of that!

Energy Saver: Plastic Window Insulation

Our current home is drafty.  From what I've heard, most trailers are.  We don't have a central heater or anything, so we're kind of reliant on electric heaters.  From what we've seen, everyone pretty much is.  I suppose in some ways we're doing better for the environment because our energy provider uses 100% green energy, but we'd still like to conserve a bit more.  There's no point in taking up resources we don't need, even if it is green energy.

To combat the draft, I remembered my aunt using some plastic window insulation stuff on her windows.  I don't know if she still bothers with it now since she owns her own home and may have some pretty decent windows, but I'd still remembered it.  When our houses here in Texas have been so incredibly drafty I'd often thought about looking it up, but I never did.  It never got cold enough to make a difference in the house, so I figured a bit of a cool draft wouldn't hurt anyone.

Things changed when we moved into this little trailer.  We originally ordered two heaters for our house. Our Lasko heater was just fine. It really cooks even the largest room in our house. The Lasko Stanley wasn't as helpful. It arrived with a broken fan so we had to replace it (which wonderfully came pretty quick!)  Thankfully that one cooks too, so we've got the advantage of keeping warm.  Unfortunately, the drafts can make things challenging.  The heaters have been constantly running since we got them to keep the place a tolerable temperature.  In hopes of saving electricity, we decided to look into that plastic stuff.

We decided on the Duck Brand Window Insulation Kit.  It was inexpensive and functional.  I was a little worried about using such a thin plastic with kids in the house, but I thought it would be worth a shot.  We ordered enough kits to deal with all our windows and hoped for the best.

When the kits arrived we went to work.  We started in the kid's room.  The double sided tape was a great idea, but we worried since there was supposed to be an inch left on each edge around the perimeter of the window.  However, the stuff was great.  Just insulating one window made a huge difference.  Given there are four windows in the kids' room, we could only imagine how great it would be when we got them all done!  We decided to put tape down on the outside edge of the windows as well.  The plastic was getting pulled up by the kids as we expected, so it wasn't going to be much help.  We also found that the littlest one likes to puncture it with pens, pencils, his fingers.  One of them pretty quickly got a pretty decent sized rip.  It's obviously not an ideal solution with kids and something sturdier would probably have been a better option, but they were inexpensive, so it's not like we wasted a lot of money.  That and repairing the one spot that needs repair isn't going to be that big of a deal.  There was some extra plastic from the edge so we're figuring we'll fashion a patch and that will be good enough.  They look pretty clear, so it's almost as though there's nothing over the window at all, or would look that way if we weren't going to need to patch the one.  I think this would be great for anyone who wants a subtle window insulation that's pretty clear.  Once you hit it with the hair dryer to "shrink wrap" it, it looks pretty sharp!

Next year we might start looking into more expensive solutions, like thermal curtains.  We'll have to save up for them since they are so expensive, but they keep in cool air in the summer and warm air in the winter, so they're a year-round benefit.  They should save us enough money to be worth it, and there's nothing like curtains to make a place feel more like home!  Combine that with these simple window kits and we should be able to minimize the use of our little electric heaters!  Now all we need is a place we can throw some solar panels up on the roof and we'll have incredible efficiency!  Of course, that's not really an option until we own our own place.

Simple things, like sweaters, warm blankets, slippers, and insulation can make a huge difference in energy usage through the winter months.  Common problems such as drafts aren't such a big deal when you've got an option to dress a little warmer.  Slippers keep feet from feeling the effects of drafts and from cold tile and wood floors.  Blankets can be pulled over a lap while sitting in front of the television or working with a project.  Sweaters can always be thrown on if there's a chill in the house.  As much as I prefer the ability to have my house so warm I can sit around in a short sleeved shirt and barefoot all winter, it's not practical unless you have the luxury of sitting by a fire all winter long or don't mind spending a fortune to heat your home.  It's better to dress like it's winter outside!

It may not seem like much to keep temperatures low in the winter, better insulate the house, and dress a little warmer, but these little things can make a huge impact on your energy bill.  Just remember, the more you have to work to heat your house, the more energy you expend.  This is both costly for your wallet, and the environment (unless you use 100% green energy like we're privileged to do...)

What I Would Want for Christmas...

I've been doing a lot of Christmas shopping for the kids, as I'm sure just about everyone has been this time of year.  While I won't divulge the secret of what I'm getting for my kids, I've found a lot of things after the fact that I wish I could have gotten for the kids!  This year it would be so easy to go over budget.

Looking through all this stuff, I've kind of been on an educational kick.  My kids are homeschooled, so pretty much all of their education comes from opportunities I give them.  As a result, Christmas isn't just a time for toys, it's a time for potential learning as well.  This year I don't feel like I was really prepared for that commitment.  I don't think I even began to knew what I was getting myself into.  Sure, you see science kits out at the craft store and in big box stores.  If you search Amazon there's tons of science, math, and reading activities.  Unfortunately, if you don't know what you're looking for, you'll probably miss some of the cool things that are out there and available!  I've decided to go through some of this stuff and pick out some of the things I would have wanted if I were a kid, maybe things I can share with my own kids in the future.

The first that made me jump up and down and squeal like a little girl in a movie over getting exactly what she wanted for Christmas, was something that looked like the Scorbot I used when I was in high school.  This was a robotic arm robot that would be controlled and programmed.  The OWI Robotic Arm is a project that you construct, then use a controller to maneuver the machine. There's an optional USB interface to allow the operator to program a list of commands on the computer for the robot to execute, similar to what I'm used to using.  Even though I'm an adult, I think I'd still have fun with it!

The next item I found reminded me of another project I did in high school.  It's a Forensic Science Detective's Toolkit.  It teaches how to do everything from finding and handling evidence to writing out the crime scene report with sketches and everything!  They test for counterfeit currency, search for fingerprints and footprints, analyze hair and soil samples, from what I've seen, it's got everything real detectives would want at a crime scene for a theft or breaking and entering.  When I was in high school we had to determine who committed a certain crime in our biotech class by analyzing hair samples found on the crime scene and some other information, so this seems to fit right in with what we did then.  We even went on a field trip to a forensic lab where I decided I wanted to work in ballistics.  Of course, I never did get there, but it definitely would be a fun kit for a mystery lover!

Then there's a whole bunch of obvious math and science books that I would love to have had when I was younger.  For example, there's a whole series of Analogy Crossword Puzzles that I think are just great. There's a series of books based on math and puzzles and things. The series has Addition Adventures, Subtraction Secrets, Multiplication Mosaics, More Multiplication Mosaics, Division Designs, Decimal Destinations, Fraction Finders, and Algebra Antics. I love stuff like Code Breakers too! Then there's the Perplexors puzzles that look pretty cool. I know it really makes me a geek that I'm all about stuff like this, but I love it!  What can I say?  I love math and word games!

Those are just my top picks.  I'm sure I could go on for months and months with all the cool stuff I keep finding, thanks to doing my Christmas shopping online and getting all kinds of fantastic catalogs, I'm starting to realize how many untapped sources of really cool stuff there are out there!  If you know what you're looking for, it's amazing what you can find!

So I guess what I'm saying is if you've got to be a consumer this holiday season, maybe there are some cool things you can pick up that will stimulate the mind, not just fill your house with stuff.  True, we're homeschoolers so it's kind of our job to fill the house with really awesome math, science, reading, writing, and literature things, but that's no reason every family can't have some really cool stuff too!  There's some really cool stuff out there that can truly expand the mind and educate!  Believe it or not, most kids actually love that stuff!

Favorite Christmas Specials

Christmas specials are a part of the holiday season for most people.  Those with cable or satellite often catch them on regular broadcast.  Some have extensive collections of holiday specials.  In our home, we don't have any of that.  My ex really wasn't a fan of Christmas in any way, shape, or form and didn't even want me decorating.  As time went on, things changed.  I've become more and more in tune with Christmas with each passing year.  That means picking out my favorite Christmas specials, even if I can't get my hands on all of them right away.

When I was growing up there were a lot of diverse specials.  Some were religious, others weren't.  Some were live action.  There were animated ones and ones with puppets.  Many of them you won't see today.  There are a million Christmas specials out there for every channel imaginable, and a huge number of "made for TV" movies.  A lot of the older classics with their poorer production quality have become forgotten or replaced with something a little more modernized.

For me, the most memorable Christmas special of all time was a recording off the television that my mom had made years ago.  For the longest time no one I knew had ever seemed to have seen it.  I remember watching it several times a year because we thought it was so funny.  The move I'm talking about is A Muppet Family Christmas.  There's nothing like combining the many directions of Jim Henson's work.  The Muppets show up, of course, and they Fozzy's mom's house, which Doc and Sprocket from Fraggle Rock are renting out for the holidays.  Then the monsters and animals of Sesame Street drop by as carolers.  Even the Fraggles make an appearance.  It's been my all-time favorite story for years.

Of course, I'll never forget the year my uncle and aunts took my sister and me to see The Muppet Christmas Carol.  I didn't expect it to be much.  I'd seen a whole bunch of other versions and as much as I was excited to see this one, I already knew the story.  How much new and different could you do with it?  However, this quickly became my favorite version for it's sense of humor and creativity.  On top of that, it has Bean from The Tale of the Bunny Picnic , which was also a childhood favorite of mine.  This has become a family classic, something we can't wait to watch every year.

There's also another unknown Muppet classic that I adore every Christmas, but haven't seen in years.  It's not your typical Muppet movie, with all your favorite cast and crew.  It only features Kermit for a few minutes in the beginning, and again at the end, but my sister and I used to watch this movie as many times as we could each year, until we drove my mother nuts, I'm sure!  Our absolute all time favorite as kids was Jim Henson's The Christmas Toy.  There's nothing to inspire a child like a story where their toys come to life and they learn about love, friendship, and the holiday spirit.


Another movie I loved and was starting to think I made up entirely can be found in the two disk double feature (conveniently two more of my favorite movies),The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus and Nestor the Christmas Donkey.  The first is a story about the counsel of immortals deciding whether or not to grant Claus, who grew up in the valley of the immortals and was later sent to face life in the mortal world, immortality for his good deeds.  It's a little sad as Claus will die that night if they don't grant him immortality.  The counsel of immortals was always a little scary to me when I was a child because they're a strange looking lot, especially the creepy wind guy.  The Great Ak, the head of the counsel and the one who brings Claus out into the world is a great old wizard like guy with two giant antlers on his head.  Looking back now the Pagan imagery is just fantastic!  On top of that, the story of how Claus got his start is pretty fantastic too.  He made the first ever toy for an orphan that liked his little cat so much.  The trend caught on, so he began to make and deliver toys to everyone.  Originally it was a lioness (probably a mountain lion?) the one that raised him, that pulled the cart for him to deliver his toys, and he actually had an adversary, trolls, that didn't want him delivering the toys because they believed in living off the villager's fear.  I didn't realize it until I was older, but the Norse mythological imagery included in this film is absolutely fantastic!  It's a refreshing break from the typical view of Santa Claus.

Pairing that with a very Christian film may seem like an odd combination to me, but Nestor was always one of my favorites come Christmas time.  He was a cute little donkey with long ears that tripped him up all the time.  His mother died to save his life, and a little cherub came down from the heavens to guide him where he needed to go.  As it turns out, Nestor, with his long and clumsy ears, was the perfect donkey to carry Mary to Bethlehem.  He wrapped her up in his long ears to protect her from the wind and desert sands.  He's always been one of my favorite Christmas characters, in part because a creature that's so flawed actually finds that his biggest flaw turns out to be the perfect trait that would allow him to do something so incredibly important.  He was chosen above all the other normal donkeys because he was different and special.  On top of that, it's incredibly sweet that it all starts out with a little nativity set up inside Santa's stable.  It was a wonderful link between the standard holiday classics and this wonderful story.

Of course, there are tons of holiday specials out there.  I'm sure there's so many at this point that you could watch ten of them every day from the first day of December until Christmas and still never repeat a viewing! Even so, some classics will always hold a place in my heart.  Over they years I'm going to start collecting all my favorites.  I can't wait to share them with my kids.  It'll be so nice when we can have our own Christmas Movie Night with friends and family like my aunt does back home.  It's just one more way we can bring a little piece of my family holidays and traditions down here to Texas.

Theme for the Year, Useful Gifts

It's that Christmas time of year again.  Everyone is out shopping.  In our family we don't really do much of a gift exchange with the adults.  I usually exchange gifts with my partner, but that's about it.  However, kids are a very different story.

This year we've decided to go for a break from traditional.  I was originally going to hand-make all of my gifts this year, but that ambitious goal turned out to be too ambitious for me.  I figured that would cut down on consumerism, but the truth is I'll still end up buying things to make the present.  It's not like I have a sheep to sheer, then wash the fleece, card it, spin it, knit with the yarn, and some time in the process, dye it with home-made dyes that I grow at my own home.  The consumer process does happen in there, and while home-made gifts are typically the best, I honestly think there should be a some value placed on time.  Right now, it's something I just don't have enough of.

That being said, I wanted our Christmas present theme to be useful items.  Now, I know I'm going to be expecting some toys for family.  No matter what you say, nor how much you beg people not to, there are always going to be people who insist on giving toys to kids.  I've decided I'm not going to fight it.  More importantly, it's good for kids to receive toys for holidays and birthdays.  How else will they end up with new toys as they outgrow the old?

Every year my aunt has always been fantastic with flooding our house with useful things.  She sends us crayons, markers, and pencils.  There's been drawing paper, workbooks, and coloring books.  There's been crafts to decorate with and lots of other stuff to inspire creativity.  She sends books, which are always good to have.  There's so much variety, but I noticed that most of it has been useful, at least for the older two, even with a good number of toys sprinkled throughout.

Because of my aunt's inspiration and looking at my children's insane number of toys, I decided this year it's time for something different.  Last year Santa was a huge hit for bringing games to the whole family.  This year he's planning the same.  They encourage family time, togetherness, and fun.  However, this year our family is focusing on things that can inspire outside interests, and we're going to carry that through birthdays and everything.  It means knowing a lot more about my kids than what a kid of their gender and age would like.  However, it's totally worth it.  This is what makes gifts that wow.

Taking my daughter as an example, we can see what appeals to her quite easily.  Archery would be a good direction to choose.  She loves it.  She's been begging me for her own bow and arrows ever since she shot her first arrow.  She's all about art, always wanting to draw, paint, color, or otherwise create masterpieces.  I want to pick something that will appeal to those interests of hers.

My older son is really into art and music.  He likes to sing and make music on anything he can make noise on.  He loves to draw and paint too.  I want to encourage him in those fields because he needs to have interest in something other than toys.  He's got to start developing his own tastes.  He also loves science, but finding science stuff for his age isn't something I'm particularly good at.

The littlest one is really only into making messes right now, so it's hard to pick things he'd like.  He's good with coloring and seems to like the idea of painting.  Anything he can squish in his fingers is also good, so soft clays may not be a bad choice either.

I'm starting to realize that my kids have very limited interests.  They haven't experienced life as much as I might wish.  They don't really have much of an idea of what they might like to be when they grow up because they haven't experienced enough to know.  My daughter wants to be an artist and my older son wants to be a rock star, but how do they know for sure?  They haven't really had a chance to dabble in other areas of life.  Maybe my older son will always want to be a rock star, or a musician of some kind.  Maybe my daughter will always want to be an artist, but at least I hope I can open up some other options for them so they know for sure.  More importantly, if they do decide to keep those career choices, at the least maybe they'll know what direction within those careers.  Maybe my daughter will decide she wants to be a painter, an illustrator, or a potter.  Perhaps my son will want to grow up to be a classical guitarist or a musician with the orchestra.  We won't know until they get there.  All I can do is take this time to give them as many opportunities to explore as possible, and Christmas is just as good of a chance as anything else.

I feel pretty good about this Christmas.  I feel like I'm finally doing something better than just getting toys and leaving it at that.  I'm hoping that they find it as wonderful of a Christmas as I'm planning it to be.  After all, if I can't get away from consumerism, I might as well use the holiday season as a time to help my kids advance their own goals or find new areas of exploration in life.  There are plenty of people to make sure they have toys.  I know them better than anyone else, so it really should be my job to pick out the things that will inspire them this year.

Taking the Back Seat

It's that time of year again, Christmas.  It's the season of consumerism and the competition to get the best gifts every year.  I'm not that kind of person.  My children are what's important this holiday season.  There's something about seeing their smiles on Christmas day that makes it worth it to make sacrifices, even when I feel like maybe I should just step up and be the one to take credit for what I do.

For the past three years I've tried to make sure my older two get something incredibly awesome from their dad.  Often times it's meant a good deal of hurting on my part.  These were things I'd intended on getting for my own kids.  I wanted to be the ones to light up their faces the way they do.  Sometimes it kind of hurts to know that, while it was my brilliant idea, I can't take any of the credit.  I have to stand in the background and let someone else stand in the spotlight, someone who wouldn't have even come up with such a brilliant idea if I'd never brought it up.

Of course, isn't that kind of what Christmas is about?  It's about seeing the joy on the faces of the people you love.  In this case, it's knowing my kids are happy, not about my own personal pride at being the one to make them happy.  I know in my heart it's my doing that made them happy and that should matter far more than my kids knowing I was the one behind all of it.  Isn't that kind of the idea of Santa too?  It's not so important that someone knows you were the one to do something for them.  That's all a matter of pride.  It's the joy that's important, so not taking credit for something my kids get from "Santa" is worth it.

In a way, I'm also trying to do something good for the kids' father as well.  True, he's getting the credit for my brilliant idea and all he has to do is physically get the stuff with his own money, but it means something to the kids.  With how frustrated they've been at the absence of their father in their life, it makes them feel good and cared about to have their dad get them something so incredibly special.  It helps their feeling of connection with their father, even if it's not the same as if he'd made the effort himself.

I know I could be like so many other moms out there.  I could tell their father if he really cared about what the kids were into or what they wanted, he should talk to them about it.  I could just give him a vague overview.  I could just tell him something simple and vague, or to buy them things they need, like clothes.  I know a lot of moms that expect their ex to figure it out on their own or take the time with the kids to figure it out, but I don't really want to do that.  I know exactly what the gift of the year would be for my kids, and I know a part of what makes those gifts so special is who they got it from.  I don't want them to be disappointed by their father.  They've got enough disappointment in their lives.

Even so, it's really hard.  I feel like I'm shielding my kids from the harsh reality of what's going on in their relationship with their father.  I'm sure at some point they'll both realize that their dad relies on me to tell him what they're into and what to get.  I don't know if they'll appreciate it more or think less of me for letting him take all the credit.  I guess the truth of the matter is I want them to feel like they matter, even if that means letting their dad give them the things I know in my heart will truly make them happy.

Things I'm Thankful For, Week Four

Okay, it's a little delayed.  I forgot to do it on Sunday, so I figured I'd just wait dramatically for the last day of the month.  Actually, I'm not sure if dramatic is so much the word for it, but this date just kind of works, so here we go!

1. I'm thankful for electric heaters.  You never realize how important heat is in your home until you don't have any.  Thanks to a friend (and soon Amazon) we're going to have plenty of warmth in our house this winter, even with all the troubles this place has to make it prone to being cold.
2. I'm thankful for Amazon.  Thanks to Amazon, I was able to get the heaters we ordered at a deep discount.  Our Christmas tree was nearly half off.  I'm also able to do all of my Christmas shopping for the kids in one stop, and it's all a lot more affordable than if I'd had to go out to each individual store.
3. I'm thankful for the post office.  So many people take things like mail for granted.  More often than not, it just delivers bills and junk mail, things no one wants to see.  For my family, we're able to send and receive things from friends and family we're no longer close enough to visit with.  It's definitely made staying in touch with friends and family that much better.
4. I'm thankful for honest children, no matter who's children they are.  Thanks to the honesty of one of the neighborhood children, our broken window is now becoming the problem of the parents of the children that broke it and we're off the hook for being responsible.
5. I'm thankful for all the people (real and fictional) that inspire my family and I.  My daughter has been inspired to take up archery.  My son is inspired to play baseball and play music.  I'm inspired to start dancing again, and maybe take up music again.  I'm also inspired to make another costume.  It's given all of us something to look forward to, and it's so much better to look forward to something than to just fill our days with idol time.  May the inspiration keep on coming!
6. I'm thankful for activities rather than just toys, video games, and diversions.  Again, I'm going to mention archery and baseball here.  Sports provide something active that involves the body, no matter what the sport.  Dance keeps me fit.  Arts allow my children to express their creativity.  Activities do something toys, video games, and other diversions will never be able to do.  Activities, such as arts and crafts, sports, and science experiments are fulfilling for body, mind, and soul.  On top of that, they're always learning experiences.  You've always got room to improve with sports.  Artistic vision can always come closer to matching what you envision in your mind's eye.  Science doesn't need to be explained as a learning experience!  There are just so many benefits to activities that these other diversions could never fill.  This is why I'm thankful for all the activities we have in our lives.
7. Most importantly, I'm thankful for life, both my own and the lives of those I love.  No one is going to live forever, so I'm so happy I'm able to share every moment with the people and things I love.  Yes, my life in particular may be hard and challenging at times, but each moment I see my children smiles, that makes it completely worth it.

The Broken Window, or Kids Being Kids

So, for those of you who are my Facebook friends, you probably already know about this.  The window in the kids' room was broken today by some kid throwing rocks.  Of course, four kids fled the scene almost immediately, and we all know how that looks.  We tried to get to the bottom of it all, and they did what you expect kids to do, covered for each other.  I've got a pretty good idea who did it, not that it matters, and from the sounds of it, he was already punished for his behavior.  I was more worried about getting a bit of honesty out of it all than I was about having some kid punished for it, but it really made me think.

When you're in a neighborhood with a lot of kids, things break.  That's just how it goes.  Kids throw rocks.  Kids play ball.  In general, kids are kids.  Narrow streets aren't really the place for kids to do much of what they do, but when they don't really have many other places to go, there really isn't much option.  Kids will be kids, and that's pretty much the way of it.

Of course, going outside, everyone saw the kids take off.  We had one of the kids that took off come to the window and point the finger on another of his friends.  He was trying to be helpful out of nowhere.  We tracked down the parents of the kids who ran, just to see if we could get a straight story.  Of course, they were all (aside from one of them) decently away from it and conveniently pinned it on a kid who was nowhere to be found after that.  This is after they said they didn't see it.  They were talking about how they didn't want to get one of their friends in trouble, but I got the idea that he was already in trouble.  There's not much I can do about the way other people raise their kids, but I was very frustrated that it came down to questioning all the neighborhood kids.

This brought a few questions to mind, the first of which being, "Where are all these kids' parents?"  Now, I know I was a bit on the sheltered side as a kid, but my mom was always within earshot.  One would think with all the kids on the street one of the parents would have seen something.  One mom (who was very nice) said she'd told the group that ran down the street to take their ball game down to the end of the street where there were fewer houses, so likely nothing would get broken.  She was upset because they kept hitting her car with their football.  She was really nice about the whole thing too.  She'd said flat out that she didn't know who it was, only that she saw them playing ball and apparently they went the opposite way than what she told her, which is worth noting because even if they didn't break the window, the least they can do is take their ball game down to the other end of the street next time so if a window breaks, they don't get the blame for it.

The next question in my mind was why kids have to be so afraid of breaking things.  I remember my friends and I breaking a window playing kick ball, and we were all terrified we were going to get in trouble.  Why should it have to be that way?  Why can't kids be rewarded or their honesty when stuff like that happens instead of thinking it's better to run away?

Perhaps it's the adults that start the whole reputation.  "You broke my window, now I'll have your hide!"  They make a whole big deal about it, when, in truth, if you live around kids, there's always the risk of something getting broken when they play.  That's just what happens.  It's different if they intentionally break or damage something, but if it's an honest accident, sure most people will be mad, but I know I'm not the only kid who's been around when a window got broken.  I know I won't be the last.  Why can't adults just take a deep breath and say, "I understand it was an accident, but you need to be more careful.  There's not much for it now, other than to fix the window.  Thank you for your honesty."  Then from there, depending on if it's a child you know really well or a child you just met, and the age of the child, you can either work it out with them on what needs to be done, or talk to their parents and see if you can all sit down and work out a solution.  Maybe they need to replace the window.  Maybe they need to do so much work at your house to "pay" for the damages.  In the case of an older kid, this would be a great solution, even if it is just doing some work on your garden or shoveling your walk.  Perhaps they just need to help out with the clean-up, if they're old enough to do it safely.  For a really young kid, maybe just a heart-felt apology along with showing that they understand why breaking something like that isn't very good would be enough.  I mean, accidents happen.  The most you can do is try to fix it and move on.  After all, you wouldn't go after a tree that fell through your window for compensation.  You wouldn't sue the lightning for striking, or a flood for ruining your garden.  The best thing you can do is show them why it would be good for them to be more careful in the future, show them how to take actions in the future to prevent it, and fix the problem, if possible.  In the case of these kids, I honestly think all I'd have wanted to hear is a heartfelt apology and a promise that they'll be more careful next time.  I'm not going to have to pay for the window to be fixed, so why should I demand they do it?  And, as a friend of mine says, "Accidents are called accidents for a reason.  If you meant to do it, it would have been called an on-purpose."  In truth, that's the best way to teach a kid to own up for mistakes that they made, and for most kids, if they know they aren't going to be in trouble and can find a way to make it better, they'll gladly take that option!

What about the parents of the kids?  It wasn't hard to see with these kids' parents why they ran.  One woman (who might very well have a guilty child as the other three targeted) blew up when her younger son was so much as asked if he saw who did it and who that child was.  She yelled at Chesh!  "You don't talk to my kid and get all up in his face.  If you've got a problem with my kid, you come to me!"  Even her own mother told her to calm down, that no one was "up in her son's face" and that we'd both already thanked him for being helpful.  Another father (who actually turned out to be very nice when he found out his son was innocent and that we weren't going to accuse him of anything) seemed to make his son afraid of getting caught.  The boy's older brother was actually very up-front about it.  He flat out called it, "Why would you run if you didn't do anything?  It makes you look like you're in trouble!  You know Dad wouldn't have been upset if you didn't run!"  Apparently the boy had already been in trouble with the management there for some other stuff he'd done.  They promised they'd keep the kid off our street for a while and supervise him, just in case he was a part of it all, because he doesn't need to get into any more trouble.  I told them the honest truth, he seemed like a good kid.  Another mom took her son back to the house and I don't want to know what happened there.  He was the likely suspect, right beneath the window when it happened and the kid that was seen throwing stuff near the houses and at windows.  But the question is whether these kids would have run or tried to cover for each other if they weren't so afraid of what would happen if they got caught?  If their parents would just try and resolve the situation, perhaps they wouldn't be so afraid of their parents finding out.  It seems like parents around here are all too quick to punish, and not quick enough to try and teach their kids to make things right.

I will say, in all of this, there was one kid who came forward with everything he knew and tried his best to be helpful.  His mom came to the door just as I was writing this.  First she asked if my mom was home.  I told her I was flattered, because I am the mom!  She was too funny about it too.  She said she heard her son was involved in the situation with my window and told him to spill, tell me everything.  He told me just as he'd told me the first time, straight off the bat.  I told his mom that's exactly what he told me from the start, and of all the kids, he was the only one to come up to me and tell me what he saw, who was involved, and help me track everyone down.  He'd given me names and houses.  On top of all that, he stuck around even when he knew he could have been in trouble for it.  I told her he was so incredibly helpful.  Even when the kids he'd pointed out started pointing fingers this way and that, he kept true to his story (though he didn't want to go into too much detail when the other kids were around, and I can't blame him).  When the kids said where they were standing when it happened, some of them changed their story around, but his story on where everyone was and what they were pretty much doing never changed.  He even told me twice that he was sorry the window was broken, wanted to help me clean up, and was glad no one got hurt and nothing else was broken!  I swear, I think his mom was ready to burst into tears!  There was no moment more touching when she said, "Come here" with that firm, but kind mother's tone.  He walked up to the top of the stairs with the look of a kid who expected to get in trouble when he was only trying to do the right thing.  She held her arms out to him and gave him a hug, thanked him, told him how proud of him she was, and that he was growing up into such a strong, kind, good man.  I swear, I almost started crying at the beauty of it all!

From what I understand now, the kids that were likely at the root of it all are kind of trouble makers anyway.  They aren't supervised and they get into a lot of trouble.  Their parents would just rather "beat it out of them" than try and take the time to find out what really happened and what could have been done about it.  One of them is apparently grounded for a year and the other one, who knows.  It's frustrating to see kids grow up like that, and this mother was really concerned that her son was hanging around with these kids.  However, I even told her how I thought she should be proud of him for doing the right thing, because that's all I ever ask, and that if some day it's him that broke my window in an accident, hopefully he'll have the courage to come to my door and tell me the story straight, because I didn't want any of them to be in trouble.  I just wanted an honest answer as to what happened.  He gave me exactly that.  I started all of this off with a concern about how many of these kids were going to grow up, but now I'm instilled with a sense of hope.  There are even more good parents out there than I thought!

Things I'm Thankful For, Week Three

We're off and flying with another week of thankfulness!  It's hard to believe that we're already three weeks into November and Thanksgiving is right around the corner.  In four days I'm going to be roasting up a turkey, cooking some squash, and (as long as we can find a way to pick them up) mashing potatoes and cooking carrots.  I think that has to be my favorite thing about Thanksgiving, the food.  For now, here's a list of things I'm thankful for this week!  I promise, I'll try not to repeat anything!

1. I'm thankful for M'lilah.  I know I don't talk much about my dance career on this blog, but she's been there since the start of it in Texas.  My first major stage debut in Texas was at one of her events and she's been nothing but supportive since.  She's having some health problems again, so she will be constantly in my thoughts and prayers, but I am incredibly thankful that she's touched my life.  I would be a much different person if I'd never met her and I'm thankful that I've been blessed by having her in my life.
2. I'm thankful for our neighbor letting us do our laundry at her house.  We're currently without a car, so it makes doing laundry challenging at best.  However, we're able to do our laundry at a friend's house and that's been a life-saver!  With everything from the move, clean and dirty, mixed up into one big mess, it's caused a lot of clothes that were otherwise clean to end up dirty.  As a result, we've got a lot of laundry to do!  Now we're able to save money and the need for a ride!
3. I'm thankful for WIC.  WIC stands for Women, Infants, and Children.  For families that income qualify, like ours does, they can receive free foods through WIC.  They support pregnant and breastfeeding mothers, infants, and children up until age five.  While they don't provide much, they do provide family staples, such as milk, cheese, bread, peanut butter, beans, and eggs.  They even provide baby food and formula.  WIC has saved us so much money over the years, even though we've had several points where our benefits have lapsed.  I know on baby food alone it can save mothers as much as $70 per month.  My family has gotten a lot of benefits from WIC, and so have a lot of other families I know.  It's definitely a service I'm thankful to have around!
4. I'm thankful for Salvation Army.  Yes, this may sound like a strange one, but I am.  Years back when my ex and I lived in a shelter our daughter went to a Salvation Army day care.  She was always being sent home with clothes, shoes, toys, crayons, and other things she might need or want.  For Easter they even put together an Easter basket for each of the kids.  It was fantastic!  While we're not using those services any longer, I'm thankful that they were there when we needed them, and that they're there for other families in need.  It's also nice to know that when we've got stuff to donate, they're more than happy to take whatever we've got!
5. I'm thankful for honest friends.  Some things have come to light thanks to a friend of mine.  She proved to me that another friend of mine did far worse than I originally anticipated.  I'm really hurt, but it feels good to have this friend come clean with me, even when the other wasn't so honest at all.  It really feels good to know I have some true friends in my life.
6. I'm thankful for pizza delivery.  On a day when I've been feeling truly under the weather, I was able to provide dinner for my kids without having to wear myself out too much.  It's our moving day food several days late!  Well, better late than never, right?
7. As my wonderful aunt reminded me recently, I'm thankful for text messages!  There's nothing like quick, easy, and immediate communication.  When you don't have the time to call, or there's simply too much noise in the background, a text can serve as a quick, easy form of communication.  Sometimes I use it so often it's easy to take for granted!

Things I'm Thankful For, Week Two

This week I've got a lot to be thankful for, but I'm going to try my hardest not to pick things I've already chosen.  At the end I'm probably going to list a few of the things I'm thankful for that are repeats of last week's post, just because I feel they're worth mentioning again with everything going on.

So, here goes, week two:

1. I am incredibly thankful for good neighbors!  If it weren't for the good neighbors we used to have, we never would have managed our move, nor would we have managed to get rides for Chesh to get to and from work.  If it weren't for a new neighbor, it would have taken a lot more time and struggling to get the furniture moved into our new place.  If it weren't for the new neighbors we just met, I think I would still feel pretty uncomfortable in our new neighborhood, but now it's already starting to feel like home!  I like it here, and it's all because of the neighbors!
2. I'm thankful for warm days and sunshine!  Until you spend an evening unpacking a truck and letting all the cold air into a house without a proper heating system, you don't realize how much of a benefit the sun is to warming up your home, and how much your house can retain from a day's worth of warmth.  We should have a proper source of heat in here soon, but until then we're going to be soaking up the sunshine and warm weather and bundling up a bit more at night.  It may only be in the low 50s by the time we go to bed, but when you've got that door open, it's cold!
3. I'm thankful for good, clean water.  You never really appreciate water until the point at which you absolutely need it.  Yes, it's nice for warm showers and baths.  It's great to be able to wash your dishes. However, the point at which I appreciate it the most is when I've been working hard and just need a little something to hydrate me.  There's nothing better than a sip of water when you need it most!
4. I'm thankful for my bed.  It may not seem like much to be thankful for, or a silly thing to think about being thankful for at all, but I remember days when I slept on an air mattress on the floor, or simply on the floor on a palate made of blankets.  It wasn't the most comfortable.  There's just something about curling up in a nice warm bed with nice warm blankets that really sets the mood for sleep.  I sleep so much more soundly knowing I have my nice, warm, comfy bed!
5. I'm thankful for the internet.  Without it, I wouldn't be able to communicate as easily with friends and family, be they near or far.  I would have to rely on local markets for price shopping.  In general, it makes my life so much easier!
6. I'm thankful for NaNoWriMo.  Never before have I had such an inspiration to get writing.  Yes, I'm a good deal behind, but I'm actually okay with that.  I know I can catch up if I put my mind to it.  A little hard work and dedication goes a long way.  At the end of it all, even if I'm not satisfied with my work, at least I know I made a good effort.  Oh, and I can't forget about how wonderful of a way it is to connect with other writers!
7. I'm thankful for living in a peaceful, quiet neighborhood.  We can't judge it too well yet, but so far it seems lovely.  It's definitely a step up from our old place where we could hear the pulsating rhythms from the club down the way.  It's a definite improvement from worrying if we were going to hear more gunshots, and being paranoid all the time about being robbed.  Everyone here seems so nice.  We've heard wonderful things about the community.  It's nice to feel like we live somewhere that's home, even if it's not my idea of an ideal living situation.  What can I say?  It's nice!

And as for the things I said I'd mention from last week?  I'm still thankful for my children.  With this move and everything, it's been a rough time.  I know they didn't want to leave the old house, but they already seem much happier here.  I'm thankful for my friends who have helped us get through this move.  I'm thankful for the women at the co-op.  I'm thankful for the weather, and that it's not yet too terribly cold.  I'm thankful for Chesh's new jobs.  I'm thankful for my aunt and all the support she's been.  I'm thankful for so many things right now that I think a list couldn't possibly contain them all!

Moving Time Again

Due to, well, a lot of circumstances, my family is moving.  At first I was really upset about this whole thing.  I didn't want to move again.  We couldn't really afford to move somewhere better than where we were at.  In my opinion, we couldn't move at all.  It was a frustrating situation, but it all worked out for the best.

We've moved from an apartment into a trailer park.  At first I figured it was just one of those modular home places that are named mobile home communities even though the houses really don't move, for the most part.  When I arrived I was shocked to see the house we were looking at actually has a trailer hitch right out front!  I was wrong!  It really is a trailer!  There's an RV parked almost across the way too.

I have to admit, when I first got here, I didn't want to give this place a chance.  My first thought was "wow...this is a neighborhood I don't want to be associated with", but I know that comes from being raised with this great idea of status.  People with money simply don't live like this.  A number of the trailers look kind of run down and it definitely doesn't look like a classy part of town.  That almost wrote it off right away.

Well, I'm glad I looked farther.  There were kids playing outside when I got here, and they all seemed to be having a great time.  The place isn't perfect for us, but it's kind of what we need right now.  The kids love the house, and as much as my snobby side hates to admit it, I actually kind of love it too.  There's a yard, though not much of one, and because it's not a fancy high-end neighborhood, they'd have no problems with me putting up a clothes line, just as long as it's secure in case the neighborhood kids try to hang on it.  They'd be thrilled to have me do some gardening as long as I mark it off well so the groundskeeper doesn't mow over it by accident.  There's lots of windows with plenty of light too.  That means a bright, sunny place, not somewhere as gloomy and dark as the last one.  Yes, it's a little drafty and we're going to have to get electric heaters because the gas heat in this particular trailer isn't all that great, but that's something we can work with.  It's warm enough that the kids aren't bothered by the temperature of the house, and that was after having the door open all night and the cold air let in because we were moving everything into the house.

What I like best about this place is the ability for the kids to go outside, and the chance to actually garden.  We may not be able to grow much, but if we can find a good area to grow some vegetables we could save ourselves a little on our grocery bill.  The neighborhood is really quiet and so far all the neighbors seem really nice.  The management is wonderful too.  From what we've been told by the people we've already met, everyone kind of looks out for everyone here, which is great.  We're out in the country too, so we're away from downtown and all the high crime areas.  Someone would actually have to put some thought about coming out here to break in or mess with the property.  Even the mailboxes go unlocked.  We'll even get to go for a decently long walk through the park to get to the mail boxes.  While some might view that as a pain, I think that's kind of nice.  The kids will enjoy going for a walk every day and it's not that far.

Last night I couldn't help thinking it felt like camping when I was standing out by the moving truck, looking up at the stars.  This is kind of a creepy place to live for me.  I've never lived in a place with such a huge expanse of sky.  The little office and the RV across the way give this place a feel of camping, not a place to permanently live.  It just seems like it should be little rows of cabins by a lake or in the mountains somewhere.  They're not the rich and ritzy places, but more the places the average family goes to camp.  It feels like a whole new adventure.  Most importantly, the kids love it, and that makes me happiest of all!

Things I'm Thankful For, Week One

A lot of people on Facebook have been doing a count-down to Thanksgiving. Each day from November 1st to Thanksgiving they will be listing one thing they are thankful for. I love the idea, but I can't get online every day, so I'm going to do it every week for the month of November. Every Sunday for the month I'm going to list seven things I'm thankful for, and that might be easier than expected with the way the past few weeks are going. So, here goes! This is my list for week one!

1. I'm thankful for my kids!  Sure, some days they drive me nuts and some days I really wish they'd lose my name and forget I'm here for an hour so I can actually get something done without a million interruptions, but those times pass.  Most of the time they're bringing the whole house tons of happiness!  When times are the worst, they give me a reason to get up and keep on moving, no matter how much I don't want to.  They give me a reason to keep on trying.  I don't know what I'd do without them.
2. I'm thankful for my fantastic aunt!  Sure, she and I don't always see eye to eye, but she's always there for me to talk to, even if she doesn't like what I have to say, even if I don't like the advice and opinions she's handing back to me (because, let's face it, sometimes the truth isn't exactly easy to hear!) Without her we'd have fewer crayons, markers, and holiday crafts.  We wouldn't have such a wonderful stock of play doh.  We wouldn't have such fantastic games, half of which I'd never even heard of before she sent them.  We wouldn't have all of the fantastic kid-friendly decorations that are just as good for putting up to decorate as they are for playing with.  That's not even starting on all of the wonderful books my aunt sends on every subject!  She's really offered the children wonderful ways to expand their minds and interests, just like she did with me when I was a kid.  Most of all?  I'm thankful for my aunt because she's always been the member of the family who has meant the most to me, something I don't know if I've ever told her before.  She's been wonderful to my family, no matter who may be a part of it or what is going on in my life.  I can't wait to live closer, or at least to be able to visit with her again.
3. I'm thankful for wonderful friends who may as well be family.  Every time bad news hits they're right there to tell me how strong I am and how they'll do everything they can to help us out.  Well, sometimes "everything they can" is nothing more than a good recommendation or someone to vent to, but that's sometimes all a person needs.  Without my friends, I think I'd be pretty lost without them.
4. I'm thankful for both of Chesh's new jobs.  He's working in the kitchen at the school district and a local restaurant.  Both jobs offer benefits and are about 20 hours per week.  That means together they're full time.  It's not the ideal situation, but it's definitely a start.  Together they're the answer to our financial struggles.
5. I'm thankful for the homeschool co-op.  The co-op is made up of a group of fantastic moms and their wonderful kids.  They're wonderful to talk to and I feel like I'm finally starting to find a community where I belong.  Better yet, the kids are making some fantastic friends their own age that aren't completely caught up in school dramas and what's trendy and in.  They're a fantastic group and I'm so glad I met them all!  Without the co-op, our lives definitely wouldn't be the same!
6. I'm thankful for the weather.  It's finally cool and bearable here in Texas.  Yes, sometimes it's a little cold for my liking without having proper winter clothes, but it's nice to be able to spend some time outside, even if today is cloudy and "miserable".  I keep hoping it will rain and then it would be the perfect day!
7. I'm thankful for family games.  Whether they're educational or purely for fun, they always make for great time to sit around the table as a family.  Lately we've been playing at least one almost every day.  We've got a pretty good variety so we're probably not going to get bored of them any time soon.  Besides, even if we do start to tire of the games we've got, they're inexpensive enough that it's easy to add a new game or two to the mix now and again, and you'd be amazed how many different card games you can find online!  That means fantastic, inexpensive family entertainment that engages everyone's minds and encourages a social atmosphere.  Even a group of adults can get behind that!

Wow!  That was pretty easy!  It's wonderful to know just how many blessings I have in my life.  Three more weeks of this is going to be incredibly easy!

The Only Way She Wants to Read

If you've been following along thus far, you already know my Bunny Boo hates to read.  Reading is like a prison sentence to her.  It's the most cruel torture a parent could come up with.  If I ever want to punish my daughter, all I would need to do is sit her down with a book to work on reading.

It hasn't always been this way.  When she was very young, three, I think, she loved reading.  She wanted me to sit down and read with her all the time.  My aunt sent her a book once and she proudly picked it up declaring One, Two Three!  I was surprised when she shoved the book in my face to see that, sure enough, One, Two, Three! was the title of the book.  She was always that way with her books.  I'd pick up a book she was familiar with and as I would follow along what I was reading with my finger, she would break in with the word, reading it for me because she knew what it said.  It made reading with her a lot of fun.  We'd spend a good deal of time reading together until I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to do something else.  After about twenty or so books, I needed a break.  My voice was worn and I was starting to feel like I had no time to do anything I wanted to.  I was just an audio book library for my daughter.  By the end of it I wanted to make that ping sound that those read-along tapes I used to have when I was younger.

Somewhere along the line, things changed.  Reading became "too hard".  Actually, everything was "too hard" if it required any effort on her part at all, even using the toilet.  I'm sure part of it had to do with her father deploying and having a new baby brother in the house, so suddenly all eyes weren't on her.  Though I tried to do special "big girl" things with her, or things her brother couldn't enjoy but was stuck tagging along for the ride, it wasn't good enough.  She's been daddy's little girl since the day she was born, and having me as a replacement for nearly fifteen months simply wasn't enough.  I would try and teach her the alphabet and she wanted nothing to do with it because I wasn't her aunt and she wanted to see her aunt.  Her aunt was the one that did the best "letters" stuff with her and I couldn't compare.  No matter what I tried to do, she always had some reason to be unhappy with it.  She wanted to move out of Texas and go back to "the snow place".  She wanted Daddy to come home right that second.  If that couldn't happen, I had to have her friends over every day.  This was followed by constant string of "I hate you, Mommy!"  Where she learned that, I'll never know, but there it was.  I have to admit, I hated Texas.  I hated the Army.  I wanted nothing more than to go back home to Massachusetts so my little girl could have her family back, even if I couldn't bring her father home.  She seemed better about not having him around when we at least had other family there to keep her mind off of everything.

When Daddy came home things got worse and things slowly went down hill from there.  Separation followed his first year back.  He deployed again and never called to speak to his kids.  We tried co-habitation for everyone's sake, with Chesh and the littlest one when my soon-to-be-ex-husband got back from his deployment, but things got far worse, and Daddy trying to step in and help her with her reading only turned into more of a disaster.  They just weren't a good personality match when it came to learning and she was just too far frustrated with the whole idea.

So with all of this, it shouldn't be surprising that reading isn't something I've had an easy time bringing her around to.  It seems to carry a lot of negative baggage for her for some reason.  However, we've been finding creative ways to get her to read.  She wants to play some of her favorite games, she's got to learn to read.  If she wants to learn about stuff she's interested in, the best thing to do is be able to read about it.  Most of what she wants to do requires reading.  It hasn't been an easy path.

Thankfully, Chesh just jumped on board with the reading.  Bunny Boo loves Pokemon.  She's been wanting to do everything with Pokemon since we got her the DS game she loved so much.  The other day Chesh decided he would teach her to play a card game.  Seeing as we didn't have any Pokemon cards on hand, Chesh asked her if she wanted to learn how to play Magic the Gathering.

Now, to give you a little bit of background, when we have adults over to play cards, we're not playing conventional card games.  More often than not, Chesh is having friends over to play Magic.  When Marrok stayed with us, he played Magic too.  Bunny Boo would often see Chesh sitting over his cards trying to figure out how to improve one of his decks or organizing his cards to put away new cards he got through purchase, Christmas presents, or trade.  He spent a good long time looking up the cards he needed to complete his collections and how much he could expect to look at in purchase cost or trade value.  He's not just a player.  He's also a collector.  On a few occasions I would sit down with Chesh and help him build a deck, or would out and out build a deck for him that he would test and modify as needed, with or without my help.  She'd seen that we both would invest a lot of time on what someone else might find a silly card game.  She'd asked about it several times, but we kept telling her she had to learn to read if she wanted to learn how to play.  Reading is a large part of the game.  True, we also played games like Munchkin, and she's seen a few rousing games of rummy, but Magic was the bulk of the card playing action among adults.

Because of this, when Chesh told her to come out to the dining room and sit down, she was curious.  She knew Chesh had his cards spread across the table for days, having to clean them up every night for dinner.  She couldn't imagine why he would want her out there while he was working with his cards.  I almost expected her snappy, much too early teen attitude response of, "What do you want now?"  It had been a long day and exasperation isn't something I'll ever deny her when she's been dealing with two brothers that want nothing to annoy her all day.  Thankfully, she refrained.

When she walked into the dining room, the cards were still all laid out.  Chesh helped her build her first deck.  Then, once they'd done that, he sat her down and taught her to play Magic.  They played one hand before she had to run off and do something else, but she did really well and almost won!  She read all the cards on her own, with a little bit of help, of course, and he taught her how to use all of the spells and creatures to her best advantage.  She really enjoyed it and hasn't stopped bugging Chesh to play again.

The other day when we went to the library we realized that if Bunny Boo wanted to keep her own library card, she would need a wallet to keep it in.  I had told her we would look for one she liked.  We went to Target, but I didn't realize they didn't have wallets for kids.  We should have probably gone to the mall.  However, she selected one that was just perfect for her.  It's square a square hard case with one of those button latches that you push to open it.  It's decorated with a brightly colored peacock.  I have to admit that I thought she would choose that one.  It was so her.  It's just the right size.  It's got a zip pocket for change, a nice little spot to tuck any money she may carry on her for whatever reason, and a couple slots for cards.  She decided to use the clear ID pocket to put her library card in.  She's so proud of it, but again, I digress.  I'm pretty good at that, aren't I?

While we were looking at wallets, Chesh decided to go look at the Magic cards.  This is a regular routine for us.  Every time we stop at a store with cards or video games he wants to check out the selection.  I didn't think anything of it until he came back with the littlest in the cart and told me to have the kids wait a few feet away because he had to ask me something.  He pointed into the cart and said, "I wanted to ask you first, since I know money is tight and we're trying to save, but I wanted to get that for Bunny Boo."  I looked down and there was a two player starter set for thePokemon Trading Card Game.  He was right.  We were supposed to be saving money.  We probably shouldn't have spent the money on her wallet, but it was something I could justify.  She would feel much more comfortable knowing I didn't have to carry her library card everywhere for her and this way she wouldn't lose it.  Besides, it wasn't expensive.  Neither were the cards, and if it gave her something to encourage her to read, it was worth it.  I know I should have said no to both expenses, but I gave in.  We would find a way to make it work, and it had been quite a while since I'd last splurged on the kids.  My daughter felt pretty left out not that long ago because we had to buy new underwear for her brother and she didn't get anything, and the baby, of course, always gets new things, even if it's just second hand clothes from friends.  She knows it's just because he's growing so fast and needs clothes to wear, but it's still hard for her.  It might do her good to see her singled out for something special.

Wouldn't you know it?  When we got home she kept begging to play her game!  When she was first told we were playing a game tonight she was thinking we could sit down and play Mousetrap or something.  She hadn't thought about her game or Magic.  All she knew was the family was going to sit down and play a game.  Instead, after sitting through reading, she was offered to play Pokemon.  Of course, reading was a stealthy, sly trick to let Chesh figure out the rules of the game before they played!  They played through once to learn how the game was played, and then it was time for bed.  You could tell.  At first she was reading the cards eagerly, but towards the end she was dropping off and getting frustrated.  Still, she was so disappointed that she couldn't play again.  We had to promise her she could play again in the morning.

As it turns out, Chesh was torn between getting her the two player starter for Magic or Pokemon, but Pokemon won out.  He figured it's more age appropriate for her and it would be something special that was just for her.  Once her brothers were old enough, if she still wanted to play, she could teach them to play too.  Given a lot of adults play Pokemon, I wouldn't be surprised if she did still play.  Now she wants to learn to read even more so she can get really good at playing.  It will be easier to win when she doesn't have to ask for help with reading her cards!

Since she started playing, she secretly announced to me that she really liked learning to read for card games. Playing those games makes her actually want to read!  It looks like we have a success!  Now I've just got to come up with other things that will be interesting and engaging enough to encourage her to read.  If she'll read for things that are truly fun and engaging with someone else, maybe that's our foot in the door.  Maybe that's all she needed to turn her focus to reading!