With moving coming upon us so quickly, I have to say, I'm really excited. Yes, there are some things I'm dreading about moving again. It's always kind of stressful, isn't it? Watching all of your life disappear into boxes only to be opened and put away in somewhere that doesn't feel at all like home. It's not something that inspires a warm and fuzzy feeling.
I have to admit, I've been pretty optimistic about moving since I've started writing this blog. In some cases I haven't always felt so optimistic. In this case, I've got to admit that I'm really kind of done with moving. With each move we've sworn it would be our last move for a long time, and each time something has happened to change that promise to ourselves. It's been pretty frustrating.
This time I have to admit that I really am feeling more optimistic about it. Yes, there are going to be some challenges with this move. We're going to have to settle in to a whole new place with not nearly enough stuff. I'm going to have to find a way to decorate to my satisfaction, which will be pretty hard with not enough furniture or things to decorate with. However, we're going to make the best of it. It's going to be our own home and we'll have at least a year before we have to worry about moving again!
As much as I've been a bit skeptical about moving in the past, I really am feeling pretty good about this one. We're going to have our own home again, and I can really step up to be mistress of the house. I know for many that doesn't seem like something I'd really want. I'm too much of the kind of person to sit back and watch life drift by merrily. However, I've come to realize that I need to have power in my own domain. I need to be able to take charge and deal with something when there's a problem. After all, if I'm the one with the problem, I'm the one that needs to do something about it. That's not something that can be done when you share a house with room mates, especially when you feel you aren't all equals in the house. It was made very clear shortly after we moved in that one person's say was very much ranked higher than everyone else. However, instead of stepping up and taking action herself when something bothered her, she just let it get to her. I'm not criticizing her. It's not my place to do so. However, that made things challenging. I didn't feel like I had the right to step up and deal with things I felt needed to be handled because on several occasions, doing so meant stepping on toes. As much as not doing so caused upset on her part, it was far easier to tolerate her upsets than constantly having to live under her specific rule set. I'll be honest, I've felt that way with many of the people I've lived with unless everyone moved in at the same time with agreements on how everything would be handled.
I'm looking forward to having my own kitchen again, where I can set everything up the way I like it. This is a big thing for me since I've always been the one to do the most cooking in every room mate situation we've had, yet I haven't been able to arrange the kitchen in a way that works for me in any of them. I'm going to have my own private bathroom again, well, my partner and I will. This may not seem like a big deal, but it's nice to be able to take a shower without having to clear tub toys out of the way first or having children banging down my door because someone has to use the bathroom right that very second and cannot wait! I'll be able to set up homeschooling supplies without having to worry about any of it being in the way for room mates, or trying to find somewhere to put it all in a home that's already so well established. I can have the heat and air conditioner set at a temperature I'm comfortable with, and not have to worry about being too cold all the time or unbearably hot. In truth, I'm just looking forward to living the way I want to live without a whole bunch of rules being imposed upon me. It's too much the idea of living with my parents, yet I'm a parent myself. It's a good reminder of why I never could live with my parents again.
I'm honestly just looking forward to getting back to normal again, or as normal as our family ever has. I just want a chance to be myself without having to be suffocated by oppression, whether these friends believed or intended to be oppressive or not. In the case of the last person I lived with, I know she and her family had no intentions of ever being the oppressive sort. It was more that the situation and my lifestyle and habits didn't mesh in the least. Something had to change, and it did. I think she and I can be better friends when all is said and done. In all honesty, I don't know that it's worked out so well for all of the people I've left behind.
Most importantly, I'm finally gaining my sense of stability back again. I chose to give up that stability last April for some very overpowering reasons. I was honestly left with little choice. While that's not something I want to put much emphasis on right now, I'm happy to finally be getting that sense of stability back again!
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