The Tradition that Is Christmas Eve

My friend, TheArtsyEclectic over at Otherwise Quite Good has inspired me to write yet again!  She recently wrote about her cracked Christmases of the past.  I can't help but look back and see how incredibly different our childhood holidays were.  Yes, my holidays were filled with their own interesting times, but I do think they were quite normal in many ways.

As much as I love my dad, and I really do, I've come to notice holidays in my house revolved around my mom.  I know that's mostly because my mom was the one home with us all the time.  She was the one who picked us up from school.  She was the one who was with us all summer long and every school vacation.  She took us to our riding lessons and to summer camp.  As a result, it's probably not surprising that she would be the one our happy holiday experiences would be with.

My mom did all the Christmas shopping.  If ever there was a Santa to be had in my family, it was my mother.  I swear, she always knew exactly what we wanted, and a few things we weren't even sure existed, but were loved sometimes most of all.  She managed to do all of this without my sister and I knowing.  I didn't even know where her hiding spots were.  She was good, and my sister and I never saw it coming!  It was especially shocking for the massive quantity of stuff we got!  I don't think I remember a Christmas that didn't feel like I got a thousand presents under the tree.  I can't imagine where she must have hidden it all for us, never mind how she managed to wrap it all without us so much as knowing it.  That was definitely more than a one night job!

One of my most fond memories with my mom was baking cookies.  I have to admit, my memories of my childhood largely consist with a handful of things when it comes to my mom.  There was time at the stable.  Then there's the image of my mom working on a cross-stitch dragon picture or a stocking while sitting under a tree at the reservoir where we used to swim.  I remember my mom sitting up late at the sewing machine making teddy bears or Halloween costumes for my sister and I.  However, the most prominent memory I have of my mom was baking cookies.  Sometimes I think back and it's almost like she was always making cookies when we were little, from scratch every time.  It wasn't just the classic Toll House cookies.  I remember making and decorating ginger bread men most of all.  There's nothing like decorating ginger bread men at Christmas.  My mom would supply us with everything to decorate them, and as kids always do, we would load them up to an insane degree.  My dad would always sneak in and steal one of the imperial hearts or red hots, whatever you want to call them.  Those always made the best buttons.  I vaguely remember making stocking cookies at my grandparents' house one year on Christmas eve too.

Every year we would go over to my grandparents' house with a big tray of another sweet that my mom was famed for making, her chocolate fudge.  My mom has since passed down the recipe to my sister and I.  I've come up with a half-dozen different variants to this recipe so we can have a wider variety of flavors.  You can ask most of my family, I've gotten pretty creative.  Unfortunately, the biggest ingredient I need to order from out of state, which puts a damper on that whole family tradition.  My mom's fudge recipe just isn't the same without Marshmallow Fluff.  Yes, I know Jet Puffed makes a Marshmallow Creme, but it's just not the same.  The whole family would want some.  I remember looking over the table at the fudge, debating just how much of it I could eat without getting sick.  It wasn't nearly as good when it was done as it was when my mom would let us sample some fresh from the pan, still warm and melted.  It was a part of our holiday tradition that I hope to get back, even if it means ordering the real Fluff!

No, things weren't perfect.  Generally there was always some family fight on Christmas Eve, though I never really noticed it until I was older.  My sister and I never wanted to go home because it was so much fun to be with the whole family, and we thought we got away with a lot more at family events, even though I'm almost positive that wasn't actually true.  We would open all our presents from the relatives that night and then drop to bed.  My sister was always much too tired and would be asleep almost instantly.  I would typically be awake for hours, pretending to sleep when my mom came and checked on me.  I was too excited to actually sleep.  Unfortunately, it meant hearing my parents bickering about Christmas presents and Santa Clause.  I guess that's one way to ruin it for a kid.  Even so, there are some incredibly fond memories of Christmas Eve, like falling asleep hearing Silent Night sung by some random carolers, or the stories my mom would tell about going caroling and singing a rousing version of Deck the Halls at their neighbor's house, the Halls.

Overall, I think I was a pretty lucky child to have wonderful Christmases filled with joy and magic for the holiday.  I hope that I can give that same gift to my kids, though, this year I think we're not going to be so lucky.  My kids are going to have an incredibly rough Christmas this year.  We've already moved the first things over to our new place.  Their toys were one of the first things to go.  Of course, they're going to be getting new gifts for Christmas, so it's not like they're going to be left with no toys at all.  They can hack it for a couple of days.  We're going to do a couple gifts for Christmas Eve so they have something, but I'm not too worried about it.  Christmas morning won't be long.

Unfortunately, right now Christmas is filled with frustration, aggravation, and fighting, much like the ones of my childhood were.  Thankfully, it's not my partner and I fighting.  It's my daughter and older son who can't seem to stop driving each other crazy.  My daughter has threats of "when I have my own room you're never allowed to come in it!"  My son, of course, screams at her because she's being mean.  My head is pounding more and more with each day that goes by.  It's been so tempting to just bring back all their presents and not give them a Christmas this year.  The money could go towards getting the electricity and water turned on at our new place, or towards moving costs.  However, I can't do that to my kids.  They drive me nuts, but I know they don't mean it.  Between Christmas and moving, they're just going through a lot, and are probably as stressed out as the adults in the house are!  I swear, starting next Christmas, we're going to be building family traditions that are memorable.  I want my kids to have the same kind of joyous experience I had as a kid, cookie baking, fudge making, and all!